Disclaimer: Gary, the paper, and all the other EE characters do not belong to me. They belong to CBS, Tristar, Fox Family, etc. No copyright infringement is intended.
Special thanks to Measer for beta reading!
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As Gary strolled down the isle, he was amazed at how many kinds of pillows there were. Scratching his head, Gary didn't know were to begin. Looking at his watch, he cursed when he realized how little time he had.
"Can I help you sir?" a salesclerk asked, tapping Gary on the shoulder.
Startled, Gary nearly jumped ten feet into the air, "Where did you...when did...um...I guess I...I could use some help. Sure."
"Great." The salesclerk said, smiling with a huge fake grin. "Come with me." Whispering under her breath the salesperson rolled her eyes, "Why do the weird people shop here?"
"Huh?" Gary asked as he followed her around the corner.
"Nothing," the woman reassured Gary. Stopping abruptly, the woman turned towards Gary, "What exactly were you looking for? Something for sleeping? Down? Cotton? Something for decoration?"
Scratching his head again, Gary sighed. "I don't know, something...comfortable ... that could maybe break someone's fall for example..." Gary's voice drifted off as he spoke.
"Ah ha. I have just the thing." Tapping Gary lightly on the nose, she whispered, "Don't you go anywhere. I'll be right back."
Cringing, Gary secretly wished that woman didn't find him so attractive. Tapping his feet impatiently, Gary looked up and down the isle for any sign of the salesclerk. Seeing Gary, another saleswoman began walking over towards him. "Um... er...I 'm being helped thanks." Gary shouted across the store.
Surprised, the woman looked at him strangely. Frowning, she turned and headed in the opposite direction.
Sighing, Gary looked at his watch. Cursing again, Gary grabbed a nearby cart and began randomly cramming pillows into it. Seeing the salesclerk returning with a catalog, Gary quickly rounded the corner and sped toward the checkout line. Luckily it was a slow day and there was no line. Skidding into the lane, he scrambled to hand the pillows to the cashier.
Taking the pillows one by one, the cashier slowly ran the tags of each pillow over the scanner. Sometimes running the same tag over and over several times until the machine beeped, telling him that the price had been scanned.
Impatiently, Gary glanced at his watch once more. Motioning with his hands for the cashier to hurry up, Gary suggested, "How about I just pay you fifty dollars for all of these and let me get outta here?"
"Well, the store policy is that...."
"I don't care... I'm in a hurry...it's life or death..."
"How about seventy-five?"
"You got yourself a deal, Mister."
"Great..." Reaching for his wallet, Gary realized that it was missing. "No...crap! Just hold on one second." Turning around, Gary walked right into the salesclerk. She was holding his wallet.
"Looking for this?" She asked dangling it in front of his face.
Embarrassed, Gary replied, "Yeah...." As he began to reach for it, the woman pulled it away.
"Oh really? You know what....you're kinda cute. How about we make a deal?"
"What would that be?" Gary asked humoring her.
"You go out on a date with me."
Dangling the wallet in front of his face, she motioned toward the pillows with her head, "Seems like you really need those...life or death was it? Come on, just one little date? What do you say?"
"Come on, I can't stand here all day." the cashier whined.
"Fine," Gary said as he grabbed the wallet from her hand. Hastily opening it, he quickly counted out some money and threw it at the cashier. Grabbing as many pillows as he could, he began cramming them back into the cart. Once he had gotten every pillow, Gary nodded a good bye to the cashier who was counting his money and began to head out of the store.
"Wait!" the salesclerk called after him. When she caught up with him, she shoved a piece of paper into his hand. "My phone number. Call me." Increasing his speed, Gary continued to jog out of the store. "And it better be sometime this week!" She called as the doors closed behind him.
Fumbling for the keys, Gary opened the sliding door of the McGinty's van. Shoving the pillows inside the van, he slammed the door shut and jogged over to the drivers side. Starting the engine, Gary peeled out of the parking lot.
"Okay man, truth or dare."
Puzzling over the question, Patrick remembered the last time he had played truth or dare. Almost throwing up when he was dared to drink toilet water and the time he had to go skinny dipping in Lake Michigan, luckily it was during the summer. "Dude, dare me."
"All right! Hey, Nicky, get over here and help me think of a wicked dare." Cirrus, one of Patrick's friends, called.
Taking a seat on the couch next to Cirrus and whispered something in his ear. Waiting curiously, Patrick twiddled his thumbs. "Dude!" Cirrus replied as Nicky continued to whisper in his ear. "Wicked! Okay, Patrick, meet us on Canal Street at six."
Scratching his head, Patrick asked, "What do I have to do?"
Smiling mischievously, Nicky replied, "You'll find out when ya get there."
"Ain't no thing like a chicken wing, bro." Nicky said putting his arm
around Patrick's shoulder.
Stepping down on the brake, Gary slammed his fist down onto the steering
wheel. Why didn't he remember there was going to be a back up? Checking
his watch, he grabbed the paper from his back pocket. Opening it he skimmed
through. A headline caught his attention. ACCIDENT HOLDS UP COMMUTERS FOR
HOURS. "Give me something. Come on..." Skimming through the rest of the article,
Gary found a side rode that he could take to escape the traffic. Turning
the page, Gary checked another article, it remained the same. Setting the
paper down besides him, Gary backed the car up slightly, receiving a series
of angry honks and a middle finger, Gary turned down a hidden road.
"Yo Patrick! Over here!" Cirrus called.
As Patrick jogged over, he began to doubt whether or not her should go though with it or not.
"Okay dude. See this cart?" Cirrus asked motioning to a shopping car.
"Yeah." Patrick answered wearily.
"Congrats man. You're gonna be the first to ride down this street in a shopping cart."
"Hold up." Patrick said giggling uncontrollably.
"Hey, you gotta do it. It's a *dare*."
Still laughing, Patrick climbed into the cart. "Let's do this!" He shouted gripping onto the sides.
"Safety first." Nicky said as he placed a helmet on Patrick's head. It was bright pink with white daisies on it. Tapping on the helmet, Nicky held back his laughter, "Looking good, Dude."
"Ready?" Cirrus asked getting ready to push Patrick down the road.
"You better believe it!" Patrick shouted as Cirrus and Nicky pushed him
down the road.
Parking on the side of the road, Gary quickly turned the car off and got out. Heading towards the sliding door, he open it and was about to grab one of the pillows when he heard shouting. Looking up, he saw Patrick, in a shopping cart, speeding towards him.
"Patrick!!!" Gary shouted.
"Mr. H?!?" Patrick called back. "Hey!!"
"Patrick! What are you doing?"
"Looks like I'm riding in a shopping cart!"
Groaning, Gary shouted, "I can see that!! Get out!"
"Your gonna hurt yourself!"
"Oh, I see. The sixth sense thing again. I gotcha." Patrick shouted as he continued to speed down the hill.
"Patrick!!!" Gary shouted in horror as he watched Patrick fly past him. His cart hit a bump in to road and Patrick was thrown into the air. Luckily he landed in the pile of pillows in the McGinty's van, but unfortunately, he bounced off the pillows and slammed back onto the concrete head first.
"No!" Rushing to Patrick's side, Gary whispered, "Patrick, Patrick answer me. Patrick." Standing up, he searched for his cell phone. After calling 911, Gary waited by Patrick's side for the ambulance to come.
Groaning, Patrick opened his eyes. "Mr.H?"
"I think I wiped out."
"Yeah, ya did."
"My leg hurts."
"The ambulance will be here soon."
Closing his eyes, Patrick groaned in pain.
Holding his hand, Gary rubbed it soothingly. "It's okay buddy. Just hang
"What do you mean I can't go with him?" Gary asked the paramedic.
"We have a full load," the paramedic answered.
"We got some guy with a broken arm, he's sitting in the seat that's normally reserved for passengers, cause this was on the way and he ain't in a life or death situation." The paramedic replied nodding to a man sitting in the ambulance cradling his arm, he was moaning in a low painful voice. "Even though he seems to think so."
"Fine. I'll drive myself."
"Everybody wants to be a winner. Nobody wants to be a loser. It's the same for me, it's the same for you, it's insane....."
Turning off the radio, Gary stopped at a red light. Sighing, he watched as the ambulance sped off into the distance, it's siren blaring.
Rubbing his eyes, Gary was deep in thought. If only he had gotten there
sooner. But how would he have stopped Patrick? If only he could have stopped
Patrick from even going through with the dare. if only... a blaring horn
behind him shook him from his thoughts. Glancing up, Gary realized that the
light had turned green, stepping on the gas, he headed in the direction the
ambulance had gone.
BARTENDER HOSPITALIZED AFTER JOYRIDE. Local Bartender, Patrick Quinn was
hospitalized after crashing into a car in a speeding shopping cart. Eyewitnesses
say that the cart hit a bump, flinging Patrick into the air. Landing in a
pile of pillows inside a nearby car, Patrick bounced back onto the sidewalk.
The fall would have been fatal if he hadn't been wearing a helmet. Patrick
left the accident with a broken leg and a few cuts and bruises. When asked
about the pillow filled car, the driver, Patrick's boss, Gary Hobson, stated,
"I...I guess I just like pillows." Patrick is currently in good condition
and should be released within a few days.
"Come in," Patrick called groggily.
"Hey. How you doing?"
"Mr. H," Patrick said sitting up. "What are you doing here?"
"I brought you some comics." Gary replied, setting a stack of comic books on a tray near Patrick's bed.
"All right! X-Men! Oh yes, Silent Bob and Jay!"
"Henry mentioned you liked those, but what I really wanted to say was that I'm sorry."
"I can't help but feel responsible for what happened."
"It was me that got into the cart, not you Mr. H."
"I know, what I mean is..."
"It's okay Mr. H. The sixth sense thing again. I understand." Patrick said winking at Gary.
Email the author: Smile87Dee@aol.com