VIGIL
By Amy Bower
 rewob@adiis.net

Rating: PG
Set during what would be the end of the 5th season.
Summary:  Tom lies in Sickbay and B'Elanna waits by his 
side waiting to see if he will live or die.  
Disclaimer:  The usual, no infringement on Paramount is 
intended

Author's note: This was written 10/15/97 and is my first 
attempt at fan fiction.  I have others, but I want to see 
how this does first…  Feel free to email to tell me what 
you think (rewob@adiis.net).  Feel free to get yourself a 
copy if you like it that much, but please leave my name 
attached.  Thanks! 


As soon as B’Elanna Torres’ duty shift in Engineering 
ended, she made her way to Sickbay.  She had been spending 
all of her free time there for almost a week only leaving 
for her duty shifts or when someone forced her to eat or 
sleep.
“Good evening, Lieutenant Torres.”  The doctor didn’t even 
look up from his patient on the biobed as she entered.
“Doctor” she acknowledged.  “Any change?”  B’Elanna moved 
to the end of the biobed to look at the man who had been 
lying there for the better part of a week.
“I’m afraid Mr. Paris’ condition is unchanged.  He is 
stable, but still in a coma.”
Torres nodded.  She had asked the same question every time 
she came, but the answer was frustratingly the same.  The 
only good thing was that when he had first arrived in 
Sickbay, Tom had been in much worse shape.  The Doctor had 
almost lost him twice during the initial operation, but by 
some miracle had brought him back.  Three more surgeries 
had been needed to stabilize him, and now anything anyone 
could do was to wait.  B’Elanna pulled up the chair that 
was kept off to the side for her visits.
“I’ll deactivate myself now, but if you need anything at 
all, feel free to reactivate me.”  The Doctor put his hand 
lightly on her shoulder as he spoke.
“Thanks, Doc.”  B’Elanna looked up at him and tried to 
smile as he deactivated his program.
B’Elanna put her right hand on Tom’s and with her left 
gently brushed aside a lock of his hair that was out of 
place.  She lightly stroked his forehead with the back of 
her hand then caressed his cheek.
“Tom, it’s me.  I really wish you’d wake up and talk to me.  
I need you to wake up…” her voice trailed off as she tried 
to keep from crying.  The doctor had said that talking to 
him might help.  Usually, she just told him about the day’s 
events in Engineering and sometimes she’d even talk of her 
past – though she found that just as difficult now when he 
was unconscious as when he was awake and interested.  She 
liked to think that it helped; it certainly helped her 
though she longed to hear the sound of his voice.
“B’Elanna?”
She whirled around to see Harry standing at the foot of 
the biobed.  She hadn’t heard him come in she was so 
deep in thought.
“You okay?”  Harry asked as he moved closer.
“Hi, Harry.  Yeah, I’m okay.  I guess.”  She sighed.  
Harry looked at her and she could tell by the look on his 
face that he didn’t believe her.  That was okay, she didn’t 
believe herself.  She looked down at Tom then back to 
Harry, tears streaming down her face.
“Oh, Harry.  I’m not okay.  I haven’t been okay since this 
whole thing happened.  I come in here every day and I see 
him lying there like he’s going to wake up any time, but 
I’m beginning to wonder if that’s ever going to happen.”
“B’Elanna, we can’t start thinking like that.  I know it’s 
hard, but we have to believe that he will wake up and 
everything will be all right.”  Harry put a hand on her 
shoulder, and when she looked up she saw that he had tears 
in his eyes as well.  She stood up and they put their arms 
around each other in mutual grief.
“I miss him, Harry.  I miss him so much, and I feel so 
useless.  There’s nothing I can do – nothing anyone can 
do.”
“That’s not true, B’Elanna.”  Harry took a step back so he 
could look at her.  “If anyone can help him, it’s you.  You 
know Doc said that talking to him could help, and if 
anyone’s going to bring him around, you will.  He’s strong 
and somehow he’ll pull through, we just have to hang on and 
keep believing that.”
“You’re right, Starfleet, but patience isn’t always one of 
my strong suits – Tom knows that.  That’s probably why he’s 
waiting so long to come around.”  B’Elanna attempted a 
smile.
Harry answered her with a smile and a pat on the shoulder.  
They were still very worried, but they knew they could 
count on each other to get through this ordeal.  Just as 
they finished speaking, they heard the doors to Sickbay 
open.  Neelix walked in with a tray of food.
“The computer told me I’d find you two here.”  He greeted 
them.  “How’s Tom?”
“Same.”  Harry answered.  “What brings you here this 
late, Neelix?”
“I noticed the two of you didn’t get any dinner this 
evening so I thought I would bring you some.  I haven’t 
been seeing either one of you much lately – especially you, 
Lieutenant.”  Neelix explained as he uncovered the tray of 
food he had brought for them.
“I haven’t been very hungry lately, Neelix.  Thanks for 
going to all the trouble tonight, but I really don’t feel 
like eating right now either, okay?”  B’Elanna sounded very 
weary.
“I understand that you are very worried about Tom, as we 
all are, and I’ve noticed that you humans and, er, Klingons 
don’t eat when you’re worried, but I also know that Tom 
wouldn’t want you to starve on his account.”  Neelix handed 
them each a plate.
Torres picked at her food, but it had been days since she 
had eaten a proper meal so she finished her dinner in short 
order.  In fact, she noticed that the food didn’t have much 
taste if she didn’t think about it.  Maybe the key to 
eating Neelix’s cooking was to be too preoccupied to think 
about it – she’d have to remember to tell Tom – when he 
woke up.
“Thanks, Neelix.”  B’Elanna said as she handed back her 
empty plate.  “It was really sweet of you to bring us 
supper.”
“I just wanted to make sure everyone was okay.  I hadn’t 
seen Tom yet today so I thought I’d check on him at the 
same time.  I must be going.  Remember to stop in for 
breakfast in the morning.”  Neelix bustled out the door.
“Uh, I think I’m going to go… If you’ll be okay here by 
yourself.  I can stay if you want.”  Harry offered.
“No, Harry.  I’m okay, really.  Go to bed.  I’ll see you at 
tomorrow’s briefing.”  B’Elanna assured him.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.  I’m just going to stay a little longer.  I’ll 
be fine, really, and Harry… thanks.”
Harry smiled and gave her a parting squeeze on the shoulder 
before quietly exiting Sickbay leaving B’Elanna alone with 
Tom again.
The doctor reactivated himself at 0600 to find Lieutenant 
Torres still sitting by Tom’s side.  She appeared to be 
sleeping.  The doctor approached the biobed to check Mr. 
Paris’ readings, and as he did so, B’Elanna stirred and 
woke up.
“Good morning, Lieutenant.  I can’t say I’m surprised to 
find you still here.”  The doctor had found her there every 
morning since the accident and no matter how many times he 
recommended she go to her own quarters to sleep, she 
refused and had also rejected any attempts to be given a 
sedative that would help her rest.
“Doctor.”  B’Elanna stood up to stretch and to give the 
Doctor room to work.  She watched as he checked readings 
and pressed a hypospray to Tom’s neck.  “What’s that for?”
“It’s a tri-ox compound.  His respiration rate is a little 
lower than I like to see.”  The Doctor explained.
“Is that bad?”  The worry on B’Elanna’s face increased a 
notch and she stepped to the head of the biobed and placed 
her hands on Tom’s head to caress his forehead.
“It’s probably nothing, but I’ll keep an eye on him today 
to make sure.”  The doctor assured her.  “If I’m not 
mistaken, there’s a briefing this morning.  I suggest you 
go get something to eat and freshen up before it begins.”
“I guess I should.  You’ll let me know if there are any 
more changes?”  B’Elanna asked, worry etched deep on her 
face.
“Of course, Lieutenant.  Don’t worry, he’s in good 
hands.”
B’Elanna appreciated the doctor’s attempt at lightening the 
mood, but she could only bring herself to nod.  She looked 
down at Tom again, kissed him gently on the forehead and 
quietly left Sickbay to get ready for the briefing.
Captain Kathryn Janeway watched as her senior staff filed 
in for the morning briefing.  She could always judge the 
mood of her officers just by how they walked in the door.  
This morning was not encouraging, especially when she saw 
Ensign Kim and Lieutenant Torres enter.  Neither of them 
had looked happy for days, but today they looked especially 
harried, and Janeway couldn’t blame them.  She had visited 
Sickbay several times in the past few days and was well 
aware of Mr. Paris’ condition as well as the many visits 
B’Elanna had been making.  She also knew that today would 
be the hardest yet on B’Elanna as she had no duty shift and 
also for what the day would have brought had the accident 
never happened.
“Well, why don’t we begin now that we’re all here.”  
Janeway tried to keep her voice light to draw attention 
away from the empty chair at the end of the table.  The 
briefing contained all of the usual items: status of ship’s 
systems, results of landing party findings, etc.  Just as 
the briefing was winding down, the doctor’s image appeared 
on the monitor.
“Captain, I’m sorry to interrupt your briefing, but I think 
that you and Lieutenant Torres should come down to 
Sickbay.”  The Doctor requested.
“Thank you, Doctor.  We’re on our way.”  Janeway ended the 
briefing with that and headed to Sickbay with a very 
worried Lieutenant Torres.
When they entered Sickbay, they saw the Doctor standing by 
Tom’s biobed staring at one of the monitors.
“Doctor?”  Captain Janeway spoke.
“Captain.”  The Doctor turned from the panel to look at the 
two officers.  “I’m very sorry, Lieutenant, but I’m afraid 
Mr. Paris’ vital signs have slipped dramatically since you 
left this morning.  I’m afraid we’re losing him.
B’Elanna never took her eyes off Tom’s face as the doctor 
explained.  It suddenly seemed to her that there was no one 
else in the universe except her and Tom.  She moved over to 
his side and took his right hand in both of hers.
The Doctor took Captain Janeway into his office to speak 
with her privately.  “I don’t think he’s going to make it 
through the day at the rate he’s slipping.  There’s nothing 
more I can do for him.”
“I understand, Doctor.  Thank you for informing us quickly.  
I would appreciate it if you would allow B’Elanna to stay 
and inform me as soon as… it’s over.”  Janeway struggled to 
find the words as her mind was still adjusting to the 
Doctor’s news.  One thought that kept running through her 
head was that she wished Tom’s father could have known the 
man Tom had turned out to be.
B’Elanna sat alone with Tom trying to bring her emotions 
under control.  Despite the fact that she had been half 
expecting the Doctor’s announcement, she couldn’t stop the 
feeling that the universe had just collapsed all around 
her, and there was nothing she could do.  Her Klingon half 
wanted to find a bulkhead to rip apart to vent her rage, 
but she was able to keep it in check.  She stared intently 
at Tom’s face clutching his hand as if that alone could 
save him.
“Tom, I have no idea what to say, and you can’t hear me 
anyway, but…” B’Elanna’s voice checked, but she kept going.  
“I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.  Tom, I’m 
going to miss you so much.  I already miss you.  You have 
no idea how hard it is to see you lying there and not be 
able to help you.  You have helped me so much especially 
these last few years, and now when you need me the most, I 
can’t do a thing.  Why today?  Why you?  Tom… you can’t 
die.  You can’t!  We were supposed to be married today!”  
She had to do something so she got up to pace the floor.  
She paced to the other end of Sickbay and stared at the 
wall.  She took aim at the wall with her fist, but halfway 
through her punch she stopped, lowered herself to the floor 
and sat down and wept uncontrollably.
The Doctor had been keeping an eye on Tom’s readings from 
the monitor in his office.  He had also kept an eye on 
B’Elanna; he had no idea what she would do.  He saw her 
sink against the wall and begin to sob.  He let her be for 
now, it was good for her to work through her feelings 
alone.
B’Elanna spent the next several hours sitting by Tom’s 
side.  She held his hand, talked to him and occasionally 
touched his cheek.  Eventually, the lack of sleep, stress 
and grief of the past few hours and days caught up with her 
and she fell asleep with her head on Tom’s biobed.
The doctor checked his readings and then checked them 
again.  Tom’s vital signs had increased tremendously – 
especially respiration and brain activity.  He went out to 
look for himself but without disturbing B’Elanna.  She 
didn’t need to be disappointed if her was wrong.  He looked 
– he was not wrong.  Tom was waking up.
“B’Elanna.  B’Elanna!”  The Doctor shook her shoulder 
until she lifted her head.
“Doctor?”  What is it?  Is he…” B’Elanna braced herself 
for the answer.
“B’Elanna, I believe Mr. Paris is waking up.  Perhaps if 
you talked to him, it would bring him around sooner.”  The 
Doctor explained.
“What?”  B’Elanna felt as if she had missed something.
“Talk to him, Lieutenant.  Let him hear your voice.”
“Tom?  Tom, it’s me.  B’Elanna.  Can you hear me?  Tom, 
please wake up.  I love you.”  B’Elanna gripped his hand 
willing him to open his eyes.
“Again, Lieutenant.”  The Doctor urged.
“Tom, it’s me.  Please wake up.  Please.  You have to 
wake up.  You can’t leave me!  Tom, wake up!”  She 
pleaded.
Tom’s eyes began to flicker and finally open.  Eventually, 
he was able to focus on B’Elanna’s face and smile.  
“B’Elanna.”  He whispered.  She had never heard anything so 
wonderful.
A day had never passed more slowly for Captain Janeway.  
After she had left Sickbay, she quietly informed the rest 
of the senior staff of the Doctor’s prognosis.  She had 
offered Mr. Kim the day off, but he had insisted on working 
his duty shift.  She had been impressed at how he was 
holding up, but she noticed that he avoided looking at the 
Conn.  In fact, she was also finding it difficult to see 
Ensign Baytard there.  She tried not to jump as her comm 
badge chirped.
“Janeway here.”  She answered.  The sudden stillness on the 
bridge was unnerving, and she couldn’t help but notice 
Harry had stopped what he was doing to listen.
“Captain, I believe you may want to come down to Sickbay.  
Mr. Paris is awake.”  The Doctor informed her.
“Awake?”  Janeway looked over at Harry and saw her surprise 
mirrored on his face.  “Of course, Doctor.  I’ll be right 
there.  Janeway out… Mr. Kim, perhaps you would like to 
join me.”
“Thank you, Captain.”  Harry gratefully accepted.
“Commander, the bridge is yours.”  Janeway exchanged a 
relieved, happy smile with her first officer and headed for 
the turbolift with Ensign Kim.
As Janeway and Kim entered Sickbay, the first thing they 
noticed was the atmosphere.  It no longer had the feel of a 
death room.  They walked over to where the Doctor and 
B’Elanna were standing by Tom’s biobed.
“Hey, buddy!”  Harry greeted Tom.  “You’re looking 
wonderful!”
“Thanks, Harry.”  Tom’s voice held that note of sarcasm 
that no one had expected to hear again.  “I’ve felt 
better.”
“Welcome back, Mr. Paris.”  Janeway put a hand on 
B’Elanna’s shoulder as she spoke.  “You’ve had us all 
pretty worried.”
“Sorry, Captain.”  Something about the way she said it made 
him wonder.  “How long has it been?  What day is it?”  He 
looked at the four of them for an answer.
“You’ve been in Sickbay for six days.”  The Doctor 
informed him.
“Six days…” Tom shut his eyes and concentrated for a 
moment.  “But that would make today… Oh, B’Elanna, it’s 
not… today’s not…”
B’Elanna nodded and smiled, “Ssh, it’s okay, Tom.  Don’t 
worry about it.”  The others moved over to the Doctor’s 
office to allow them some privacy.  Tom and B’Elanna didn’t 
notice.
“B’Elanna, I am so sorry.”  Tom’s voice though weak was 
still heavy with regret.
“There is nothing to be sorry about, Tom.  We can still get 
married.  It just won’t be today.”  B’Elanna’s eyes began 
to sparkle.  “You’re not getting out of it that easily, 
Thomas Eugene Paris!”
“Yes, Ma’am!”  Tom grinned and squeezed her hand.
“You had me so scared, Tom.  You have no idea…” 
B’Elanna’s voice broke as tears streamed down her 
face.
“Ssh,” Tom reached a hand up to brush away the tears and 
then tilted her head to look deep into her eyes.  “You 
saved me, B’Elanna.  I could feel your presence… your love, 
and I knew I couldn’t leave you.  I love you, B’Elanna 
Torres, and I want to marry you more than anything in the 
world.”  He gave her his lopsided grin that never failed to 
make her heart flutter, “but I think we may have to wait a 
few days.  I don’t think I can walk down the aisle right 
now, let alone anything else!”
B’Elanna returned his grin with her scowl that always drove 
him nuts.  “You just worry about getting better, Tom.  We 
can discuss the, uh, wedding plans later.”
Tom returned her smile and realized all over again how 
much he loved her.
“B’Elanna,” The Doctor interrupted.  “I’m sorry, but Mr. 
Paris needs his rest – as do you.”
“Right, Doc.”  B’Elanna answered without taking her eyes 
off Tom.  She leaned over to kiss him gently before 
allowing the Doctor to press a hypospray to his neck.  She 
watched his eyes close again, but this time she didn’t 
worry.