REGRETS
After two failed attempts to write the third part of the "Fathers--Doubts" 
series, I came up with this idea.  As they say, the third times the charm.  
Or at least I hope.  This takes place the morning after "Doubts."  Here it 
is, sorry it took so long.--Katie
Disclaimer:  Paramount is a very big company.  They own lots of things, 
including Star Trek.  For fun I borrow their toys, because I don't have many 
of my own.
 
*****

     The door to the mess hall shut as B'Elanna Torres entered the room.  Tom 
Paris sat at a corner table with Megan Delaney.  *How can he even think of 
eating breakfast with someone like that?* She walked over to pick up a 
breakfast tray and found an empty seat.  *As long as he insists on 
associating with the Delaney sisters, he will never be ready for a 
relationship.*  She took a bite out of Neelix's lime green toast.  After 
gasping for air, she grabbed her water glass and took a long drink of water. 
*Not too bad.  At least he can't put Leola root in the water.* Preparing 
herself for the next bite of toast, she nibbled a small bit off the edge and 
took a sip of the water.  *Torres, you are NOT jealous of Megan Delaney.  Oh 
really?  Then why aren't you going over there to sit with them?  Face it, 
you're jealous.*
     From across the room, Megan Delaney watched Torres.  "Boy am I glad that 
I don't work in engineering.  I'd hate to be in there today."
     *Face it Tommy boy, you made a big mistake last night.  You should have 
followed...what?  Followed a Klingon to her quarters.  I bet the doctor would 
have a field day over that.*
     "Tom, did you hear me?  Tom, are you all right?"
     "I'm sorry Megan, did you say something?"
     "Tom, I don't think that you've heard a single thing I've said yet 
today."
     *Well, if you could possibly talk about something mildly entertaining.*  
"I'm sorry Megan.  I've just got something on my mind.  Did you say something 
about engineering?"
     "I said that I'd hate to have to be in engineering today."
     "Why?"
     "Because Lt. Torres is eating Neelix's toast."
     *B'Elanna's here?*  "Megan, it's not toast.  Neelix doesn't know what 
toast is.  Megan, if you don't mind.  I need to talk to B'Elanna about the 
navigational controls.  Do you mind?"
     "Fine.  Go ahead."  *Talk to your precious B'Elanna.*
     B'Elanna stared into a piece of blueish meat.  She felt a body slide 
into the seat next to her.  "You know Torres, you really shouldn't eat the 
green stuff.  I'm not sure that it's even edible."
     "I don't know Paris.  It's not that bad."
     "That really depends.  Harry has already been to sickbay over it.  In 
fact that's how I got stuck eating with Megan Delaney."
     "Oh.  So that's how you got stuck with Delaney."
     Tom couldn't mistake the sarcasm in her voice.  "B'Elanna, if you even 
think that I would..."
     "As a matter of fact Paris, I do think."
     A soft laugh escaped his lips.  "B'Elanna, I had one date with Megan 
over a year ago.  As you may remember, it ended with Harry getting soaked."  
*What does a jealous Klingon act like?*
     "Oh believe me, I do remember.  That was the talk of the ship for a 
whole month.  Why did you sit with Delaney if you didn't want to?"
     *Boy Torres do you think that you could have put any more acid in that 
comment?*  "She cornered me after Harry left.  I've been trying to get away 
since.  I lied to her when you came in.  I told her that we needed to talk 
about the navigational controls."
     "And just why did you even think about dating someone like her in the 
first place."
     *So, this is what a jealous Klingon is like.  Watch it Paris.* "I don't 
know. I was still trying to fit in, and having a girlfriend seemed like a 
good idea.:"
     "Paris, you really are a pig.  Has it ever occurred to you that dating 
every female around doesn't make you fit in."
     "Yes, it has.  But not until I was on Voyager.  I never have had any 
luck with relationships."
     "Well, if you would stop using women for your own personal enjoyment..."
     "Look Torres, I would NEVER do anything like that.  I know how it makes 
the woman feel."
     "Paris, you have no idea what it feels like.  None."
     "B'Elanna, I do."  *And I think that you do too.*  "Back home, I was 
considered a *good catch.*  I was the son of a Star Fleet admiral with a 
promising future as a pilot.  I was expected to make at least captain by my 
mid-thirties."  He paused for a second to take a sip of water.  He continued 
talking, never taking his eyes from his glass, "Everyone I dated wanted to 
further their career.  None of them cared for me at all, none." *Not even...*
     "Ricky?"
     "What did you say?"
     "What about that holo-character of yours, Ricky?  She is based on a real 
person, isn't she?"
     "She was.  I haven't programmed her into anything lately."
     "I've noticed.  So, who was she?"
     "My fiancee.  I thought she was different.  I was wrong.  After the..."  
*After the what?  Crash?  Accident?  Total screw up on my part?*  "After I 
accepted blame for Caldik Prime, she wouldn't even speak to me.  All she 
wanted from me was a better Star Fleet career.  Just like the others.  Last I 
heard, she was working under my father.  Megan is no different from the rest 
of them.  Now that I have a chance to make up for the rest of my life, she 
sees me as a way to better her life on this ship."
     Tom took a bite of his food and chewed slowly.  "So, aren't you going to 
ask me about Harry?"
     "What about Harry?"
     "Didn't you hear me earlier.  Harry had to go to sickbay over the 
toast."
     "He what?  Is he all right?"
     "He'll be fine.  It turns out that the toast has an unusual side effect 
in some people."
     "What kind of side effect?"
     "He, well, he sort of heturnedpurple."
     "Slow down and repeat that Paris.  He what?"
     "He turned purple.  You should have seen it.  We were sitting with Kes 
and Harry began to change color.  Everyone here saw it.  Kes took him to 
sickbay to find an antidote for the toast."
     "And why is there still toast here?"
     "We didn't know that there was.  You must have gotten the last piece.  
But don't worry.  Harry changed color almost immediately.  You've been 
sitting here for almost ten minutes and you haven't changed yet."
     "Paris why didn't you warn me?"
     "I tried."
     *You didn't try hard enough.*  "I know how it feels to be used."
     "It hurts."  Torres had not realized which thought she had voiced till 
now.
     "I dated a few people.  Everyone of them had heard about Klingon 
customs.  They only wanted to use me to find out if what they had heard was 
true.  None of them had enough guts to chase a full Klingon."
     "What about other Klingons?  You grew up with them."
     "Yes, I did.  Tom, they never accepted me.  I was a half-breed.  Maybe, 
if I had followed their codes of honor, or the teachings of Kahless I would 
have fit in better.  Somehow, Klingon honor never appealed to me.  All my 
life, I've tried to be more human and less Klingon.
     "Chakotay was the first person to accept me as who I was.  He was like 
the father I never had.  Even here on Voyager, I only have a few friends."  
Torres stood to leave.  "Paris, I need to get to engineering."
     "B'Elanna, you have got to be the most private person I know."
     "I plan to leave it that way."  She turned toward the door and walked 
out, leaving Tom Paris behind.