The Great Secret
by Eric Bloodstone

Disclaimer: These Characters do not belong to me. They are property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, WB
Network, and whoever else that has rights to BTVS.
Teaser: The explanation of the amazing 'luck' of the survival of the slayer & slayerettes against all the evils of the  hell mouth.
Author's Notes: Ever wonder why the core of Buffy & her friends have survived all the attacks the Vampires the effects of the hell mouth, Witches & even powerful demons? This explains why. My modest ANSWER.
Feedback: Of course.
Spoilers: Lots and Lots.

The extent of my success still amazes me. Of course my acting ability is without a peer & the part I chose to play is a type that seems beyond suspicion, but still--No one, not even poor Giles suspected. Fooling that air head Buffy was and is no great feat. The poor girl is brave and is one of the best all time fighters--right up there with the best of the best, but fooling her was hardly something to brag to the Others about, & as for Xander--poor boy has trouble making change. But Willow is really brilliant. I made a point to steer the two of them together in such away that they were sure to form a close Bond. Yet even Willow is clueless! Still the evidence was there for all to see. Especially after I became directly involved in their troubles. And these people collect major evils the way a beautiful woman collects admirers.

I must take credit and credit is due me. I am just the Best. They haven't even considered the luck of their survival & how I often even was physically present at most of their dangerous moments or how--for example Xander--acted so untypically--going down to rescue Buffy after the Master Vampire had killed her And then not even Giles wondered how she could be returned to life after so long a time without brain or any physical damage & then go right out & kill the Master! I thought sure they would suspect--especially since I had to be involved physically in all the fun & games that night!

The poet Vali ( how the poor man adored me) was right when he said 2500 years ago that there is no end to Human Folly--its vast beyond comprehension. They have just accepted the fact that they have 'on their own' beaten back not only Vampires, but demons, & a powerful witch--they even thought they destroyed on their own that creature-demon under the frat house which had lived since the beginning of time. None of them even thought of how they managed to do it or how unlikely it was for me be to be present once again..

Also, Xander's sudden inexplicable love for 'Cordelia'. They thought it odd, but didn't go beyond that. His passion for Buffy was causing problems in their survival -irritating Buffy & splitting her from Willow. It was easy--for me--to make him fall headless, madly in love.

Also take the case of the pitiful demon within Angel ( what a loser)--again everyone believed it could defeat a major demon like what's its name inside Miss Calendar. No one suspected my aid in both Willow's inspiration & me expelling the demon. Human are silly, but cute--you have to give them that!

I thought sure I would be discovered--I still can not believe I wasn't exposed--after the costume caper & later especially after that silly love spell cast by the neophyte witch Amy. I expected to be & was even prepared to come clean. Did they really think that silly chit could cause all the girls in women in Sunnydale to fall madly in love with XANDER!?

GIVE ME A BREAK! I have to laugh. They never really considered whom the spell was actually aimed at & who it never affected. The spelled bounced off me of course like a rubber ball off a battleship. Bounced off & then of course was augmented beyond human power. Here I was at fault, I never dreamed Xander would do such a stupid thing, but men in love with me always have been inconsolable. I expected some desperate measures, but it never occurred to me that he would use magic. I must admit my fault.

In the past I have deliberately provoked a magic attack on my person namely the witch Catherine on me--I was afraid she would kill someone--especially Buffy. It was easy to fake my blindness, & again no one really wondered why no one was hurt when I was driving. Documenting my existence in Sunnydale was a simple matter--for me. 'My parents' of course were ecstatic of the honor I bestowed on them, by me pretending to be their daughter as well as the gold I gave them to shut their mouths.

Once again, I thought for sure I would be exposed as I was the only one not transformed on Halloween. I still can hardly believe that my lie that because my costume was not bought at what's his name's place--that was why I was the only one wearing a costume in Sunnydale not to be transformed was so gullibly believed. That pathetic, cowardly would be wizard, transform me! As if! And then the unstopped, Golem like creature the Vampires put together like some tinker toy, somehow 'modern weapons did the job' Get real! No one considered I was there when Xander stole it--and was somehow able to do so from a guarded weapons what not & that it might have been--augmented. Lets just say I put a little Zip in the Zap!

I sigh--only 116 more years to go & then I will be off hell mouth duty & I can go back. I so miss Mt. Olympus! I look at the mirror at the image I have created and sigh again. This body--this Cordelia Chase is beautiful, but can't compare to my Terrific, Incomparable Godly Form! OH well, it will have to do for now. I smile. I have a date with Xander--not in broom closet--though that was amusing! Mortals are so easy to fool, I guess that is the answer to my musings. Well enough of that! Xander is hardly worthily enough to date me--but then who is worthy of Aphrodite the Goddess of Love!?

And it wouldn't do for me all of creatures to be without a boyfriend. And I do find Xander as cute as a puppy. He is waiting for me downstairs, a look of worship in his eyes.

The End

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