The Immortal Trickster visits, takes different shapes and Switches
bodies of Buffy and her friends. Included are Willow, Buffy, Cordelia and
a boy called Pimples Melvin. Its set in the first year shortly after The
The characters of Buffy and her friends Belong to Josh Whedon and I am just playing with them. The Trickster belongs to us all
The Trickster Plays Musical Bodies
Synopsis: The Immortal Trickster switches bodies and takes others, spreading what he calls Sweetness and Light. He really messes up the lives of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and her friends.
The story is set in the Buffy Universe soon after the Witch episode during the first season.
The Characters of Buffy and company belong to J. Whedon and WB. I just taking them for a spin. The story is mine - the Trickster belongs to us all.
The Trickster Plays Musical Bodies
The Immortal Trickster could not believe that he'd so neglected the Hell Mouth. It would greatly augment his already vast powers and he would be better able to able to spread Sweetness and Light. He loved spreading Sweetness and Light and couldn't understand (he claimed) why there had been so many complaints about it.
He spent a few days observing the people and places. The Slayer drew him like a magnet. Yes she could so use his help. The first thing, he decided would be to put all his future victims - err his beneficiaries - at ease. Yes!
The Master glowered at the Trickster.
"You SOB! If I wasn't trapped I would rip your heart out of your body!"
"Ah, but you are trapped, aren't you?" The Trickster smiled. He assumed the Master's form and ordered the other Vampires not to trouble Buffy and her friends for a week. They slavished obyed.
Two planned on sneaking out and they rose to greet the night. When the vampires threw opened the shutters and screamed. The noonday sun streamed in. His last coherent thought before he burned away into nothing was 'How he possibly could have, thought it was night?'
The Trickster smiled his work to see. It was truly a shame, a real pity and how could it have happen? But could he be blamed if Curt was so stupid he couldn't even tell the time? Besides he was a Vampire and Vampires were so crude.
It was nine PM that day When Rupert Giles heard a soft knock on his door. Opening his door his heart did a double flip. It was Miss Calendar - Jenny - and she was dressed in a black, flowing gown that accentuated her elegant curves and when she slithered on past a totally helpless Giles he could see that it was slit up the sides exposing flashes of her lovely legs. She captured his soul with a glance from large dark eyes. He stuttered vainly trying to speak, his own eyes felt like they were ready to pot out of his head.
" Why Rupert?" she said in a sexy voice. " Anything wrong? " She touched him and her touch was like fire.
" Miss Calendar - " he stammered.
" Jenny " she corrected and kissed him lightly. " Jenny. " she murmured seductively. " Say it! I know you can. "
" Jenny " he managed to get out.
From somewhere she produced a bottle of wine. Giles had never know that wine could be opened and poured in such a seductive manner. She never took her eyes off him as they drank.
" Giles, I love you and I think you love me. Am I wrong? "
" NO! " the poor bewitched man gasped.
She nodded her head slowly. " Then enough pussy footing around. I decided I would be old and gray if I left it to you and your British reserve. So here
I am. " She stood up and her gown fluttered to the floor.
Later that night 'she' slipped out of bed and touched Giles forehead with a slim finger. " Sleep! " she commanded, shimmered and was gone.
Jenny heard and knock on the door. She was pleasantly astounded to behold Giles standing there. He took her hand.
" Miss Calendar, Jenny, I've been such a bloody fool! I can't let the chance for love - yes dash it - and happiness escape. I love you. "
Jenny smiled in happy response. I'm glad I was wrong she thought, as she moved into his arms - I thought it would take me months to drag him to this point!
Later ' Giles' touched her forehead " Sleep! " he commanded. He picked up her body and both shimmered. He laid her next to Giles and touched both their foreheads
Good, there memories would match. I so love spreading sweetness and Light! The Trickster grinned. Bemused as they will be with each other they won't be much help to the slayer. But not to worry, I will be glad to help her. That morning Giles proposed and Jenny Accepted.
The Trickster smiled as he was so happy for them both. Really he was.
The next day at school Willow ran into Buffy, who was looking unfairly
" Hi, Willow - how's it going with the X man? "
Willow sighed. Her not so secret sorrow.
" As usual, all he thinks or talks about is you about is you. "
Buffy put a sympathetic arm on her shoulder. " It will work out. "
" Oh sure, when Vampires give blood instead of take it. "
" Hey, that's funny. Believe it or not I envy you, Willow. "
" You envy me!?" the beautiful glamorous Buffy the Vampire slayer envied her - now that was a twist!
" Sure! You live a normal life. Hey, being the Slayer is a heavy burden. Both your parents are together and the school principal doesn't believe that you belong wrapped in heavy chains. "
Willow grinned. "Synder doesn't believe that. "
" Sure he does! "
" Well I'm glad you think my life is so good, that's better than nobody. "
Buffy hugged her. I've got a fab idea. We'll talk about it later."
When Willow hurried to her next classes. The figure of Buffy Shimmered into a smiling Trickster.
" Poor, girl, poor girl," he murmured sympathetically. " She so needs - as does Buffy and so many others a touch of Sweetness and Light."
Buffy rolled out of bed. Every morning for the last few days she could feel a growing 'something' something powerful and unknown moving just out of the
range of her senses. It did not feel like vampires. Indeed the nights had been unusually quiet - she had only killed two Vampires all week. She should be happy. Giles and Miss C. were finally getting it on and Giles had stopped being such a pain about duty and training. Mom complained about their lack of communication as usual which in its own way was comforting. Buffy checked herself out in the mirror. She looked great, she decided, but then she frowned. It was OK to be beautiful, but it wasn't was much fun without a boy or a MAN ( like Angel for example ) to appreciate it.
Willow was being bitched at by Cordelia, who as usual was primping herself in front of a mirror.
"Willow, you should really try and do something with yourself. You'll never attract a boy looking the way you usually do - I mean - most cats would never even drag you in looking like that. I only mean this in the kindest way"
Willow looked at her sardonically, but replied in a meek voice. " Yes I can see that. " She wondered why she couldn't be pretty like Buffy - and yet
Buffy said she envied her.
Outside the girls bathroom Willow bumped physically into Xander and her heart flipped flopped and stood still.
"HI, Willow. Have you seen Buffy? No? I just can't get her out of my mind! I guess I never will. Well - see yah. "
Willow felt her heart break for perhaps the thousand time. He never thinks of me!
'Xander' rounded the corner and shimmered into Giles. The Trickster smiled. 'While Giles and the delectable Miss C are necking in the library I think that Willow and I should have a comforting chat.'
'Giles' put a fatherly arm about Willow.
"My dear, I would like to talk to you about Buffy."
Poor Willow sank lowerinto the dumps of despair. "Of course that's all anyone wants to talk about. "
"Why Willow, you should know that Buffy is very important! She's the slayer. She's the most import person in the world. We - why we - especially you and Xander - or nothing, nothing, nothing, in comparison. "
Willow found herself nodding sadly.
" But Buffy has rather been depressed lately. Sadly she's been fighting her destiny more and more. She keeps up this nonsensical babbling about wanting to be a normal girl. You will try and cheer her up wont you? "
Poor Willow nodded even more sadly.
" Good! Excellent! You're a good egg Willow. "
" I feel like Humpy- dumpy " she murmured. " All shattered to pieces. "
'Giles' patted her on the back which made her feel more like a puppy than an important person.
Turning the corner Willow ran into Buffy.
" Hi " said a disgustingly beautiful and sexy Buffy.
" Oh - Hi " said Willow. " Giles has informed me that I am supposed to try and cheer you up, though its kind of hard to do because I'm so miserable myself. "
Buffy put her arm around her. " Poor Willow, Xander again? "
" Is there anybody else? "
" Listen up! I have an idea that may solve about our problems. Met me at my house around eight, OK? "
" Sure " said Willow, her curiosity was aroused.
" And don't tell anyone - especially that poop Giles. You know what a fussy old woman he is. " With her limitless energy Buffy bounded away. She skipped to her locker, just as the real Buffy was trying to stay awake in her last class of the day. The false Buffy slipped a note into 'her' locker.
Principle Synder uniquely snide voice said. " Cutting classes are we, Miss Summers? "
'Buffy' turned with a bright smile, which tuned into a shocked expression.
" Oh, my gosh, sir! I am reporting you to the school board and my mother! How dare you approach a sweet innocent, girl like myself without your pants or underwear on!? "
" What on earth or you talking about, Miss Summers? "
" Its no good pretending innocence ignorance. Help! Help! Disgusting pervert! "
Students and teachers, security guards came running along with some school board members. Synder looked down at himself and almost fainted. He was naked from the waist down.
" I don't understand " he muttered. " I had my pants on just a moment ago. "
He was dragged away, ungently, by a cop.
" Tell it to the Judge, you disgusting pervert! " and whacked him sharply on his naked behind with a night stick and Synder yelped.
'Miss Summers' was consoled by the board members and teachers and snickering students. The Trickster was very proud of himself. What a Princely jest!
Later the real Buffy was reading a note she found in her locker,
" Buffy, meet me at the Library at 7:30. Angel. " her young heart raced.
Meanwhile, Cordelia was making enemies in her effortless way. She stopped and laughed at a short, fat boy whose thick glasses were falling off his greasy face. He also had more pimples than should be allowed by law. When the clumsy kid grabbed at his glasses the chess pieces he was s carrying fell clattering onto the floor. Cordy laughed cruelly.
" My god! " she explained to her court and to a hall full of kids and teachers. " It's the pimples magnet, Melvin Grossberger! Careful, Pimples
you'll have to get fatter still if you want to add any more pimples on that repulsive face.
Her court obedient laughed. Melvin burned with impotent hate as he watched the beautiful, tall girl walk away.
" It wasn't fair! " he cried. " Nature and life just aren't fair! "
" No, they're not " said a extremely kindly voice. "My dear boy, let me help you. " A grandfatherly figure handed him a book with the Tittle " Demon Summing Made Easy. "
The Trickster smiled benevolently - he so loved - or so he was found of repeating - spreading Sweetness and Light.
Buffy was so excited - Angel had asked her to meet him and not in a public place like the Bronze either! True, the library was not the most Romantic place in the world, but Giles and Miss C. had clicked so she could dream that the it might have the same magic for her and Angel. He was waiting, smiling his sexy smile. ' Wait a minute, she thought - ' something was wrong! '
" You're not Angel! " she shouted.
" Of course I am! " he laughed. " Who else? "
She threw a heavy book on German History at him. He dodged.
'Angel' laughed. " Buffy, you're more perceptive than I counted on. "
" Who are you anyway? " She didn't know whether to edge closer or away.
" That would be telling, wouldn't it? Lets see if you can figure it out." He turned to go.
" You can't get away so easily! " She launched herself at him. Surprised he was knocked over Giles desk and brought down a shelf load of books. She aimed another kick at him, but he scrambled away with a smile and seemed more amused than angry as he dusted himself off. He blocked another blow.
" Very well done! Its been many centuries since anyone has socked me a good one. Well, its been fun, but I have another pressing appointment. "
As Buffy reached for him he shimmered and disappeared.
Damn him anyway! How dare he impersonate Angel! He must be trying to keep us apart! Angel must be at the Bronze. Buffy flew out the door and soon arrived at the Bronze and began searching for Angel.
At the Summer house ' Buffy ' came in smilingly sweetly at her mother,confusing the woman no end. Willow was waiting and she was led up to Buffy's room.
" Thanks for coming, Willow. You're my very best friend!"
" Thank you, Buffy. " Willow felt ashamed of her envy.
" Remember the Witch mom who switched bodies with poor Amy? "
" How could I forget? It was pretty hard to tell who was who for a while. "
'Buffy' paused dramatically. " Willow - Would you like to exchange Bodies with me? "
Hope danced in her heart. " Don't tease me, Buffy. "
" I'm not teasing. Just think Xander would be in love with you and you could do with him as you will. "
An image of Xander wrapped in her arms of her being beautiful and sexy like Buffy rose unbidden in her mind.
" It wouldn't be fair to you, Buffy - living out the rest of your life as plain old me. "
" Willow, I want to be you. I want to be an average girl and not The Slayer! Look - your parents or not divorced and they love you. I don't love Xander - you do. "
" But people will know! " God I want to be her so bad!
'Buffy' draped a friendly arm over Willow's shoulder. " That's the beauty of it. We know enough about each other to carry it off. No one will suspect a thing. Except I guess I won't be as smart as you.
Willow started to get excited. She couldn't let Buffy back out now -she could almost taste it. Wouldn't it be wonderful being the Beautiful Buffy Summers - Vampire Slayer, the most important person in the world.
" You would probably have my brain, Buffy. "
" Hey, that's right and would be stuck with my C+ one!"
Willow laughed. She would much rather have Buffy's body than to have brains. " What about killing Vampires? " Asked Willow.
" Hey a dirty job, but somebody has to do it. You would be the Slayer -
you would have all my strength and skills, but its dangerous. It
would be cool
if you didn't want to do it. I would certainly understand. "
" I didn't say that! I didn't say that ! " Willow cried excitedly. " What do we have to do? "
" I stole this book from Giles. " She handed it to Willow along with some of Buffy's hair and two dolls. They went over the spell.
What if Buffy should want to switch back! What a heart breaker, thought Willow as she took the stuff home and started casting the spells.
Still in Buffy's room and shape the Trickster smiled. That was easy. Ah, I so love spreading Sweetness and Light.
At the Bronze Buffy and Angel were discussing the impostor.
" Are you sure it wasn't a Vampire, Buffy? "
" Oh, yes! Nothing like the feel, but whatever or whomever it was I felt enormous power and when I kicked him I felt great magic like electricity flow up and fill my body. "
" But he or it didn't try and hurt you? "
" Nope he just laughed and disappeared.
" I think we need to get in touch with Giles and Miss Calendar."
Buffy laughed." Are you kidding? I don't think they thank us for interrupting what they're doing! It can wait until tomorrow. " She stared dreamily up into Angel's sexy eyes hoping to get lost in them.
Cordelia, surrounded by her usual admiring court strolled by and said " Disgusting! " she was clueless as to why Angel would prefer Buffy over her. She was far more beautiful than the Slayer - indeed more beautiful than anyone in Sunnydale and the surrounding counties.
In the poorer part of town a very pimply faced Melvin had drawn circles
and lit candles and prayed that it would work. God I sure want to make
damn Cordelia Sweat. Then there was a puff of smoke and in the circle was a scaly demon.
" All right already " whined the 'demon.' " I had to be disturbed and by
a pimply brat at that. What my mother will say to me I don't know."
Trickster was very proud of his illusion. It wouldn't have done for the boy to contact a real demon. That wouldn't have been funny at all. and it might
have spoiled his own fun.
" You're a Jewish demon? " asked an amazed Melvin.
" So why shouldn't a demon be Jewish I ask you? Something wrong with a demon being Jewish? Are you prejudice or something? "
" No, no I'm a Jew. "
" Doesn't mean you're not anti Semitic. "
" Could we please stop arguing. "
" He wants to stop arguing already. Are you sure you're Jewish? " Trickster
patted himself on the back. Perfect. It was going perfectly. Melvin was
confused he wouldn't know what he was doing and if I make a mistake in this music hall patter - well who really would know now a ' Jewish' demon
behaves. " So tell me the problem."
Melvin explained about Cordelia and how much he hated her and how unhappy he was with his pimple ridden life.
" So I thought maybe you could remove my pimples and fat and turn her into a toad or give her bad hair day or something. "
" I can better than that. Why so unimaginative? Ah, for the good old days
magicians aren't what they used to be. Solomon - now there was a wise man
except he had too many wives. They must have taken turns nagging him. Tell yah what I'm going to do "the Trickster leaned forward confidently.
Willow opened her eyes slowly; she was torn between hope and fear. ' I
am in Buffy's room!' she whispered delightedly. With enormous energy she
bonded out of bed to the full length mirror. Buffy stared back at her. Willow couldn't help preening in front of the mirror. She was so beautiful
and now Xander loved her. 'I can't wait to see him!'She blushed furiously thinking of the other things she wouldl ike to do.
Gosh! I feel strong! Curious she picked up the bed with one hand.
" Wow! " Willow cried out loud. " Before I worked up a sweat just to break a nail! "
" Buffy! " called out Mrs. Summers impatiently. " Breakfast! " Willow threw on a short robe and bounded down the stairs three at a time.
" My, but you look in a good mood for a change " said Buffy's mother surprised and pleased.
" I am! " It was going to be strange having Mrs. Summers for a parent and
she sure would miss her folks, but look what she had gained - a beautiful
sexy body and Xander's love! Now SHE was Buffy Summers - Vampire Slayer!
Later in what was now her bedroom, Willow made herself dress in the
revealing and sexy spandex outfits that Buffy habitually wore. Now she
wearing the mini outfits that Xander was idiot enough to drool over. She zipped on a pair of boots and stared in the mirror. She had to admit she
was drop dead gorgeous in them. She smiled Buffy's brilliant smile. It was nice of Buffy to switch bodies with me, she thought. I can't wait to have
Xander see me now!
Buffy woke up puzzled. She didn't remember sleeping over at Willows. What was in the coffee at the Brick anyhow? She heard Willow's Mom call
" Breakfast! "
" Willow, " Buffy murmured sleepily. " How did I get here anyway? " Her
voice sounded funny. She looked around - no Willow. " This is really weird,
she thought. She felt weak and strange. Do I have the flu or something? I wonder if I look as awful as I feel? " She staggered to the dresser mirror
and stared with horrified shock at Willow's body reflected in it. She shook her head and the Willow in the mirror did the same, her long red hair
" Oh my God! " she cried " I'm Willow! " Buffy stared around and saw the
dangling dolls and the magic book. " I can't believe it! Willow has used
black magic to steal my body! I knew she was envious of me, but I never dreamed she would go this far! What am I going to do? I've got to see
Giles! " feeling lost and strange she had a subdued breakfast with Willows folks. At least Willow's mom didn't look at her as if she was going to
sprout another head. She dressed her new body in Willow's drab clothes and went to school.
" I'm going to kill Willow for doing this to me! " she muttered defiantly.
Cordelia reluctantly opened her eyes and as was her custom, staggered sleepily
to the mirror. Even in the morning she couldn't get enough of
drinking in her Fabulous Beauty. She looked in the mirror and screamed. Melvin's pimply face stared back at her. This had to be a nightmare! She
thought and pinched herself on a plump, hairy arm. She felt pain, but still the ugly, short fat body refused to disappear. She screamed again. Melvin's
father, annoyed at being awakened came in and smacked his son.
" Shut up Melvin! "
" You don't understand! " she pleaded desperately. Instead of her melodious tones her words rushed out in Melvin's squeaky, annoying voice.
Smack again! " I don't have to understand. Now get ready for school! "
Crying, Cordelia, dressed her now short fat body in Melvin's dreadfully
unfashionable clothes. She even hated dressing this repulsive, disgusting
body she somehow found herself in. But if I am here, ready to throw up - Where was the real Melvin? she wondered.
" Oh, No! " she cried out. Was the pimply monster wearing her beautiful
body? Oh, no he'll ruin it! He has no right to it - its mine! He can't
it! I bet the little sneak is admiring my beautiful body! and I have to look at his! Somebody would pay for this! He wasn't going to get away with
Across town in a beautiful home, Melvin was doing just what Cordelia feared.
He twisted Cordelia's beautiful body this way and that in front of
her huge mirror. The demon sure hadn't played him false! He thought of Cordelia stuck in his old pimply body and how he was going to do the
tormenting now Yes, the shoe certainly was on the other foot. Cordelia's cruel smiled appeared on the lovely face he now possessed. This was going
to be fun. He smiled again at himself - then he snickered. I think I need a shower, he thought. and he grinned at thought of laying hands on this
beautiful body! This was going to be fun!
The Trickster smiled. Ah, I so love spreading sweetness and light!
Later Melvin took great pleasure in dressing and admiring the results in
the mirror. He was drop dead gorgeous! He smiled Cordelia's brilliant smile
in the mirror. Look out world here comes the new Cordelia. Another happy thought came to him - now I even have a car - a BMW at that. The thought of him driving to school while Cordelia had to walk on his flat feet increased his pleasure to new heights. He skipped lightly down stairs and was served
breakfast by the maid.
Willow in Buffy's bouncing body bounded excitedly towards school. Never
hadt he sun ever seem so bright, never had the air been so fresh, never
had the birds song seemed so sweet. She smiled delightedly thinking on
how she was going surprise Xander with a burning kiss and a ' Thank you,
for saving me!'
That should do the trick! She still couldn't believe Buffy was willing to exchange her beautiful body and exciting meaningful life for Willow's drab one. Never look a gift horse in the mouth, her grandmother had always said. True, she frowned it would be dangerous - Vampires, Vampires everywhere lucking behind every tombstone, thirsty vampires lusting for the blood of the slayer. It wasn't always going to easy being the slayer, but as Willow rationalized to herself - I would
hardly be in more danger than I am been as a slayerette and at least now I can defend myself.
She whirled her strong and agile new form into a series slayer kickerss. POW! BIFF BAM! BOOM! " Willow cried. Wow! she felt so inhumanly fast and so strong - like she could kick down a door or break Principle Snyder in half. It was too cool to have him in jail for indecent exposure!
Meanwhile Buffy in Willow's body felt like she was walking with her feet
stuck in Molasses. She had tried to run, but got exhausted right away. What
a come down for someone who for a lark had run past a startled race horse
and the animals unbelieving jockey when they were going all out. Sweat got in her eyes.
My God there was her - her body I mean bouncing effortless along. I am
going to kill Willow! Buffy thought.
Willow spotted Xander. His mouth was hanging open as usual as he watched
'Buffy's' approach. Poor dear. Well at least this Buffy would return his
love not that Willow had wanted Buffy to do it before she was Buffy. God
this was all so confusing. She bounded up to Xander: took his startled face
in her hands and kissed him with all the pent up passions of a lonely,
" Buffy, you've set me on fire! "
Willow just giggled.
" Surprised you huh, We'll I've been doing a lot of soul searching - You
rescued me and you know Princesses always fall in love with their
" In love? " he squeaked.
" Yep, " Willow said in her best Buffy Imitation. ' You don't mind, do
"Mind, mind?, mind? who me - I mean mind - ha, ha mind? I don't - I mean"
" Silly " she stopped his babbling with another searing kiss and was
satisfied to see he all but practically melted at her feet. Willow felt so
warm, so alive, so full filled. Xander was hers at long last! - Well
Buffy's anyway and now she was Buffy. I can't ever go back! she thought. It
would totally break my heart. But she smiled brightly at Xander, took his
arm and led the poor bemused, captured man into school.
So absorbed were they in each other they didn't notice passing right by
poor, forlorn looking, rather plain girl with long red hair. She looked at
any moment like she was going to cry. They didn't even notice me, Buffy
thought bitterly. Willow steals my body and she doesn't even apologize -
some friend she is! With very unwilling and faltering steps Buffy went to
her first class. It cheered her up a little to answer all the questions on
the surprised quiz in Math correctly. Buffy had never gotten a hundred in
anything before. She left and bumped into the false Buffy! Buffy turned
Willow's fingers into claws God! I would like to scratch her eyes out! Then
Willow was hugging her old body.
Willow has the hypocrisy to hug her,' thought Buffy amazed.' God, but It
was weird to be touched by yourself.'
"Thanks again, Buffy for trading Bodies with me! " gasped a happy Willow,
her now Buffy blue eyes sparkling.
Buffy was almost crushed by the strength of her former slayer's body's
and could hardly breathe. ' I can't believe it, but its true - here I am
and here Willow is, but damn it! She has my bod and I am in this pathetic
thing she called home and used to drag around. The nerve and sarcasm her so
called best friend had to actually dare to thank her - as if she had been
willing to trade! And to put cream and a cherry on the ice cream Willow was
trying to intimidate her with all the strength of the slayer. It was too
much. Buffy felt like throwing up.'
" Anytime! " she said with a voice dripping with sarcasm ' My body is your
body - just make yourself at home! " The happy thought of roasting Willow
like a marshmallow caused her smile.
Willow was far to happy to notice the nasty tone in Buffy's voice - or
rather in Willow's old voice. She was not to blame as Willow's voice was so
used to being nice or noncommittal that it had a hard time projecting '
nasty' with any degree of success. Xander came hurrying up and squeeze who
he thought was Buffy.
"Hi Willow " he said to Buffy. " See you. "
Off they went. Buffy watched them walk away.
' It is really weird to see yourself, my beautiful body - just walking
away leaving me trapped in Willow's drab, weak little body.
' Buffy was
surprised to find herself wishing that some vampire would get Willow in the neck. She checked herself. That wouldn't be good - not good at all - for
anyone Just think how my poor mother would feel. But Willow was in for a shock if she thought Buffy's life was all cookies and milk. Wait for those
midnight patrols. Sneaking through wet graveyards was hardly the treat it might look to outsiders! And she'll be bored stiff with all those lectures
and training sessions with Giles! They were almost as exciting as watching grass growing! And if the traitor Willow - the new and proud Slayer thinks
I am meekly going to be a slayerette - she's got another thought coming. And Angel? What was she going to say to Angel? or would Willow try and hog
him, too? I wouldn't put anything past the little sneak! ' Buffy thought darkly.
"Soon as advance Comp is over I'll go and see Giles. He'll believe me."
Buffy muttered. She Brightened. It wasn't hopeless - after all Giles had
managed to get Amy her real body back. He had, just had to do the same for her! Just you wait, Willow, just you wait! You sneaky little ' Buffy found
the word she wanted to use wouldn't come to Willow's lips. Anyway when I get my body back, Rosenberg, I'm going to put you in traction! The thought
of breaking both Willow's legs put Buffy in a much cheerier state of mind. A murmur of voices came from behind her. She turned and saw Cordelia and
her usual admiring court coming her way.
Cordelia's beautiful face wore a more than usual smug, superior smile.
She was dressed even more alluring than usual. I wonder what's the occasion?
Oh, well, you gives a flying leap about Cordelia?
' Try it, you'll like it' his friend the Jewish Demon had told Melvin.
Well he had tried it and did he ever like it! He loved the
shower! he loved looking
in the mirror admiring his beauty, especially thinking what that snotty Cordelia was seeing when she looked in a mirror. He loved the expensive
house he now lived it, and driving Cordelia' car - Wow! When the cop pulled him over all he had to do was smile and the guy just melted - now that's an
easy way to get out of a ticket! Melvin loved the attention - all the admiring looks. He felt all he had to do was crook his little finger and all the jocks who had pounded him would just roll over and beg. He loved how his new friends hung admiringly on every word, every graceful gesture. What a great life he had. His wide beautiful lips that used to belong to Cordelia smiled cruelly. Rushing towards him was his old self - as full as pimples as ever. Cordelia's graceful body shuddered.
Melvin thought. ' How could he ever managed to live in such a repulsive body! ? '
"Well if it isn't the pimple magnet, everyone. Don't get too close - they might be contagious! " he said in Cordelia's melodious voice.
Everyone laughed loudly.
Cordelia flushed. This was hell! And her flat feet hurt. Well Mevin wasn't
going to get away with it! He wasn't going to steal her beautiful body!
That's all there as to it! Her friends would help her force the bastard to give it back. Angrily she jumped at her former self and looked up at what
used to be her face, that Melvin had the nerve to use to grin patronizingly down at her. She grabbed the slender arms and started shaking Melvin, the
" Give it back you thief! Give me back my body! "
" Help! " cried ' Cordelia' to her throng. " This crazy boy is hurting me! "
Two huge football linemen were eager to show off. Ham like hands ripped Cordelia away from her old body.
"OK Pimples, you asked for it! " they said. And started pounding Cordelia
to a jelly. Cordelia's hated new glasses fell to the floor and as she
grouped for them she saw a beautiful high heeled foot and lovely long leg cruelly kicking them away. Staring up through a haze she saw her old face
smiling her own cruel smile at her.
The trickster though it time to intervene. After all he didn't want Cordy
killed. He took the form of the assistance Principle and called out: "
What's going on here? "
The two boys startled guilty.
" Are you students beating up somebody, you know you shouldn't do that.
" It's just pimples Melvin. "
" Oh, " said the Trickster thoughtfully. " Just Pimples. Well, I suppose if it just pimples its OK. "
Cordelia flushed indignantly.
" But, try and not to make a mess in the hall " the Trickster continued.
All the kids laughed and one even went so far as to hand Cordelia Melvin's glasses.
" Cordelia, lets go we will be late for cheerleader practice " said Cordelia's best friend to Melvin.
' Cordelia' Smiled at the battered pimple face staring hopeless up at her.
" By, By Pimples, " she cooed " Don't do anything I wouldn't do. " She
her court vanished and former Cordelia heard her old self thanking those brutal boys for saving her from the crazy Melvin. Life was so unfair, she
The Trickster smiled with satisfaction. He so liked spreading sweetness
and Light and couldn't understand, or so he often said, why their had been
many complaints about it.
Trickster as usual was very satisfied with himself. He gazed at the jail
where Principle Synder was being whacked by both by the inmates and
the guards, as nobody like a sneaky little pervert who exposes himself to young girls. Nobody believe his story that his pants mysteriously just
disappeared. The trickster took the form of a large guard and whacked him one, also.
This is fun, he thought as he heard Synder howl, but I've got to get back
to the high school. Buffy will be wanting to talk to Giles and librarians
are so busy I will spare him the encounter.
Buffy, as fast as Willow's body could carry her headed towards the Library.
She noticed that everyone was ignoring her now. No more boy magnet, she
thought sadly. I'll get Willow for this if I have to go to the Supreme Court! There's got to be a major law against body stealers!
The real Giles was making out with Jenny in some nook and cranny. So the
Trickster had the Library to himself. Buffy burst in, Willow's face red
with anger and exertion.
" Hello, Willow " said the Trickster looking like Giles.
"I'm not Willow! You've got to help me! "
'Giles' pushed back his glasses and smiled indulgently. " Some new Computer game, Willow? "
Buffy pounded her fist on the desk. " Ow! that hurt. " Her strength was gone - that sneak Willow had it.
" Control yourself, dear "
" Control myself, do you know what Willow has done - she's stolen my body
I'm Buffy! "
"Really, now Willow , I don't have time for these silly games. "
" Damn it, Giles. Like Amy's mother, Catherine, she stolen my slayer's body and left me with this pathetic little thing! "
'Giles' smiled " Now Willow -
Before he could finish. Buffy looked hard at Giles. "You're not Giles. "
"Of course, I am, Willow dear. "
She shook Willow's head and the long red hair whipped into her eyes. Angrily she thrust it back.
" No - you're the same man or thing that tried to impersonate Angel last
night. You ought to be ashamed of yourself! "
" What nonsense is this! "
" You're good, I'll give you that - like Indiana Jones - you're very good, but you're not Giles. I just know it. "
The Trickster laughed. " I'm impressed Buffy. I haven't been so impressed in hundreds of years. " He smiled at her - full of sweetness and light.
"Where's Giles? What have you done with him you monster!? "
" You hurt me Buffy - do I look like a monster? Giles and Miss Calendar are behind the bushes - necking conducting themselves in a most shameful fashion. "
Buffy tried not to be afraid, but she was in Willow's weak body now and its hard to be brave when you're not even yourself and somehow she know what was facing her was very, very dangerous.
" Who are you? "
The Trickster laughed and his laughter was nothing like Giles or any human
being could produce and Buffy shuddered and laughed at the same time. She
couldn't help herself.
"That would be telling. Its for me to know and you to find out - if you can. "
" Make that little - ( No words adequate for the occasion came to her )make Willow give me back my body!"
He smiled and his teeth would have made a great white shark green with envy, " Now, now you wouldn't want to make poor Willow unhappy, would you? "
" Yes, I would the little B - " suddenly Buffy broke off. A light dawned in Buffy's eyes. She had Willow's brain working overtime.
"Wait a minutes! You tricked her, too didn't you? I bet you impersonate
me and told her I wanted to switch. That explains so much! She was sincere
when she thanked me. Willow would never steal my body! "
" Impressive. Right, right on all counts. Now what are you going to do
about it? "
For a moment Buffy was taken aback. What was she going to do about it?
" Willow, Giles and I will get the book and the dolls and reverse the
"An excellent plan! Now can it fail? I congratulate you. Now if you will
excuse me - I have other calls on my time - Individuals must not monopolize
what is meant for the world! " He was gone except for a Cheshire cat like smile that lingered for a moment then faded into nothingness.
" I'll show you! " Buffy muttered " no one can come in here and push me
around! Giles! where are you! You can't find a watcher when you need them!
Melvin felt a little ashamed of himself. True Cordelia had certainly deserved
it, but just because she was mean - did he have to be? It wasn't
him. " He squared Cordelia's lovely shoulders. " I'm not going to mean anymore," He-she vowed. " The world is going to see a kinder, gentler
Cordelia. I'm going to use my beauty for the betterment of mankind. "
Melvin nodded Cordelia's lovely head in satisfaction and skipped off to
cheering leading practice looking extremely alluring. All the male eyes
hall watched her go. What a babe! They all thought.
Meanwhile the real Cordelia was helpless and horrified - she was actually
playing chess at the chess club meeting. How could anyone sink so low?
wonder wiping away tears from her pimply face.
Buffy found Giles and Jenny strolling arm and arm down the halls
together, obvious to anyone else in the world. They actually bumped into
" Sorry Willow, " said Giles and Miss C together.
" I'm not Willow " said Buffy groaning. I guess I have to explain the whole
Meanwhile, Xander was following ' Buffy' with his tongue hanging out and
Willow had a smug expression of Buffy's face. Every once in awhile she
turned and patted his cheek and he melted right in front of her.
" This is great! " she thought. " I just can't thank Buffy enough! " A
bully bumped into them and without thinking about it Willow used Buffy's
slayer strength to brush him aside like a puppy.
His friends turned on him in a flash. " Real tough guy - even a little girl pushes you around. "
The tough guy was looking like his world had crumbled. Maybe his mother was right and he should eat a good breakfast in the morning?
Giles thought for a moment. " You're right! The book and the dolls should
reverse the spell. I'll give you a pass. Run home - Willow's home and bring
them back here. When the science lab is free will reverse the spell.
"Take my car!" said Jenny.
" Right! "
" I'll try and find your body, Buffy and tell Willow what has happened " Said Miss Calender.
" It will be hard on her " said Giles.
"Tough! " said Buffy unsympathetically. " She should have known better! "
Giles and Jenny exchanged glances. It was plain Buffy was still miffed and rather unforgiving.
" Who do you think this being is? " asked Giles brightly.
" My afraid to find out " said Jenny.
" Let's go! Lets' go! " said Buffy impatiently. " We can worry about that latter! "
" Right you are! " said Giles, bullied.
The trickster grinned. His victims - or rather the ones he had helped -
he corrected himself - were fighting back. Excellent. It was always better
if they did - much more sport.
It was sure nice of Ms Calendar to lend me her car, thought Buffy still imprison in Willow's body. It would have taken me months to run home in
this puny little body. She dashed up stairs and into Willow's room. She looked around Gone! Damn it! the dolls and the book are gone! No wonder
that horrible - what ever it was - he had looked so smug when she said she was going to get the book and the dolls. Then to congratulate her on a good
plan! Somehow I'm going to give playback time! She spied a note. It read:
' I took the book and the dolls this morning. I thought I would help by tiding up. I so like to be helpful and make the world a better, finer
place.' A Friend.'
A fiend, more likely! Buffy tried to curse, but Willow's body and brain wouldn't let her. This added to her frustration and she laid down on
Willow's bed and cried for fifteen minutes. The, feeling a little bit better Buffy considered her options over milk and cookies with Willow's
Mom. Buffy wolfed them down. Mrs. Rosenberg did make good cookies even if she had a ditz who took other peoples bodies for a daughter The courage that was at base of Buffy's soul rose back to the surface.
She would ask Angel if he had any ideas. Giles certainly didn't when she called him after discovering the thief of books and dolls.
" I'll look it up " was all he said.
The man looked everything up so much I wonder that he doesn't have a permanently crooked neck!
Synder's lawyer kept looking at his watch." Yes, Yes " he said testily." You don't how your pants and underwear disappeared. As your lawyer I must
warn you that denial only works if there is no - or at the most one witness. The entire school board and half the student Body saw you exposing
yourself to that young student. The best we can hope for is for you is to claim temporally insanity and throw yourself on the mercy of the court. We
will try job strain - the last principle was eaten alive was he not? I might get off with six months - eight at the outside, at hard, humiliating labor. "
" But you don't understand I've got to get out of here! The guards and other prisoners beat me as regularly as if I were a gong! "
His lawyer thought. ' I don't blame them - you repulsive little toad. '
" Times up " said the Trickster.
The lawyer rose and whispered to the 'guard.' " Give him a good whack for me, will you? " and slipped him twenty dollars.
" My pleasure, sir " replied the Trickster. Easy Money, he thought to himself.
At the Library - Giles wrote out one word - Trickster? Then picked up a book on the ancient Summerians.
" Pist! Pist! " whispered Cordelia imprisoned in Pimples Melvin to her old self. She was going to grovel to Melvin, anything to get her old body and
life back. He ignored her! " Pist! Pist! "
The new Cordelia thought this horrible uncouth and attempted to ignore the repulsive figure. " Pist! Pist! " whispered the squeaky voice desperately.
" Pist! Pist! "
Inside Cordelia Melvin felt her patience evaporate. Melvin's resolve to be a nice Cordelia was gone for the moment.
" Look, its Pimples Pissing in the corner! "
Her court laughed.
" Want us to beat him up again? " asked a football player hopefully smacking his fist.
' Cordelia' considered for a moment while the real Cordelia almost pissed in Melvin's ugly pants.
" No, he's more to be pitied then censured! Now Melvin, stop bothering me! You live your life and let me live mine! "
" Buts its my life you're living " Muttered Cordelia under her breath as watched her beautiful former body walking gracefully away and holding hands
with her boyfriend, Eric! What have I ever done to deserve this? - So I once wore white after labor day - is that any reason to be stuck as Pimples
Melvin? She wondered.
Willow sighed. It was nice to be Buffy, but she missed her old brains. Geometry was such a pain! and she didn't like school as much as she once
did. But to keep from feeling sorry that she had switched all she had to do was look at Xander's adoring face or glance in a mirror, She had a date
tonight with him! A real Date! We're doing out to eat and then dance at the Bronze. She worried a little bit about the dancing, but she instinctively
felt that now that she had Buffy's body she could dance up a storm! Tonight would be the night of her dreams! Who knows, maybe later - she flushed and her pulse quickened thinking about what might happen later. A frown momentarily creased Buffy's pretty face. " If anyone tried to take any Xander away from me - I just don't know what I would do. " Without thinking her hands gripped and splintered the wooden desk top.
The Trickster smiled his work to see. With a singular lack of success he tried a sentimental sign. " Joy reigns supreme, sweetness and light are
Miss Calendar hurried along the school corridor. She had to find Willow or rather Buffy - or rather Willow in Buffy's body. Its so confusing. The real
Buffy in my car is driving to get the magic books from Willow's house to reverse the spell and I've got to prepare and let Willow know about the
Trickster and that Buffy never wanted to exchange bodies with her. Its going to hard on the poor girl - having to give up Xander's love - let
alone that pretty body. Her eyes lit up. Bouncing along towards her came Buffy's body. Miss Calendar rushed up.
" I need to talk to you! "
" Hi, Miss Calendar "
The girl's her blue eyes sparked and her smile was happy. Miss Calendar hated to do this - destroy poor Willow's happiness. There was little enough
of happiness in Willow's life.
" I know you're really, Willow. "
The girl frowned. " I didn't' think we were supposed to tell anyone - that was the plan.
" Listen .... " Miss Calendar explained about the Trickster and what had happened. Buffy's former perky face frowned.
" I don't believe you! "
" What? "
" You heard me! " using great strength she pushed Jenny away.
"Buffy is just trying to go back on our agreement! Too bad! Xander loves me now ! I'm not giving that up! Never! "
" But, Willow - "
" Don't But Willow me! From now on you better call me Buffy if you know what's good for you and good for Giles. I can slay more than Vampires you
Miss Calendar was horrified. " Willow, you wouldn't! "
" Maybe, maybe not - all I'm saying is that you better let me and Xander alone - and tell that to Willow. . . Now what's my name? " With slayer
strength she grabbed the teachers arm and squeezed, leaning forward dangerously.
Tears came to Miss Calendar's eyes.
" Well? What's my name - who am I? "
The pressure increased and Jenny thought the girl would break her arm. "You're Buffy! " The deadly pressure eased.
The lovely young faced smiled at her winningly.
" Good, and what are you going to tell Xander? "
" Nothing, nothing at all! "
" And if Willow tried to start a lie about being me, what are you going to say?"
" That you're Buffy and she's crazy! " Miss Calender was terrified. She really thought Willow might be desperate enough to kill them all.
The lovely smile widened. " Excellent! Oh, you might remind Willow that it would be a real shame, a real Greek tragedy - if something bad would happen to Mrs. Sommers - but as long as she's my mother she has nothing to fear. "
Miss Calender's. grew even more frightened. " You wouldn't? "
The innocent young face opposite her smiled again.
" Wouldn't I? " she laughed. " But I'm sure when you tell Giles and Willow about our little chat that nothing bad will happen to my mother or to
anyone else " she laughed gaily " Except vampires of course. Nice talkin' to yah! I'm glad our little gab fest has cleared the air! Give my best to
Giles. " With a smile a wave the girl bounced happily away.
Terrified, Jenny, bolted back to Library and pulled Giles out of a book about the Ancient Summerians.
" How did it go? " asked Giles innocently.
She told him how it went - and then added an editorial comment.
"She just might do it - she's obsessed both with Xander's love and her new body! "
Giles hugged her. " You poor dear. What you must have went through! "
It was nice to snuggle, she thought. Then Giles pulled away.
" Darling, are you sure it was Willow you talked to and not the Trickster?"
Miss Calendar Went pale. " Oh, my God! "
Giles nodded excitedly." Exactly! It doesn't sound much like Willow , does it. "
" No, but it might be something she would do - Giles you're a man - you don't know what a jealous, desperate woman will do to keep her man. She
herself doesn't know how she might react if somebody was trying to take him away from her. "
" Are you saying that it was Willow? "
" No. What I'm saying is - we can't be sure - we can't be sure who anybody is. "
The Trickster, watching was very pleased with himself
" What a supper genius I am!" he said complacently.
Giles and Jenny were terrified at the implications.
" You're right! " cried Giles.
She looked hard at him. " Are you Giles? "
He smiled and took her in his arms and kissed her. Her instincts told her that it was her man and she responded.
" Time to shake everything up a little " thought the Trickster. He concentrated and reached out and taped the powers of the hell mouth
conveniently at hand and the School building - indeed the whole town shook, "
" Earth quake! " screamed thousands of voices.
Giles smiled at his lover. " Did the Earth move for you, as well my Sweetie UmpKins? "
Jenny smiled at Giles and gripped his arms. " Yes, my dear, but I think we better get out of here, we're having an earth quake! "
" Oh," said an embarrassed Giles.
The jail cracked open and a bewildered Principle Synder found himself blinking in the sunlight. The Trickster gave him one good whack on the
bottom for luck which propelled him into to swaying streets.
People from everywhere came running our carrying what ever was most precious to them, One man came out carrying his bowling trophies while a
fuming wife followed.
Willow scurried around the trembling building looking for Xander. She found him trapped beneath rumble. With slayer's strength she hurled the debris
from his sweet body and pulled him to safety.
" Are you all right? " she asked anxiously.
" I am now! " he said kissing her. " How can I ever thank you, Buffy. "
A relieved Willow thought. I can't believe he said anything so corny! She giggled - what an opening. She grinned at him. " Oh, I'll think of
She carried Xander from the building at a run.
A terrified Cordelia cried out for help. Everyone ignored her. She was mortified to see the everyone falling all over themselves to help that
rotten little body stealer. She heard her old melodious voice:
" Thank you everyone! Now lets go out and help those less fortunate then ourselves! "
Cordelia thought she was going to gag. " How up chuck! "
Buffy was knocked violently to the ground by the tremor, half unconscious she saw Willow's Mom looking anxiously at her.
" I'll save you, Willow. " And with the strength that mother's sometimes have in an emergency she managed to help her ' daughter' to safety.
The Vampires below ground had their rest rudely interrupted by the tremors and were at first inclined to grumble and be peevish and whine about being
disturbed. Then it dawned on them ( of course they would never had use such a word, grinned the Trickster ) that there would be easy pickings outside
tonight - with so many homeless and confused food containers milling about.
The Trickster smiled contentedly.
" Ah, it's so nice to be able to spread Sweetness and Light.
'Cordelia' inspired the high school kids - everywhere they were helping earth quake Victims. The Press and TV cameras were making a big deal of
Local High school beauty being an Angel of Mercy. The real Cordelia ground Melvin's crooked teeth watching everyone fussing over the vile impostor.
She over heard Eric talking to the false Cordelia:
" Baby, you have made me so hot I'll die if we don't have some wild and crazy Sex! "
Melvin, inhabiting Cordelia's flesh had a few drinks after the rescues and found this body melting towards Eric. It was the first time anyone had even
hinted at wanting to have sex with me - true she used to think Eric was an super jerk and I am in Cordelia's body - but no one's perfect! " She found
herself melting into Eric's arms.
Peeking around trees Cordy watched as her old boyfriend took a blushing giggling 'Cordelia 'into a hotel.
She banged Melvin's head against the largest tree she could find.
The new Cordelia was a little nervous 'she' never had sex before. And now 'her' first time would be in Cordelia beautiful body. NO, scratch that,
Melvin thought. In my beautiful body. And was she ever on fire. Saving people made a person excited, no doubt about that! Looking into the mirror of the hotel room the person who had once been Melvin smiledsmugly at the beautiful girl in the mirror. "I can have an guy I want, she thought. The feeling of power was a real turn on! Eric came back with he champagne. First time for this too, thought the new Cordelia and startled slowly undressing with a tantalizing smile. Eric just stared unbelieving at how beautiful she was. Putty in my hands, putting in my hands. Thought 'Cordelia'. God did his kisses feel good - first time she had been kissed. but then the best was yet to come she instinctively knew - the best was yet to come. She giggled and let Eric to the waiting bed.
I should really just slit my wrists, thought the former Codelia Morosely. Then the dirty rotten body stealer would be sorry. No check that, the
rotten Melvin would be delighted to be rid of me. I am now going to give her the satisfaction!
A very nervous Willow waited at the Summer house for Xander. She hoped that Xander wouldn't let a little thing like an earthquake keep him from taking
her out! For the hundredth time she checked her appearance I the mirror. Buffy had never looked better if she did say so herself. Willow had forced
herself to wear Buffy's sexiest outfit fit and had practiced walking in the high heeled boots. When the door bell rang she jumped and Buffy's body
carried her so high her head brushed the ceiling. 'Her' Mom called.
" Xander is here, dear "
Play it cool! " Willow commanded herself. She didn't hit a single step as she flew down the stairs.
When Xander kissed her and told her he loved her she was so happy she thought her heart would burst through her breast. "Thank you Buffy! " she
breathed to herself.Later they were a little surprised to find the Bronze open, but its owner wouldn't let a little thing like an earthquake interfere with making a buck. The joke around the school was that he was a Fregari from Star Trek.
Willow found that in Buffy's body she was the queen of the dance floor. Everyone's eyes were on her.
Angel came in and walked towards them, smiling at whom he naturally assumed was Buffy. Xander giggled apprehensively. Willow squeezed his hand
" We need to talk Buffy. "
Willow with Buffy's grace followed him to a quiet corner.
" The Vampires are coming out in Force tonight, Buffy - I'm surprised you have not felt all the movement? "
Willow started. She reached out with Slayer senses. They were like a dark cloud, a shadow on her mind.
" I guess with the earth quake and all I haven't being paying them enough attention. Angel, I have something to say. Please don't be angry, but I'm
seeing Xander. Ever since he saved my life I have found myself more and more drawn to him. I tried to fight it, because I knew Willow loved him, but - "
Angel's face grew gaunt and more than a little hint of the beast within showed through. He grabbed her roughly. Angered, Willow using slayer
strength threw him off.
" Control yourself Angel, you knew any relationship between was hopeless. I'm alive and you're dead! I hope we can still be friends."
" Woman haven't changed over the century's - they always stabbed men in the heart with the same stake ' I hope we can still be friends! ' "
Xander with his usual tack came up and slapped Angel on the back babbling about no hard feelings, best man one and all that. Angel turned on him and
started to change, Willow spun him around.
" If you touch him. I'll kill you " she said quietly.
Angel looked from one to the other. His heart break was in his eyes, but what could he say. Buffy was right - she and Xander were alive and he was
dead. Never had he felt deader than he had at this moment.
" Buffy, will you do me a favor and take that stake you have in your hand and drive it into my heart. Believe me, it would be a kindness. "
The three stared at each other and Angel brushed past them and out into the night.
The Trickster watched the scene with satisfaction. He so loved spreading sweetness and light.
" Xander, the Vampires are out in force tonight. I have to go. "
" I'm coming with you - at least I can watch your back. "When Buffy let him come he knew that she really loved him.
The two melted into the shadows - Willow felt her heart in her mouth. It was one thing to talk about being the slayer, but to creep about hunting
Vampires went beyond excitement and into to Terror. But she had to do it! No one else could and she had promised Buffy faithfully to carry on. Her
prenaturally acute hearing heard a rustle.
Instinctively she whirled and jumped right over two attacking Vampires. Surprised they tried to turn. She spun and kicked them both in the spine
and then stakes were both her hands and she drove them home. The vampire on the right crumbed away into the forever dark, but she missed the heart on the other as it slid off a rib. The other slashed out at her she dogged nimbly back, but he did mange to rip her pretty outfit, which made her livid. He turned and leaped on Xander, hoping to use him as a shield. But Xander squirmed away from the wounded demon and this time Willow's stake found the heart. " Sorry, Xander " she breathed. " Are you all right? "
He nodded. He almost had pissed in his pants. It wasn't like Buffy to miss like that. I guess she's really upset about Angel. He then looked
appreciatively at the exposed flesh on the lovely body before him. Vampires weren't all bad he thought. They picked up one of the stashes of stakes
Buffy always hid around the graveyard.
" Once, More into the breach, dear friends once more. '
" Why Buffy I never heard you quote Shakespeare before! "
Willow giggled nervously. She had to watch it. Killing vampires was one thing, but she could let herself lose control of Buffy's persona.
" I guess I've been hangin with Willow too much. "
Xander nodded. " I have to watch it, too. If I'm not careful some of that culture and learning will rub off on me, as well."
Willow grinned and shook Buffy's head. Same old Xander, she thought. With a stake in each hand she stepped out into the night.
Willow dispatched three more Vampires before Midnight and the rest crawled back into the dens, afraid of the dread slayer. One of the human's she
rescued was 'Pimples' .
" Buffy, its me Cordelia "
Willow was too busy to pay attention as she staked a fat, middle aged Vampire to the heart. They must be scrapping the bottom of the barrel to
make that tube of lard a Vampire, she thought. But being Buffy was certainly exciting - I just hope I live through it. It was a chilling
thought. She ignored a squeaky 'Melvin' and came up and hugged Xander desperately.
" Hold me, hold me! "
Xander was glad to oblige. Then she raised her lips and he kissed her and she returned the kiss passionately. Arm and arm they walked away together.
Buffy's mother was out of town and they snuck up to Buffy's bed room. Shyly Willow disrobed. Xander tripped all over himself undressing in such a
hurry. Thump! He crashed to the floor.
" Oh my God! Your mother will make up for sure! "
She silenced his worries with a kiss.
" Be quiet, my love, " she murmured, snuggling against him. " I made sure she'd be out of town tonight!"
"Buffy! You little flirt! " he laughed. Then as they climbed into bed He smiled and said., thinking of her slayer strength. " Be gentle. "
She laughed throatily. She was so happy. She never thought this night would ever come accept in her dreams.
With a mild conclusion Buffy, trapped in Willow's body, slept a drugged sleep. Giles was looking through his books and Miss Calender was doing computer searches on the word the Trickster.
The Trickster was satisfied - mostly. Only a few unimportant people had been attacked by the Vampires. Willow was in bed with Xander and Buffy was
wallowing in misery. The only thing that wasn't working out as he thought was Melvin. He had confidence that Pimples would turn completely into
Cordelia - maybe even being nastier than she had ever been. True, he was having sex with Cordy's boyfriend and Cordelia was broken heart and
hopeless- but the little idiot was not taking advantage of what he had been given, instead of being a unfeeling, selfish beauty - the Trickster was
horrified to note that Melvin actually was spreading Sweetness and Light!
Still with a headache Buffy sat reading the Morning paper with her - or rather Willow's mom. Don't give up or get too comfortable, she chided
" My God! " Buffy explained.
" What is it dear. "
Buffy passed over the paper which showed Cordelia actually getting dirty helping people trapped by the earthquake. She frowned. It was so unlike
" What a beautiful girl! " said Mrs. Rosenberg. " Do you know her, Willow? "
" Yes " said Buffy without enthusiasm.
" It's strange, " said her current parent. " That you're still going to have school to day - even after the earthquake. "
" They don't get money for earthquake days, Mom " said Buffy. " You know its money, money, money by the pound. "
Mrs. Rosenberg looked at her daughter oddly. " You're usually not so cynical, Willow. "
Buffy started guiltily. Got to watch myself, she thought. I am now that sap Willow who goes along with schemes to steal my best friend's body! Buffy
thought unforgivenly. She put a determined look on Willow's face I'll get that Trickster if its the last thing I do! I wonder if Giles and Miss Calender
have come up with anything useful?
" Got to go, Mom, see you and Dad after school. "
" Don't let the building fall in on you, dear. If it looks dangerous call me and I'll come and get you. "Oh, by the way, I haven't seen Xander
lately. Is anything wrong between you, too? "
" He's mooning after Buffy " said Buffy bitterly.
" Oh, well don't worry someday he realize a pretty face isn't everything, Willow."
" I wouldn't bet on it! " said Buffy. Got to drag this miserable excuse for a body to school.
Principle Synder was on the run, everyone's hand was turned against him. His picture was up in Post Offices around the county. He was searching,
searching desperately for the one arm man who could prove his innocence. One kind stranger who had given him shelter and food had told him that a
one armed man, a stage magician, had removed his pants and could clear him. He had tried to thank the stranger, but the man had struggled it off only
" I love spreading sweetness and light. "
So now former Principle Synder was searching, desperately searching for the one armed man who could prove his innocence.
Cordelia almost threw up when she read the papers and when she saw the adulation that the false Cordelia was getting at school. Then from the way
that Eric was looking at her former self, she did go to the bathroom and lose her cookies. It was obvious that her boyfriend had gotten laid. She
couldn't believe it! Melvin had the nerve to use her fabulous flesh for sex!
The new Cordelia had never been so happy. It was hard to remember ever being Melvin. She wished that pimples would just have the decency to stay
out her sight so she wouldn't ever be remind of her horrible past life. She kissed Eric with loving enthusiasm. He was so handsome! But she wasn't ready to get married. To many guys want to date me, she thought smugly. Besides, I am so looking forward to going to Sanford where my daddy wants to send me! Plenty of cute college boys there. With my looks I can pick and choose! The only fly disturbing her happiness was Melvin. Why didn't pimples just accept the
situation and quit bothering her! Honestly, he was such a pain!
Cordelia's court followed their leader about, completely unaware of a change in leadership. At first they had wondered what she was up to when
she had them help victims of the quake, but then they saw themselves on TV and on the morning newspapers and realized how sly she had been!
'Cordelia's cell phone buzzed. " Yes, " she said in her lovely voice. "Wow! Really, daddy that's wonderful. Hey, listen up guys!"
The chattered obediently stopped.
"That was my daddy! It seems that a movie producer saw me on TV and is coming up to meet me and maybe give me a screen test. There maybe a part
for me on the Beverly Hills show! Isn't that wonderful!"
'Melvin' heard the news and went in the bathroom and threw up his breakfast of lox and cream cheese! Then 'he' looked into the mirror at the pimpled
face. " I've got to get out of here!" he screamed. "Nobody but a few guys on the chess club even tolerated him. He was barely passing his classes and
he thought that his parents were terribly unfair. And all the clearisol in the world wouldn't clear up all these pimples!" 'Melvin' kicked over the
trash can. Damn that hurt these damn flat feet!
The Trickster smiled. Ah, sweetness and Light.
At the Library Giles, Miss Calender and Buffy were going over the info the two had collect on the Trickster. The Trickster, lurking in the Library's
shadows, was tickled to hear his glorious past being told and preened himself like a peacock.
" Giles, I need $ 1000 from the Slayer watcher fund. "
This startled Giles out of his scholarly lecture. " Why?"
" I think I have some way to maybe neutralize or capture the Trickster. "
" Can't you tell us what its for, Buffy? " God, he was looking at Willow, but it was Buffy. He wondered if he would ever get used to it. No and if
they didn't find a remedy soon he would have to start working with Willow. A Watcher could not afford to turn his back on the Slayer. It would break
Buffy's heart, but it would have to be done. The future of mankind was at stake and if Willow was going to be the slayer - then Willow was going to
be the slayer.
Buffy shook Willow's head. " Nope! I wouldn't be a bit surprised if the Trickster is listening in right now - or even if he's one of you. "
" I thought you could tell, Buffy " said Jenny.
" At one time I could, but I've been in Willow's bod too long - I've lost the ability. "
That was good, thought the Trickster, but what was the little sneak up too? He had to find out. Later he discovered without him knowing it she had
disappeared from School. He took the form of Miss Calender. Buffy knew her far less well than the others and so went to Willow's home to talk to her.
" You must tell me what's going on, Buffy " 'she' said. " I know a little a magic and maybe I can help. In fact I'm the only one you can trust right
" How do you figure that, Miss C? "
"Willow will not give up your body without a fight, Giles - well I don't want to hurt you, dear but Willow's the Slayer now and his final loyalty
will be with her. Xander is in love with ' Buffy' and is unreliable. "
" What about Angel? "
" Angel is a Vampire and as Willow you are not a threat to him. He may just make a meal out of you. "
" He wouldn't do that! "
" Can you afford to take a chance? "
Buffy sighed. " You're right. You're the only one I can trust. Once, I ran across a wizard and he had a mystical weapon that could imprison powerful
supernatural being in Crystal for thousand years. Well I've rented it for the duration. "
The Trickster was worried. He knew of a few such power artifacts. " Do you
have it here? "
" No. It's not safe here. " Buffy leaned forward and whispered. " It's in
the secret room underneath the Bronze. I'm going to go patrolling with it
at school tomorrow and at town tomorrow evening and shoot every thing that
moves it will only effect inhumans, the Trickster is such an ego manic I am
sure he will be curious enough to see what I'm doing with the crystal wand
and then zap - cold storage for a thousand years . "
" What about getting your body back? "
" Hopefully when he is imprisoned the spells will be reversed. If not, well
at least we have time to try straighten things out. At the very least
the low life pond scum will be stuck. Its the best thing I can do -
especially trapped as I am in this pathetic little body! "
Nobody could be as sympathetic as the trickster. Good, Buffy was finally
obvious to his real identify! That night he crept into the secret room at
the Bronze and went towards the hiding space of the crystal wand.
" Gotcha! " cried out Buffy. A ton of bricks came pouring down on the
Trickster's head. " Take that! and that you SOB! "The bricks fell like hail
on the Trickster." You didn't think I knew who you were - what a Maroon!"
Surprised the Trickster was plummeted to his knees and soon was covered by
the bricks. More and more bricks fell until there was quite a pile
Cautiously, Buffy, Giles and Miss Calendar left their hiding places and
approached the pile of rumble that hid the Trickster.
" Is he dead? " asked Jenny.
" I hope so " said Giles
Then their mouths were in their throats. Ten Minutes, fifteen minutes.
twenty minutes. Then the pile started to shift and bricks started being
dislodged. The Trickster stood up ruefully rubbing his head. Banana cream
pies whizzed through the air Buffy was throwing pies! Surprised the
Trickster took one after another right in the kisser! He started laughing.
" Well done, Buffy! " I haven't been so surprised in many, many, many
years! " He shook his head ruefully. He now took the form of Tom Cruise.
Giles and Jenny stepped back with alarm, but not Buffy.
" Tell you what I'm going to do " said the Trickster rubbing his head. "
Other affairs else where are crying for some sweetness and Light - "
" You go the horrible things you do sweetness and Light?" Asked Giles
The room grew cold.
" If I were you I would keep a civil tongue in your head, Librarian -
Unless that is you and Miss Calendar would like to spend the rest of your
lives as each other - or perhaps you would rather be a toad in garden? "
Miss Calendar took Giles by his arm and pulled him away.
The Trickster nodded " That's better - Ouch! I can still feel those bricks!
Buffy you are my kind of person and those pies were an inspired touch! I
admire you Buffy - Tell you what, if you can answer a SIMPLE question I
will restore your body. I will give you until noon tomorrow - California
" Yeah, what question? ' asked Buffy suspiciously as the trickster wiped
the rest of pies from Tom Cruise's face.
He smiled engagingly and they all felt a chill. " Just guess my name. "
" Rumbleskun! " cried Buffy.
The Trickster laughed and his laughter wasn't human. The three of them
covered their ears.
" Thank you, Buffy! I haven't had such a good laugh since I blinded the
Cyclops. Till high noon then."
He faded until only the trademark ` Cheshire cat grin' was left and even
that was gone. Giles looked at his shaking hands.
" Well we have a lot of work cut out - the Trickster has gone by many names
over the years - which one is his right one?. "
" Try them all! " said Buffy brightening. " You two work up a list - Giles
you from your dusty books - Miss C - from your computers - I need to get
home. Mom worries if I'm out too late. I will try and think what trick is
behind this 'simple request'.
" You think there's trick then, Buffy? " asked Jenny.
Buffy turned Willows quizzical face towards her. " Of course! Everything
else he has done has been a trick. "
On the way home Buffy was stopped by 'Pimples'.
" Willow Please listen to me. You've got to get Buffy's help for me. She
wouldn't even listen to me. "
" Well she's been rather Busy with Xander the last few days." She said
dryly. " What is it Pimples, make it fast. "
Cordelia looked at Willow oddly. She didn't seem like herself.
" You've got to believe me. I'm not pimples Melvin. "
Buffy was amused. " Well then who are you? "
" I'm- I'm your friend Cordelia. "
Buffy laughed what a joke and Cordelia being her friend. As if! And started
to move away, she felt her arm being grabbed.
" It's true - somehow that pimply Melvin used magic to steal my beautiful
body. Look there he goes. "
Buffy saw Cordelia and Eric coming towards them. Pimples hid. The beautiful
couple had only eyes for each other - then Cordelia saw Buffy.
" Oh Hi Willow, sorry I wasn't looking where I was going. Its nice to see
you - say I'm having a party tomorrow night - would you like to come? " she
It was hard for everyone to grasp the changes Melvin was making in
" You're inviting me to your party? " said Buffy amazed.
Cordelia nodded her lovely head. " Why not? I've always admired your
brains. Come on dear, " she gathered Eric on in and they went toward
Cordelia's car. Kissing all the way. He patted her shapely bottom and
Cordelia giggled and pressed herself closer against his strong body. Life
was so wonderful now!
" She's far too nice to be Cordy " thought Buffy." Of course, the Trickster!
He would think switching Melvin and Cordelia a good joke. Despite herself
Buffy grinned. She turned to anxious ugly teen beside her. "I believe you!
I don't know what can be done against the trickster!" And Buffy explained
what had happened and saw the pimply, pock marked face grow pale.
'Melvin' broke into tears." You've got to help me Buffy! You just don't
know how horrible it is to be Melvin!"
"We'll do what we can, Mel - I mean Cordelia. I got to go."
For the first time in days Cordelia had some hope.
Willow's mother had a nice snack for Buffy when she got home. She gave her
a kiss and with her father played a nice game of Monopoly which Buffy won.
Boy she sure was smart now! Don't get comfortable, Buffy warned herself
again. . . What was the Trickster's name? What trick lay behind that mask?
Or was the Trick that there was no Trick? she wondered. She had only till
noon tomorrow to find an answer. And there may be people who didn't want us
to find that answer - not only the Trickster, but the new Cordelia would
probably kill to keep that body and that life and what about Willow? She
had all Buffy's former slayer strength - what would she do?
The new Cordelia was very nervous. The Hollywood producer would be here
soon. Her daddy was so mean. He wouldn't even let her buy a new dress. Her
full lips pouted. She looked at the huge array of clothes - oh well I will
just have to make do with what I have.
Lets see, she thought, shall I go for the slutty look? She pulled down the
tight leather mini with its becoming tiny top and put them on. She stared
with a delighted smile into the mirror. Did she ever look hot!! No wonder
Eric couldn't keep his hands off her, she giggled. Regretfully she put it
back., No plenty of sluts in Hollywood heaven knew. Next she tried on a
long elegant cocktail dress - it shimmered silver and gold. She looked like
a queen in that one. No, too formal. I think the all American beauty is
what's needed here. The small town princess look. She put on black leggings
that accentuated every curve of her gorgeous legs. Then a plaid skirt that
fell to about two inches of the knee. Then a semi tight blue silk blouse!
Perfect! Absolutely perfect! Then she slipped oh her lovely feet the
matching two inch pumps. The meeting went well and she got a promise of a
guest spot as a girl friend of the heroes best friend - they would see
audience reaction and how the Camera liked her and maybe more would follow.
The movie producer left in his rolls and all of a sudden the trickster was
in the back seat roaring with appreciation at his jest. Poor 'Cordelia'
waiting for a call that never came - or perhaps he would arrange for it
after all - that might still be more amusing. Oh, well it wasn't important
either way. He still had to decide what to do about Buffy tomorrow, the
powers that be and his own nature kept him from interfering directly with her
chances tomorrow - but perhaps another could. Not that she had any chance -
any chance at all of guessing his name. Maybe I don't need to do anything?
Perhaps. Perhaps not. If he slept he would think about it, but he never
Ex-Principle Synder was Las Vegas begging for food, grabbing entertainers
asking for news of the one armed Magician.
An excited 'Cordelia' called Eric, she was jumping up and down with the
news. She ordered him to pick her up and take her to the Bronze to
celebrate. He didn't dream of refusing. She hurriedly stripped off the
demure outfit - the slutty look tonight for sure! She was going to get laid
or know the reason why! On went the black leather Mini and the high heeled
patent leather boots and the almost microscopic top. She made sure mom and
dad or the maids didn't see her sneak out. Daddy would die if he saw his
princess in these clothes!
'Melvin' arrived for his shift at the Bronze his Papa insisted he earn money to help the family by working three nights a week here as a busboy.
The former Cordelia had passed from humiliation in to degradation and into despair. A flicker of hope that Buffy could help her was only a flicker.
What could anyone do against the Trickster? A hopeless look was on his pimple riddled face. Dully and mechanically he started cleaning up messes
and to think he once had a family maid that picked up after his former self. Those days seemed years distance now. Everyone bumped him and his
flat feet hurt!
Over there was Buffy - I mean Willow in Buffy's cute body. Look at her
dance with Xander. What does she see in him? When they sat down Pimples
went over and Buffy looked sternly at him ' 'Like you better not spill the
beans who I am or I will break both your legs.'
Hurriedly 'Melvin' backed away. He stood in shock. He should be used to it by now, but it still hurt. His beautiful former body walked gracefully into
the club. She had dared to wear her secret most hottest outfit! Eric looked at her worshipfully! God did the former Cordelia want to kill the body and
life stealer! The glass he was carrying broke in his hand. Blood flowed. Shit. Cordy would have to get the cut repaired. Cordelia cursed under his bad
breath as he knew that the scrooge like owner would deduct the cost from his pathetic pay check. He headed towards the first aid hovel. Cordelia
didn't notice a large sinister looking man following him. The stranger couldn't take his eyes off the blood flowing from the plump hand. When
'Melvin' reached the room powerful arms grabbed him and a claw like hand clamp around his mouth. Horrified and paralyzed Cordelia stared at death.
It was a vampire they didn't exist but they did! The monster grinned at him with very long fangs exposed leaned towards the fat neck. Cordelia thought
- Damn! I am going to die as pimples when I get to where I go I will just die of shame! Closer and closer the feted breath came. The creature laughed
like a demon from hell.
"What luck to find such a plump morsel!" The blood red tongue licked its fangs with anticipation. Suddenly the creature was gone - tuned into dust.
Bewildered Cordelia blinked through Melvin's thick glasses. 'Buffy' was standing there with a stake in her hand. She frowned.
"Try and be a little more careful. I'm on a hot date and can't be saving
you every time I turn around."
"Thanks!" squeaked Cordelia in Melvin's horrid voice.
'Buffy' Nodded. "Sorry I didn't mean to be so cross!" She smiled a friendly smile and patted the pump shoulder. " Better take care of that cut." And
she bounced out of the room and back to Xander.
Cordelia thought she had plumbed the depths of humiliation, but there was more to come. She had to buss the table where her former beautiful self was
- surrounded by admirers and friends. And the new Cordelia didn't even notice him. Life really sucks Cordelia thought as he watched the incredibly
sexy girl leaving with Eric. It was all too obvious how they were going to spent the rest of the night! As for me, 'Melvin' thought sourly I have to
stay and mop the floor!
Came the next fateful day. Buffy hardly slept all night. What was the
trickster up to?
The phone in the library rang. Giles asked Jenny to put it on speaker and
they heard Willow's voice. It was still very strange to hear the voice with
" Forgot to tell you guys, but I think the Trickster has switched Cordelia
and a guy with Pimples called Melvin something or other. Check it out - "
She hung up. Wordless they looked at each other
" I guess I should look into it " said Giles reluctantly.
" Be careful! I don't want to live the rest of my life as you - or have to
feed you flies in the garden as you are playing Mr. Toad. "
Giles nodded wordlessly.
Joyce Summers was worried. She knew she should be happy. Buffy wasn't moody
any more. She was cheerful and didn't sneak out as much. She was thoughtful
and quiet and respectful - even listened to her mother. Ruefully Joyce
shook her head. I must be insane. I feel that somehow I've lost my little
" Hi, Mom, Hi Xander " said Buffy cheerfully bouncing down the stairs.
Xander look of worship would be out of place except in a church. Looking at
them appearing so innocent you would hardly guess that they had spent the
last two nights in bed with each other. Arm and arm they went out.
Another thing, thought Joyce. She never complains about school anymore and
I still can't believe that she suddenly carries on Romantically with
Alexander. There never was any sparks with him at least as far as Buffy was
concerned. Joyce shook her head. She missed the old Buffy.
" Strange, we haven't seen much of Willow lately, Buffy. " said Xander.
Willow looked at him quickly. " Do you miss her? "
" A little - you know she I were are best buds. "
" Did you ever feel - well romantic towards her? "
" Willow! " Xander hooted. " Willow, she's a good friend, but Willow!? Now
I love her like a brother, but she has as much Sex appeal as a sack of wet
Willow was furious nobody could talk about her friend - I mean myself like
that. With Slayer strength she punched him in the arm.
" Hey! That hurt! "
" It was supposed to! That was rude and uncalled for Xander. Willow is our
" Sorry Buffy, I thought you were jealous and I wanted to reassure you. I
apologize. Kiss and make up? "
" Well - "
Cordelia woke up from the most delight dream. A whole sea of ice cream and
cake and it was all hers and found herself knawing on a pillow.
Oh my God! I'm even starting to dream Melvin's dreams! She -
he dressed - the fat body in unfashionable clothes and trudged off to what
was sure to be a miserable day at school. Today though, I will not look for
my old body. It just makes me feel bad. Cordelia, felt hopeless. With dull
resignation came the thought - I'm going to live out the rest of my life as
Pimples and no one even notices or cares. Buffy doesn't like me. I can't
say that I blame her. Even if she could help - would she? Besides we don't
stand a chance against the Trickster. He remembered the encounter with the
Vampire and shuddered. The universe seems out to get me! What happened to
her perfect life?
The Trickster wasn't worried, really he wasn't, he told himself. Buffy
would never make the right guess and Rumpeltilskin had been so funny! He
toyed with doing something with Giles and or Miss Calendar, but that might bring
others powers down on him. He of course did not tell Buffy directly, but by
trapping and tricking him she had brought his game to a close here. He was
almost sorry that she would spent the rest of her life as Willow. Almost!
He laughed. Sweetness and Light! He frowned. Buffy had fooled him before.
What could he do, but not directly, to not even give her a chance to guess?
'Cordelia' rose and glanced with enormous satisfaction in the mirror. She
was so beautiful how could she not be an object of worship. Her long dark
hair shown and she smiled and her teeth sparkled whiter than white. She turned
this way and that and admired her gorgeous figure. Ruthlessly she
suppressed the image of a fat pimple boy who used to dwell in the mirror.
He was gone never to return! Cordelia was more than welcome to him! Now
what to wear, what to wear, always the same difficult decisions. She slid
on a purple three piece combo outfit and purple boots to match. She got out
her purple purse and looked in the mirror. She was perfect - absolutely
perfect! All of a sudden she cramped up. What was going on? Then it hit her
- oh my God I think I'm going to have my first period! This wasn't going to
be much fun. Oh well, what was left of Melvin thought, glancing with
satisfaction in the Mirror, It goes with the territory. 'She' reached for
the box of Tampons. Better be ready - I don't to spot my beautiful dress.
Boy did this feel weird, but I'll get use to it. It just the first of many.
The Trickster laughed. It was amusing to start ' Cordelia's period and see
how Melvin would cope.
Buffy cornered Willow after math class ( which she aced ).
" Giles and Miss Calendar are afraid to talk to you, but I'm not. "
" Why should you be, Willow? " asked Willow cautiously.
" Cut the crap and listen up " said the intrepid Buffy. " Did you threaten
to kill my mother and Giles if anyone told Xander who you really were? "
Willow was horrified. " Of course not, Buffy I would never do such a
dreadful thing! "
" I didn't think so, you may be a naive, but you're not a monster. Listen,
It wasn't me. "
" What wasn't you? "
Buffy sighed with exasperation and explained as best she could the whole
Trickster thing. "
Willow was a crushed. " You mean you never wanted to be me? "
Buffy thought fast. No sense hurting Willow's feelings. She gave her a hug.
It was weird touching and hugging your own body!
" Of course I've thought about it from time to time, Willow - not having
the Burden of being the Slayer and having a dad at home and you're just so
darn nice and so much smarter than I am. That's what the Trickster was
counting on - that it was believable. "
" But if you don't guess his name, we will remain in each other's Body? "
Willow couldn't help herself, her traitorous heart hoped that she could
still keep Xander's love.
Buffy caught the feeling and looked at her keenly, but decided not to bring
it up. What will happen will happen and it certainly looked like Willow
would be Buffy Summer for the rest of their lives. But I'm not giving up
she thought with determination!
" I've got some questions for you. Did you sleep with Xander? "
" Well - "
" OK - I don't blame you. We can handle that problem later - if we need to.
Did you use protection? "
" ER - I didn't think of it - "
" Willow! "
" I'm sorry. I hope I'm not pregnant! "
" So do I! What about Angel? "
" I broke up with him. "
" I'm going to kill you! Oh, never mind - its not your fault the person I'm
going to kill is the Trickster! I will take great pleasure in staking him -
with a dull point no less! "
She then told Willow about the Tons of Bricks and the pies in the Trickster
surprised face and they both laughed like the friends they were. Willow
agreed to be in the Library at 11:30.
" Buffy, would you mind not telling Xander unless we do change back?
Buffy shrugged -" Good idea, How's my mother - I bet she's glad to have a
normal daughter? "
" Actually I think she somehow knows I'm not you and misses you."
Buffy brightened. " Really? "
Willow nodded Buffy's blond head vigorously.
" Oh, by the way - I think the Trickster has also switched Cordelia and
pimples Melvin " said Buffy in an after thought.
Willow laughed. " That's funny - but I guess I really shouldn't laugh. "
" Sure you should! It is funny. "
" No wonder Cordys been so nice lately. "
They both nodded and parted. As Willow was thoughtfully walking down the
hall she was stopped by the Trickster looking like Tom Cruise. He was all
" I am who you think I am. I am here to help, Willow. You can remain Buffy
very easily you know? All you have to do is a little tap on her head about
11:30 let her be unconscious for an hour and that body and Xander are yours
forever. She doesn't even have to know - if you do it from behind. She will
think I did it and I don't mind taking the blame for you. I am your friend
after all. Who else could give you such a wonderful gift as that beautiful
body you and XANDER now enjoy so much?"
Willow despised herself. She found the offer - the idea tempting. It would
work - no doubt about it.
" Are you sure you wouldn't tell her or she might somehow find out? "
The Trickster smiled. Human being were so easy to manipulate - especially
women in love..
" Trust me! Remember - I gave you that great body and Xander's love. "
" OK, " She took a deep breath. "OK, I'll do it! "
" You'll never regret it! " he smiled like he was running for president.
" Oh, I'll regret it and feel guilty, but I'll still do it. "
Giles was embarrassed, Cordelia was sobbing on his shoulder. It was still
hard to believe that this disgusting looking sub-human specimen had been
the gorgeous girl that the males in the high school had so lusted after.
" And you'll help me? "
" We will try. "
" Buffy and Willow are really switched, too? "
" Yes, Cordelia. "
" Thank you, thank you for calling me that! You've given me hope. Oh, and
if only one pair can be switched back please let it be me. "
" I beg your pardon? " said an astonished Giles.
" Its horrible being Pimples Melvin! Buffy and Willow are both girls and
not that far apart socially. Look - it wouldn't be the end of the world if
they didn't switch back. "
" Actually it might be, Cordelia. "He left her there with Melvin's mouth
Willow awaited word from the Trickster. Then his smiling presence was
" She's coming. Get ready. "
Willow hid in the room and watched Buffy, in her old body walk heedless by.
It was almost 11:30.
" Remember its for Xander and your happiness " whispered the Trickster with
Willow nodded. " I don't like it, but I'll do it. "
With Slayer stealth she crept up behind the oblivious Buffy. The Trickster
watched licking his lips and smiling. He had won! He had won! What a
triumphant! It was one of his finest hours. Closer and Closer Willow drew
to Buffy and she raised her powerful arm.
Willow brought Buffy's powerful arm down around Buffy's shoulders
protectively and like the friends they were the two of them walked together
into the library.
The Trickster let out a howl of indignation. He had been deceived and lied
to! Why the villains!
Willow turned around and stuck out her tongue at him. She knew it was
extremely childish, but it made her feel better. He got what he deserved
for thinking she would betray Buffy.
The Trickster literally danced with rage - This wasn't working out the way
he wanted. These kids were impossible! He went storming into the library.
" What happened to our deal? " He asked Willow, when he calmed down. " Why
did you change your mind? "
" I only let you think we had a deal. I figured you had tricked and lied to
so many people I'd give you a taste of your own medicine. Also, I thought
it would keep you from trying some other way of cheating Buffy out of her
chance to guess your name. "
" But I know you want Buffy's body and Xander's love - why - "
Willow used Buffy's face to look pityingly at him. He noticed Buffy doing
the same and he grew puzzled.
" You really aren't capable of understanding are you? "Asked Buffy with
Willow's soft voice.
Then Willow spoke with Buffy's assured tones.
" You never been a friend, you've never had a friend, you just don't
understand friendship. I would never, never do what you expected me to do
to Buffy. She's my friend. It was tempting, but so what? "
Trickster regained his composure. These girls were babbling, he refused to
feel any pangs in his heart. Who needed friends away? He had his tricks.
That's all he needed.
" All these fine and noble sentiments will not answer my riddle for you.
Buffy - you have from 12:00 until 12:15 PM to tell me my name. and I don't
think you can do it. I will still have my victory. " Now he looked like
Jack Nickelson. "You can start in ten minutes guessing. "
" That's not fair! " cried Buffy.
" Take it or leave it " he said with a nasty grin.
On the streets of San Francisco a bedraggled, haunted, hunted Synder was
desperately asking in the theater district if anyone knew of a one armed
Magician and he couldn't understand why people looked at him strangely.
Xander had sneaked out of school to buy something for Buffy and was
undecided between flowers and candy.
Cordelia, in Pimples body was praying in school ( she hoped she would not
get in trouble with the supreme court ) praying desperately to get her
beautiful body and life back.
'Cordelia' was rallying puzzled cheerleaders into heading up a food drive
for the poor of Sunnydale. She looked incredibly beautiful.
" Start! " said the confident Trickster.
" Trickster! " cried Buffy.
" No " he laughed.
" Random. "
He shook his head.
" Coyote, Logi, Loki, - - "
" No, no, no "
Desperately Giles and Miss Calendar tried Chinese and other obscure names dredged
from books and computers. The Trickster grew more and more confident and
they more and more desperate.
" Two minutes! "Laughed the Trickster triumphantly.
Buffy let the others talk. They were missing something, but what was it? Of
course - she had a leap of intuition - The Trickster had never ever been
straight forward, everything was a trick.
" One minute " laughed the Trickster.
" You don't have a name " said Buffy quietly.
The Trickster looked startled. " What nonsense is this? "
" You don't have name. A Name means order. You are Disorder. You have no
name. The things we call your names just describe the rotten things you do
- they're just titles like king or jester or a fool. But you have no name.
It grew deathly still and very cold.
Then the Trickster laughed.
" You've won! I don't lose very often. What a come down to be beaten by an
ignorant 16 old girl. I mean that in the kindest possible way of course. "
" No you don't " said Buffy.
" No I don't " he laughed. " Well no one can ever say I don't pay up when I
do lose. "
Suddenly Willow and Buffy found themselves back into their own bodies.
Willow tried to be glad.
The Trickster smiled at her. " Her beautiful body could have been yours."
Willow smiled bravely. " Even in Buffy's great body I would still have to
live with myself. "
He shrugged. He looked at the two teachers. " Afraid? Well
you should be." He turned to Willow and Buffy. "They know more of me and so
have more reason to be fearful. "
Buffy asked " What about Cordelia and Pimples? "
The Trickster now shimmered into Tom Cruise.
He frowned. " That is a dilemma I have. I thought it would work out much
better than it has. Initially it was fun. Cordelia being miserable with
Melvin lording lit over her , torturing her - I naturally assumed that
Pimples would basically turn into a slightly nastier Cordelia, if indeed
such a thing were possible - but that hasn't happen. He has become nice - a
kinder, gentler Cordelia. " The Trickster shuddered with revulsion. " I
can't make up my mind what to do. Its still funny but the spark has gone
out of the jest and I've come to realize that Cordy is more my kind of
creature. She knows how to spread Sweetness and Light the way I like to see
it spread. Tell you what I'm going to do - I'll let you four decide. Here's
the list of spells you would need to do to reverse the body switch. It will
take about six days to complete all the steps and then they will wake up in
their old bodies. I cannot bring myself to reverse one of my good deeds. "
" You call them good deeds? " asked Buffy - she was the only one with
courage to speak up.
The Trickster grinned and suddenly he looked more like something out of
Jurassic park than Tom Cruise. " That's what I call them. I pride myself on
spreading Sweetness and Light everywhere I go. Well - I have calls on my
efforts else where now - individuals must not monopolize what is meant for
the entire world to enjoy and benefit from "
" Good bye! " said Buffy with finality.
" Au Revoir " said the Trickster with sinister significance. Then all that
was left was the Cheshire cat grin that faded slowly away.
" Well at last were rid of him "said Buffy with satisfaction.
" Buffy " said Giles quietly. " Au Revoir is French. "
" So - even I knew that. "
" Yes, but it doesn't mean good by. "
" Oh, what does it mean. "
" More like I'll be seeing you " piped in Willow.
The four of them looked at each other.
" Damn it! : said Buffy breaking a table with a blow. " Vampires are bad
enough! OOPS! " she said. " I forgot - I don't even know my own strength."
The tension release set them all laughing.
Xander case sliding into the library," Hey what's up, doc? "
Willow and Buffy looked at each other.
He came up with flowers and tried to hand them to Buffy.
She shook her head.
" Give them to Willow. "
" What? "
Willow turned as red as fire.
" Xander, please don't hate me. "
Xander was in even more than his usual state of bewilderment.
" Why should I hate you Willow? We've been buds since we started walking."
" I did something bad and I did it because I love you so much I wasn't
thinking straight. "
Buffy chipped in and helped her friend.
" A character called the Trickster tricked Willow and switched her body and
mine for the last few days. "
" Then who have been sleeping with? " he asked embarrassed.
Shamefaced Willow raised her hand.
" I'm sorry, Xander I thought Buffy wanted to trade bodies permanently and
I wanted us to be together so bad. "
Xander shook his head." Finally it dawned on him what THEY WERE SAYING.
He turned to Buffy and blurted out "Then You don't love me? "
She shook her head. " I like you Xander, but only as a friend. "
Xander laughed a little nervously and looked at Willow who had big tears
streaming down her face.
" Hey, don't cry! " he took her in his arms and hugged her. " I don't blame
you for trying anything to get my love - I certainly can understand how you
feel - I'm worth it!! "
Willow, torn between tears and laugher, kissed him tenderly.
Buffy touched his arm. " It wasn't me you loved the last few days. It was
Willow. Willow's still there - only the wrapping paper has changed. You
would be a fool to throw away such love. I may never have it - - " She
laughed. Sad and wild " Can you just imagine a pregnant Slayer? "
Nobody met her eyes. Xander looked at a hopeful Willow a long time and took
her by the hand.
" Well I guess I will have to through the same explanations with Angel.
Cordy in pimple's body burst into the library. " What's taking you guy so
long! Hurry up and get my beautiful body back from that bitch Melvin! Are
You two losers finally getting together? ( this to Willow and Xander ) OOPS
I got get to chess club! I'm WAITING! Don't DAWDLE. I listened at the door
and I know you have the spell! and it shouldn't take you any six days
either - not if you work every moment on it! "
Cordelia looked hard at them and then rushed out with a singular lack of
Miss Calendar, Giles, Willow. Xander and Buffy looked at each other. Then
there was a long pause.
" I guess we should get Cordy back her body? " said Willow slowly.
They looked at each other again, thinking now nice the new Cordelia had
" Yes, I suppose so " said Giles with neutral tones.
" Humm " said Miss Calendar.
" Yep, I guess we should " said Buffy without enthusiasm.
" But we shouldn't rush into anything " said Xander brightly. " After all
how do we know that the Trickster is telling the truth and has given us the
right spell? "
" Absolutely! " said Buffy. " It will need careful study. Right Giles? "
" Giles smiled " I suppose it will. "
" Weeks and weeks? " asked Willow hopefully.
" Could well take that long " said Buffy.. " We owe it to poor Cordelia to get it right.
They grinned at each other - All friends together.