I have recently noted other brave souls coming forward to publish their first attempts at Fanfic and so have finally worked up the nerve to do so myself. Last Novermber I jetted off to work in Africa for three months (with no cable TV - aaahhh!) and the last thing I saw was the episode of Voyager entitled "Scientific Method" which I loved. Having nothing to do but ponder on my days off, my first work of fiction came into being. At first I intended to show it to no one (Engineers inherently suck at writing and I didn't think I was an exception) but have been dying to get some feedback so here it is! Let me (jenmac@ican.net) know what you think, PLEASE! Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah Paramount owns all seems to work, so there you go. TAG TO SCIENTIFIC METHOD [I thought the Captain was a little rough on our favorite Lieutenants so I wrote a little apology. Then I got inspired and added a little J/C.:)] Tom Paris awoke with a start at the sound of the door chime. "What the ...? Come" he said before he could fully comprehend his situation. As he glanced over at the chronometer on his desk -- only 21:45?! -- he realized belatedly that he was not alone. B'Elanna's head rested gently on his shoulder and her arms encircled his waist. She was sound asleep. *That's right,* he thought, *dinner, wine, music and ... I guess we fell asleep on the couch.* "Hmph" he grunted aloud. *Way to go Paris,* he chided himself in disgust, *you sure know how to show a girl a good time.* The chime sounded again. "Come" he said, this time a little more forcefully. The doors swished open to reveal a rather frazzled -- and momentarily surprised -- looking Captain Janeway. "Mr. Paris, may I come in?" she asked hesitantly, noticing B'Elanna for the first time. "Of course, Captain" Tom replied giving B'Elanna a gentle shake. "B'Elanna" he said, stroking her hair lightly, "wake up, sleepy." B'Elanna's eyes fluttered open and she managed to get out a muffled "What?" between yawns before noticing the Captain. "Captain, I --" she stammered. "At ease, lieutenant" the Captain smiled. "I just wanted to have a word with you two." Tom and B Elanna looked at each other somewhat guiltily -- remembering the Captain's earlier words -- and were about to attempt an apology when the Captain raised her hand to forestall them. "Actually, I came to apologize." "For what?" they replied simultaneously. "For what I said this afternoon in the Conference Room. As you know, I wasn't quite myself" she finished with a grimace. "We were discussing that earlier Captain" said B'Elanna, "and we figured you were probably right." "We wanted to apologize to you for our behavior" acknowledged Tom. They looked so desperately sincere the Captain had to smile. *They do look good together,* she thought reluctantly, *and they seem so comfortable with each other. Still, they're both so vulnerable.* The captain dragged her thoughts back to the present and looked up at her worried lieutenants. "We'll call it even then, shall we?" she suggested. This elicited a relieved smile and a nod from Tom and B'Elanna, and everyone relaxed a bit. "Well, now that that s out of the way, you can tell me what s going on" continued the Captain. "Captain?" queried Tom, with a small frown. "With you two I mean" she clarified. "How long has this --" gesturing at their clasped hands "-- been going on?" Tom and B'Elanna looked down at their hands in mild surprise -- *when did that happen?* their mutual look said -- and B'Elanna replied, "I suppose only about a couple of weeks really," a bit uncertainly. The Captain looked unconvinced. "I don t mean to pry lieutenants. I guess I'm just a bit surprised." "Why?," Tom wanted to know, "Do you think its a bad idea?" "I suppose it's bound to happen" she sighed. "I just worry about you two so much as it is." "But why should this worry you?" B'Elanna asked a bit defensively. Tom squeezed her hand gently in support and again the Captain marveled at their rapport. She studied her two officers intently for a couple of minutes and, although they became a little uncomfortable under the scrutiny, they held her gaze and waited. Finally she broke the silence and said "I suppose I'm just worried about what kind of future you'll have, the whole crew will have, for that matter, being stranded here aboard Voyager." "Captain" said Tom, "I understand what you mean, but we can't just put our lives on hold indefinitely. We have to face the fact that we may not find a faster way home and may spend the better part -- or even the rest -- of our lives in the Delta Quadrant. Either aboard Voyager or on a planet. The future is always going to be uncertain, no matter were we are." The Captain leaned back in her chair and heaved a tired sigh. *He sounds like Chakotay,* she thought to herself. *Better not mention that fact the either one of them.* "I'm sure you're right Mr. Paris" she said aloud. "I guess I just feel its my responsibility to look after my crew." "We'll be fine," B'Elanna assured the Captain with a smile. B'Elanna felt a sudden need to connect with the Captain on a personal level. To reach out to this woman who safeguarded all their lives and bore the stress of having 147 people in her care. She suddenly felt guilty for all the times she'd doubted the Captain's abilities or questioned her reasons for doing things. Having closed her eyes in fatigue, Kathryn was surprised by the tentative touch on her hand. She opened her eyes to see B'Elanna's concerned countenance regarding her. "Captain," she began earnestly, "it's to your credit that two people as --" here she hesitated and glanced at Tom. He grinned and said "-- complicated?" with an arch of his eyebrow. "As complicated as Tom and I," she continued, "have come far enough to even contemplate such a change in our lives." "Think of what a pair we were three and a half years ago," Tom took up the cause. "Look at the progress we've made with ourselves, with each other. The whole crew has been bettered by our experiences here, and you've held us together through it all." The Captain had to smile at her lieutenants as they did their damnedest to comfort and reassure their superior. "Thanks for the vote of confidence you two but I'm still going to worry. Captain's prerogative." "Fine," conceded B'Elanna, "only let us worry about you too." "Deal," replied the Captain as she rose to leave. Tom and B'Elanna rose to see her out and B'Elanna surprised herself again by grasping the Captain's hand and offering a warm smile in farewell. "Goodnight, Captain." "Goodnight, Tom, B'Elanna. See you in the morning." As the door hissed shut, Tom glanced at B'Elanna in time to catch a hint of a frown creasing her face. He put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him. She leaned into the comfort of his embrace and wondered again at the luck that had brought them together. "What are you thinking B'Elanna?" asked Tom, his breath warm against her ear. "She seems so tired Tom. She needs someone to help carry the burden she bears but she'll never let anyone." Her grasp tightened as she said this and Tom realized just how much the Captain's plight was worrying her. "Well, we can help," he replied as he gently rubbed her back. "And you know," he couldn t resist adding, "I have a feeling Chakotay would do a lot more if she d let him." B'Elanna had to smile at this because she knew exactly what the innocent little comment was supposed to imply. She raised her head from Tom's shoulder to see his face lit by a rather smug little smile. "Why lieutenant, whatever do you mean?" she asked with wide-eyed innocence. Tom just grinned further and leaned down to offer a kiss. **************** Captain Janeway acknowledged the nods and "hellos" of Beta Shift as she headed for the turbolift. She was tired. There was no getting around it. The doctor was right, but she hated to admit it. *If only she had someone ...* But she curtailed that thought immediately because it always let to the same place. This time, however, the image of Mark was starting to fade, to be replaced by another, now infinitely more familiar. The Captain shook her head and wondered at her own emotions. *What the hell am I thinking,* she scolded herself angrily. *I'm the Captain and he's ... he's probably the only reason you re still sane,* she admonished herself. "Bridge," she said aloud as the lift doors closed. The lift hummed into motion obediently and Captain Janeway's thoughts continued to tumble about despite her best efforts to focus on something else. **************** Chakotay was shocked by the haggard visage that greeted him as the Captain looked up from her viewscreen at his entrance. Seeing his concern, she attempted a smile, which only made her look more wan. "What can I do for you Commander?" she inquired of her first officer. Chakotay had decided to take the direct approach and so plunged right in with "Kathryn, I'm worried about you. You look tired." Said in Chakotay's gentle unhurried manner, the statement had less of a sting than it might have done, coming from Tuvok or the Doctor. Kathryn, however, knew better than to underestimate his concern. Still, she wasn't ready to give in despite her fatigue. Why was everyone always on her case about her health? "I'm fine Chakotay," she said with what she hoped was a reassuring smile. "Besides, I'm not the one who took a premature leap into geriatrics. How are you feeling?" Chakotay was not deterred that easily. "I feel fine," he replied. "But I'm eating and sleeping on a regular basis. When was the last time you had a full meal sitting at a table or got more than four hours sleep at a time?" "Chakotay, I -" she began, but he plowed ahead, overriding her objections. "What good are you to this crew if you're a nervous wreck or falling asleep in the middle of a crisis?" At this, Kathryn's head snapped up and Chakotay wondered if he'd gone too far. There was no stopping now, but he raised a hand and bowed his head in submission. "I know you'd never let your crew down Kathryn," he placated her "but you can't baby-sit them twenty-four hours a day. They're a good crew and they know their jobs. But you have to let them - and me - look after you as well." This last was said almost as a plea, and Kathryn was surprised by the intensity she saw reflected in his soft brown eyes. "You sound just like Tom and B'Elanna," she said with a wry smile. "They said the same thing when I expressed some concern about them." "Well, they were right" Chakotay said bluntly. "You need a break. And if I have to get the Doctor to take you off duty, I ll do it." "Chakotay," she breathed in disbelief, "why are you being so stubborn about this?" "Because I don't want you wasting away on me. We need you in good health Kathryn." He paused for effect. "You don't want me running the ship do you?" The Captain feigned horrified shock at this, and actually laughed as Chakotay's serious expression dissolved into a dimpled grin. "Come on. We're well into Beta Shift and I'm sure you haven't had supper yet. I'll replicate you something nice and throw in some coffee with dessert." Chakotay held out his hand with a look that said *no arguments!* and stood waiting for her to rise. She stood and took the proffered hand with a resigned sigh and they made their way from the Ready Room to the Bridge. Chakotay did not release her hand as they entered, but pulled her directly toward the lift with a perfunctory "You have the Bridge, Mr. Tuvok" as they passed the security station. Tuvok simply raised an eyebrow at their haste and, with an "Aye, sir" made his way to the command chair. **************** Chakotay kept a firm grip on the Captain's hand as they made their way to her quarters. He was amazed at his own audacity, but was determined to see Kathryn fed and rested if he had to tie her to a chair and force feed her. Fortunately Kathryn did not protest, indeed has no energy to protest, and walked quietly at his side. The comfort of his soft, strong hand, the simple pleasure of human contact, evoked a feeling of well-being in Kathryn that she had not felt in a long time. The breach that had occurred between herself and Chakotay during negotiations with the Borg (and continued with the handling of Seven's integration) had been more painful than she cared to admit - even to herself - and she was glad that some of the closeness was returning to their relationship. She missed the comfort of his council and the strength she derived from his steadfast support. Her mind wandered back to a time before the Caretaker had whisked them all to the Delta Quadrant and she tried to remember how she had gotten along with anyone else as a first officer. That time seemed far away. As far distant in time as the Alpha Quadrant was in space. She sighed heavily at the thought of home, then smiled reassuringly as Chakotay eyed her with concern. "Just thinking about home," she said. "Ah," replied Chakotay with a wistful smile of his own. "The people or the place?" "I almost don't know anymore Chakotay," she admitted reluctantly. "Sometimes it seems so distant and insignificant next to the life we've made for ourselves here aboard Voyager," she continued almost to herself, "but other times I miss it so much it hurts." Here she paused, and fixed him with a stern look. "And if you ever tell anyone I said that, I'll throw you in the Brig!" Chakotay smiled warmly at this, glad that the Captain was able to joke about it. "Yes Ma'am" he rapped out in his best Tom Paris impersonation. Kathryn returned his smile and he gave her hand a gentle squeeze as they continued down the corridor. **************** *Ah, coffee.* Kathryn sat comfortably on her couch, relishing her real coffee, taking her time so as to extend the enjoyment for as long as possible. Chakotay had replicated them an excellent dish which he called Eggplant Parmesan and which, despite an absence of meat, had been very satisfying. Of course eating Neelix's cooking for three years made anything from the Alpha Quadrant taste good. Just the other week, Tom - forever trying to get B'Elanna to explore her Klingon side - had convinced them all to try some 'Gagh'. The Captain shuttered in remembrance and found her thoughts returning to the Lieutenants. "Hmph" she grunted. "Captain?" "Sorry Commander," she replied opening her eyes and looking at Chakotay. "I was just thinking about our wayward Lieutenants." "You mean Tom and B'Elanna?" She nodded. "I assume you had a talk with them about -" he coughed meaningfully "- discretion." "Yes, actually I was a bit hard on them, although I wasn't quite myself at the time. I spoke to them again earlier this evening but I'm still not sure what I think about it. I always knew they could be good friends if they ever stopped fighting, I just never considered the possibility of anything more developing." "I don't think they even had any idea about it until it happened," Chakotay surmised. "What happened though? What changed?" "Well, they almost died together during the incident with the Cataati. I'm sure that had some effect on them. It probably brought up a lot of things they may have been unwilling -- or unable -- to talk about before." Kathryn nodded in acquiescence and vowed silently to do what she could to support her officers despite her reservations. "Let them be," Chakotay continued. "They're stronger than you think. Especially together." Kathryn stifled a yawn. "Okay Chakotay, I surrender. You win." "Good. Now it's time for you to get some sleep. You're going to fall asleep on that couch pretty soon anyway." He rose and headed for the door. "I'll see you at 0700 tomorrow and not before." "Yes, sir," she grumbled good-naturedly as she followed him to the door. He turned as the door swished open and said "Pleasant dreams, Kathryn." Then he leaned down to brush a soft kiss across her lips, turned back, and retreated swiftly down the corridor. Kathryn stared down the corridor in stunned silence until well after he'd disappeared around the bend, her lips still tingling from the unexpected contact. "Pleasant dreams, Chakotay," she whispered softly to herself. "Pleasant dreams." FIN