Standard Disclaimer: Paramount owns the USS Voyager and her crew. Her crew is played by a wonderful group of actors and actresses, and  Robert Duncan McNeill and Roxann Dawson bring to life our two favorites, giving them such passion for life and each other, that we can't resist playing with them too. I promise to return them when I'm done, and am not fool enough to ever think of making any a profit with Paramount's toys.Author's Note: I wrote this one in response to a challenge by Tara, the Loony Archivist for the P/T Collective. 'Why is Tom claustrophobic?' she asked. Well here's one possible answer. Hopefully it'll also answer a few other questions, too. Thanks go to VoyBoyToy, DangerMom, Jamelia and Homespon, and of course, m'Lady Wife Janette. Also a warning, have thy tissues handy.Trapped(VOY, P/T, PG)Chris Dionneccdionne@aol.com06/05/98"Perhaps you do not like to be alone."I was so thankful that Seven had said that. It gave me the chance to latch onto something somewhat believable, and not have to dredge up the real reason I couldn't stand being in the stasis tubes. I was about to say that she was right, that I couldn't stand to be alone, when I felt B'Elanna take my hand under the table.Looking over at her, I saw the promise in her eyes, there was no need for her to say it aloud: "You'll never have to be alone again." It was almost too much for me. I squeezed back, and started to say it, those three words I hadn't been able to bring myself to tell her aloud. "I love you." Such simple words, but with so much meaning, and so important to hear."I--," I hesitated as the damned nightmare image came back. Just like always, as soon as I started to tell B'Elanna how much I loved her, it swam before my eyes, and I froze, unable to say it. I know it's a foolish, superstitious thing, but I just knew, deep down inside, that if I told her, it would happen all over again. I couldn't live through it, not again. So, instead, I changed my reply. "--I'm just glad you and the Doc were there to put me back in, Seven. I'd hate to have died over something as silly as sleepwalking."For a minute, I didn't think they would buy it. Even Seven was looking at me as though she knew I wasn't telling the truth. And B'Elanna, she just tightened her grip on my hand, and another message was clear in her eyes: "We'll talk about it later, when you're ready." Aloud, she played along with me. "Yes, Seven, I owe you my thanks, too."Seven turned to B'Elanna, her head tilted slightly to the side. "Why should you--?" she cut herself off in mid-question, and I swear I could see her eyes widen a bit as she realized why B'Elanna would be thanking her for saving me. I could see the words forming, and knew that if she said them, there would be no telling how B'Elanna would take it. "I see, you wish to thank me for saving your--" Here it comes. If she says "mate" I think I'm going to have to try and restrain B'Elanna. "--engines from undue damage during the passage. You are welcome, Lieutenant."I almost missed B'Elanna telling Seven to call her by her name when they were off duty in my shock over the fact that she appeared to be developing some tact. Harry was grinning from ear to ear, he must have been expecting the same thing I was. At least I knew it wasn't only me who thought the worst."Actually, Seven, I wanted to thank you for what you did with the life support systems. It took a lot of courage to cut your own life support to try and save the rest of us. And I'm--" I caught the slight hesitation in B'Elanna's voice, but I don't think the others did. This was harder for her than they knew. She was actually admitting that she had misjudged Seven, and it was a stain on her honor. Before the Day, it wouldn't have mattered that much to her, but since then she had placed a good deal more value on it than she ever had in her life. "--glad that you survived it. You're a valuable member of the crew, Seven. And I hope that we can be friends."Harry's jaw nearly hit the floor as B'Elanna extended her other hand across the table to Seven. I squeezed her hand, giving her the support that I could, while she waited as Seven stared down at her hand, and then slowly reached out and clasped it."I do not truly comprehend 'friendship' yet. But I would like to try and learn.""Well, I think we're making a good start here," Harry chimed in.I had to agree. As B'Elanna released Seven's hand and sat back, it looked like everything in my world was going well. I had been a bit worried about how B'Elanna would react to the offer I had made Seven a while back, when I told her I knew what it was like to be the outsider, and would help her any way I could. Fortunately, that never came up, since she turned to Harry instead.I could tell that the moment was becoming a bit much for B'Elanna, and for Seven. The one was uncomfortable showing how deeply she felt--so like me--and the other was so new to feelings that she didn't know how to handle them. I did what came naturally; I fell back on old skills, and filled the void. "Well, folks, as 'restful' as the stasis chambers were supposed to be, I'm looking forward to a night's sleep in a real bed, in my quarters," I said, standing and picking up my tray. "Besides, we've all got the early shift tomorrow."B'Elanna rose with me, and we all said our goodnights. On the way out of the mess hall, she leaned in close to me and whispered just loud enough for me to hear. "I know you're not that tired, Flyboy. How about a backrub and a cup of tea before bed?""For you, or me?" I asked."Both," she answered as we stepped into the lift. "You first, though.""Deck five," I called out, causing B'Elanna to look up at me questioningly. "The massage oil is in your quarters, remember?"Her eyes gleamed as she remembered the last time we had used the oil before being put in stasis. "You're right, it is."We were quiet the rest of the way to her cabin. I'm not sure what she was thinking, but I was trying not to cling to her. I just couldn't get that damned image out of my head, and needed the reassurance of her touch. She seemed to understand, or felt the same, because she stepped in close and wrapped an arm around my waist, not letting go until we had entered her quarters. And only then because we had to change out of our uniforms, her into a short silk robe leaving her legs wondrously bare, and me into a pair of shorts she had replicated for me that matched the robe.I couldn't resist wrapping my arms around her and pulling her in for a kiss. The feel of her silk-covered skin was unbelievably arousing to me, and to her too if the passion she returned my kiss with was any indication. All too soon, she broke off the kiss, and leaned back away from me."There's time enough for that later, Helmboy," she teased me, her tongue running along her upper lip. "Get on the bed."I couldn't resist an opening like that, not from B'Elanna. I crawled up from the foot of the bed until I could rest my elbow against one of her pillows, then twisted around, leaning my head on my hand, and bending my right knee, hooking my foot behind my left. "Is this the way you want me?"Oh, how I loved that fire in her eyes! And to know that I put it there, that that passion was reserved for me--well, maybe for her engines, too--made everything else in the galaxy seem unimportant. When I saw B'Elanna like that, I didn't care about being in the Delta Quadrant, or flying, or my father, or anything except being with her. Then she exercised some of that iron control of hers, stopping herself in mid-lunge to put me in my place."That's a nice pose, Tom. Do you want to be my little Orion slave-boy?" she taunted me, moving to kneel on the end of the bed, the massage oil in her hand. "Now quit clowning and roll over!" She punctuated that one with a slap to my thigh, a sure signal that it would be a Klingon sort of night later, after we had talked.She wasn't fooling me, I knew that there was an ulterior motive to this massage. She wanted the truth about why I couldn't stand being in the stasis tubes and was going to get me relaxed enough to be honest about it. I grinned to myself as I rolled over and folded my hands under my chin, resting them on the pillow. That was another thing I loved about B'Elanna, she knew when to push me about something, and when to wait. Of course, sometimes our timing was a bit out of synch, but generally she was right on. I wasn't sure whether this was one of those times though. Even as I felt her move up to kneel astride my hips, and start working my lower back, that damned dream came back to haunt me.I tried my best to relax, to drive the images out of my mind, but they just wouldn't cooperate tonight. Even B'Elanna's hands sensuously working the tension out of my back couldn't help. And when I felt her hands begin to massage my shoulders, and her surprise at feeling the tension still in them after working on me for almost ten minutes, I knew she wasn't going to wait any more."All right, Tom," she said, her fingers still trying to coax me into relaxing. "I've never known anything to bother you this far into a massage. What is it?" She wasn't playing fair. That last bit had been whispered into my ear, her breath caressing my cheek, and her scent filling my senses."It's noth--" I almost lied to her, but even before her fingers tightened on my shoulders I pushed that instinct away. I lifted my hips a bit, and she took the hint, rising up so that I could roll over underneath her, and pull her down, cuddling her to my chest."Tom?" she asked softly, looking up to try and see into my eyes. I was staring straight up at the ceiling, and just shook my head."Give me a second, B'Elanna, please."She assented with a sigh, hugging me close and resting her head on my chest. It was exactly what I needed. I drew strength from her nearness, from the warmth of her body soaking into me, and gentle rhythmic stroking of her hand on my arm."It--I've never told this to anyone, B'Elanna. Not my family, or the Starfleet counselors, or even Sandrine. It's always been too painful, too close, no matter how much time has passed." I wrapped my arms tight around her, needing to hold her. As painful as this was going to be, I owed it to her. After all she had done for me, become for me, I had to tell her."Is there anything I can do, Tom? To make it easier?""Just hold me. Hold me and be with me.""I will, always," she said, placing a kiss on my neck. "I'm not going anywhere.""You asked me why I couldn't stand being in the stasis tubes, and I know you've wondered what happened to me at Caldik Prime, what really happened. It's all part of the same thing, B'Elanna." I took a deep breath, and allowed the memories to wash over me. Her cabin faded away from me, to be replaced by the shuttle, and the noises of the three passengers sharing it with me. The only thing that tied me to the present was the feeling of B'Elanna in my arms; the rest of me was years in the past as I began to tell her what she wanted and deserved to know."After I'd completed my first assignment as a junior helm officer, I was ordered to deliver a long range shuttle to the outpost on Caldik Prime. I had three passengers, Ensigns Jack Howell and Samuel Beston who were transferring to the outpost there and Lt(jg) Dayna MacBride--she and I would be met by the Exeter, our next duty assignment. It looked to be an easy trip, we all knew each other, having served together. Dayna was my copilot, she had gotten her promotion just a few minutes after I did, so technically I was the senior officer. God, she loved to tease me about that."I felt B'Elanna tense a bit, almost as if she knew what Dayna had meant to me without my needing to say it. But then she settled back down, and I continued the story."Everything was going well. Jack would spell me at the helm, and Dayna and I would head back to the sleeping area to talk about our assignment, our careers, where we wanted to be and what we wanted to be doing in a few years."B'Elanna shifted again, raising up to look in my eyes. "You loved her, didn't you?" she asked, hesitantly."I--yes, I did. I think she was the first woman I truly loved, once I knew what love really meant." B'Elanna interrupted me by kissing me softly, then snuggling back down."You don't have to tell me this, Tom."I held her tight, silently thanking her for understanding. "No, I want you to know. I need to tell you this, B'Elanna." She hugged me back, and waited for me to continue."With Susie it was more of a teenage thing, we really didn't understand the commitments we were playing with, but Dayna and I...we knew what we were doing. We were actually starting to plan a life together. Then it happened.""The crash?" B'Elanna whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear."Yes. We were approaching Caldik, there was a minor ion storm in the area, but nothing that a shuttle couldn't fly through. As we were crossing the terminator into the night side something went wrong. I still don't know why it happened, but the starboard nacelle suddenly went to full power, and I couldn't shut it down. It threw us into a spin, and the only thing I could think to do was try and cut power to both nacelles and bring us out of it with just the thrusters. It was working, and I almost had control back, when I heard Dayna scream that we were going to hit. I had a split second to realize that I had been concentrating so much on getting us out of the spin, that I had ignored our flightpath. We were too close to the surface. What I was trying was the wrong maneuver. I should have let us spin off into space, out of the gravity well, then cut power. My last thought was that the crash was going to be my fault. I remember a huge noise, and then  nothing.""I must have blacked out, because the next thing I remember is waking up, hurting all over. The emergency lights were on, and everything was bathed in their red glow. To make it worse, all the lighting was coming from the floor. I looked around, and it took me a bit to figure out that the shuttle was lying on its roof.  I could barely see back into the rear compartment, but I saw enough to know that Jack hadn't even made it out of his bunk. It had collapsed on him. I knew he was gone from the way his head was turned."I must have shivered as the images flowed in front of me, because B'Elanna tightened her hold on me, and began to softly run her hand up and down my arm to soothe me."I tried to get up, and look for Sam and Dayna, but I couldn't move. Something had me pinned face down. I tried moving side to side. I was wedged in between the wall and what used to be the top of the pilot's chair. When the shuttle hit, it crushed the nose, and drove the chair through the deck. It was like being trapped in a hole. I couldn't move in any direction, and could only see what was directly in front of me. I called for the computer to transport me out into the main area but got no response. That's when I noticed that some of the lighting was showing more red than others. I stared back toward the rear seating area and noticed a pool of blood collecting by a shattered console. I couldn't see who it was under there, but I saw the blue of Sciences, so it had to be Sam. I called to him, hoping he was still alive, but there was no response."I paused and took a deep breath, remembering that feeling of hopelessness, of being trapped and all alone. If it hadn't been for B'Elanna holding me, I think I would have been sick. But her presence, the reassuring warmth of her, was keeping the fear under control."I had been calling for him, or for Dayna, for what seemed like hours; and I was just about ready to give up all hope, when I felt something brush against my right hand. 'Dayna?' I called her name, not believing it could be true, and felt her hand catch at mine. She was pinned somewhere to my right. I started trying to shift some of the debris between us so that I could see her. Once I did, I almost wished I hadn't. She was pinned like I was. There was a gash above her left eye. The worst thing, though, was that some piece of the console had broken off, and--" I felt the tears start as I saw Dayna again, pinned to the deck. B'Elanna tried to soothe me, murmuring softly, reminding me she was there with me. "--and it had gone into her back high up by her right shoulder. I--I knew it was bad, but I made myself look, and it--" I took another deep breath and let it all come out in a rush, the words, the tears, everything, holding B'Elanna as though my life depended on it. "--it was angled down through her back and I could see that it had gone clear through her and exited near me, by her hip.""As I looked over at her, Dayna managed to turn her head to face me, and she smiled. God, how could she smile at me, when she must have been in that much pain? 'Not your best landing ever, Tom,' she said to me. Her voice came out in a whisper, and she winced with the effort of talking.I tried to tell her not to talk, to save her energy. She gave me a lopsided smile and asked me if I really thought it would matter. She knew how badly she was hurt; she could feel how much blood was soaking into her uniform. 'Tom, I'm going to die today.' I tried to deny it, to tell her she wasn't going to, that the rescue ships would be here. I wrenched desperately at the damn chair that was pinning me down. I had to get to her, to help her.""Dayna watched me for a moment, then reached out and caught my hand again. 'Tom, don't. You're only hurting yourself.' I hadn't realized it until she said it, but I suddenly felt a searing pain in my back, and my legs began to go numb. 'Dayna, I can't get free. I can't get to you.' 'It's all right, Tom. But is it just me, or are the lights dimming?'""I looked around at the interior of the shuttle. She was right. The power cells were getting low. Whatever part of the computer was still operating was shifting the power to life support. I turned back to tell her it wasn't just her only to find her eyes closed. I shook her hand, and called her name. After a bit she slowly managed to open her eyes. 'Don't leave me, Dayna, please,' I begged her. 'Not like this. We've still got too much to do together.'""I could see the hurt flash across Dayna's face at that. A few tears trickled down her cheek. 'I'm afraid you'll have to find someone else to do those things with, Tom. I'm not going to get out of this one alive. But, hey, look at it this way, I'm going to get my wish.'""I couldn't believe how light her tone was, not when I knew she was only a few moments from dying. 'What wish, Day?'""She smiled at me one last time. 'I get to spend the rest of my life with you, Tom Paris.' I saw the pain coming as she forced herself to talk. 'I love you, Tom. Always remember that. And find yourself another woman to spend your life with. Make sure--' she coughed a bit, and I could see the blood. 'Make sure she's strong enough to keep you on your toes.' Those were the last words she said to me.""I watched in horror as the light dimmed in her eyes, and all I could do was hold her hand, and tell her how much I loved her, how much I already missed her. And shortly after her hand went completely limp in mine, and the lights faded out, leaving me alone. I was alone, trapped in the dark with nothing but my tears to keep me company. The only thing I could move was my arms. I knew that there was plenty of air left in the shuttle now that I was the only one alive, but it suddenly seemed like it was too thin to breathe. And the walls--even though I couldn't see them--the walls seemed to be closing in on me."I shuddered convulsively, nearly crushing B'Elanna as I came back out of the nightmare. "The next thing I remember is waking up with a doctor looking down on me and my father asking me what had happened."B'Elanna rose up and gently kissed away the tears I hadn't even noticed I had shed. "Oh, Tom. That's more than anyone should have to live through. No wonder you didn't like the stasis chambers.""It's not just that, B'Elanna," I whispered as she continued to hold me close and place feather light kisses on my cheeks. "Dayna was the last woman I ever said 'I love you' to. And once I had, she was taken from me. Ever since, I've been afraid to let myself care again. Until you," I caught her face between my hands, and kissed her, slowly, tenderly and thoroughly. "But I was still afraid that if I told you, I'd lose you, too."B'Elanna caught her breath and pulled back to look into my eyes. "Tell me what, Tom?""Tell you--" I stopped, the image of Dayna's face coming to me again. This time though, her eyes were open, full of life. She was smiling at me, telling me to "Go on, Tommy, tell her!". "Tell you how much I love you."The look on B'Elanna's face as she finally heard me say those words was indescribable. It was as though I had taken all the stars in the galaxy, wrapped them up, and given them to her. "I love you, too, Tom. And you don't have to worry about losing me. The two of us are so stubborn, there isn't anything in the galaxy strong enough to separate us now that we've found each other."My reply, whatever it might have been, was lost in her kisses as we celebrated our love. And I could swear that I saw Dayna's face one last time, smiling down on us as B'Elanna ordered the lights off.