*Chapter 1*

Meow. Thump. Gary just opened his eyes and looked at his alarm clock, on the display it was :25 AM. Grabbing his pillow he said to the feline "Come back in 5 minutes, will ya?" and placed the pillow on his face. Realizing he couldn't fight the paper's will, Gary sighed as he stood up.

"If only something could change on my life." he thought. It wasn't the first time this thought crossed his mind. As he bent to get the paper he saw a card on top of it. It was still hard hard to focus on the letters, he stared at it until he was able to read it.

"They want to meet me again, Marissa!" Gary was walking around the bar.

"Maybe they're going to tell you where the paper come from or maybe it doesn't have anything to do with the paper." Marissa kept reading the book in front of her.

Reading again the card Gary asked annoyed "So your point would be...?"

Marissa stoped reading and said in a confident way "There's only one way you'll find out. And you know what you gotta do, Gary."

When Gary finally found the address on the card, he was about to give up. All buildings in the street looked alike and its number was rather hard to find. An old office building on downtown Chicago. He entered the lobby searching for the room. After about 10 minutes walking around and not being able to find it, he asked a person who was on the lobby.

"Excuse me, do you know where the room 204 would be?"

Surprised by the question, the middle aged man replied "There's no such room on this building. Are you sure you are in the right building?"

Gary looking again to the card said "Yes, I'm sure. Well, thanks anyway."

He walked on a long hall, a bit dark with a fancy carpet and some paintings on the wall to find a single room on the end of the hall. On the door a sign "204". Gary thought "Why don't I find this strange?" as he knocked. A short man opened the door. "Would you please wait on the other room, sir?" before Gary could ask anything the man left the room.

Sitting on the chair Gary started to examine the room. There was just a desk, some papers and an old fashioned telephone. More painting on the walls. Just like the ones on the hallway, allof them were cat paintings. And a small window facing another building. A few moments later aman entered the room. Hanging his coat on the chair, he sat just to find Gary looking rather discomfortable staring at a particular painting of an orange cat.

"I suppose you're Mr. Hobson, is that correct?" He said while shaking Gary's hand.

"Yeah. Is this going to be like the last time? A bunch of questions about my so called subscription?" Gary then looked again to the paintings on the walls.

Going thru some papers on the desk, the man said "No. Well, we wanted to thank you in some way for the 5 years you spent handling tomorrow's paper for us. You did a good job."

Gary's eyes got wide open "Either it's a dream or a really lousy joke!"

"You're mistaken, Mr. Hobson. We'll give you the power to let you choose what you would like to change on your past. But think carefully--"

Before the man could even end the phrase, Gary was ready to say what he wanted. Believing it was one of those dreams you can "choose" what will happen it wouldn't hurt to try. Still there was a small change it could be true so it was worth trying "I want my wife back and I want tomorrow's paper as far away from me as possible!"

The man smiled "I like your style, Mr. Hobson. Just tell me when you're ready."

So Gary said a brief moment later "I'm ready!"

"To what, Gar?" A voice that sounded just like Chuck reached Gary's ears.

Looking around, Gary found himself on Strauss & Associates staring at the monitor screen of a computer. Chuck was by his side furiously typing on the keyboard. Gary checked the date on a newspaper what was next to him on the desk August 15th 2002 which meant it was the same day and that paper wasn't tomorrow's. Still trying to find out why he would be there suddenly he heard Chuck's voice.

"Hey Gar! Gar! Are you okay?!" Chuck was worried about Gary's behavior.

Pritchard walked by "Come on ladies, I don't pay you both to chat!"

Chuck very cheerful as usual "We know that Mr. Pritchard! Won't happen again!"

As Pritchard walked away, Gary was still staring at the monitor. One hell of a real dream. All looked so real and everybody reactions were so real too. "Well, it just could be my imagination playing with my memories" Gary thought. There couldn't be any other explanation.

"Don't tell me Marcia made you sleep on the couch again!" Chuck was trying to tease Gary.

Gary finally spoke something "Nice joke Chuck! Now, what about Fishman Productions?! Weren't you living on LA?!"

Chuck held his laughter as Gary was seriously asking "LA? No way. I like the cold wind of Chicago. Besides, why would I leave you?" he laughed.

Gary was way too distracted "So where's Marissa? She still works here right?"

On the lunch break, Gary and Chuck gone to eat on a restaurant near by. Gary was trying to fill the voids on his memory, even though there was one too many. He didn't know why he wasremembered some things completely different than they really were. And he was getting really mad at Chuck for his jokes about Marissa and specially about Marcia.

Gary sat angry staring at Chuck "Won't ya tell me where's Marissa?! For heavens sake!"

"I was hoping you would just stop this sick joke. Well, if you insist," Chuck sighed as he sat "Some years ago she went to the university, she met that guy and--"

"Nooooooo! No way! It didn't happen! I saved her because I read about it on--" only then Gary understood that if he never got the paper, he didn't find out about it in time.

"You read about it? What's wrong with you today, Gar?" Chuck saw the waitress walking around the tables "Will we starve to death here, honey?"

Gary didn't go back to the work. He was walking towards the cemetery where Marissa was buried.  Walking thru the streets he knew so well, which he used to walk but everything felt so different. He felt like another person and those places seemed like they were other places. He saw the EL station only to then realize that the parking lot he was in front of used to be McGinty's. Not even knowing how to act or how to feel, he kept walking.

On the cemetery, he saw the grave. It was written "Marissa Clark" he couldn't bear reading the date or anything else. The pain was hurting deep inside, almost like it was consuming his soul.

Facing her grave but looking straight ahead Gary said "Marissa, I'm not sure if this is a nightmare. But I don't give a damn about anything else! I'll do anything to make thing go back to what they used to be. ANYTHING!"

Walking away, fighting the will to scream at the world he saw Chuck waiting for him. Gary was able to think straight, all the wanted was the paper back. He entered Chuck's car without saying anything. So Chuck started to drive noticing his friend wasn't in his best moments. Still he didn't have a clue about what was wrong with Gary that day. And he wasn't really an expert in how to cheer people up.

"It was sudden and got all of us by surprise, buddy. But these things happen." Chuck kept driving towards Gary's house.

Almost not able to hold back his frustration Gary finally spoke "It's like I did kill her!  It's all my fault! I had to be selfish and give up the paper!"

"Paper?! No Gary, not again! I don't want you to blame yourself *again* about what happened  to Marissa! It's *not* your fault or hers, damn it!"

Gary entered his house. So many memories, there was still some things in their places. Other things he had never seen before. He saw some pictures of himself and Marcia he just couldn't remember where or when they were shot. Apparently she was still working so he laid on the sofa hoping to wake up but wondering how to make things go back to normal. Somehow he was in this  other reality but how would he go back? After a while there he heard the front door open.  Marcia entered and started so search for him.

"Oh Gary! Thank god you're here!" Marcia kissed Gary while he was laying down "Chuck told me you're not feeling well today."

Gary sat on the sofa "I would rather say confused, hon. I don't know what's going on but everything doesn't feel right."

"Just lay down then. We have to go around 7 so you'll have time to rest." She was hoping he didn't forget this time too.

"Going out? For what?" Gary ran his hand thru his hair "I don't remember, you see?"

Marcia was actually feeling sorry for him "You promised you would remember. It's my dad's birthday so we're going to a visit."

She gone to their bedroom while Gary stayed on the living room. He waited until she got into the shower to go out. He didn't have time to go to his in-laws place, he had to put things back to their place. Gary just walked around without a destination trying to have an idea. He was going to cross the street when he saw Snow on the other side of the street. Running after Snow asking him to wait, after two blocks he entered another street then Gary couldn't find him. Gasping for air, Gary looked up "Help me here, will ya!" but nothing happened.

Gary got in a cab towards the place it all started. The building where he met those strange people. In all the way he just stared at the window, looking at places he knew he had been before. Without noticing he arrived on the place. Fortunately he had some money on his pocket so he payed the cab.

Entering the building, he lobby was identical to what he remembered. Even the people he saw around were there. Only that the hall didn't exist this time, it was just a wall. He kicked the wall in frustration as he said out loud "Of course!". He was starting to wonder if he has lost his mind at the point. He walked away from there. Nothing he tried was helping anyway.

He entered the front door of his house, to find Marcia on the phone. He walked to the kitchen and grabbed a beer. Hoping the alcohol would relief his mind for a while before he gone mad. Marcia threw her arms around him and took the bottle away from his hand.

"Darling, where were you? I was worried about ya." not replying anything Gary grabbed the  bottle from her hand and drunk some more.

"We're going to my parents place now, ok?" Marcia was getting upset "I don't want you to have a fight with my dad again."

In a last try to get some help, Gary wanted other people to know "Listen to me, hon! I'm not  crazy but it isn't supposed to be happening. Any of this!"

 
Meow. Thump. Gary opened his eyes and for the first time since he started getting the paper he felt relieved to hear that. As he opened his eyes he saw Marcia sleeping next to him.  Searching the cat around the bedroom it was useless. Gary sat on the bed, trying to wake up as he rubbed his face. Suddenly he remembered annoying party of his in-laws the night before which gave him that pounding headache. He just grabbed his pants and left. Finally he have got an idea to make everything go back to normal.

On Strauss & Associates Gary was just waiting for Pritchard to walk by. He was sitting in his chair reading a copy of Sun Times without caring he wasn't doing anything else. Chuck couldn't help noticing Gary was acting even more strange than the day before.

"So Gar, what are your plans for today?"

Gary finally got his attention off the paper "I just had an idea. You see, I'm going to make everything I did when I got the paper so it might come back."

Surprised as it didn't make sense, Chuck asked "What the hell is wrong with you?! What is that paper you talk so much about?!"

Pritchard noticed yet again Gary wasn't working "Hobson! Aren't you planning to work today?"

Gary stood up "Nah, I'm not in a mood to work. And I can't stand your whiny voice anymore either!" He smiled as he said "I quit."

Walking away from Strauss & Associates he saw Sherman's news stand. He stopped there, to buy a copy of Sun Times. Believing if he did at least most of the things he did when he paper arrived it would change things back. Next thing, the Black Stone Hotel where everything started. He was able to rent the same room he was living on. Walking there brought some  memories even though it was identical as he remembered, it felt different as everything else.

It was already late and Marcia couldn't find Gary anywhere. Chuck had called her seaching for him. He had disapeared since the morning when he quitted so she decided it was time to ask the police for some help. So she gone to the police station. Police crew were busy, when Marcia  finally got to be heard by someone it was by the detective Brigatti.

"See, my husband is missing. I don't see him since yesterday night and his co-workers haven't seen him today either." She had to lie because they wouldn't help until 24 hours after he was gone.

Brigatti sighed "Did you two have a fight? Did you already check hospitals?"

Noticing where the tough cop wanted to go "We didn't fight and yes I checked the hospitals.  My husband is out there-- you guys are supposed to help citizens!"

"Alright, calm down. Stay at home in case he goes back. We'll do our best to find him."

Getting Gary's picture and some personal info, Brigatti decided to check it personally. After all, that woman was really worried about him. So she got the phone on her office and started to dial some hotels asking if employees had seen someone like him.

Just tired and confused, Gary sat on the bed. After a while he said out loud "Here! I'm back to deliver the damn paper, will ya?" as he assumed, nothing happened. He turned the TV on  the news and tried to relax for a while. He had to stay there until morning so *maybe* the  paper would come back.

After a few hotels, Brigatti called was the Blackstone. There was someone registered under his  name. So it was worth checking. She was supposed to go home but the hotel was on the way so she  went there to check. It was late already so there was no traffic on the streets. In a few  minutes she got there. On the reception, she asked about the guy who registered as Gary Hobson. Showing his photo the guy swore it was the same person. So she gone to the room 67.

Knocking on the door "It's the police, open up!"

Surprised Gary replied "Wait a minute, uh, I'm dressing up!" he looked thru the peep hole. He opened the door. "What are you doing here, Brigatti?!"

Her mouth got open as she heard her name "How do you know my name?! If we had met I'd definitely remember your face!"

For his own sake Gary was able to come up with a lie "You didn't get your tag off, Detective Brigatti."

Giving dirty looks to him she replied as she got the tag off "Are you Gary Hobson?"

Running his hand thru his hair "Don't tell me this room is stolen!" he smiled.

"Good looking and funny, no wonder why your wife was so worried." She got a piece of paper off her pocket "Marcia gone to the station and reported you were missing."

Gary opened his mouth to say something when he saw Snow on the end of the hall staring at both of them. He pointed to Snow which made Brigatti turn to look. Snow just stepped into the  elevator as she looked and the door closed.

"I've got to go after him, you see?"

She looked at Gary "I think you should get professional help, Hobson. There is nobody on the hall."

Brigatti drove him home on her car. He wasn't in a condition to be walking around alone if he was already seeing people around. She was feeling sorry for the guy though. Shaking her head to wake up, she had learnt to don't feel while working. Even looking naive and lost most likely he was a nut case.

She left at his place "Don't runaway from home again, ok?" she drove away.
 
As he waited for Marcia to go back, Gary fell asleep on the sofa in the living room. He heard the door bell ringing after a while. Gary woke up but he didn't know it was already morning.  Looking at the window it was dark outside but the person who was pressing the door bell wasn't worried about the neighbors at all. "I'm goin'... I'm goin'..." Gary rubbed his eyes, still a  bit dizzy from getting up so quick. As he opened the door he saw Chuck was looking *truly* worried like Gary never had seen him only a few times before.

"What's wrong Chuck? It's 5 in the morning!"

Chuck asked as he entered "Did you get a phone call from the police already?"

Closing the door, Gary was trying to figure out what Chuck was talking about. He was standing up but his brain was still sleeping "How's that?"

"Gar..." Chuck sat down "Marcia had a car accident last night. She passed away."

Taking a deep breath Gary asked "How did it happen?"

"They told me a tire from her car exploded so she lost control of the car. I'm really sorry, buddy." Chuck gone next to the phone "I'll call her parents."

Just looking up, Gary said "Alright. I'm tired of these sick mind games! I already felt guilty enough about Marissa... you didn't need to take Marcia away too, damn it!" he sat and sunk his face into his hands. Suddenly Gary felt wind on him. Raising his head, he wasn't on his house anymore.

It was a place full of trees, grass on the ground. Gary was sitting on the ground and about a feet away from him was Snow which was staring at him. Gary was too tired to try to figure out what was true or not.

Gary rested his arms on his knees "Am I a freakin' experiment to you people?" then he placed his forehead into his arms "I can't stand it anymore!"

Snow looked at him "I already have told you, the choice is yours."

"I want the damn paper back. I don't care about anything else! I just don't want Marissa and Marcia to be... gone" Gary just couldn't say anything else, so he said slowly almost whispering "Making me feel guilty I didn't want the freakin' paper worked!"

"What's the last thing you remember before the 'nightmare' started?" Snow sat next to him on the ground.

Thinking for a moment Gary said "Uh... I was talking to a fellow who told me he wanted to thank me for handling the paper or something like that. I don't remember exactly anymore."

Snow stood up and said in a serious tone "You're lost in guilt and regret. You have to learn to accept--"

Gary asked angry "Fate? Sorry but I don't buy the whole idea about fate. It's all not fair, damn it."

Gary just sunk his face into his hands again for a while. After sometime he opened his eyes to find himself sitting on his bed. Chuck was sleeping on a chair next to the bed. Gary just stayed there on the bed he was trying hard to figure out what *really* have happened. After a  few minutes Chuck woke up too.

"I was worried about you after you sort of fainted last night. The doc said you had a nervous breakdown and that you should rest. Did you just wake up?" Chuck stood up to look outside the window.

With a null expression on his face Gary said "Yeah. I need you to drive me to the Sun-Times building, will ya?"

Entering the building, Gary was searching for Morris. After asking a few employees he was able to go on the archives to find Morris there. Everything on the archives was the way Gary remembered for a change. But Morris didn't remember about Gary though.

"Mr. Morris, do you know a man who used to work here named Lucius Snow?"

After thinking for a moment "Sure! He got famous around here because he wrote some articles even before they happened. Many people still think he was a nut case."

Gary nodded "I know how that feels. Can I look around here? I'm looking for paper articles, you see?"

"Sure. Help yourself." Morris then asked "Did you know Lucius Snow?"

While going thru some files Gary replied "Not exactly. I just read some articles he wrote."
 
Finally he found the one about Marissa. It was creepy to see in his hands the same thing he read on his early edition just it actually happened. He got distracted while Morris was trying to talk to him.

"Hey Mr. Hobson!" getting his attention back he continued "Around 4 years ago another kid came here asking questions about Snow too. Someone called Charles Fishstick...?"

"Fishman?!" Gary just couldn't believe his ears.

As Gary left the Sun-Times building in a hurry, he gave a good look to Chuck's car. It was a brand new Ferrari F50. He didn't pay attention before though. After staring at the car, he saw Chuck inside the car reading a paper.

Entering the car in a hurry, Gary demanded "When did you start getting tomorrow's paper, Chuck?"

Surprised Chuck got his attention off the paper "Wow, don't tell me you forgot about it too? It was about 4 years ago, a few months after Marissa passed out."

Gary got pale as he heard that. "Chuck, I think I finally went nuts! Everything I remember is way too differente!"

Starting the car Chuck said "Don't worry, Gar. The doctor said you could have memory problems as you're going thru a lot of stress lately."

Chuck left Gary at home. He said something like having to run some errands, it was strange to hear his speech coming from his friend. Not even entering home, Gary decided to try going to  the Blackstone Hotel one more time.

Walking thru the streets he usually used to walk, they still had the exact same look. But they didn't feel like they used to. Nothing was feeling like it used to. For Gary, everything was feeling so empty. Still he was aware he had changed, not anything else. All he could do was try to remember which was even more painful.

In a trance, lost deep inside of his thoughts walking almost like in auto pilot. He arrived to the Blackstone. Again on the lobby Gary lost himself looking around. He lost himself in thoughts again, trying to find out why everything was "different" until an employee on a desk got his attention.

"Can I help you, sir?" The young receptionist asked politely.

"Yeah. Could you please tell me who lived on the room 67 on middle 1996?"

Giving a weird look to Gary, the receptionist replied "As part of our privacy policy we can't give you this kind of information, Mr...?"

Frustrated he said "Gary Hobson. Listen, I need your help!"

"Gary Hobson?" She typed something on the keyboard on the computer next to them "The database says you rented that room for four months on 1996, sir. That's all I can tell you."

Leaving the Blackstone a cold wind blew on him. It wasn't bothering as much as before. Actually he was almost a relief to feel cold. Lifting the collar of his jacket, Gary heard a meow.  Turning around to his left he saw the cat sitting on the sidewalk next to him. "I'm not your owner anymore, go after Chuck!" Gary said as he was picking his gloves out of his pocket.

The cat then walked away. Gary tried hard to ignore the feline but he just couldn't avoid following it. As they walked for a few minutes in the cold streets Gary saw from the end of the block the cat entered McGinty's front door. Reluctant as he entered, everything was the exact same way he remembered the last time he saw it. Even the customers were the same people.

Struggling with his own doubts, he made his way to the stair case. It was like he actually could see himself on some parts of the bar on his imagination. He stopped to gaze at the window on hall way, he checked the door step for a paper. Nothing but the cat sitting there and staring at him.

"Aren't ya happy already? I'm a nut case who doesn't remember anything!" Gary took a deep breath as he placed the key on the key hole. Oddly it did work. As he entered everything was back to normal there. Even the cereal box he had left in the kitchen table was on its place. Sighing in relief Gary said out loud "It's freaking over!"

"What's is over, Gary?" He felt a chill on his spine. It was Marissa's voice behind him.

"Yeah." Gary turned around slowly "It's really you, Marissa?"

She couldn't hold her laugher "Do I look like Chuck for you? What's wrong, Gary?"

For a change Gary was happy. He got close to Marissa to hold her. As he tried his arms just got thru her. "Oh lord!" he screamed as he stepped back. "Damn it! It's just way too sick!" he ran his fingers thru his hair as he kept repeating, almost speaking to himself "not fair!" as he felt sick to his stomach.

"I know it wasn't your fault, Gary. It was my fate, that's all." Marissa just stood there, near the door of his loft.

Managing to sit on the sofa Gary arms where crossed and resting on his lap. His head was down as he was staring at the floor. Without moving Gary said silently "I'm sorry I was selfish."

"You know I hate to hear sorry--"

"It's just part of the punishment you and Marcia aren't *around* anymore. I wish I had d--..."He couldn't speak anymore as he was fighting his anger and frustration.

A silence surrounded the loft. Gary kept his eyes shut as everything was hurting deep into his soul. Gary stayed on the sofa without moving. Even the feeling of that sofa on his body was different. Regret and guilt were everything he could feel. He couldn't tell if he was cold or hungry, all he could feel was the bitterness of his own guilt consuming his soul.

"I used to be like you. That's why I died alone on the Blackstone with the cat and the paper. But you can change that, Gary. Don't forget it." Snow stared at Gary. It was possible to see by Gary's face he was suffering.

"Please, just leave me alone. I just... want... All I want is..." Gary squeezed his eyes shut trying to finish "Let me die instead of them." Tears ran down his cheeks as he got too tired to hold them back. He couldn't even stop his body from shaking.

"How would dying help you, anyway?" Marcia's voice reached his ears like a knife cutting thru his tortured soul.

After a moment trying to get a hold back on the reality, Gary said "I *cannot* live like this. I don't *want* to live like this." In a burst of anger he said "Leave me the hell alone!"

"Come on, Gary. It's not funny to play hide-and-seek with me! Are you still there?" Marissa's voice once again reached Gary's ears.

Gary opened his eyes to find himself on the McGinty's office holding the card on his hands.  Only this time it was writing "Don't get lost in regret and guilt, Gary." after a few seconds the letters just disappeared from the card as the original message appeared once again.

"I'm still here. How much time didn't I... uh... I reply to you?" Gary reached the paper on his back pocket. For the first time in his life he felt relieved to see the paper.

Thinking for a moment, she replied "A few minutes, I think. So are you going to the meeting or not?"

"You know what Marissa, I have a feeling I'd better not go to his meeting." Gary said as he placed the card on the desk and left.

*The End*

Email the author: priscila55@excite.com
 

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