by Ally McKnight

Disclaimers: All characters are sole property of Sony TriStar and CBS.

Your basic Chuck POV. His thoughts on Gary, and how much he changed.

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by Ally McKnight

It's funny. Maybe I shouldn't say that, because everything seems funny to me. Once I went to a  zoo and there were some sheep. One took a crap on it's baby's head. I laughed so hard, I wet my pants, right there in the zoo. The most embarrassing part was I was an eighth grader, and on a field trip. The whole class was right there. I think half the kids wet their pants, laughing at me wetting my pants. Okay.. moving right along now.

So this, well, it's not funny, really. It's actually pretty sad. My friend, my best friend, has changed so much.

When I first met him, he was incredibly shy, incredibly popular, and girls went crazy over him. Now, he's incredibly shy, incredibly grumpy, and most women just think he's crazy.

Gary used to be a big jokester. Even bigger than me. He had a whole drawer full of whoopee cushions, fart powder, the works. Of course, he never got caught. He was like the town's golden boy. All he had to do was flash his puppy dog eyes, and the mayor would hand over the keys to the city.

He had this fire in his eyes, always very lively, and up for anything. Gary was the kind of guy who, while still being totally responsible, could be actually very immature. I mean, even when he got into college, fart machines could crack him up to no end.

He was also very optimistic. About problems, about people. He always found the good in people. I wonder how he sees people now. After watching those people kill, rob, steal, and cheat, just to get ahead, how he does he see these people? Does he still believe that they all have goodness inside of them? Or has he become the bitter cynic that I am?

I suppose I should know these things, being his best friend and all. But I left. I left to run some stupid TV business. He'll never know why I really left. I left because he scared me, because he changed. Because nothing was the same. We couldn't just hang out anymore. Go to a movie, or play pool, it was all impossible. Because something got in the way. Either he had somebody to save, or he was too tired from saving that person. It ticked me off.

I probably sound really selfish here, and I guess I really am. But, I guess what really made me leave was that I wanted to keep the memory of he was alive. I couldn't bear to stay and see how evolving in so many ways.

A good example, is Gary's looks. He's good-looking, and all, but he looks older now. Not how you think though. Last time we went to buy beer, the guy got carded. But someone who really knows him can see it when they look into his eyes. Marissa somehow sees it, because she reads into his soul. But, me, I know him well enough to tell. His eyes have gotten harder, colder. It frightens me that he has more faith in that stupid newspaper than he does in God. You can see the pain in his eyes. The tiredness.

If you asked Gary, he'd deny everything. That's his way. The saint, the martyr. He sacrifices everything for those who have nothing. The problem is, he helps complete strangers, and forgets to ever help himself.

God, sometimes he frustrates me so much. I just want to slap him upside the head and tell him to wise up. None of the people he ever saves appreciate him, so why does he keep doing it? Do get whacked by angry ladies' purses? To get smacked by elderly people's canes? No, because he can't ignore not even one story in that stupid paper.

I wish I could just go back to Chicago, and strangle that stupid cat. He's taken away my best friend, and left someone entirely different. I suppose he can still be fun. Still play pool, and go to football games. Ha! And dress up like a quarterback and play
for the Bears, even though he was risking being paralyzed. Man, I can just picture it, Gary wheeling someone to safety. Putting out a fire with his handy dandy fire extinguisher that's built into his, 'Everyday Hero,' wheelchair.

Okay, so now I'm being mean. Let's just say it's a long day, and I need a beer. No, I need the old Gary back. The happy go lucky kid who always had his head in the clouds. He had so many dreams for the future. And then things killed them. Marcia, that two-timing, good for nothing, sleaze bag, who had 'beauty marks,' that looked like frozen puppy crap. Then the paper,
and the cat. How can I describe them? Overbearing, annoying, time consuming, energy draining.

Heck, I didn't even get tomorrow's paper, and it took the fun right out of me. Oh, I pretended to try and get a peek at the sport's scores, but I didn't care. Well at least not that much. I just wanted to start a fight, you know. See the fire come back into his eyes as he told me to cut the crap. He never did. Just slammed his hand down on the paper and told me to get
lost. I think he's the one that's lost. Lost among the pages of that stupid newspaper, that's slowly eating away at whatever flame of happiness he ever had.

I have a memory of how Gary was, before the paper, but slowly, it's fading. Now he's just.. different. Changed. That's why I have to keep away. Because I think I'd die if the old Gary just suddenly faded away.

I think I need a beer.

Email the author: coventrys@yahoo.com
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