Adventures in Babysitting
By Melissa Flores

Summary: When Cordelia is forced to babysit Spike the two end up sharing more than just a pity party.
Genre: C/Spike. Yeah, you read it right. C/Spike. Why the hell not? I really don’t have that great a handle on Spike. My apologies. But oh well.
Disclaimer: Blah, blah. Fox sucks.


“We’re out of Cheese Doodles.”

Rupert Giles closed his eyes in frustration, mentally counting to ten as he looked up to meet Buffy’s eyes in exasperation.

“Listen, Spike.” His eyes met the blonde who merely stared at him back, an empty bag in his hands as he glared at the Englishman expectantly.  “We’re trying to avert an Apocalypse here. It will have to wait.”

Spike pursed his lips, shaking the empty bag at him. “Felicity is on in five minutes, and I need Cheese Doodles.”

He ignored the look Buffy and Xander passed and merely stared passively at Giles. He wasn’t ashamed. He loved Felicity. It was like watching a girl Angel. The chit never stopped brooding. After you got past that part, it was delicious fun. Plus with that new haircut, he could take a much better view of that slender neck.

“Spike, shut up.” Buffy said sharply, her eyes never leaving the book in her lap.

Spike glared at her, but shrugged carelessly, throwing the bag on the floor and walking back to the kitchen.   Screw it then.  Wankers didn’t appreciate him trying to make the best of things, well that was just fine.

Let old Rupert figure out he had found his hidden stash of imported beer when it was all gone down the kitchen drain.
“Pick that up and put it in the trashcan.” Giles ordered, without looking up.

Spike ignored him, whistling as he pulled out the bottled and bit off the cork. At least these blasted fangs were good for one thing.

Taking a swig he blanched, letting the rest drain down into the sink as he stepped back into the living room where the three good guys were busy researching for yet ANOTHER bad thing.

He sighed. He used to be a bad thing. Now look at him. A pissant. A nobody. Not even the speck of a –

“This is useless.”  Xander Harris spoke up, cutting off his pity party when he sighed. “We’re not going to find it in time. We may as well whistle Dixie and call it quits.”

Whistle Dixie and call it quits? Spike rolled his eyes. Moron.

“Well, we have to keep bloody looking, don’t we?”  Giles snapped, rubbing at his temples.

Spike stifled a grin.  They were plucky, he had to give them that. Plucky little bastards.

There was a tired silence, until a screeching of tires caused the tired group to look up to the door.

Giles looked startled, was just starting to rise out of the chair when the door burst open, and a familiar brunette came running into the room.

Spike cocked his head curiously, leaning against the door as he recognized the vixen. Cordelia Chase. He always did have a thing for brunettes, and this one was no exception. Quite the luscious creature. Especially when she looked all brave and flustered.

Which was exactly how she looked at that moment.

“Cordy?!” Xander stood his eyes wide as he took in the form of his ex-girlfriend. “What are you doing-“

“Yeah, hi.” Cordelia Chase disregarded all of them, her eyes searching the room and finally landing on Buffy.

“You’re looking for the big evil, right?” She blurted out, grabbing Buffy’s forearms.

Buffy looked confused, and her eyes flitted to Giles’ in an unspoken question.  Just as perplexed, he could only shrug.

“Umm… I guess.” She finally answered haltingly.

“It’s in the old mansion.” Cordelia answered, pulling her to the door.

“What?!” Cordelia sighed when Buffy’s feet dug into the carpet. “Cordelia what are you talking about!”

“The big evil!!! Big, apopaclyptic crap?!” Cordelia retorted, running a hand through her hair. “Work with me, okay?! It’s in the mansion. Druids and ugly demons and just… ewww. Angel and Wesley are over there right now, and they need help, so go! Do your slay thing!”

Well, well. The Cheerleader knew something. This was getting interesting. Spike crossed his arms, watching Giles’ flabbergasted expression with interest.

Giles’ mouth opened, and then shut. He shifted his feet and then tried again. “How do you know-“

“I had a vision.”

“You had a vision.” He repeated, still utterly lost.

“Yes a vision!” She repeated, exasperated.  Spike merely raised an eyebrow. “Big, painful, migraines wrinkle inducing, and I drool.” When they all stared at her blankly, she sighed. “It’s a long story, and I don’t want to talk about it cause it brings up pain, so just….. go. Angel and Wesley need your help.” She paused, frozen when she finally laid eyes on Spike. “And there’s a vampire killer in your home.”

He waved.

“Oh, he won’t hurt you.” Giles said impatiently, pulling on a jacket. “Let’s go.”

“I’m not going.” She retorted, crossing her arms.

Buffy stopped midstep on her way to the door. “Okay, can I just say, HUH?!”

“I usually need about an hour just to recuperate mentally. These things hurt!” Cordelia exclaimed, one hand to her head to illustrate her point.

“You know what? Fine.” Buffy rolled her eyes.  “You can baby-sit Spike.”

Now wait a bloody minute.  “I don’t need a babysitter.” He retorted.  “Least of all her.”

Cordelia could only stare at him in confusion.

“You’re leaving me alone with HIM?! Isn’t that SPIKE?!” She squeaked.

“He can’t hurt you.”  Xander said, walking out the door with Giles.

“Yeah, think impotence, but with fangs.” The Slayer gave the harried retort.

“Hey!” Spike looked miffed as he stared after the group.  “I’m not bloody impotent.” He roared after them, causing Cordelia to jump.

There was silence as the Scooby Gang screeched away, and the ex cheerleader and the vampire sized each other up.

When he moved toward her, she squealed, trying her best to keep a brave face on despite the fear that was written on her face.

Spike resisted the urge to smile. She really did look cute when she tried to act  brave.

“You kill me, Angel will kick your ass.” She said quickly, one hand in front of her.  “I’m his only  link to the PTB.”

Rolling his eyes, he only glared before moving past her  and settling on the couch.  Once settled he picked up the remote and turned on the television.

The sounds of Felicity came on, and Spike gave a needless sigh of contentment, turning up the volume.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he caught her lithe form pacing. Back and forth, back and forth.  Her arms were crossed, and she was she was staring.. She was bloody staring.

It was driving him crazy.  Pace, pace, stare stare, made it hard to concentrate on the show. He tried valiantly to ignore it, but she kept pacing, and he began to get frustrated.  She was eyeing him like he was a blasted circus freak.

What was wrong with the girl?

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s rude to stare?”  he finally growled, his eyes not moving from the screen.

“Lots of times.” She answered,  keeping her gaze on him. She moved around the couch, as if trying to get a better look at him.

There was silence until he finally gave her a grouchy glance. “What?”

“So.” She paused, her arms crossed in the middle of her task of completely obliterating the carpet by pacing to and fro.  “You can’t bite me?”

The blonde haired vampire with the tight black jeans rolled his eyes. “Not unless I want a hugely painful and terrible migraine, no.”

“Trust me, I know how that feels.”  She muttered.  The pretty brunette stared at him, her mouth threatening to turn into a twitch of a smile as she eyed him up and down.  “Not at all?”

He didn’t even give her the decency of mustering an expression. “No, not at all.”

“Hmm.” She seemed to be considering her options and when he gave her an even glare, she shrugged. “I still don’t trust you. You went and tried to kill my undead boss and threatened to kill me AND so much other badness. But seeing you as inept guy, is kind of cool.” Spike groaned and shut his eyes. This was getting bloody ridiculous.  Harmony he could handle. That simpering moron Xander, he could handle. He could handle the horndog and he could handle the Slayer. He could even handle the little Wiccan, because, like it or not, she baked damn good cookies.

But Cordelia Chase, he simply could not handle.

“Sod off.” He grumbled. “I’m trying to watch a show.”

Undeterred, she merely sat across from him, for the moment no longer afraid.  “You’re watching Felicity. And it’s a rerun.”

“Well I haven’t bloody seen it.” He retorted turning the sound up. She snatched the remote away and turned it back down.

“The dog dies, her and the boyfriend finally do it.” She answered quickly. “How’d you get like this?”

“Like what?”

She shrugged. “Well one minute you’re vamp killer guy, the next your Mr. Couch potato.”

His eyes narrowed at her. “For your information, I’m STILL vamp killer guy. I just can’t… kill-“


“Sod off.”

“So you’re just staying here, because what?”

He crossed his arms, trying to do his best to her annoyingly perky voice. “I get fed.”

“Oh, yep. Guess they’re right. Don’t feed the strays or they’ll never leave.” She said, nodding.   “So you’re like, the houseguest that won’t go away.”

He gave her a glare, deciding then and there to shut his trap.  “What about the one where you ignore them and they go away?”

She cocked her head, studying him. “You know, now that I see you up close, you’re not nearly as scary as I once thought you were.”

Oh, did this simpering brat have a deathwish?


“No, you’re not. I mean, look at you. You’re watching Felicity.”

He growled, his vamp face raising on his face. “This bloody scary enough for you wench?”

She didn’t even flinch. “Oh, please. Angel vamps out at least once a week.”

He felt the face fall, restoring to the human one as he looked at her in surprise. “Not even a scream, at least?”

“Sorry. I’m used to the ugly vamp face thing. To be honest?” She shrugged. “You look better without the GRRR.”

With that she got up and walked into the kitchen. “Does Giles have anything good to eat?”

He shook his head, pouting slightly. “No. Hasn’t gone shopping in ages. Shouldn’t complain though. Better than going to that dolt Xander’s house and listening to him and his demon girlfriend shag all day.”

There was quiet, until Cordelia emerged, her face strangely void of expression. “All day?” She repeated.

“Like bloody rabbits.” He confirmed. “Seems like everyone is getting some these days but me.”

“No, wait. There’s me.” She said, sighing and walking back into the kitchen. “Oh! Popcorn!”

“Five minutes!” he called back. “No more or it’ll burn.”

“Got it.”  He heard the microwave whir and put his feet up, musing while he waited for the girl to return.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her hustling around the kitchen. She really did look smashing. Quite the luscious vixen. From an odd angle, even looked a little like Dru.

Course that was where the similarities ended. The girl was damn cocky, conceited and brusque.

Reminded him of someone, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on who.

She stepped into the living a large bowl in her lap as she sat down.  He immediately grabbed handful and stuffed it in his mouth, crunching as he studied her.

“What?” She finally asked when he didn’t venture a word.

“So what’s with this vision thing?” He asked, leaning back to inspect her properly. “I don’t you remember being a supernatural chit.”

She paused, growing strangely quiet as she quickly looked away. “I wasn’t” She said in a low voice. “I inherited them.”

“From who?” Spike pressed, one eyebrow raised.

She didn’t answer, simply moved away from him and looked toward the door. Spike watched her carefully, wondering what on earth got her so upset.

“Wait a minute.” He breathed, the idea finally dawning on him. “Wesley…. He wasn’t the mixed breed I remembered.  That other guy-“

“He’s dead.”

Oh. Well, that’s just bloody great. Spike sat back watching as she crossed her arms, hugging herself. “Oh.” He ventured, feeling unusually sympathetic. “What, so you’ve got another idiot to replace the one you had before, is that it?”

She turned, frozen as her eyes flashed at him.

“Doyle wasn’t an idiot.”  She hissed.

Well, hello. Vixen had a bit of spirit, did she?

He regarded her for a minute. Her hazel eyes were dark with emotion and for once Spike didn’t feel like pressing the issue.

“Right.” He said after a moment. “Sorry.”  The word hadn’t left his mouth before he found his eyes widening  in shock. Did he just apologize? What the bloody-

He was Spike! Bad ass vampire! He didn’t apologize!

“Dammit.” He growled.

She looked up her hazel eyes sparkling with confusion. “What?”

“I’m a bloody sodden wimp.” He burst. “did you just hear me? I apologized!”

Her face was blank. “Yeah. So?”

“So I don’t do that! What the hell am I?! I used to be a bad ass vampire.” She raised an eyebrow, a placid and amused expression on her face as she proceeded to settle across from him.

“Oh, you ARE pathetic.” She remarked. “What so now you’re feeling sorry for yourself?”

He gave her an incredulous glance. “Listen, I think I have a bloody right! I was Spike! You remember!”

“You still are Spike.”

“I can’t even bite you.”

She gave him an even stare, her mouth twitching slightly as she smirked. “Do you want to?”

He gave her an even stare. “And what if I did?”

“Doesn’t matter, cause you can’t.” She smiled grandly. He glared at her and groaned. Rolling her eyes she handed him another handful of popcorn. “Listen to you. Get over it. So you used to be all evil.”

“I’m still evil.”

“Yeah, but you can’t do anything about it. So get over it.  I used to be rich and beautiful and popular.” Cordelia snapped, picking up a cup and looking at the remains, before grimacing quickly and putting it back. “Now I work for an undead vampire with a soul for minimum, have exactly ONE Friend, in the form of a sniveling ex watcher and get migraines the size of the Grand Canyon. You don’t hear me complaining.”

He gave her an incredulous look. “You bloody complain everyday!”

She raised a perfect eyebrow as she studied him. “You don’t know that.”  They gazed at each other, engaged in a staring match until he grimaced, glaring at her before looking away.

“Oh….sod off.” He mumbled finally, crossing his arms.

“Oh, poor baby. Now the little impotent vampire is sulking.”

“Shut up.”

“Whatever.” She looked at her watch and gazed anxiously at the door. Spike saw the movement and cocked his head.

“What’s got your goat?”

Seeing her expression, he smirked. “Worried about your friends?”

She sighed, shrugging. “Angel, Buffy and the gang engaged in an all out battle pretty much tends to worry me, yeah.”

He pursed his lips. “So why didn’t you go with them?”

She gave him an incredulous look, making Spike feel oddly as if she was wondering his exactly IQ size and was finding it rather lacking.  “Because I can’t help there. I’ll just get Angel and Wesley in trouble because they’ll be trying to protect me! Duh!”

“So? Xander goes and he fights like a woman.”

Her mouth twitched into a smile. “Runs like one too.”  He snorted, choking on the popcorn he had stuffed into his mouth.  She shrugged. “Though he IS a good guy.”

“He’s a moron.”

“Is not.”

“Is too. Him and that little girlfriend of his, sex is all they’re good for around here.”

Her smile faded, and his eyes narrowed. “Did you and him…”

She rolled her eyes when she saw the pantomime he was  insinuating. “None of your business.”

“It’s a simple question. Did you or didn’t you shag?”

“Like I’m going to tell you.” She murmured, averting his eyes and flushing as she fidgeted.

Instantaneously he knew the answer. His jaw dropped. “You mean you and that moron never bloody had sex?”

She blushed heavily, and nudged the vampire quickly. “No, okay?” She finally hissed. “We never did.”

The look on his face indicated he was shocked. He continued to stare at her, and then finally just shook his head. “Stupid sod.”

Her gaze was surprised. “What?”

“Well, if it was me, I would have tried to score in the first week at least. Have you looked in the mirror lately?”

“Yeah, like five minutes ago, what’s your point?” She looked panicked as her hands rose to her face. “Why? Do I have something on my face?”

“You’re a bloody gorgeous vixen, is my point.” He responded. “And he’s an idiot.”

She stared at him for a long time, searching his face for any sign that he was joking, being sarcastic. Spike merely stared at her right back, his gaze unwavering.

He really was pretty hot when she thought about it. His eyes were deep, so deep and clear she felt she could see right into his soul.

Until she realized he had none.

Regardless, she felt a smile float on her face as he cocked his head to study her reaction. “Well, yeah.” She said, the smile wide and sincere.  “I could have told you that.”

He had the beginnings of a smirk on his face as he reached hand up and chucked her gently on the chin.  “Do me a favor, ducks.” He said softly. “Keep smiling. You’ve got a killer smile.”

Boy did this guy know how to charm your socks off or what? Cordelia shook her head in confusion, leaning back as she curled up on the couch.

“You called me a vixen.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, you’re a vixen.”

“That’s a new phrase.”

“Really? What do you usually hear?”

Her lips curved. “Bitch.”

They stared at each other and suddenly burst into laughter. “Well, that fits too.” He said.

She narrowed her eyes and smacked his shoulder.  “And I’m damn proud of it.”  She remarked. “It’s saved my ass.”

The look she received was on of startled surprise.  “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Evil ghost lady. Long story.”

He shook his head. “So, you’ve outwitted bad ass vampires, evil ghost lady’s and Angel’s broody moods.”

She grinned proudly. “Sounds like a hell of a lot, doesn’t it?”

“Not nearly as much as me. You’re an amateur, vix.” He pronounced.

“Hey!” She looked offended. “I’ll have you know I’ve kicked tons of ass, and I’ve stood up to lots of  bad things!”

“You’ve done it all, ey?”


“Prove it.” He drawled.

Her eyes glinted with challenge. “Okay, what?”

“Kiss me.”  Her smile faded immediately.


The blonde vampire leaned back, eyeing her up and down with no attempt to hide the sultry glint in his eyes.

“Well we need someway to pass the time. You already ruined Felicity.”

“I’m not going to make out with you!”

“Oh, come on ducks. You know you want to.”

“I do not! You’re dead.”

“You’ve never kissed a dead guy before?”

She began to shake her head fervently, but  a thought forced her to freeze the moment in mid air. “Damn.” She whispered.

His eyes widened. “You HAVE?”

She raised a hand. “That doesn’t mean-“

He cut her off then, as he lunged forward, his lips covering hers and quickly moving over them possessively, urging them to respond.

Shock flitted her senses, a gasp at the coldness, then a sigh when his kiss became deeper. Cordelia found herself closing her eyes, felt her hands sliding up his chest and around his neck, found herself giving just as much as she was receiving.

There was absolute silence when slowly, he pulled away, his eyes dark with desire as he studied her face, inches from his.

“See?” He gave her a delightful smile that bordered on scoundrel. “Wasn’t that bad.”

Her eyes seemed to sparkle when she whispered. “No, I guess it’s not that bad.”


“Score one for the good guys.” Xander quipped one tired arm wrapped around Anya as they walked up the steps.

“I still can’t believe you left Cordelia in there alone with Spike.” Angel hissed at Giles.

Rupert just rolled his eyes. “Spike is completely harmless. XANDER beat him to a bloody pulp.”


“Stop sounding like that’s such a crazy idea.” Xander called out behind him.

Angel rolled his eyes and was about to retort when Xander entered and stood stock still.

Angel’s face froze. “What? Is Cordelia okay?”

“Okay. This is unusual.” Xander breathed. Anya only cocked her head.

Buffy blinked once, then  again.

“What?” Angel came forward, pushing past them and looking at the scene.

His jaw dropped.

Spike was asleep on the couch, and his head was nestled quite comfortably on Cordelia’s lap, who at that moment was engrossed in a book.

Cordelia looked up and quickly raised a finger to her lips when Xander’s mouth opened.

“Shh!” She hissed, gently moving Spike’s head away and getting up. “He just went to sleep and if you wake him up I’m going to kick everyone’s asses.”

“You put him to sleep?” Buffy looked seriously disturbed.  “Cordelia we didn’t mean literally baby sit him!”

She rolled her eyes and headed to Angel who was watching her strangely. “Did we win?”

“Yes, actually.” Wesley puffed up with pride.

“Yeah, he did a great job of slipping and falling on his face.” Xander said, smacking the former Watcher on  the back as he went around him.

Cordelia gave her ex boyfriend a glare before turning back to Angel.“So we’re going?”

“Not yet.” Angel said. “Giles wants to talk to you about the visions.” When she gave him an even stare he just shook his head. “It’s for the best, Cordelia.”

She looked down, and sighed. “Fine. Whatever, but I’m not getting mushy.”

Angel nodded. “I told him I’d treat to dinner. I figured, public place.”

“Easier for them not to pry.” She agreed.  “Thanks.”

He nodded, squeezing her arm. “Let me just talk to Giles about this and we’ll go. Wesley, go start the car.”


There was talking left and right, and people walking about, and suddenly Cordelia found herself alone again.

Oh, God. She had kissed a vampire. Two. Eww.

“That was quite the pity party.” He drawled suddenly. She froze, turning and finding his eyes open, staring at her with an unreadable expression.

She shrugged, leaning against the door.  “I’m good at those.”

“So, was babysitting Spikey wikey good for you?” He drawled.

Her eyes narrowed and she glared at him.

When she didn’t answer he grinned wickedly sitting up.  “Admit it, you had a good time here with me.”

“Not likely.”

“I don’t recall you complaining when I stuck my tongue down your-“

“Stop.” She cut him off, shaking her head ruefully. “You are such a pig.”

“No, I just drink their blood.”

“Oh, eww. Great mental image. Thank you!” Her hand rose to her lips, wiping them in disgust.

Watching her, he cocked his head. “Cordelia?”

She stopped her movements when she realized his voice had gone quite soft.

At her perplexed glance, he gave her a charming smile. “Goodnight.”

The sincerity in his voice made her smile disappear, made her watch him with a wary but pleasantly surprised expression.

And then she smiled, that dazzling smile and her voice was calm, almost sweet.  “Good night, Spike.”

With that she turned, walking out the door and shutting it behind her.

Spike looked at the closed doors, lifted his fingers to trace his mouth, memories of her lips on his filling him with feelings he hadn’t felt for quite some time.

He had to admit. That was one captivating vixen.

“See you soon, vix.”