The Star Trek: Voyager premise and its characters belong to Paramount Studios, a Viacom company.  No infringement on Paramount's or Viacom's rights is intended.  Please keep this disclaimer attached to the file.  This round robin group story was written by fans for fans for fun.This story is dedicated to the memory of Becca, who lost her struggle with life in the summer of 1998.  Becca, wherever you are we wish you peace, as you so often wished us in your posts.  You will be missed.The Yellow Ribbon Society (suicide prevention):  http://www.yellowribbon.org/There was a little Q, with nothing much to doWhile his parents were away for a while.So he took a little trip, aboard a little shipWhere he wreaked havoc and made chaos, with style."Qumulative Chaos," by the P/T Collective"Gee, I don't know, B'Elanna," Tom said innocently, his eyes twinkling mischievously as he tried, and failed miserably, to keep the grin off his face.  "That Xlliarra was pretty convinced that you and the doc are married.  And after that hot performance the two of you put on at the talent show, I can't really blame him.""They WERE a cute couple, weren't they?" Harry joined in the teasing.  "Although, I have to admit, I never saw you as one who would go for the bald type.""Hmmm," Tom tapped his finger to his lips as he mused, "you know, I might just have to challenge the doc to an old-fashioned duel.  Pistols, I think.  For your honor, of course," he added helpfully at her incredulous expression.B'Elanna snorted her disdain as she rose with her half-empty lunch tray in hand.  "The last thing I need is you trying to protect my honor, Paris.  That Xlliarra had an even worse impression of me AFTER you tried to help!""Hey!" Tom rose to follow her.  "How was I supposed to know he would take it the wrong way?"She swung around to face the pilot, nearly spilling the untouched spoletka pudding onto Tom's uniform.  "He thought I was a -- a harlot!" she snapped indignantly."He thought no such thing, B'Elanna," Tom explained patiently as he took the lunch tray from the engineer and dropped it into the recycler along with his own tray.  "He just assumed our society allowed women to have more than one mate since he thought you were already mated to the doc and then I made it clear that you were with me."  Not appeased in the slightest, she continued to glare at him."Okay, okay," he offered, "so maybe it didn't help that Neelix then came up to give you that bear hug, but really, that wasn't my fault!"  He batted his blue eyes at her beseechingly.Her mouth twitched and the glare softened as she realized how ridiculous the whole thing was.  The last thing anyone who knew the hot-tempered half-Klingon would think was that she was a harlot.  And if anyone said anything to the contrary -- well, they would soon regret it.  Besides, it was nearly impossible for her to stay mad at Tom for any length of time.Harry dropped off his tray and followed his friends out of the mess hall.  "You certainly did a good job of keeping your temper under control.  I thought for sure you were going to slug that guy.""Right in front of the captain and Tuvok?  Give me some credit, please!" B'Elanna retorted good-naturedly as she strode ahead towards the turbolift."Ah, so if the captain and Tuvok HADN'T been there . . . " Tom suggested knowingly, sharing a look with Harry.  "That could have been even more entertaining than her and the doctor.""In your dreams, Helmboy," B'Elanna called out behind her as she entered the turbolift.  Turning to face them she said, "Engineering," and grinned pertly as the doors closed.* * * * * * Captain Kathryn Janeway took another sip of coffee as she finished reviewing the department reports.  For the first time in a very long time Voyager was running at peak efficiency.  Supplies were plentiful, in large part due to the generosity of the Garn, and crew morale was high.  She suspected the recent talent show had played a significant role in boosting everyone's spirits.  Unbidden, the comical sight of Chakotay in his costume appeared in her mind and she had to take a few extra minutes to compose herself before exiting her ready room.  But she couldn't keep the smile off her face as she took her seat on the bridge.  Commander Chakotay caught her gaze and grinned at her in return, his eyes dancing as he watched her avert her gaze to avoid another laughing fit.Since the shift had proven uneventful, B'Elanna had taken advantage of the lull and requested the testing of a new diagnostic program the engineering department had been working on.  Captain Janeway had agreed and B'Elanna had appeared on the bridge a few minutes later to work from the bridge engineering station.  She glanced briefly at the helm, capturing the gaze of the young lieutenant at the conn.  Tom was just about to make one of his facetious comments when the ship suddenly lurched, coming to an abrupt halt and nearly catapulting Janeway out of her seat.All eyes turned accusingly to B'Elanna.  "Report, Lieutenant," snapped Janeway, all business once again, as she descended on the engineering station.B'Elanna shook her head in consternation as her fingers flew over the controls.  "Captain, it wasn't me.  We're running the tests off-line."  She slapped her combadge.  "Torres to Carey.  What's going on down there?""We're on it, Lieutenant," the disembodied voice of Lieutenant Carey filled the bridge.  A few moments later, when Carey reported that everything appeared to be normal, the puzzlement in his voice was reflected on the expressions of the bridge crew.Janeway threw her hands up in frustration and began to pace the bridge as B'Elanna headed for the turbolift, on her way to Main Engineering.  She only made it as far as Tuvok's station before a sudden flash of light caused her to stop.  Swinging around towards the light source, she was stunned to see Q appear in front of Janeway.The captain stopped short and gave the alien the look that usually quelled those who were unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end, but the omnipotent creature merely smiled broadly and took Kathryn's hand in a sweeping gesture, bringing it to his lips for a kiss."Kathy, my dear!  You're looking lovely, as usual."Chakotay reflexively moved to Janeway's side.  Although he was fairly certain the omnipotent being wouldn't hurt the captain, he had little tolerance for the egocentric Q.   But at the subtle shake of Janeway's head he stepped back and waited to see what would transpire.Q continued on, "But something's different, isn't it?  Ah, yes, your hair.  Very becoming, I must say.  Gives you a much softer, younger look," he nodded approvingly.Janeway was certain she heard a muffled snort coming suspiciously from the conn, but she curbed her instinct to reprimand the pilot and focused her attention on her visitor.  Q's presence required her undivided attention -- since his appearances were never quite as innocent as he proclaimed them to be.Kathryn removed her hand from his with a sigh.  "Q.  Now, why am I not surprised?"  She took her seat and looked up at Q expectantly.  Q casually pushed Chakotay aside and assumed the commander's chair, leaning towards Kathryn familiarly.Chakotay, more amused than annoyed, took the seat next to Q and asked conversationally, "So, Q, how are things in the Continuum?  Start any new wars lately?"Q afforded him a brief, scornful look and turned his attention back to the captain, who was trying hard to keep a straight face.  While she knew she needed to take Q seriously, she also found him to be comical and entertaining at times."Actually, Kathy, that's why I'm here.  You see, although the Continuum is making remarkable progress under my enlightened leadership, there are still those close-minded dissidents who want things to stay the same for all of eternity.  We may as well put the Continuum in stasis!"  He sighed melodramatically.  "The bickering never ends.  And if it's not someone who wants things to stay the same, then it's a Q who is even more revolutionary than I am, wanting to make even more extreme changes.  Q and I are at our wit's end!  And that brings me to why I'm here."The bridge crew braced themselves.  *Finally,* Kathryn thought with both trepidation and relief."We need a vacation," he announced matter-of-factly.Kathryn looked at him in confusion.  "And just how exactly do we fit into your vacation plans?" she asked cautiously.  An image of Voyager as a vacation cruise ship for the Q appeared ominously in her mind."Well, if Q and I are really going to get away for a while, we need someone to take care of q, of course.  And who better than Aunt Kathy and her stalwart crew!"  Expecting everyone to be pleased with this prodigious honor, he was somewhat taken aback at the silence that greeted his announcement.Finally, Tom asked incredulously, "You want us to *baby-sit* q?!"Q sidled up to Tom, wrapped his arm around the pilot's shoulder, and answered slyly, "Just think of it as practice, Tommy, for when you and Torres start your own family."  Tom heard B'Elanna's threatening growl and hoped fervently she wouldn't do anything rash.  Fortunately, she was still standing near Tuvok, who placed a restraining hand on her shoulder, just in case.Kathryn stepped forward.  "Voyager isn't a daycare center, Q.  Why can't you leave him with another Q?""q is hardly your typical humanoid child, Kathy," Q replied indignantly.  "And with things still so unsettled in the Continuum, I wouldn't feel safe leaving him with anyone else.  Besides, you're his godmother, remember?  This is your opportunity to teach the little tyke the best qualities of humanity -- love, conscience, compassion.  Values, you know.  All those things we talked about during the war."Exasperated, Kathryn asked, "Haven't you taught him any of those things yet?  It's been over two years!"Unabashed Q stated, "Well, *you're* the experts on humanity, not us!"  Before anyone could continue, Q snapped his fingers and the Q in question appeared in Q's arms.  Wiggling impatiently, q maneuvered himself out of his father's arms and onto the floor of the bridge.  Looking up at the captain inquisitively, he gave her a big smile which immediately melted Janeway's heart.  He was adorable.  She looked over at Chakotay helplessly."There, now, you see?  He'll be no trouble at all," Q pronounced.  He knelt down so he was eye level with his son.  "q, this is the Auntie Kathryn I've told you so much about.  You be a good boy and do as she says while Mama and I go on a little vacation, okay?  We'll be back before you know it."The smaller Q bobbed his head up and down silently, tears threatening to fall at the thought of being left behind with these strangers.  Q felt an emotion he had never felt before and impulsively pulled his son to him in a hug.  The boy clung to him and for a moment Janeway thought Q wouldn't go through with it.  But he soon stood up with q in his arms, placing him in Kathryn's arms immediately.  With a light pat on the boy's head and a "Be good," Q was gone."Captain!" Tom announced, "We're moving again -- Warp 2.  The same course we were on before."Kathryn nodded her acknowledgment and then looked at the boy, who was trying to put on a brave face.  She turned to Chakotay and announced, "I think it's time for a senior staff meeting.  Please notify Neelix and the doctor."  She paused before adding, "And I think we'd better include Ensign Wildman, as well.""Aye, Captain.* * * * * *"The doctor, Neelix, and Ensign Wildman are on their way, Captain," announced Commander Chakotay.  Tapping a final command into his console, he asked, "Do you wish to include our young visitor in the meeting, or should I try to find a baby-sitter?  I believe Naomi Wildman is presently with Lieutenant Nicoletti -- ""I do not think that would be wise, Commander, Captain," intoned Tuvok from tactical.  "Our guest's youth and inexperience make him potentially a larger threat to ship's security than even his parents.  I therefore strongly suggest you turn his care over to officers from security.""Aw, c'mon, Tuvok," protested Harry Kim from ops.  "He's just a baby.  Look how cute he is!""I understand the child has many of the physical characteristics known to engender in humans those feelings often referred to as 'the warm fuzzies.'  However, we must not forget he is, in actuality, a Q."q, paying no attention to the debate surrounding him, had burrowed his face against Janeway's shoulder, sniffling softly, and mumbling, "Mama, Daddy," over and over.  The captain did feel sorry for the small boy, but there was an uncomfortable wet patch developing on her shoulder, and she'd never been good with children.  "In this case, I must agree with you, Tuvok," she declared.  "And I believe you are the perfect candidate to take charge in this instance.  Not only are you the head of security, you are also a parent.""As you wish, Captain," replied Tuvok in his usual stalwart manner, though Janeway doubted he'd considered this possibility."Captain, you can't be serious!" cried Harry Kim."Yeah," chimed in Tom Paris, spinning around in his chair.  "I don't think Tuvok knows any nursery rhymes or bedtime stories.  They don't tend to follow T'Hane's 'Dictates of Poetics,'" the pilot smirked.   "And I'm sure they don't have teddy bears on Vulcan.""A valid point, Mr. Paris," Chakotay remarked, coming up beside Janeway to take the small boy from her.  "However, rumor has it that you are somewhat of an expert on children's literature."  The first officer smiled broadly at Tom as he dropped the little Q into the pilot's lap."But -- but -- Captain!" Tom sputtered, desperately trying to gain some hold on the suddenly squirming child."Yes," Janeway agreed, resting her hand on Chakotay's arm.  "I hear you're especially fond of the works of -- who was it again, Chakotay?""Dr. Spock, I think?" Chakotay supplied helpfully."No," Janeway corrected with a smile.  "It was Doctor Suess.  A common mix-up, I'm sure," she reassured her first officer.Tom blushed beet red at the captain's comment, and at the muffled snickers coming from around the bridge as everyone suddenly tried their best to look busy.  "I'm sure I can find something -- something appropriate -- to read to him, Captain," he said quietly, conceding defeat."Very good, Mr. Paris.  You are relieved of your station pending the outcome of the strategy meeting," Janeway announced.  "Please take our young friend back to quarters, or perhaps to the holodeck for an educational program.  And, Mr. Kim," she continued, turning around to catch the tail end of the smart remark Harry was silently mouthing to his best friend.  "As you have also expressed concern about our small guest, you may assist Mr. Paris in his baby-sitting duties.""Captain?" gurgled Harry desperately, affecting his most angelic look."Too late, Mr. Kim," Janeway said consolingly.  "But if either of you want to push it, I can always reassign Lieutenant Torres to assist you.  The three of you seem to handle group projects well.""Ah, that won't be necessary, Captain," Tom decided quickly.  He was out of his chair, and halfway across the bridge, q wedged underneath his arm like a football.  "No reason to bother B'Elanna."  *And get me killed.*  "Harry and I can handle it!"Harry reluctantly joined Tom at the turbolift door and softly echoed Paris' reassurances.  "We can handle it, Captain," he sighed, giving the young Q a wary look.  "You can count on us."  Then the door opened, and the three disappeared.Turning back to her chief of security, Janeway asked, "I assume this meets with your approval, Tuvok?""It is satisfactory," he admitted.  Consulting his console, he added, "Lieutenant Paris and Ensign Kim appear to be enroute to Holodeck2.  I will, of course, dispatch a security detail to that location.  Just in case.""A prudent security measure," Chakotay affirmed from Janeway's side.  "Captain," he continued, "the doctor, Neelix, and Ensign Wildman are waiting for us in the conference room.""Well, then, gentlemen," Janeway said, jerking her head toward the exit.  "Shall we?"  Almost as an afterthought, she added, "Mr. Ayala, you have the bridge."  Turning on her heel, she led the way to the conference room.  Ayala, too stunned to speak, silently assumed the command chair.* * * * * * In the mess hall, Ensigns Mikel Hudson and Ethan Simms were discussing the talent show over their meal, when a beep suddenly emanated from Hudson's combadge."Tuvok to Ensign Hudson," came the security chief's perpetually calm voice."Hudson here," Mikel answered, straightening up in his chair instinctively, although he knew the lieutenant commander couldn't see him."Mr. Hudson, please report to Holodeck2 with Mr. Simms.  You are not to interfere unless you feel the situation is growing unstable and needs supervision.""Excuse me, sir," interrupted Simms, exchanging looks with his partner, "but to what 'situation' are you referring?""Q and his mate have left their son in the care of Voyager's crew.  Lieutenant Paris and Ensign Kim are entertaining him in Holodeck2.  Your duties are to make sure the safety of this ship is not compromised.  Tuvok out.""Baby-sitting a Q?"  Hudson glanced at his partner with a hint of trepidation on his face.  "You really think we can handle it?"Simms clapped Mikel on the back as they headed toward the exit.  "Mik, you were the commander of a Klingon vessel once.  Besides, Lieutenant Paris and Harry are watching him, not us.  I'm sure they'll be able to keep him under control."* * * * * * *"I want my mama!" wailed q loudly, banging his hands and feet against the glowing grid of the holodeck floor, where he was sprawled out.  A pool of tears was beginning to soak through the child's clothing.  "Daddy!" he shrieked, his crying becoming louder.  "Come back!!"Tom and Harry stared at each other helplessly.  "Well?" asked Tom urgently.  "You're Mr. Congeniality.  Think of something!""Me?" demanded Harry.  "I'm an only child.  I don't have any experience with kids!"  q's sobbing became louder."I was the youngest," Tom pointed out.  "It's not as if I have an enormous amount of experience either.  Maybe if we pulled rank on him."Harry gave him a dirty look.  "The kid's not Starfleet, Tom."Tom ran his fingers through his hair, resisting the urge to pull it out.  He tried to think of something -- anything his parents or baby-sitters might have done to calm him down -- but he couldn't think of anything.  Everyone had always told him what a well behaved child he had been.  "I know!"  Inspiration finally struck Tom.  "Music!"* * * * * * "Any ideas on how to deal with this?" Kathryn asked as they all took their seats in the ready room."Captain, if I may," Samantha spoke up.  "I think q is just a baby.  Whether he has special powers or not, he'll respond just like Naomi does."Kathryn nodded and looked to Tuvok, the only other person there with children."I am inclined to agree with Ensign Wildman," he replied stoically.  "However, I fear that should q become upset, he could become dangerous to this crew, even unintentionally.""So what would you recommend?" Kathryn leaned back in her chair, looking around the members of the table."I'll be happy to look out for q while the rest of you are on duty, Captain," Neelix offered."Thank you, Neelix.  I might just take you up on that.  You seem to be very good with children."  Kathryn smiled as Neelix beamed with the praise.  "Why don't you and Samantha go relieve Tom and Harry."  She had to repress a smirk at the idea of Tom and Harry trying to baby-sit q.  "Dismissed."All but Chakotay left the room.  "How do you manage to get yourself into these situations?" he asked, smiling at her.Kathryn chuckled softly.  "Just lucky, I suppose."  She paused a moment before giving him a sly glance.  "So, Chakotay, how are you with children?""Why do you ask?" Chakotay replied warily."Well I seem to be in sudden possession of a godson; one who seems best dealt with in pairs."  She cast him an inviting look.Chakotay smiled and shook his head.  "How could I ever say no to you?  On one condition . . . . ""What?""I want Tom and B'Elanna to spend some time with him during his visit.""Done.  Might I ask why?""Call it curiosity."* * * * * * "No Tom, I am *not* baby-sitting a Q, and that's final!" B'Elanna said firmly while checking the progress of the continuing warp core diagnostic."B'Elanna," Tom whined as he moved out of the way of the annoyed chief engineer, "he's just a kid.  Harry and I looked after him earlier today until Neelix showed up and nothing happened.""Tom," B'Elanna glanced up from the computer console and looked at him, "no."Tom sighed, ran his fingers through his hair, and came around to stand in front of the console.  He decided to try a different idea.  "What's the matter?  Afraid you can't handle him?" He teased.B'Elanna rolled her eyes.  "You should know better than to try to use that tactic with me, Helmboy."Tom grinned.  "Hey, it got your attention."She laughed.  "You don't need to tease me to get my attention.  Most people grow out of that at a young age.""Well, I'm not most people," Tom smiled and looked into her eyes.  "So, what do you say?"B'Elanna sighed as she tapped in some commands at an engineering station.  "I can't say I'm thrilled with the idea of baby-sitting a Q, even a young one."Tom shrugged.  "You don't have to be thrilled about it, but I do need your help B'Elanna.  The captain asked if I could baby-sit again and, well, I don't want to do it alone.  And anyway she suggested I ask you."  He went all out and gave her his puppy dog look.  "Please say you'll help."B'Elanna sighed again, something she tended to do whenever Tom was trying to persuade her.  "Fine."* * * * * *Tom yelled to be heard over the young Q's squalling.  "What are we going to do with him?"B'Elanna yelled back, "Don't ask me!  You're the one who talked me into this!"Tom frowned at her before turning his attention back to the wailing Q, who was turning an alarming shade of red.  "Um, don't cry.  Hey, remember me?"  Tom tried to smile reassuringly.  q continued sobbing unabated."Oh yeah.  That worked, Tom," B'Elanna sighed.  "I don't know how Sam managed to handle this child.""Hey, she has experience!""Yeah -- and we DON'T," B'Elanna retorted back."Well, we have to get it someplace."B'Elanna gave Tom a strange look.  "What do you mean by that?"Tom stammered.  "Uh, um, nothing."  He changed the subject, trying to think of something they could do with the crying Q toddler.  "How about Hide-and-Seek?""Hide-n-Seek!" the young Q suddenly squealed with a giggle, finally ceasing his crying.  "Hide-n-Seek!"  He disappeared in a flash of light.Startled by the Q's abrupt disappearance, Tom was struck speechless.  He quickly glanced around the holodeck.  "He's not here," he finally announced numbly."I can see that!" B'Elanna snapped.  "And we'd better find him before he accidentally wreaks havoc on the ship!"Tom sighed.  "Or purposely wreaks havoc on the ship."  He tapped his combadge.  "Paris to Tuvok.""Tuvok here," came the Vulcan's ever-placid reply."Our little buddy is on the loose.""Interesting."  Tom could almost hear the raised eyebrow through the combadge.  "I assume you mean the juvenile Q?""Uh, yeah," Tom said reluctantly."Very well, I will notify the captain and send out a security team to look for q.  You and Lieutenant Torres can start searching for him as well.  Tuvok out."B'Elanna smiled ruefully as she walked out of the holodeck.  "Now remind me again, what did you say about baby-sitting a Q?"* * * * * *"Come again, Tuvok?" Kathryn sat up straighter, unsure she'd heard the Vulcan correctly."I'm afraid our visitor is missing, Captain," Tuvok repeated calmly."Weren't Tom and B'Elanna watching him?""They were, Captain.  Lieutenant Paris informed me that q may be hiding, as is proper for 'Hide and Seek.'""Did you ask the computer for his location?""Yes, Captain.  The computer reports that he is not on board.  However, I feel q may be blocking the computer's scans in order to facilitate the game.""Thank you, Tuvok.  I'll start looking for him as well.  Janeway out."  Despite the seriousness of the situation, as Kathryn looked over at Chakotay she found it hard not to laugh.  "Up for a Q hunt?" she asked."Why do I get the feeling we're heading on a wild Q chase?" Chakotay grinned at her as he rose off the couch, offering his hand to Kathryn and helping pull her to her feet.Kathryn groaned at his pun as she stood.  "Come on, Commander.  It seems we have our work cut out for us this evening."* * * * * * "I cannot believe I let you talk me into this," B'Elanna grumbled as she and Tom prowled the halls."Come on, B'Elanna, it's not so bad.""Compared to what?" B'Elanna snorted.  "I really don't have the time to spend chasing after some egotistical maniac's little brat.""You know you don't mean that," Tom replied.Something in his voice made B'Elanna turn to face him.  For some reason she couldn't fathom why he looked hurt.  "No, I don't," she conceded.  "I guess I'm just not used to being around children."Tom's face brightened.  "That's why we're getting some practice in.""You said that before.  Tom, be honest with me.  You're not pregnant, are you?"Taken aback for only a second at the impudent question, Tom's mouth quirked up into a roguish grin as he leaned towards her and replied suggestively, "Would you still respect me if I were?"B'Elanna laughed, shaking her head in defeat.  The man was impossible!  Tom didn't let it drop, though, as he continued breezily, "Stranger things have happened, you know.  I mean, transforming into a lizard isn't exactly a typical human experience.  It's very *conceivable* that I could get pregnant out here.  I think pretty much anything is possible out here in the Delta Quadrant.""You know, Paris, I'm really sorry I even brought up the subject!"  The bantering continued as they walked down the hallway, their voices fading as they passed the quarters of Samantha and Naomi Wildman.  Had they not been so involved in their tete-a-tete, they might have heard the sound of Naomi's toys in the background.  Not that it would have been so strange, of course, except for the fact that Naomi was currently with Neelix in the mess hall."So tell me the truth," B'Elanna said as she and Tom continued their journey through the corridors of Voyager on a look out for the renegade Q, "how did you and Harry deal with q?""Pretty well, actually," Tom replied.  "At first he wouldn't stop crying, but as soon we started playing some music he calmed down and actually started enjoying himself.""What kind of music did you play for him?" asked B'Elanna, stopping in front of the Jeffries tube hatch to key in her entry code.  The small door swung open and both Tom and B'Elanna bent down to examine the long tube.  It was deserted, with no sign of either engineering personal or q.  Tom straightened up.  "He's not in there.  Let's try the storage closet."B'Elanna queried, "You never answered my question.  What kind of music did you play for him?"  Visions flitted through her mind -- images she had witnessed of Tom and his "music."  Playing air guitar to Clapton.  Boogying to Bee Gees.  Prancing around the Camaro to Stevie Ray.  "Tom," she said seriously, "you didn't subject that child to your awful rock 'n roll, did you?""No," he sniffed disdainfully.  "What do you take me for, Torres?  We sang Klingons arias to him.  We figured it couldn't hurt him.  He was screaming already."B'Elanna hid a smile.  "Okay, Helmboy, I take it back.  But I am curious.""If you must know, we danced.""You danced?""Yes.""To what?  The Tango?"Tom stopped dead cold in his tracks.  "Yes, B'Elanna.  Harry and I danced the Tango for q.  We thought it would do wonders for his developing psyche."B'Elanna laughed out loud, a rare occurrence.  "Okay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."Tom looked carefully up and down the empty hallway.  He leaned in and whispered, "The Hokey Pokey.""Hokey Pokey?" B'Elanna asked loudly.  "What's a Hokey Pokey?""Shhh!!" snapped the pilot.  "It's -- "A disembodied voice said, "It's an inane activity guaranteed to warp a child's mind.  Oddly enough, he liked it."  With a bright flash a seven centimeter Q dressed in a Hawaiian shirt appeared on B'Elanna's shoulder.  "Sorry to interrupt your little chat, but my son is in Wildman's quarters about to get his little fingers smashed by some falling books.  Dangerous things, books.  Full of all sorts of nonsense.  Some parents you are.  Now stop canoodling and go take care of him.  That's an order!""Hey!  I don't -- "  B'Elanna started, but Q was gone again."Let's go!" Tom called over his shoulder, already starting back down the corridor to the Wildman's' quarters."We don't have to take orders from Q, Tom," B'Elanna complained as she reluctantly followed him around the corner."But we were baby-sitting under the captain's orders, and she'll be a lot happier if we're the ones to find him," Tom reminded her, slowing down for her to catch up.  "Besides, I feel sorry for the kid.  It's no fun when your parents dump you on strangers and take off.  Especially when you don't know when they're coming back," Tom sighed.  "I think all q Jr. needs is a friend or two.  And a better name."B'Elanna nodded in silent, if begrudging, agreement.  "Okay, Tom.  If you say so.  Let's go save him from the books," she ordered, grabbing his hand and pulling him down the corridor with her.* * * * * *"So, you can over-ride, right?" Tom asked, gesturing at the keypad as they stood outside the Wildman's cabin less than a minute later."Well, I can," B'Elanna acknowledged.  "But, it's not an engineering matter --""It will be if he starts re-engineering the ship with his Q powers because we're not there to stop him," Tom argued."Right," B'Elanna grumbled, punching her code into the keypad.Quietly, they tiptoed across the living area of the cabin, toward Naomi's bedroom.  They could already hear the small Q through the closed door, shrieking gleefully.  "This is not a good sign," Tom murmured under his breath, drawing a look of consternation from B'Elanna.  Taking a deep breath, he tapped the door release, calling, "Found you!" as the door slid open.The room was a wreck.  Every single toy was on the floor instead of in the toy box, and the book shelves were empty.  Tom even suspected that q had tried rearranging the furniture.  Presently, the little boy seemed to be using all of Naomi's belongings to build an intricate fort in the center of the room.  At the sound of Tom's voice, q turned around from the wall of dolls he was building to glare at the helmsman and chief engineer.  "No fair!" he pouted.  "You didn't close your eyes and count!""How do you know?" B'Elanna asked, crossing her arms."'Cause I'm Q!" the little boy declared obstinately.  "It doesn't count, 'cause you cheated!"  With that, he turned back toward his fort, knocking into a teetering stack of books, currently serving as a support column for an arched entrance.  The whole pile came down upon him, burying him.  q began his now all too familiar wailing as B'Elanna and Tom shared a pained look.The worst, however, was not over.  Behind them, they heard the main door slide open.  Turning, Tom and B'Elanna saw Samantha and Naomi Wildman step into their living room.  "Tom, B'Elanna," Samantha greeted over q's bellows.  "What are you doing here?"Before either could answer, Naomi screamed.  "Mommy!  He's in my room!" the little girl screeched, pulling her mother to the doorway.  Tears welling up in her eyes, Naomi pointed an accusing finger at q.  "He ruined my room!  It's not fair!  I hate him!"Gathering her sobbing daughter into her arms, Samantha glared up at Tom and B'Elanna.  "What were you two *thinking?*" she demanded."So, Paris," B'Elanna ground out, glaring at Tom.  "What do we do now?"Tom looked extremely pensive, which was difficult considering Naomi's crying, q's screaming, and Samantha Wildman's scolding."Food," he said decisively.  "What we do now is food."  He gently but firmly pulled q out of the collapsed fort.  "But first we have to clean up.  Hush, q, you're okay.  Help us clean up.""No," said q with a sniffle."Yes," said Tom.  "If you make a mess you help clean it up.  That's how it works.""No,"  said q."I said yes," said Tom firmly."No!" shrieked q.Naomi Wildman yanked q up by the hand.  "You better do it," she said innocently."Why?" asked q bluntly.Naomi looked at B'Elanna, Tom, and then her mother.  "Because."q looked perplexed for a moment, then he smacked his hands together twice.  The room was instantly in order.  He looked up at Tom.  "Food?"The tall pilot grinned down at the toddler.  He was awfully cute, even if he were Q.  "Food," he agreed.  "Spaghetti, I think.  To the mess hall, troops."* * * * * * *B'Elanna and Tom hurried q out of the Wildmans' quarters before he could cause any further damage and before they could receive any further glares from the still annoyed Samantha.  Tom called security and the captain to let them know they had everything under control (to which B'Elanna snorted only slightly) and that they were headed for the mess hall.  As they headed towards the turbolift, Tom impulsively swung the toddler up onto his shoulders, much to his delight.*He really is good with him,* B'Elanna thought.  *But what about me?  What kind of a mother would I be?  Tom obviously wants children.  What if . . . *  Her wonderings were interrupted as the turbolift reached their destination and stopped.  As they approached the mess hall, q still enjoying his perch atop Tom's shoulders, B'Elanna leaned over to Tom and whispered, "Do Q's even eat?""How should I know?" Tom whispered back.  "But we've got to keep him busy *somehow!*"The doors slid open and Neelix immediately greeted them with characteristic warmth.  "There you are!  And here is our special guest," he said as Tom brought q down off his shoulders.  "Remember me?  I'm Neelix.  How are you?" he asked, stooping down to the little guy's level.B'Elanna sighed with relief.  Neelix was wonderful with children; that would take some of the pressure off her, for a while at least."So, what'll it be?" Neelix asked, rubbing his hands together.  "I've got plenty of casserole left over from last night.""Well, we were kind of hoping for spaghetti, but we could replicate it -- ""No!" q interrupted Tom.  "I want REAL spaghetti!  I want it now!  Now!  Now!  Now!"  He emphasized the 'now's' by stamping his feet.Tom tried to calm him down while B'Elanna sprinted to the replicator, but q was quicker.  "I want SPAGHETTI!" he cried as he thrust his little, yet powerful hands out, palms forward, fingers outstretched.There was a brief flash of light in the center of the mess hall, which was replaced by a giant bowl of spaghetti.  Spaghetti with meatballs, sauce, and Parmesan cheese sprinkled on top in a bowl that took up most of the room.  A bowl big enough to swim in.The people who had been sitting at tables or standing where the bowl now sat were now inside the bowl, all quite startled.  Mikel Hudson, who had been headed towards q with Ethan Simms when the bowl appeared, poked his head out from the noodles.  His uniform, face and hair were completely covered in tomato sauce.B'Elanna looked at him trying hard not to laugh.  "I'm sorry, Ensign."  Then she turned to Tom saying, "Maybe we should take him somewhere else."  Tom nodded, and the three quickly exited, trying to avoid certain ensigns.Tom turn to B'Elanna.  "Well, where to?" She looked at q in Tom's arms.  He was looking very pleased with himself.  "Let's take him to visit his godmother.""Good idea!"  Tom looked at the little Q.  "Want to visit Aunt Kathryn?  She would love to see you." q agreed.  He was getting bored with Paris and Torres anyway.Tom rang the bell on the captain's ready room door, while he silently prayed she wouldn't be too angry.  He didn't want to be cleaning Jeffries tubes!  He glanced nervously at B'Elanna, as he heard the captain say, "Enter."Kathryn looked up as Tom walked in.  "Is there some problem, Lieutenant?"  She asked, trying to hide a smirk.  She'd heard about the bowl of spaghetti in the mess hall already."Captain, I was wondering if -- " Tom began."Kathy!" q's delighted squeal cut Tom off as he squirmed out of Tom's arms and jumped into Kathryn's lap."Actually, Captain, q wanted to spend some time with you," B'Elanna came to Tom's rescue."I see," Kathryn replied seriously.  "Well, Commander," she asked, turning to Chakotay who had been sitting quietly beside her, "feel up to baby-sitting for a while?""Why not?" Chakotay smiled as he watched q climb across Kathryn's lap."All right, Lieutenants, you're relieved for the evening," Kathryn smiled at the two.  "Go relax for a while.""Thank you, Captain," Tom said as he and B'Elanna beat a hasty retreat."Have you been a handful, q?" Kathryn asked him, her tone affectionate."Bored," q whined as he gave up climbing on Kathryn and switched to Chakotay.Chakotay smiled indulgently as q climbed across him till he was sitting on his shoulders, happily tugging on Chakotay's hair.Kathryn didn't even try to resist the urge to laugh.  She set down the padd she'd been holding and stood to pry q off Chakotay.  "He seems to have taken a liking to you, Chakotay," she chuckled."I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing," Chakotay replied, grimacing slightly as q refused to let go of his hair."q," Kathryn began sternly, "you let go of him right now."q, shocked at Kathryn's harsh tone, immediately let go of Chakotay and began bawling.  "Kathy mean," he sobbed."I know.  She's a very mean lady," Chakotay agreed.  "I'm sure she's sorry.""Kathy mean," q insisted again."Come here, q," Kathryn said, retrieving q from Chakotay.  "You know I love you, but you have to learn to behave.  Now, do you think you can behave?"q sniffed.  "Game?""If you promise to behave.""Game!""I think that's as close to a 'yes' as you're going to get," Chakotay laughed."Hokey Pokey!" q giggled delightedly."Hokey Pokey?" Chakotay arched his eyebrows."Don't tell me you've never heard of it, Chakotay," Kathryn said in disbelief."Actually, no.""Hokey Pokey!" q insisted again, impatient."Well, Commander, looks like you're going to learn.* * * * * *Janine Lamont looked at Ethan Simms, then at Mikel Hudson.  Both of them were glaring at her, their eyes flashing a coded message at the blonde haired woman.  *Don't say it.*She knew she shouldn't.  It wasn't their fault, after all, that they had ended up in a bowl of spaghetti.  She shouldn't.  She really, really shouldn't.  "You boys . . . " began Janine, trying to stifle a chuckle unsuccessfully.  She started again.  "You boys look good enough to eat!" she managed to get out before she collapsed on the floor, overcome with a severe case of the giggles.Janine rolled about, holding her sides and snorting, and soon all the personnel not in the bowl were howling.  From the back of the room came a quavering, "On top of spagheeeeetiiiiii, all covered with cheeeeeese, we lost our two ensigns, when somebody -- "  The singer was abruptly cut off by a handful of dripping spaghetti lobbed from the bowl.  About the same time a similar handful landed on Ensign Lamont."Hey!" she snapped, standing up and lobbing it back.  "Cut it out, you guys."Simms gave Hudson a serious look.  "Yeah, Mik.  Cut it out.""What?  Me!?  I didn't --  Oh."  Only Mikel saw Ethan's tiny wink."I'm sorry, Jan.  Come here, my dearest, and I'll wipe it off."  He floundered to the side of the bowl as did his partner in justice."Look, you got it in my hair!" whined Janine.  "I hate -- " She stopped suddenly as she was grabbed under the arms on both sides and pulled into the bowl.  Everyone roared."Shut up, Susan!" Lamont shouted.  "Take that!"  Another handful of spaghetti flew, but Lieutenant Nicoletti ducked.  The pasta landed on the unfortunate ensign coming through the door behind her.  Ensign Vorik.Vorik surveyed the scene in a cool Vulcan manner, then said evenly, "Is this another bizarre human ritual I should know about?""Now, now, people," said Neelix.  "Let's not be hasty and act like children.  Fine upstanding Starfleet people like you.  Let's get this stuff cleared away and I'll warm up that nice leola root casserole from yester -- HEY!!"  Spaghetti flew at him from the corner where the songster had been cut off.  "That's not very -- "The doors hissed open again and Seven-of-Nine strode in.  She stopped less than two meters in the room and took in the situation with an icy look.  She sniffed and said disdainfully, "The Borg would -- "  Spaghetti flew at her from all directions.* * * * * * "Tuvok to the Captain.""You do the Hok -- ahem.  Yes, Tuvok.""Captain, we have a situation in the mess hall.""I'm on my way."* * * * * * Emerging from the turbo-lift, Lieutenants Torres and Paris headed toward the mess hall."What do you think Neelix concocted for today's meal?  Not another crab meat daiquiri, I hope," sighed B'Elanna, remembering the awful thing Neelix had forced her to drink not long ago.Tom gave a small shrug of his shoulders as they paused a half a second for the mess hall doors to open.  "As long as it's not spaghetti, I don't care. "Wonder what he did with that bowl?"  He took a step forward, and that's as far as he got before a big, flying red ball of tomato sauce and noodles came flying at him and splattered all over his shocked face.Another torpedo of spaghetti headed their way, and B'Elanna's quick reflexes allowed her to escape the misfortune that had befallen her companion.  She saw Vorik standing nearby, looking calm and composed despite the sauce dripping off the points of his ears.  And a few feet away from him was Seven, who was aiming another spaghetti ball at her head.  B'Elanna wasn't sure what shocked her more: the fact that the former Borg was participating in this -- whatever *this* was -- targeting her, or the fact that Seven the perfectionist had missed her and had hit someone else.Suddenly realizing the mess hall was deadly silent, and that even Tom, who had been staggering around yelling, blinded by the sauce in his eyes, had fallen silent, the chief engineer whirled around to see . . . ."Captain!"Janeway surveyed the room in awe.  *What the -- ?*  Her eyes widened as she saw a lone meatball heading towards Tom, who was watching the airborne object warily.  Instinctively, he ducked, and the meatball hit his captain squarely in the face.Sputtering, Janeway wiped her arm across her face.  Neelix was the first to dare to move.  He walked slowly towards the captain, careful to avoid slipping on the marinara sauce.  He silently handed her a damp dishrag.After cleaning herself off as best as she could, Janeway broke the silence.  "I want this cleaned up before dinner."  With that, she turned on her heel and walked out.Tuvok, staid as usual, followed suit.  Only q paused a moment to survey the room, and giggled gleefully before he followed his godmother out of it."Not one word, Chakotay," she growled as she walked onto the bridge."Spaghetti!" q crowed delightedly as he watched sauce dripping off Kathryn's hair.That was all poor Chakotay could take.  He burst out laughing, much to the delight of q and the chagrin of Kathryn.  She shot him one of her best glares as she continued swiftly to her ready room, q trailing behind her, leaving Chakotay still chuckling.Activity slowly resumed in the mess hall.  Neelix broke out the cleaning supplies, and the officers went to work cleaning the cabin.  B'Elanna and Tom took the table at the far corner of the room, scrubbing so hard she was sure the paint was either going to slide off or she was going to end up digging a hole through the ship.  Tomato sauce was immensely difficult to remove from furniture!As they worked, B'Elanna glanced at Tom.  His brow was furrowed as he concentrated on the task ahead.  Lingering streaks of sauce remained on his cheeks and noodles were tangled up in his hair.  "You know, Tom," B'Elanna began conversationally, "You look good enough to eat."And for no reason either lieutenants could discern, ensigns Mikel Hudson and Ethan Simms, who were working a few feet away,  groaned in unison.  A meatball from an unidentified source was hurled in the direction of Lieutenant Torres, who, as prescribed in the unwritten rule book, was forced to retaliate, and all was lost once more.As meatballs and noodles went flying through the air, B'Elanna snapped at Tom as she surveyed the ever growing mess,  "I can't believe what you got me into, Paris.  How are we supposed to get rid of all this?"Tom was quiet, thinking it better to keep his mouth shut, lest he get in any more trouble.  Although, if memory served, HE hadn't said anything before."Well, we're certainly not going to get anything done just standing here throwing things, are we?" Neelix asked brightly.B'Elanna walked closer to the bowl, peering in over the edge, marveling at the size of the mess they had to deal with.Tom quickly weighed his options.  He really shouldn't do it.  He really, really, shouldn't.  But seeing B'Elanna in a giant bowl of spaghetti . . . .  He hesitated only a moment before walked up behind her, picked her up, and tossed her in.  Who could resist?When Tom saw the expression on B'Elanna's face when she finally righted herself, he knew that he should have resisted.  He really, really, REALLY should have.  He made a mental note that apparently, while B'Elanna found a food fight fun, she didn't enjoy being heaved into large vats of pasta and sauce."B'Elanna, I'm . . . I'm sorry?" he said haltingly, trying to calm the obviously very infuriated, very unamused engineer.  "Um, here."  He offered her his hand, intending to help her out.It turned out to be the second big mistake he would make in less than a minute, as B'Elanna did what any normal person with revenge on her mind would do given the same opportunity.  She pulled him in, head first.When Paris stood up and wiped the sauce from his eyes, he saw Torres stalking out of the mess hall.  He hastily clambered out of the bowl, calling "B'Elanna!" as he gave chase.The crew in the mess hall exchanged looks of amusement.  They were quite grateful at that moment that THEY weren't Tom Paris.  Finally, someone piped, "Look at the sauce they trailed on the floor!"This comment spurred laughter.  As if the narrow trail of sauce the lieutenants had left was any comparison to the rest of the mess they had to clean up.If there were something Tom Paris had learned during all of this, it was that even covered with spaghetti, B'Elanna was a fast runner.  "B'Elanna!" he shouted as he chased after her.  In his haste, he almost plowed into Joe Carey.  By some quick maneuvering he managed to avoid a head-on collision, although Joe did end up with stray noodles sticking to his combadge.Up ahead, B'Elanna made a sharp turn and darted into her quarters.  By the time Tom reached the cabin, the door was locked and despite his pleadings, she wasn't answering."All right!!" he shouted.  "Fine!  Have it your way!"  He stormed off down the corridor toward his own quarters, fuming.  When was she going to learn to lighten up and have a little fun?  It was just a harmless joke!He was already peeling himself out of his spaghetti soaked suit before he was through his door.  Then he stopped suddenly, realizing his mistake.  q had made another mess, and Tom hadn't thought to make him clean it up.  He tapped his combadge.  "Paris to the captain.""Go ahead, Mr. Paris.""Captain, is q with you?  I need to speak with him.""He isn't, Lieutenant.  We were touring Main Engineering.  He got terrifically bored and disappeared.  I have no idea where he has gone.  Tuvok is orchestrating a search now."* * * * * *B'Elanna sighed with dissatisfaction.  There was just something about a sonic shower that didn't make the grade.  She fiddled with the controls, trying to squeeze a little more pressure out of them.  She hated, absolutely HATED it when Tom made a fool of her in front of the crew.  When was he going to learn that?  *Maybe this relationship is doomed,* she thought.  *The ship is just too . . . small for the both of us sometimes.*  She agitatedly switched the shower off and stepped outside."BOO!""AHhhh!"  she shrieked, grabbing her robe.  "YOU LITTLE TARG!!  WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!"Her shouting frightened q and he instantly burst into tears screaming, "I want my mama!  I want my mama!  I WANT MY MAMA!!""I'm sorry, q" she said more calmly, pulling her robe around her.  "It's just -- you scared me!  I didn't mean to yell.  Okay?  You can stop crying now."q settled down into sniffling.  "I want my mama.  She lef' me." B'Elanna didn't know a lot about children, but she knew enough to recognize one who needed a nap.  She finished tying her belt around her waist and, kneeling, she scooped him up and sat down in her chair with him.  "She'll be back," she said soothingly.  "She's just away having fun with your dad."q kept crying for several minutes while B'Elanna rocked back and forth in her chair with him.  Finally he quieted down and cuddled up next to her.  "You're nice," he said.  "I like you."*One minute I'm 'The Enemy,' the next I'm 'Best Friend Number 1,'* B'Elanna thought, amused.  "My name is B'Elanna.""Are you a Klingon?" q asked softly, fading fast.B'Elanna was taken aback.  "Yes, my mother was a Klingon.  How did you know?"q sighed, getting very sleepy.  "My daddy likes to scare Klingons.  He lets me come sometimes.""Well, you scared me, too, that's for sure."  They sat together for a while longer, saying nothing.q smiled, nearly asleep.  "I scared the Klingon.""Yes, you did," she replied softly."I wanna tell Parith.""Who?""Parith.""Who's that?"q jerked his head slightly.  Tom, who had been standing in his own shower, appeared in a flash.  "Parith," said q.  Then he was asleep.Tom first noticed something was amiss when he felt a chill.  He had been in the shower, eyes closed, as he reflected on the situation with B'Elanna.  Suddenly he felt the chill, almost immediately followed by a muffled giggle from behind him.His eyes popped open in alarm.  Disoriented for only a second, he caught his breath as he realized where he wasn't.  He had already started to turn towards the sound of the giggle before his brain caught up with his body and he froze.  B'Elanna tried to contain herself, if only to prevent q from waking, but found it a near impossible feat.  She quickly rose and carried the sleeping q into her bedroom, depositing him not-so-gently on her bed, all the while choked laughter building up inside her.Tom moved just as quickly, grabbing the nearest thing he could find -- which just happened to be B'Elanna's discarded, spaghetti-soaked uniform jacket lying conveniently on the floor.  Tying it securely around his waist, he winced as he felt the already crusting sauce and noodles against his body.  He was shaking his head in mute disgust when B'Elanna reappeared.  One look at the pilot and she lost all control, roaring in laughter until she collapsed on the chair, tears streaming down her face.  Tom stood there, bright red (and not just from the sauce), and endured the ridicule.  If this meant B'Elanna would forgive him, he could certainly grin and bear it -- although he hadn't counted on baring it all.When she had finally composed herself enough to be able to look up at Tom, he grabbed the ends of the jacket and curtsied, which sent B'Elanna off in another fit of laughter.  Tom took advantage of her incapacitated state and ran into the bathroom.  He would have to clean himself up -- again -- before he could he even think of trying to get back to his quarters.The door slightly ajar, B'Elanna eventually approached the bathroom.  "Um, Lieutenant, would you like me to replicate you another uniform?" she asked sweetly."If I had any rations left I'd say yes.  Unfortunately I'm all out, so I'll just have to somehow get one from my quarters.""Well, if you'd like to hang on to my jacket a little while longer . . ." B'Elanna offered slyly.Tom popped his head out the door.  "Gee, thanks, B'Elanna, you're too generous."  He gave her a good-natured grin and her breath caught.  Looking at him, with his tousled hair, sparkling blue eyes and mischievous grin, she felt her heart skip a beat.  Must the man be so darn good looking?!Tom continued, "I think I have a better idea.  Computer," he called out softly to the air.  "What is the location of Harry Kim?"* * * * * * He'd avoided the spaghetti fight, a fact he was proud of.  His only regret was not being able to see his best friends smeared in the stuff.  Now THAT would have been priceless.  And he could just imagine Seven's beautiful features as -- "Paris to Kim."  Ah ha!  Perhaps he'd get a chance after all!He tapped his combadge.  "Kim here.""Um, Harry?  Could you do me a favor?""Sure.  What is it?"There was a short silence, in which Harry could almost hear Paris' embarrassment.  "I need a fresh uniform from my quarters."  That wasn't altogether such an unusual request.  "And undershirt, boots, socks and underwear."  Harry grinned, but resisted the urge to comment."Sure, Paris.  Where are you?"Again, there was the embarrassed silence.  "B'Elanna's quarters."B'Elanna couldn't hide her smirk as the comlink with Harry closed.  Tom was blushing again -- and Harry wasn't even there yet!Tom sighed.  He needed to have a little talk with q.  What if the omnipotent kid had decided to plop him onto the bridge instead?  He didn't even want to think about it.  At least he felt relatively safe in B'Elanna's quarters -- not that she would ever let him live this down, of course.  And it wasn't even his fault!!   He could just imagine what Harry was going to say.   Well, Harry could just try and give him a hard time.  He'd just have to remind him of the time the ensign had ended up in the captain's quarters wearing one of Kes' dresses!Wrapping the towel he had borrowed from B'Elanna a little tighter around his waist, Tom nonchalantly sat down on her couch to wait for Harry."So," Tom drolled, "care to tell me how it was exactly that I ended up in your quarters like I did?  Did q give you three wishes or something?"B'Elanna snorted, "Ha!  Don't go flattering yourself, Helmboy.  I had nothing to do with your, shall we say, untimely arrival.""Uh huh," came his smug reply."I didn't!" she retorted indignantly."It's okay, B'Elanna.  You don't have to pretend.  I understand."She moved so fast he didn't even see it coming.* * * * * * Harry Kim stood outside B'Elanna's quarters.  He could have sworn he heard someone laughing, but it was muffled.  He pressed the bell for the third time.  "Guys?  Are you in there?""Hold on a minute, Harry!" Harry heard B'Elanna say through the door.B'Elanna was sitting on the floor, holding her sides trying not to laugh anymore.  "We have to let him in, Tom.""No.  I am NOT letting Harry in, especially when we're like this!"  Tom was trying to sound stern, but the fact that he was gasping for breath kind of made it impossible."Yes, you are.  Or, to be more correct, *I* am.  These are my quarters, and it's the only way you'll be able to leave," B'Elanna said as she stood up.  "Come on in, Harry."Harry entered, and the first thing he noticed was the busted pillow sitting over Tom's head, the contents spread through out the room.  "What happened here?"Tom and B'Elanna looked at each other.  They both started to say something, then stopped.  All of a sudden, q came out from B'Elanna's room, dashed up to Harry and said very proudly, "TICKLE MONSTER!"Before Harry could respond, the young Q had launched himself onto the ensign, and was tickling as only a Q can.  Harry, helpless, dissolved on the floor, convulsed with laughter."Stop q, stop it right now!  That's enough!"  Unfortunately, his commands were particularly ineffective, punctuated by gasps and guffaws as he struggled to take in air.Tom took advantage of the chaos and slipped into B'Elanna's bathroom to change.  Though neither of the officers noticed his absence (B'Elanna was too thoroughly enjoying the spectacle before her, and Harry was otherwise occupied), q's antics came to a screeching halt."Parith!" he commanded."One minute!" came the call from the bathroom.The young Q sighed and was about to do something, when inspiration struck B'Elanna.  She crouched on the floor and drew Harry and q closer, conspiratorially.  Still clutching a handful of feathers, she began to whisper."When Tom, er, Parith comes out of that door, here's what we're gonna do."  She quickly related her plan."I'll be right out!" called Tom, still in B'Elanna's bathroom."Oh, no hurry at all!""Take your time!""That's otay!" answered the others in unison.Surrounding the door to the bathroom, the two senior officers and the tiny omnipotent being lay in wait for their victim.  They would have to time it perfectly.  Tom had an impressive set of reflexes, and their prank would fall flat if Tom had even half a second to figure out what was going on.  B'Elanna fought to keep a straight face as Tom opened the door and stepped out.  "Is that better?" she asked innocently.Then, swiftly, just as they'd planned, Harry and q leapt for Tom simultaneously.  With her handful of feathers, B'Elanna reached for his turtleneck . . . and suddenly found her mouth stuffed with feathers.She didn't know how he did it, but he'd managed to make a complete 180 of her prank.  The three of them burst out into uncontrollable fits of laughter as she glared at them, her puffed-out cheeks growing hot in both anger and embarrassment.  She spat the feathers out, leaving a damp lump on the floor, and waited with a clenched jaw for the laughter to subside."You should have seen your face, B'Elanna," Tom said as he gasped for air.  "It was the last thing you expected!"  The three of them began giggling all over again."Are you finished yet?" she demanded.  She thought she could get back at Tom good for pushing her into the bowl of spaghetti, but here she was again, humiliated and the joke on her.  *At least*, she thought, as she plopped onto her chair, *this time there isn't a huge crowd of people around.*q seemed to be enjoying the display the most.  Still giggling, he hobbled over to B'Elanna and climbed into her lap.  "Parith was funny."Looking at the boy and his gap-toothed smile, her temper dampened.  It was getting harder to still be mad, and she had to admit, there was a twisted bit of humor to it all.  She'd gotten what she deserved.  "Yes, Parith was funny, wasn't he?"  As she looked up at Tom she too started to chuckle.q yawned as he snuggled up in B'Elanna's arms.  "He got you good," he mumbled as his eyes drifted closed, a smile still playing on his face.  In a few moments, he was again sound asleep.Harry shook his head in wonder.  "You and Tom have such a way with children."In an instant, B'Elanna shot him a glare."What?" Harry asked defensively, wondering why B'Elanna was giving him a death look.  "I was just making a comment!"B'Elanna didn't respond, but dropped her eyes to q, who was now sleeping peacefully in her lap."I think there's someone else who needs a nap," Tom whispered loudly to Harry.Harry instantly backed up a step, lest he face B'Elanna's wrath, but when B'Elanna looked up, she was smiling.  "Shall I get you your teddy bear, Tom?" She asked sweetly.Tom grinned in return.  "Now, B'Elanna," he said, his tone dropping seductively, "you know I only sleep with him when you're not available."B'Elanna was silent a moment, totally unprepared for Tom's answer, but not willing to let him get the upper hand.  Luckily, Harry saved her.  "Should q and I leave you two alone?" he asked, grinning as he arched his eyebrows in question.Before B'Elanna could answer, the ship shook and the captain's voice came over the comlink.  "Red alert!  All senior officers to the bridge."  As the klaxons started whirling, q woke up."What's going on, 'Lanna?" he asked sleepily."I don't know," B'Elanna answered, gently lifting him up.  *Why in Heaven's name didn't I get dressed?*  "But we have to get to the bridge."  She paused.  "I suppose we should bring you with us, since everyone else will be at their stations."The four made their way to the bridge, B'Elanna carrying the youngest member of their group.  When they arrived, Tom and Harry went straight to their stations.  B'Elanna paused by the captain's chair."I didn't know what else to do with him," she explained, seeing the captain's questioning gaze.  Setting her charge in the seat to the captain's right, she squatted down to his level.  "q, can I trust you to be a good boy and stay in this chair?"He gazed up at her with his big brown eyes for a moment, then nodded slowly.  "I be good."B'Elanna smiled.  "Good.  Thank you." She made her way to the engineering station as the ship shook again, more violently this time."Shields at 85 percent," Tuvok reported.  "Captain, our phasers are having little effect on the alien ship.""Try the torpedoes."Tuvok fired, then reported, "Direct hit.  Their shields are down to 47 percent.""Target their weapons and their engines and take them off-line.""Weapons off-line, warp engines down.  They still have impulse engines.""Good enough.  Mr. Kim, try hailing them again.""They're responding."  He sounded surprised.  "Audio only.""I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation starship Voyager.  Why are you attacking my ship?" Her voice held an edge and barely concealed anger, but she kept herself in check."You have a Q on your ship."  It was a statement, not a question."Yes, we do.  What's your point?" she asked carefully."His father is one of our greatest enemies.  Possessing his son will be one of our greatest victories.""And you think we're just going to hand him over?"  Kathryn sounded appalled, as Tom had turned around to look at her in shock."If you don't, we'll take him by force.""It's obvious you don't know who you're dealing with," she glowered."And it's equally obvious, Captain, you have no idea who YOU are dealing with."  She spoke smoothly, in courteous yet patronizing tones."At this point in time I don't care to.""That's unfortunate."Janeway cocked an eyebrow in question."You see, Captain, this conversation is finished.  Either hand over the child, or your ship will be boarded, your crew killed, and your young charge brought into my care."  Her special emphasis on the last word sent chills down every spine on the bridge.q, with his impeccable timing, chose that moment to make yet another demand.  "Toy!" he shrieked."Not now," whispered B'Elanna under her breath."TOY!"  He pointed to the viewscreen and began to giggle.  "Fun toy!"Before anyone could act, or even speak, the bridge was filled with an all too familiar blinding light.  What came next was nothing short of astounding.The alien ship was no longer in space.It was running rampant on the bridge, the size of a small model ship, firing barely perceptible photon torpedoes at everything in sight.Laughing gleefully, the young Q was in hot pursuit.Momentarily stunned by the sudden turn of events, the Voyager crew simply stared at the 'toy' ship flying around their bridge.  The alien vessel skirted around the ops station, q still on its tail, before it made its way to the front of the bridge.  It didn't take long before it found its path blocked by the giant viewscreen.  Impotent weapons no longer firing, the ship turned to face its would-be victims and seemed to hover hesitantly in front of the bridge crew.q stepped in front of the ship and reached out to grab it with his chubby hands.  But the ship quickly shifted to his left.  Q followed suit and the ship immediately jumped to his right.  Enjoying the cat-and-mouse game, q giggled with delight as he also jumped to his right, swatting the ship like a ball.  It flew towards B'Elanna's engineering station and she automatically reached out to capture it.  But the aliens somehow managed to maneuver themselves out of her reach and on to a trajectory right towards Tom.The ship came to an abrupt halt less than a foot from Tom's face.  q ran towards his toy, ready to swat it again to keep the game going, but Tom, already in motion to avert a collision, moved quickly to grab him and pulled him up into his arms."That's enough!" the captain's stern voice resonated across the bridge.  Hands on her hips, she approached Tom and q.  q, who had been squirming in Tom's arms, immediately stilled at the captain's tone.  As he caught her gaze it began to dawn on him something wasn't quite right and that this maybe wasn't such a great game after all.Seeing the scared look in the child's eyes, Kathryn softened her gaze somewhat and continued more quietly,  "q, you can't just go around changing others into . . . into," she faltered briefly, "toys!""Why not?" q asked in all innocence."Yeah, why not?" Tom echoed dryly.  Janeway glared at the pilot.  He shrugged, impenitent, "Actually, I thought it was rather quick thinking on q's part."Exasperation evident in her voice, the captain retorted, "q has to learn how to deal with other species.  And he has to learn to respect them as well.  Otherwise he will follow in his father's footsteps, leaving a trail of aliens in his wake just looking for an opportunity to get back at him.  Which is exactly what happened to Q when he was kicked out of the Continuum and landed on the Enterprise.  I'd rather not have history repeat itself.""Nonetheless," Tuvok's dispassionate voice interrupted.  "It would be a wise security measure to maintain the alien's current . . . position . . . until a more suitable course of action can be devised and implemented."Janeway looked at her security officer with a small smile.  "Agreed, Tuvok.  I have never been one to look a gift horse in the mouth.  Since our 'visitors' are already temporarily indisposed, I see no reason to rush into anything."With a slight nod, Tuvok offered, "Then may I also suggest that our 'visitors' be transported to the brig until their presence is required?""That is an excellent suggestion, Tuvok.  And then I want a senior staff meeting so we can discuss our options."  She turned to Chakotay and added, "Perhaps it would be best if q stayed with Ensign Wildman for the time being."  Chakotay nodded his agreement.Kathryn began thinking about how, exactly, to get their 'visitors' to the brig.  They certainly couldn't expect the ship to fly itself there.  Just then, Tom, who'd been watching the alien ship intently, reached out and grabbed it.  "HA!  Gotcha, you little bugger!" he cried triumphantly, cupping it between his hands.  She looked at him and raised an eyebrow."Sorry, Captain." Tom said sheepishly.  "I didn't have anything to do, and -- "She smiled.  "Don't worry about it, Tom.  But since you have the ship in a pretty effective trap, could you get it down to the brig?  Ensign Turnikof should be down there."Tom smiled, glad to have something to do.  "No problem, Captain."Chakotay held his hand out to q and smiled, "Why don't we go find Ensign Wildman and Naomi."q folded his arms and glared at Chakotay.  "I don't WANT to stay with Ensign Wildman.  I want to say with B'Elanna!" he said petulantly.Chakotay tried to sound as gentle as possible as he explained, "q, B'Elanna has duties to perform.  She'll see you afterwards, right B'Elanna?"He gave Torres a meaningful look and she hastily added, "Yes, as soon as I can."q shook his head and stuck out his lower lip.  "No, no, no!"  He started banging his fists against the wall.  "I want B'Elanna!  I want B'Elanna!""Stop it, q.  You can't have everything you want the instant you want it.  Now be a good boy and we'll replicate you some toys.  A ball, or something," said the captain firmly."Don't want toys.  I want B'Elanna!  I want my ship!"  A full-blown temper tantrum seemed imminent.Paris stepped in.  "q, we'll be off duty soon.  But until then you're just going to have to stay with Ensign Wildman.  Do you understand?"q sat down where he stood and prepared to scream.  He inhaled deeply and got ready, but Tom knelt down in front of him, still holding the tiny enemy ship.  "No," he said firmly.  "We'll make you some toys, but you cannot just start screaming.""Why not?"  asked q, miffed."Because I said so," replied Tom.q looked thoughtful.  Then he clapped his chubby hands.  There appeared before him small replicas of both Tom and B'Elanna.  Tom gasped in surprise causing q to chuckle gleefully."Congratulations, Lieutenant," said Tuvok serenely.  "You're an action figure.""Oh my gosh!" started Tom.  "Look at -- hey, OUCH!!"The captain of the little ship had brains, and she was accustomed to the ways of The Continuum.  She had electrified the hull and Tom let go of it in a hurry.  While Tom didn't know it, the enemy captain had actually done the pilot a favor.  No one goes after a Q unprepared.  A renegade Q was present on that ship.  He had lost some but not all of his powers after ending up on the wrong side in the Q's recent civil war.  Q had sat on the tribunal that had reduced him to his present sub-standard state.  Now he had seen his chance to take revenge against Q through his son.  As soon as Tom let go of the tiny ship, Q2 transported it back to its previous coordinates and before the crew could react, it resumed its proper size and cloaked.*Time for Plan B,* thought Q2.* * * * * *"Stations," Kathryn called as soon as the enemy ship disappeared.  Her command brought order back to the bridge immediately.  q, who was sitting happily on the floor playing with his figures, was forgotten for the moment."Tom, get us out of here, warp 7," Kathryn ordered him before slapping her communicator."Parith kiss 'Lanna!" q's giggled phrase turned all eyes to him, despite the danger they all knew they were in.  q clutched a figure in each hand and was squashing them against each other.  B'Elanna busied herself at her station.Tom felt heat creep into his cheeks and, not for the first time, cursed his somewhat pale complexion.  He looked over at the senior officers to find them both barely containing their mirth despite the seriousness of the situation.  Tom's blush deepened as he dropped his eyes."Puts a whole new spin on Ken and Barbie, doesn't it?" Chakotay chuckled."Ken and Barbie?" Harry's confused question came from the back of the room."They were dolls that were very popular on 20th century earth," Tom explained, smiling as he wondered where Chakotay had learned about Barbies.Kathryn stifled a giggle at Chakotay's mention of Ken and Barbie.  While they were going over their back stories on New Earth, she'd mentioned how her sister's obsession with the 400 year-old dolls had driven her crazy as a child.  He'd had so much trouble grasping the concept of little plastic dolls in pink cars that she'd gone so far as to replicate a Ken and Barbie for him, using their computer's historical database.  *I wonder what happened to them when we returned to Voyager?*  Thinking of Chakotay playing with Ken and Barbie during his off-hours forced her to stifle another giggle.Chakotay glanced over at Kathryn, who was obviously struggling not to burst out laughing.  He innocently raised an eyebrow, as if to ask her what was so funny.  Then he realized that giving her the chance to tease him on the bridge may not have been the best idea.  Luckily, Harry came to his rescue."Hey Tom, how do YOU know about 20th century dolls?"Tom grinned at his friend.  "One of my sisters loved them.  I often got roped into playing with her.""You played with dolls?" Harry managed to resist out-right laughter, but he chuckled softly."Oh yeah," Tom replied, nodding.  "We pretended they were members of Starfleet.  There was the brave captain, who, along with her devoted, though sometimes annoying first officer, were lost with their crew in deep space all alone.  It was up to them to try and get their crew home."Kathryn arched an eyebrow at Tom.  "And did they get them home?""Yeah, they did.  Thanks to the help of the brave and dashing helm officer.  And of course, the inventive and beautiful chief engineer," he added, seeing B'Elanna's scowl.She looked around at all the amused faces.  "Did I miss something?"q looked up at B'Elanna's voice.  "'Lanna!" he cried, standing up and toddling over to her.  He held up the figures to her.  "Parith kiss 'Lanna!"B'Elanna was dumbfounded as she stared at him, mouth agape.  After a moment she looked up to see everyone on the bridge staring at her and, with the exception of Tuvok, smiling.  Seeing no other option she picked up q.  He clasped his arms around her neck, peeking over her shoulder at the figures he was still entranced with.  A moment later the ship rocked, hit by phaser fire.Janeway sighed.  "Tuvok, what can we do about that ship?""The enemy vessel is still cloaked, Captain.  Obviously they have regained warp drive.  I cannot get a positive lock until the ship fires again, and by then, the ship will have moved again and the lock will be lost.""Explain.""The ship is de-cloaking for .3 seconds to fire at us, then it immediately cloaks again.  To hit the ship, we would have to get a lock as soon as it begins to de-cloak and then fire.  We must be close enough to the ship that the torpedo will hit it before it begins to cloak again."Janeway looked at Chakotay questioningly.  He shrugged helplessly and she sighed.  "Does anybody have any suggestions on how we can accomplish this?" q looked around the bridge and observed the expressions of his aunts and uncles.  They didn't look too happy.  Showing an unusual decorum, q whispered "Lanna, what's going on?"B'Elanna looked down at the small charge in her arms and considered the best way to approach this.  The normal reaction to such a small child would be to tell the child not to worry; however, it was B'Elanna's experience that all that did was make aforementioned child either more inquisitive or annoyed and cranky.  Neither state was ideal for q."Well," the engineer tried to think of a simple way to explain it.  "Do you feel how the ship is getting hit?"  The child nodded.  "Well, we can't see the ship that is doing that.  And if we can't see them, we can't make them stop.  And if we can't make them stop, they could hurt us very badly."q screwed up his face in an effort to comprehend this.  In this situation, with this expression on his face, B'Elanna mused, q looked just like any normal child.  No one would guess he had the power to redirect planets.  The chief engineer blinked hard.  A 20th century phrase Tom was in the habit of using recently made it's way through her head.  *Duh.*"Captain," B'Elanna said, bringing all attention on the bridge toward her.  "q SHRANK that ship.  Don't you think we could use his power to somehow disable their cloaking capabilities?"Janeway considered this for a moment, then said in a commanding yet gentle voice, "q, come here."q made his way over to the command chairs, then looked up at Janeway earnestly.  "Yes, Auntie Kathy?"Kathryn smiled down at the boy.  He could be a nuisance at times, but he really was a sweetheart.  "q, do you remember how you shrank that ship?"q nodded.  "Want me to do it again?"  He seemed pleased at the prospect.She shook her head.  "No.  But how'd you like to do something else to it?"q's face lit up.  "Like what?""Right now, that ship is hiding.  Do you think you could make it stop?"q thought for a moment, then screwed up his face and nodded.  "Uh huh.""Will you?"q gave her a big smile.  "I just did.""I concur, Captain." Tuvok interjected.  "The ship is indeed uncloaked.  Firing torpedoes."It was the moment the renegade Q had been waiting for.  In the instant that Tuvok fired two quantum torpedoes, Q2 made his move.  There was a blinding flash as Q2, with a quick wave of his hand, put q in the best hiding place he knew of -- another dimension.  He had just enough power to tear a hole in the time/space continuum and make a pocket.  He tucked q right in it.  But Q2 was smart enough not to stop there.  He wanted the boy kept safe, so while he was at it, he decided to grab a couple of baby-sitters.  The boy was holding replicas of two of the senior officers.  Those would do.All the bridge officers saw, however, was the flash.  q had disappeared, taking Paris and Torres with him."Tuvok!" shouted the captain.  "Status report!""The enemy ship is disabled, Captain," replied Tuvok evenly.  "Scanners show no indication of Lieutenants Paris or Torres on the ship.""Hail that ship, Harry," she snapped.  "I want to talk to those people."  She turned to Chakotay.  "Commander, it's beginning to be a long day.""What the -- !" started Tom.  "Captain!  I'm right here!  We're all right here!  Don't you see us?" Tom waved his arms in front of his commanding officer's face but to no avail.  To the perspective of the Voyager crew, Tom, B'Elanna, and q were invisible."Tom, will you stop jumping around like an idiot?  Do you really think they just mistook you for your chair or something?  They can't see us!"  She got down on her knees and took q gently by the shoulders.  "q?  Where are we?  What did you do to us?  Is this another game?  Why are we invisible?"q's little lower lip trembled and tears threatened to spill.  "I din' do it.""Of course not," said a voice harshly.  "You haven't got that sort of power.  I did it."He was older, dressed in a gray uniform with the rank of a general -- a Civil War general --  and he spoke with a Southern drawl.  "At ease, Lieutenants."Tom and B'Elanna started to protest but Q2 held up a condescending hand.  "No, don't thank me.  You are hearby off-duty until I decide I need you for something else.  You have the run of this ridiculous machine you call a ship.  Of course, you needn't bother trying to cross the gap from where you are to where they are" -- here he indicated the bridge officers grimly hailing the enemy ship -- "so I suggest you make the best of it.  Entertain the child until I come back for him.""You'll regret this, Q," Tom said sternly.  "No Q has ever messed with a Paris and come out the better.  Put us back right now."Q2 leaned his head back and roared with laughter.  "Son, I like you.  You have gall.  Here, I'll give you a present.  This'll help you with the little one and keep you on your toes, as well."  He waved his hand over the toy Tom and B'Elanna figures still tightly clutched in q's chubby fists.  The two action figures sprang to life.  Q2 disappeared."Hey!  Quit squeezing me!" the tiny B'Elanna yelled."Now what have you gotten me into, Paris?"  She glared at Tiny Tom as she continued to struggle in q's grasp."Me?" Tom shot back.  "Why is everything always my fault?""Because it is!"Life-size B'Elanna looked over at life-size Tom to find him laughing hysterically.  Unable to help herself, B'Elanna chimed in."And just what do you find so funny?" Tiny B'Elanna snapped at the two giants who were looking over q's shoulder."Sorry," Tom managed to get out.  "I'm just not used to seeing myself as a live action figure.""I'm glad we amuse you so much," Tiny B'Elanna growled.  "Now get us away from this half-pint!"Tom tentatively stepped forward, and kneeled down so he was eye level with q.  "q, can I see your toy?"q's response was to grip the doll-size B'Elanna tighter and back away.  "NO!  My toy!!"Not wanting to see either of their counterparts get hurt, B'Elanna stepped forward.  "q, you don't want to play with those boring old toys all alone, do you?  Why don't you put them down and we'll all play a game."q pondered this for a moment.  "Game?" he finally said, his hold on the figures loosening.  "What game?""Any game you want, q," Tom supplied.  "But you have to give us the toys before we start.""House?""All right, q, if you give us the dolls first we'll play 'house.'"q reluctantly extended his pudgy little hands and deposited Tiny Tom in B'Elanna's hands and Tiny B'Elanna in Tom's hands.Almost at once forgetting about the figures in anticipation of this new game he cried, "I'm the baby, gotta love me!""Right," replied B'Elanna dryly.  She gazed down at the Tiny Tom she was cradling carefully in her palm and frowned.  "And what are we supposed to do with you?""They can play house too!" q called out cheerfully, clapping his pudgy hands.  There was a brief flash of light and a miniature Victorian-style house appeared.  In another blinding flash, the two live-action figurines disappeared from their counterparts hands, presumably ending up in the doll house."Not bad," they heard Tiny Tom whistle from inside the house.  "Check out the size of this bed!"  There was a tiny *oomph!* then Tiny Tom's voice: "I don't know what was going through YOUR dirty little mind, Lieutenant, but I was just thinking about having a nice nap."The three of them could hear Tiny B'Elanna's indignant snort in response.Before either Tom or B'Elanna could respond to their pint-sized counterparts, their attention was abruptly pulled from the doll house to the activity on the bridge.  They watched, more than a little disconcerted, as Captain Janeway walked right through the doll house sitting on the floor next to Tom's station."Hey!" Tiny Tom shouted indignantly.  "What's going on up there?"Tom and B'Elanna shared a brief, frustrated look before Tom reached down for the doll house and quickly moved it in front of his station, below the large viewscreen.The relocation did not go over well with the occupants.  "Do you mind!?" bellowed Tiny B'Elanna.  "I'd like to avoid a concussion!""Weird may be part of the job, but this is just a little TOO weird for me," Tom muttered under his breath."We've got to figure out some way to let the captain know where we are," B'Elanna began as she paced the front of the bridge, "or find a way to get out of this ourselves.  I can't just stay here and do nothing but . . . *baby-sit!*"  She stopped and glared murderously at the ship on the viewscreen.  "I'm not even dressed!"q was oblivious to the seriousness of the situation the lieutenants were finding themselves in.  To him this was just a new game and he wanted to play.  He plopped himself down in front of the doll house and pulled out Tiny Tom.Tom tiredly rubbed his hand over his face.  This was giving him a big headache.  "Maybe if our . . . our . . . whatever they are," his hand swept towards their tiny twins, "can keep q occupied we can concentrate on getting ourselves out of this.""Fine with me, but where do we start?"Tom pondered for a moment.  "q still has his powers; we just don't know how much he can do.""Do you think he can put us back in the right dimension?" B'Elanna asked, looking at the toddler with uncertainty."Well, there's only one way to find out, right?"  Tom knelt down next to q.  He winced as he saw Tiny B'Elanna give Tiny Tom a punch in the arm.  What had he done now?  He cleared his throat."Uh, q?  B'Elanna and I just thought of another game we'd like to play, but we're going to need your help, okay?"q looked up at him with a frown.  "Don't wanna play another game.  I like THIS one!""That's okay, q," Tom continued with a smile, "you can still play this game, but B'Elanna and I want to play a different game for awhile.  Do you think you can make it so Auntie Kathryn and the others can see us again so they can play with us?"q eyed him suspiciously.  He liked having both Big Tom and Big B'Elanna and Tiny Tom and Tiny B'Elanna to play with.  But he liked Auntie Kathryn, too, and maybe she'd want to play with them.  He didn't want her to feel left out."Okay!" q agreed.  He clapped his hands together.  Nothing happened.  The bridge crew still couldn't see them.  Puzzled, q looked at his hands and tried again.  And again, nothing happened.Suddenly afraid, q's lips began to tremble and his eyes welled up.  "Oh, great!" muttered B'Elanna, both frustrated with their situation and concerned for q's welfare at the same time.  She reached down to pull q into her arms.  "It's okay, q.  It's not your fault.  We're going to find a way to make everything right again." q sniffed and buried his head in her chest.B'Elanna gave Tom a *look what you've done now* look.  He just shrugged helplessly.  "Hey, we couldn't know until we tried.  But he was able to create the dollhouse so we know he has some powers.  We just have to find something he can do that will help us get out of this."  "Well, the first thing you can do for me, q, is to help me change clothes."  B'Elanna indicated her robe.  "This is too . . . chilly.""Oh," said q.  "Kay."  He waved his chubby arm and a new uniform appeared on the floor beside where B'Elanna was kneeling.  He then went right back to watching Tiny Tom and Little Lanna exploring their house."Uh, q?" she asked.  She had hoped for something a bit more . . . immediate."It's okay, Torres," laughed Tom.  "I won't look.  Scout's honor."She gave him another look, but didn't say anything.  She glanced around the bridge.  Janeway still stood by Tom's station, Chakotay a couple of meters behind her.  Tuvok stood rock solid at tactical, and Harry stood at ops.  As she watched, Seven came through the turbolift.  *Great,* she thought.  *The gang's all here.  All we need now is Neelix and the doctor.*Tom burst out laughing at her dismayed expression.  "Go ahead, Lieutenant.  They're in a different dimension.  You're not modest, are you?  Haven't you ever been to a Betazoid wedding?  I've been LOTS of times," he giggled."Lieutenant," she said coolly, "get that smirk off your face or I will get it off for you.  Q2 did say we had the run of the ship, right?  I'll be back, if you don't mind."  She snatched up the uniform and with it walked through the turbolift doors.  Literally. * * * * * *Captain Janeway, however, knew nothing of annoyed lieutenants, miniature or otherwise, dollhouses, or even Q2.  All she knew was that a mysterious ship had fired on her and that two of her senior officers were missing.  "Harry?  Do you have them?""Onscreen, Captain.""Captain!" interrupted Tuvok.  "The ship!  It's -- The viewscreen shimmered and Captain Janeway gasped.  It had been a long time since she had seen the black and silver uniforms of the Romulan empire.  A striking dark-haired woman spoke.  "I am Siria, Commanding officer of the scout ship Romii.  Cease firing upon us immediately and release your Q hostage to our care or you will be destroyed.""We don't have a Q hostage, Commander," Janeway answered truthfully, her calm, strong voice betraying none of her dismay at the recent turn of events.  *We don't even have the non-hostage Q we're supposed to have!*"You lie!" snarled Siria, leaning menacingly into the viewscreen.  "Like all of your kind!  Humans, a pitiful, puny race," she snorted.  "Release the Q, then leave this region of space, and perhaps we will not destroy you.  But, try my patience, and I will not hesitate to fire."With a quick flick of her wrist, Janeway acknowledged the report of the scout ship's status which Tuvok had routed to her terminal.  Looking up at the Romulan commander, Janeway called the other woman's bluff.  "You do not have the firepower to destroy my ship, Commander, and we both know it.  Stand down!" she commanded."You dare give orders in Romulan space?" the other woman demanded, her eyes practically bulging out of her head at the thought.Janeway silently studied her Romulan counterpart as her mind worked to integrate this latest piece of information.  *Romulan space?  Did this woman really think . . ?*"Commander, with all due respect to the Romulan Empire," Chakotay intoned from Janeway's left, "I doubt a territorial claim in the Delta Quadrant is going to fly!""The Delta Quadrant?  What are you talking about?" Siria demanded in a bark of laughter.  "We're in the Gorith sector, less than a day from Romulus itself," she assured a bemused Commander Chakotay.Unable to squelch all hope, Janeway turned expectantly toward her Operations officer.  "Mr. Kim?  Our location?" she asked."Right where we're supposed to be," Harry sighed.  "The -- ""They're correct, Commander Siria," confirmed one of her junior officers from the shadowy depths of the Romulan ship's bridge.  "I have sorted out the strange readings we have been receiving for the past few minutes.  We're not in the Gorith sector.  If we're anywhere, then I would have to say it IS the Delta Quadrant," he concluded miserably."Q!!!" screamed Siria, clenching her fists in obvious rage.Turning toward the sudden flash of light, Janeway and Chakotay openly gaped at a gray clad, older gentleman who lounged in the captain's chair, gingerly fingering his white mustache.  "General!" the captain gasped.Reaching for her hand, the older man kissed Janeway's hand as he stood to greet her properly.  "Captain Kathryn.  Lovely to see you again."Kathryn snatched her hand away from the Q she remembered all too well from the Continuum's civil war.  The Q who had attempted to execute her wasn't someone she would likely ever forget.  A Q she never thought she'd have the misfortune of seeing again.Tom also remembered Q2 vividly -- he'd been the one to capture the general when Voyager had joined ranks with Q's followers.  Now he watched helplessly, invisible to those around him, as his captain confronted the alien."What is the meaning of this . . . this game you're playing?" she demanded angrily."Oh, my dear Captain, this is most certainly not a game," Q2 replied with an ominous smile.Tom ran towards the turbolift, calling B'Elanna's name urgently.  "I hope you're dressed, 'cause we've got a bit of a problem out here."  A uniformed B'Elanna suddenly emerged through the turbolift door, causing Tom to take a step back to avoid a collision.  B'Elanna surveyed the bridge, her eyes widening with surprise at the sight of the Romulan commander on the viewscreen.  She turned a questioning gaze on Tom who shrugged helplessly.  "We've got to find a way to get back into OUR dimension and fast!""Not a game?" Kathryn repeated slowly, knowing the Q inclination to play games with humanoids.  Tom and B'Elanna paused to listen, hoping to learn something that could help them.Q2 leaned towards the captain and whispered conspiratorially, "I have a little score to settle with our old friend, Q.  And, lucky you, you just happened to be in the right place at the right time!"  He sat, leaned back again in the chair, and resumed fingering his mustache with a self-satisfied air.  "I knew eventually Q would leave his child" -- he snorted the word in disgust -- "with you.  I just had to bide my time, and time was one thing I had plenty of, since Q convinced the Continuum I was a threat and should have my powers eliminated.  The coward!  He knew he was no match for me.  Fortunately, the Continuum was not completely swayed by Q's self-serving declarations and they determined I could retain some of my powers.  I have been waiting for this moment ever since."Kathryn tilted her head towards the Romulan commander, "And how do the Romulans fit into your plan?  I don't remember seeing them on the battlefield.""Ah, another case of being in the right place at the right time.  You see, when the Continuum stripped me of most of my powers, I relocated to the Alpha Quadrant, knowing that Q, with his obsession for humans, would most likely show up before too long."  The general chuckled.  "Fortunately, I still have friends in the Continuum.  One was kind enough to let me know the Q's had recently left their pride and joy in the safekeeping of another nemesis of mine, the crew of Voyager.  When the news came, I was biding my time in Romulan space.  My powers not being what they used to be, I had been hoping to pick up some useful information on Federation activities.  So when news of q here came, Commander Siria and her fancy, newly commissioned Romulan vessel just happened to be in the vicinity.  Since I didn't want to deplete any more energy than necessary, I decided to ask the dear Commander for a lift.  And just a few small, false sensor readings later, here we are!"Siria glared at the alien.  "You claimed you would lead us to important information the Federation planned to use against the Romulan Empire!" she snapped accusingly."And so I have," he grinned.  "Just imagine what the Federation could do with a trained q child in their arsenal."  Siria was not appeased."So you see," he continued cheerfully, "I can now, as they say, kill two birds with one stone.  I have the Q child AND I have Voyager."  He grinned wickedly and Tom felt his stomach turn.  He heard B'Elanna's low throated growl and at the same time felt q's hand take hold of his own.Looking down, he saw the child sidling closer to him with a frightened expression on his face.  *He may be young,* Tom thought, *but he can recognize that he's in danger.*  Tom lifted him into his arms.  The boy clung to Tom, staring at the alien who was one of his own kind and yet seemed intent on hurting him.   B'Elanna touched Tom's shoulder and whispered, "I've got an idea."Before she could continue, the general turned his attention in their direction, and, staring right at them, stated matter-of-factly, "My dear, you would just be wasting your time.  Why bother?"Startled, Kathryn looked at Chakotay.  Whom was he addressing?  Chakotay's puzzled expression didn't contain any answers.  She looked at the rest of her bridge crew.  Harry bewilderedly shook his head while Tuvok arched an eyebrow.   Suddenly it dawned on her.  "Tom and B'Elanna," she breathed with relief, certain she was correct.  "They're here, aren't they?" she charged the general.He shrugged nonchalantly, "For all the good it will do either of you.""What have you done with them?" she demanded."Why, nothing," he smiled unpleasantly.  "Yet.""I've heard enough!" B'Elanna muttered as she pulled on Tom's arm.  "Let's go!"  Tom moved to follow but halted when he heard the voices of their tiny twins."What do we do about them?" Tom asked dryly.B'Elanna grunted in frustration.  "I guess we'd better bring them along for now."  She hurriedly grabbed them.  Her not-so-gentle grasp didn't go unnoticed by the pair.  "Look," she snapped impatiently, "either you keep quiet or we leave you here.  Understood?  Good."They entered the turbolift and paused.  The thought occurred to Tom and B'Elanna at the same time - would the computer accept their voice commands?  Only one way to find out, Tom thought.  "Computer, Engineering."  Nothing."Figures, " he sighed."I wanna go to Engineering!" shouted q."Don't we all," muttered B'Elanna."I wanna go to Engineering NOW!" q clapped his hands together and in a flash Tom, B'Elanna, and company found themselves in Engineering.Tom grinned, "Well, what d'ya know!"B'Elanna snorted, "We'd better figure out what q can and cannot do and fast!""Right.  Well, for starters," Tom set q down on the floor and knelt down to face him.  "q, we're going to be pretty busy for awhile so do you think you can turn Tiny Tom and Tiny B'Elanna back into dolls for us?"q bobbed his head enthusiastically.  He knew the time for playing dolls was over and he wanted to help Auntie Kathryn.Tom and B'Elanna held their breaths.  Q2 had transformed the dolls -- could q undo what the other Q had done?Another flash and the miniatures were not only no longer animated, they were gone."Good work, q!" B'Elanna praised the beaming child.Tom rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "I wonder . . . ""What?""Well, q still has his powers, right?  And so far, the only thing he hasn't been able to do since we found ourselves behind the looking glass, so to speak, is return us to our own dimension.""Looking glass?  What's that?" a puzzled B'Elanna asked."Uh, long story.  Never mind.  The point is, I think q can still do everything he was able to do in OUR dimension.  We just have to figure out what we can do from here that will ruin the general's plan.  At least until q's parents show up.""Where ARE the other Qs anyway?  This is their mess -- why do we always end up in the middle of it?" B'Elanna grumbled.  She looked around Engineering, hoping for inspiration.  There had to be SOMETHING they could do.  And with any luck, they'd figure it out soon, while Q2 was still otherwise occupied on the bridge.  She hoped Captain Janeway would be able to keep him busy AND keep the Romulans from firing on them.Leaving q and Tom standing next to the humming warp core, B'Elanna strode purposefully toward an unattended terminal, hoping to check the ship's status.  Single-minded in her purpose, she didn't even see Joe Carey until she was almost on top of him.  Instinctively, B'Elanna tried side-stepping, but couldn't quite get out of the way.  Carey brushed right through her, their bodies merging for one horrifying moment."B'Elanna!" Tom called obviously worried.  Pulling q with him, he rushed across the cavernous room to her side.  "Are you all right?" he asked, cupping her cheek with his free hand."All right, 'Lanna?" q echoed in earnest concern."I'm fine," she responded automatically, her hand covering Tom's to hold it in place a moment longer.  "Though that did feel a little weird," she admitted with a wry grimace."You could feel Joe?" Tom asked hopefully.  "I mean, if you could feel him, maybe he could feel you.  Then, we might be able to find some way to communicate with the rest of the ship.""It doesn't look like he felt anything," B'Elanna sighed as she glanced toward her second in command.  Carey was consulting with Vorik and Nicoletti, apparently oblivious to their momentary merger just seconds before.  "And, I didn't feel him," she clarified.  "It was more of a psychological sensation.""What do we do now?" Tom asked, more of himself than the other two.  "We can't influence anything in the other dimension," he sighed, confirming this theory by tapping a few innocuous and, unfortunately, unregistered commands into a nearby console.  "We could dance around naked, singing old show tunes for all they'd notice!" he complained with a wave at Carey and the others.  "They can't see, hear, or feel us.""Well, that certainly wouldn't help any," B'Elanna snorted.  "You'd just end up scarring q for eternity!"  As she often did when confronted with a seemingly unsolvable problem, B'Elanna began to pace in circles around Tom and q, reciting the facts of their situation.  "We have to find some way to let them know where we are, and figure out some way to get back," she growled."Nay-nay," lisped q, tugging on Tom's sleeve.  Grabbing B'Elanna's arm as she came into range, the small omnipotent being flashed her a toothy grin, repeating himself.  "Nay-nay!" he exclaimed."Not now, q, we're trying to figure out what to do," Tom admonished, freeing B'Elanna's arm from the small boy's chubby fist.  "You don't have some way of zapping you're parents here, do you?" the pilot asked hopefully."Nope," q answered.  "Nay-nay!""You know, my parents always left my baby-sitters an emergency contact," Tom grumbled as B'Elanna began to pace again.  "I know this is a tad bit predictable," he began a few seconds later, "but is there any way Seven's Borg sensors might --"Fixing Tom with an unamused stare, B'Elanna reminded him, "Even the Borg are no match for the Q Continuum, and we're dealing with a Q here!  We need more than nanoprobes or a super-enhanced ocular unit this time!""Nay-nay!" q shrieked, jumping up and down."What is this 'nay-nay' thing, q?" B'Elanna asked, squatting down to look the boy in the eye.  "Because we don't have time for games right now.""Nay-nay help.  Nay-nay see," q offered, nodding his head enthusiastically.  "You see."With a flick of q's hand and a flash of light, the three found themselves instantly transported once again, this time to a darkened room.  "Nay-nay," q stage-whispered turning to point at Voyager's only resident child, who lay, still wide awake, in her bed."Naomi," B'Elanna concluded, the mystery solved."Aunt B'Elanna," Naomi answered with a whisper.  "What are you guys doing here?""You can see us?!"  B'Elanna asked incredulously, both surprised and relieved.Naomi stared at her, puzzled.  "Sure.  Why wouldn't I see you?""Computer, half-lights," Tom ordered, forgetting that although Naomi could see them, they were still in the other dimension.  When the room remained dark, the exasperated pilot sighed and asked Naomi to "do the honors."   Tom and B'Elanna then looked at each other, not quite knowing how to begin explaining their situation to the little girl.  Tom decided simple was better."Well, to make a long story short, there's another Q on board, a mean Q who doesn't like q or Voyager, and he's trying to hurt us.  He made q, B'Elanna and me invisible to the rest of crew.  Except you apparently can see us and q somehow knew that, so he brought us to you to help us."  Tom lifted q into his arms and gave him a grateful hug."How is it that Naomi can see us?" B'Elanna wondered out loud."You know, this reminds me of something . . . something from one of the 20th century vids I used to watch.""Not that Captain Proton again?" B'Elanna teased dryly.Tom chuckled softly.  "No, not this time, anyway.  But it WAS a science fiction show, about time travel, I think . . . what was it?  Oh, yeah!  This guy traveled through time to fix other people's lives.  Only no one could see him as himself because he always leaped into another person's body.""Like Seth did to you?"  The thought made B'Elanna angry all over again.Tom blanched at the memory.  He tried not to think about the alien and how he had tried, almost successfully, to replace him on board Voyager.  "Sort of.  But Sam -- that was his name -- always tried to make things better for everyone -- "Smiling slyly, B'Elanna nodded, "Ah, like Captain Proton again."  At Tom's impatient look she shrugged.  "Sorry.  So what does this have to do with us?"Tom set q down on the bed next to Naomi.  "Sam had a partner, Al, who remained in his own time but appeared to Sam as a hologram to help him out.  They were connected by their brain wave patterns so only Sam could see Al and only Al could see Sam as Sam.  Except for animals and children.  They saw the real Sam,"  Tom finished triumphantly.B'Elanna's engineering eyes narrowed intently on Naomi's head, as though trying to examine the young girl's brain.  "You're saying Naomi can see us because of her brain wave patterns?""That and maybe because of her innocence.  Children see the world differently than adults.  I don't remember all the details.  Actually I mostly remember an episode where some rich kid with an overbearing father gets blamed for his girlfriend's murder.  I guess it stood out because the father and son reminded me of me and my dad."  Although Tom made this last remark matter-of-factly, B'Elanna knew there were still many unresolved feelings when it came to Tom's relationship with his father.  She placed her hand on his shoulder and he gave her a small smile.B'Elanna sighed, "Well, that sounds like as good an explanation as any right now.  Just so long as she can help us.""Agreed.  And now that we have the element of surprise on our side I have an idea."  Tom turned to Naomi.  "Naomi Wildman, I'm granting you a temporary field commission of Acting Ensign."The child beamed.  "Yes, sir.""Okay, then."  Tom's gaze traveled over his companions.  "Let's start by finding Neelix.""Neelix?" B'Elanna asked with surprise.Tom nodded.  "Everyone's at their duty stations so Neelix is most likely in the mess hall.  He can help us without attracting any attention from the bridge.  Ensign Naomi will serve as 'interpreter' and we'll have Neelix carry out anything that needs to be done in the other dimension.  Unless, of course, you have a better idea?"  Tom's offer was accompanied by a challenging look.B'Elanna snorted.  "No, Lieutenant, your plan sounds just fine to me."  She swept her arm out in front of them, "Lead the way."Chuckling, Tom turned to q, and missed the last part of B'Elanna's response -- a dryly muttered, "Captain Proton.""q, can you send us to the mess hall?"A bright flash of light later and the 'away team' found themselves in the mess hall, directly in front of Neelix.  Startled by the sudden appearance of Naomi Wildman in his path, Neelix yelped and dropped the plate of cookies he had been carrying from the kitchen."Oh, my!" Neelix's hand fluttered against his chest as he tried to slow his heartbeat and catch his breath.  "Now, where did you come from, dear?  I didn't even hear you come in.""I'm sorry, Neelix," Naomi helped him pick up the cookies, or what was left of them, as she apologized.  "q brought us here.""Us?" Neelix looked around, puzzled."Tom and B'Elanna are here, too.  Tom made me Acting Ensign and you're my first 'signment!" Naomi announced proudly."Tom and B'Elanna are here?  Where?" He whirled around, trying to find the missing officers."Oh, you can't see them.  Only *I* can see them," Naomi proclaimed.Neelix knelt down until he was eye level with Naomi and gently replied, "I know you want to find Tom and B'Elanna, sweetie.  We all do.  But this isn't the time to play pretend games.""But I'm not pretending!" she exclaimed indignantly.  She looked up at Tom helplessly.He smiled reassuringly.  "Don't worry, Ensign.  Just tell Neelix . . . "* * * * * * Kathryn Janeway glared at Q2 and silently reflected on life: life BEFORE the Q Continuum . . . and life AFTER the Q Continuum had entered her already complicated life.  She rubbed her temples wearily.  She could really use one of the doctor's massages right now.  The only bright spot to this whole debacle was knowing that B'Elanna, Tom and q were out there -- somewhere -- and were unharmed.  So far.  *How are we going to get out of this one?* she wondered dismally.Ignoring the animosity resonating around him, Q2 nonchalantly sat down next to Kathryn, puffing contentedly on a cigar.  Disgusted, Kathryn's gaze traversed the bridge.  She could see that Chakotay, Tuvok, and Harry all shared her frustration and momentary sense of helplessness.Kathryn gave herself a mental shake.  They had experienced worse than this and had managed to come out on top.  She wasn't about to let the malevolent alien destroy her crew now.  She contemplated ways to thwart his plan, but without the ability to discuss options with her officers, it would be nearly impossible to implement anything.  And she very much doubted that Q2 would allow her senior staff to adjourn to the conference room for a meeting.So the captain determined the best measure of defense, for the moment anyway, was to keep the unwelcome visitor's attention engaged until either inspiration struck or the Q's showed up.  With any luck the adversaries would then take their battle back to the Continuum, where they belonged.Turning to the object of her thoughts, she inquired innocently, "I'm curious, Q.  Have you given any thought to how the Continuum will react when they discover what you've done to q?"* * * * * * Neelix enthusiastically clapped his hands together.  "Let's do it!" he exclaimed.B'Elanna looked somewhat skeptical, but Tom chuckled and reassured her, "Don't worry, B'Elanna.  It will work, trust me.""Where have I heard that before?" she muttered, but nodded her acquiescence."All right then.  q, it's time we returned to Engineering.  Lead the way, my good man!"Naomi was prepared for the transport, but since Neelix couldn't hear Tom, he was a little startled to suddenly find himself in Engineering without warning.  But not as startled as Joe Carey.  The lieutenant cried out in surprise when the Talaxian and young girl made their sudden appearance in his path.  He stumbled as he tried to avoid colliding with Neelix."Oops, sorry Joe," Neelix contritely apologized as he grabbed the engineer's shoulders to steady him."What . . .where . .  how . . . ?" Joe sputtered."Well, it's a rather long story and I don't really have time to go into all the details right now."  He bustled towards the main engineering station.  "Suffice to say that we're with B'Elanna, Tom, and q and we're on a very important mission."Dumbfounded, Carey watched  Neelix access the controls and was even more astounded when little Naomi rattled off B'Elanna's access codes, which Neelix promptly entered.  When Joe made a move to hit his combadge, everyone in the panic-stricken group shouted 'No!'  Of course, he could only hear Naomi and Neelix, who had the forethought (and reflexes) to grab Joe's arm before he activated the combadge."You can't contact the bridge, Joe!"  Neelix looked at the engineering crew that had gathered and implored them, "They can't know what's going on.  If they find out what we're up to, then Q2 will know and we'll lose our chance."A valuable asset to any good Starfleet officer was the ability to recognize and assess a critical situation in a split second.  Joe Carey had always been an excellent student and now silently nodded and waved his crew back.  "What can I do to help?"* * * * * * Chakotay was finding it hard to contain his restlessness and increasing concern.  After listening for nearly twenty minutes to Q2 pontificate about his role in the destiny of the Continuum, Chakotay was convinced that the alien was truly demented.  And all this time he had thought that Q was a menace!He realized the captain was allowing the loquacious alien to carry on in an attempt to keep him distracted and to buy the crew some time.  She even somehow managed to follow the alien's illogical thinking and ask some fitting questions to keep him going.  Chakotay marveled once again at his captain's ingenuity.  Instead of contradicting the alien and inciting him further, she was feeding into his phantasm.  He watched as they stood facing the viewscreen, Q2 waving his arm at the expanse of space before them, boasting of the Continuum's future advancements under his guidance.Chakotay's attention was suddenly pulled to the flashing lights on his console.  He looked quickly to Harry for confirmation and received a subtle nod from the ensign.  His eyes darted to the captain and alien in front of him, and he was relieved to see that the alien, so caught up in his own discourse, had not noticed the activity.  It was not unusual to see activity from Engineering.  What WAS unexpected, however, was that the access codes being used were B'Elanna's.  Chakotay unconsciously held his breath in anticipation.He didn't have long to wait.  Janeway soon stepped away from Q2 and the moment she did a forcefield appeared around Q2.  The decibel level of this forcefield was louder than any Starfleet forcefield they had heard before, and the entire bridge crew winced at the assault.  It was bearable, however, and after a momentary hesitation of surprise, Janeway turned to Tuvok questioningly.  The security officer raised an eyebrow and announced, "Engineering has apparently discovered a method of detaining our unwelcome visitor."Q2 cackled evily, "Do you really think your puny Starfleet technology can contain a Q?  And here I thought you were at least somewhat more intelligent than that."  Q2 stepped forward nonchalantly and everyone on the bridge, save Tuvok, held their breaths anxiously.As soon as Q2 came into contact with the forcefield, the decibel level rose to a crescendo dramatically.  The loud, high pitched whining sound was accompanied by a sizzling noise and a burning smell soon emanated from the mini-prison.  Q2 cried out in alarm and jumped back.At that moment the bridge was hailed and the crew was surprised to hear Neelix's voice, "Is everything okay up there?"With a smile, Kathryn responded, "Everything seems to be under control for the moment.  Do you mind telling me what's going on down there?""Uh, well, it's a long story, Captain.  Maybe it would be best if the senior staff met to discuss it?" Neelix inquired hesitantly.  They didn't want Q2 to overhear what they had done, just in case he had a way to undo it.Chakotay interjected, "Are Tom and B'Elanna with you?"  Startled, Janeway looked at him, unaware that B'Elanna's access codes had been used."Um, you could say that.  In a way.  Well, yes and no, really," Neelix stammered.Puzzled at the cryptic answer, Janeway shrugged and announced, "Fine, we'll meet in the conference room."  She turned to Chakotay, "Notify the doctor and Seven of Nine."While Chakotay contacted the others, Tuvok also hit his combadge and announced, "Ensigns Hudson and Simms report to the Bridge."The security officers arrived first and received their orders.  "Gentlemen," the captain began, "please keep a close eye on our *guest* and his *accomodations.*  If you notice any change in the forcefield, notify us right away.""Aye, Captain," came the unanimous response.Janeway, Chakotay, Harry and Tuvok entered the conference room and waited for the others to arrive.  The doctor and Seven soon arrived together."My, that's an interesting contraption out there," the doctor cracked upon entering.  "Perhaps I should prescribe earplugs for the bridge crew so I won't have to treat hearing disorders when this little fiasco is over."Janeway gave him *The Look* to which he merely responded airily, "I'm only concerned with the welfare of the crew, of course."Fortunately for the doctor, the rest of the senior staff arrived then, pulling the captain's attention to Neelix and his companion.  She looked at Neelix sternly, "Neelix, this is not the time to be baby-sitting.  Naomi doesn't belong here.""Oh, but she does, Captain.  Please let me explain."Once everyone had been seated, Kathryn nodded to Neelix expectantly.  All eyes on Neelix, he leaned forward excitedly and quickly recounted Tom and B'Elanna's activities since their disappearance.  When he reached the part where the invisible trio appeared in Naomi's quarters and it was discovered that she could see and hear them, the startled captain raised her hand to halt his narrative.Everyone's gaze now shifted to Naomi.  A tone of wonderment laced Captain Janeway's voice as she addressed Naomi, "You can see and hear them just like you can see and hear us?"Naomi bobbed her head enthusiastically.  "Uh, huh."Neelix explained Tom's theory on why Naomi could see them."This theory is based on a 20th century television program?" Chakotay asked disbelievingly.  Neelix nodded.The doctor mused thoughtfully, "It is conceivable.  A child's brain is open to more stimuli than the adult brain.  It hasn't been cluttered up with a lot of useless information yet.  Perhaps if I make adjustments to my equipment based on Miss Wildman's brain wave patterns, we could detect them as well.""Maybe, but it will have to wait, Doctor.  We don't know how much time we have before Q2 finds a way out of that forcefield, so right now we need Naomi to help us communicate with Tom and B'Elanna," the captain replied.  She turned to the young girl.  "Can you still see them?  So you know where they are?""Sure -- q is sitting on Tom's shoulders right behind me and B'Elanna's standing right behind Neelix."The senior staff stared intently at the empty space, but to no avail.  Even Seven with her Borg enhanced implants couldn't detect the missing trio.Tom waved cheerfully at everyone which prompted B'Elanna to punch him in the arm with an exasperated snort.  Naomi and q started giggling.  At Tom's indignant "Ow!" Naomi burst out laughing while q clapped his hands appreciatively.Captain Janeway, who couldn't help but smile at the girl's outburst, asked with dry humor, "What did Tom do now?"  Harry and Chakotay both grinned.  Tuvok merely raised an eyebrow.  At Naomi's explanation, Harry and Chakotay's grins grew wider while Tuvok and Seven shared a resigned look.Neelix, impatient to move on with the story, cleared his throat and proceeded to pick up where he'd left off.* * * * * * "And then B'Elanna remembered something!"  Neelix announced dramatically.*Finally!* Janeway thought with barely concealed relief.  The Talaxian had finally reached the point in his narrative the captain and her staff had been waiting for.  Neelix' verbose nature had led to a very detailed -- and time consuming -- accounting of the past few hours.  And although they were very interested in the activities of the *missing* trio, not knowing how long the forcefield would last was making everyone, save Neelix, more than a little nervous and impatient.  Kathryn made a mental note to have Chakotay speak to Neelix later about learning to file a report, verbal or written, in a more succinct fashion.B'Elanna was just as impatient as the captain, pacing behind Neelix and muttering in Klingon under her breath.  Tom couldn't make out what she was saying, which was probably just as well.  Finally, she stopped short and, with a growl, shook her fists in frustration at the Talaxian.Fortunately, the morale officer finally seemed to sense the urgency of the situation.  With a nervous glance behind him, he proceeded with his report quickly.  Tom idly wondered if the Talaxian had really sensed B'Elanna's frustration -- it HAD been pretty palpable.  More likely, though, it had probably occurred to him that his report had been pretty loquacious and, knowing B'Elanna as well as he did, could predict her reaction.  Tom bit back a smile and turned his attention to what Neelix was saying.". . . adjustments the female Q had made to enhance our systems when the Continuum was at war and we had to enter their space -- and somehow stay in one piece at the same time," Neelix continued.  "B'Elanna gave instructions to Naomi, who then relayed them to Joe, uh, Lieutenant Carey, and after some trial and error we found we had the right settings to create the forcefield!" he finished triumphantly.Kathryn rose from her seat.  "I must say I'm very impressed with what you've all been able to accomplish, especially you, Naomi.  Good work."  She smiled at the girl and patted her on the head."Even though I didn't really know what I was saying?  There were lots of big words," Naomi announced earnestly, not wanting to take the credit for something she didn't really understand."That's okay, Naomi," Harry offered with a chuckle.  "That techo-babble confuses even us grown-ups sometimes.  Well, except maybe for Tuvok . . . and Seven, of course," he added hastily upon seeing her raised eyebrow.Smiling, Kathryn returned to her seat.  Her mood soon became serious as she dryly noted, "Fortunately for us, Q2 was so involved in his self-congratulations that he was completely oblivious to any activity outside of the bridge."Chakotay nodded.  "As soon as I saw the activity on my monitor I muted the sound -- and held my breath.""I thought for sure he knew what was going on," Harry added.  He looked at the empty space behind Neelix and Naomi.  "Your timing is impeccable, B'Elanna.  A few minutes either way and Q2 might have noticed what was going on.""It was unlikely that Q2 would consider any action on our part to be a threat.  His self-absorption and propensity for underestimating humanoids is typical of the Q's egocentric mindset," Tuvok observed dryly."Why, Tuvok!  I do believe I should take offense at that!" Q's mocking voice filled the room.  An instant later Q himself appeared before them, dressed casually in shorts, a bright Hawaiian shirt, sandals and a straw hat.  "What kind of a mess have you bipedals gotten yourselves into this time?  And where is my little pride and joy?"  He snapped his fingers and q suddenly appeared in his arms, while Tom and B'Elanna found themselves sitting in their customary chairs around the table."B'Elanna!""Tom!""I take it we're back among the living, so to speak?" Tom commented wryly.q squealed and hugged his father.  "Well, at least you did a passable job of baby-sitting the little tyke," grumbled Q.Then he brightened.  "And now we really must be going.  Say good-bye, q!""Bye-bye!" shrieked Q.  There was a flash and the duo disappeared."Q!" shouted Janeway.  "Wait!  Q!"But to no avail.  The omnipotent beings were gone.* * * * * * The captain watched as Commander Siria stood silently, staring out at the stars of the Delta Quadrant through Janeway's ready room windows.  There was sorrow in the woman's expression that showed no matter how hard she tried to mask her emotions.  But there was also pride.Siria turned slowly and faced the captain, standing tall despite her diminutive stature.  "Captain Kathryn Janeway of the starship Voyager: on behalf of my crew, I accept your offer."Kathryn smiled and put down her teacup.  It had been nearly three weeks since Q had departed Voyager with his son.  Q2 has been transported, forcefield and all, into a cargo hold where he was being watched around the clock.  Captain Janeway had overheard Ensign Hudson complaining that he didn't know which was worse, the annoying squeal of the forcefield or Q2's loud and incessant diatribe about the horrors that would soon befall Voyager and everyone on it if they didn't let him out.  He had threatened everything from plague to an eternity of leola root casserole.In the meantime, the captain had grown to respect the Romulan commander.  Siria was intelligent and tough.  And from her visits on the Romii, Janeway had observed that Siria's crew were efficient and almost fanatically loyal.  But the Romii was only a scout ship.  Although fast and maneuverable, alone it simply did not have the weapons to survive the Delta Quadrant's many dangers.  Janeway had proposed, over tea, that the two ships travel together.  Now she stood and joined Siria at the window.  "It's not so bad, really.""How do you stand it?" Siria asked.  "I have never felt so alone in my life.""I feel that way too sometimes," replied the captain.  "Not too long ago I felt so guilty, depressed, and lonely.  Overwhelmed, really . . . ," she trailed off.  "Many nights I go to bed thinking, 'How are we ever going to do this?  Will we ever make it?  What if I make a mistake?  What if, what if, what if?  The truth is, I don't know that we WILL make it."When I find myself feeling like that I take a long walk around the ship.  I watch the crew and I see that we are more than just a ship's compliment, we're a family.  We depend on each other.  Although sometimes we falter, we all have hope that this will pass and our lives will get better."  She turned once again to the streaking starfield.  "As long as I can see the stars, I will not feel hopeless."  She hesitated, then continued, "It takes guts, though."Siria responded loftily, "I would not have it said that a human outdid a Romulan when it came to 'guts.'"Janeway smiled and turned from the window, then sobered.  "Tell me more about the war.""We're losing," Siria replied simply."On second thought, don't tell me.  Tell me more about this baseball game on Deep Space Nine.""The Vulcans were humiliated.  Although they outscored the Niners -- "She was interrupted by the com signal.  "Captain to the bridge.""What is it, Chakotay?""Company, Captain."Janeway frowned at Chakotay's tone.  He didn't sound happy, not happy at all.  She indicated to Siria to follow her, and strode purposefully onto the bridge.  Her eyes narrowed at the sight before her."Q." She acknowledged the alien's presence accusingly.  She spared a glance towards his partner, the female Q, her disapproval obvious.  At least they had left q at home this time.The Romulan commander was not inclined to be so courteous.  Shouting Romulan expletives, she lunged towards the aliens, arms reaching for Q's throat.  Both Chakotay and Kathryn quickly stepped forward to block her path, before the Q's could do her any harm.  Chakotay caught hold of her by the waist and swore softly as the woman struggled against his grasp.  He was going to be black and blue in the morning."Stop!" Kathryn ordered the Romulan impatiently.  "This is not going to accomplish anything."  A disgruntled Siria quit fighting Chakotay, but continued to stare daggers at Q."My, my," commented Q sarcastically, "such a warm welcome!  And here I thought you'd be HAPPY to see us, since we're here to take Q off your hands.""Uh, huh," was all Kathryn said as she slowly and deliberately walked towards her chair.  As she moved her glance touched on the senior officers on the bridge: Tom, B'Elanna, Harry, Tuvok and finally Chakotay, all looking as alert and suspicious as she felt.  She nodded towards Chakotay, who then escorted Siria to the seat next to Janeway's and indicated she sit down.  "So," Kathryn drawled nonchalantly as she took her seat, "why now?  Why didn't you take him with you three weeks ago?"Q shook his head in mock disappointment at her apparent inability to grasp the enormity of the situation.  "My dear Kathy, if we had taken him then, what would we have done with him?  The Continuum had to discuss his fate and since he was already safely under wraps here on Voyager, there was no reason to move him until a decision had been made."Chakotay interjected dryly, "And apparently, a decision has been reached?"The female Q looked down her nose at him and sniffed, "This was not a matter the Continuum took lightly!  Not that your small human minds could *possibly* comprehend the seriousness of the situation."Kathryn waved her hand impatiently.  "Oh, we *comprehend* just fine, thank you.  We comprehend that the Continuum is so self-absorbed that they think nothing of transplanting an innocent ship and crew for their own purposes and then abandoning them.""Innocent?" Q returned mockingly.  "Has being in the Delta Quadrant really affected your sensibilities that much?"The captain slowly crossed her arms as she gave him her no-nonsense look.  "You know what I mean."Unabashed, Q sighed heavily and acknowledged, "Yes, well, I *suppose* we should make right what once went wrong . . . "Tom, who had been monitoring the helm controls, spun his chair around at that remark.  *Why does that sound familiar?* he wondered.  He was even more puzzled when Q winked at him."Oh, all right, already, Q," the female Q muttered querulously.  "Can we get on with this so we can get home to our son?"Q smiled broadly at the mention of his son and placed his arm around his wife.  "Whatever you say, dear."  He turned to Commander Siria and chirped brightly, "Pack your bags, Commander.  Your ship's about to set sail."Kathryn rolled her eyes, but stood along with Siria as they prepared to say their good-byes."Wait!"  The sudden shout from Harry caused everyone to freeze and stare at the ensign expectantly.  Embarrassed by his tactless and unprofessional outburst, Harry felt the heat suffuse his face, but he resolutely continued, "I'm sorry, Captain.  It's just that I thought that we could . . . I mean, maybe before Q sends the Romulans back . . . since the Hirogen relay stations were destroyed . . . well, maybe they could take back messages to our families and Starfleet," he finished hopefully.* * * * * * Tom sighed -- again.   B'Elanna's worried gaze settled on the troubled pilot, who was frowning intently at the datapadd in front of him.  She stood and softly approached him, gently laying a hand on his shoulder.  Tom was so absorbed in the letter to his father that he jumped, startled, at B'Elanna's touch.To everyone's surprise, Q had graciously agreed to Harry's suggestion and delayed the Romulans' return to the Alpha Quadrant.  "After all," Q had offered chivalrously, "you did play a role in the Continuum's evolution.  Think of this as a small token of our appreciation."  He gave the crew three hours to prepare their letters home and Captain Janeway had allotted everyone one hour of off-duty time to do so."Sorry," B'Elanna now offered contritely.  "You keep sighing and I was getting worried about you."Tom blushed slightly, his clouded eyes expressing a vulnerability she found endearing.  She knew this was difficult for him.Shaking his head in frustration, he stood and ruefully acknowledged, "I just don't know what to say to him.  If only I knew what was in the message he sent a few months ago!  It would make this a whole lot easier."B'Elanna felt a tug of guilt.  She had been the one downloading messages from the Hirogen array when the transmission was lost -- and Tom's message from his father along with it.  Although her engineering mind told her there was nothing else she could have done, she still somehow felt responsible for Tom not getting the message from his father.Now she simply wrapped her arms around the pilot and embraced him in a warm hug, silently offering her support.  Tom closed his eyes and held B'Elanna tightly, thanking the powers that be for bringing her into his life.  He didn't know why he was so fortunate -- why he'd been given a second chance aboard Voyager and had been allowed to find friendship, respect, and even love after the mess he had made of his life before Captain Janeway had come to him in that New Zealand prison, seeking his help.  But he HAD been given a second chance, and although he couldn't know the message his father had sent him, he had to believe that his father would also be willing to give him a second chance.  B'Elanna's love and support gave him the confidence to believe it.He reluctantly pulled himself away from B'Elanna, keeping his hands on her shoulders, unable to completely break contact just yet.  She searched his eyes questioningly and was reassured by the beautiful clear, blue eyes that returned her gaze, along with the winsome smile he now wore.  She returned his smile with one of her own and he bent down to kiss her lightly.It was a sweet but brief kiss.  Tom let go of B'Elanna and turned back towards the desk with his datapadd.  "Since we don't have much time left, I'd better finish this up.  How are your letters coming along?"B'Elanna shrugged, "I'm almost finished.  I just want to finish this one up to another Maquis friend who's in prison now."  Tom looked at her sharply, concerned that the anger and guilt she had once felt about the fate of the Alpha Quadrant Maquis still gnawed at her.  She shook her head at his silent question and placed her hand on his chest.  "Don't worry, Tom.  I'm fine.  As a matter of fact, I'm glad I have the opportunity to send them a message."Tom nodded his acknowledgment but continued to eye her warily while they finished writing their letters.The letters completed, they returned to the bridge to find the Q's waiting and Commander Siria on the viewscreen, awaiting transmission of the messages.  With a nod from Captain Janeway, Harry initiated the data transfer.Kathryn had turned to Q to thank him once again, but before she had the chance to speak a bright flash of light filled the bridge.  'Not again,' she silently moaned with dread.  But, fortunately, this time the flash revealed q, who immediately shrieked with delight and ran to Tom.  Although caught by surprise, Tom's quick reflexes allowed him to instinctively reach out and grab the little boy (rather than be bowled over in his chair) and pull him into his lap.The female Q, hands on hips, sternly admonished her son, "q!  Didn't we tell you to stay on your planet?""Planet?  What ever happened to sending a kid to his room?"  The rhetorical question was muttered dryly by Tom, but everyone on the bridge was thinking the same thing."I was bored!" q pouted.Tom smiled mischievously at the boy.  "A whole planet to play on and you were bored?  Does that mean that Voyager is more fun than some old planet?"q bobbed his head up and down enthusiastically.  "Can you come play with me on my planet?  Maybe then it'll be more fun.""Sorry, buddy, but I belong here on Voyager.  But maybe you can come visit us again sometime, okay?"q considered the prospect gravely for a moment before nodding his agreement.  "Where are you going?" he asked innocently.Captain Janeway stepped forward then.  "We're on our way home, q.  And you should probably be going home with your parents now, too.""Indeed," the female Q concurred in her superior tone.  "And when we get home, young man, we're going to have a little talk -- you know better than to leave your planet without asking.""Oh, come now, dear.  There's no harm done," Q wheedled his significant other.  "Boys will be boys, you know!  Why, when I young -- "The female Q rested a baleful glance on him.  "Exactly, Q.  And now look at you -- if it weren't for me, q would have no discipline whatsoever."  Q started to sputter a reply but decided the bridge of Voyager wasn't the appropriate setting for this conversation.  So he sighed resignedly and Harry took advantage of the reprieve to announce that the transmission was complete.Clearly relieved at the change in subject, Q addressed Commander Siria, "Time for you to go home, Commander.""Good-bye, Commander, and thank you again," Kathryn smiled warmly.Siria nodded, "Good luck, Captain Janeway.  I hope to hear of your return to the Alpha Quadrant soon."Q snapped his fingers and the Romulans disappeared, leaving only the stars on the viewscreen.q clapped his hands gleefully.  "Are you going to send Voyager home now, too, Daddy?"Everyone on the bridge held their breath, even the captain, although she did not really expect Q to whisk Voyager back to the Alpha Quadrant like he had done with the Romulan ship."No, my little man," said Q wistfully.  "We're only back here at all because of you, you know." He beamed with pride.  "You and your wonderfully advanced idea about cleaning up your own messes."  He hoisted his son into his arms.  "The Q Continuum didn't bring Voyager here.  It's not our responsibility."  Q leaned toward the captain.  "Responsibility.  What a concept.  He gets his talent for creative thinking, of course, from MY side of the family."The female Q snorted and rolled her eyes.  "That and his hair.  Or lack thereof.  Oh, hurry up, Q.  We have other matters to attend to.  Like this, for instance."  There was another flash and the Victorian dollhouse appeared again on the bridge.q squealed with delight and clambered out of his father's arms.  "Mine!" he shouted, as he lay down to look into the windows.  "Ooooooo, look.  They're asleep!  Wake up, Parith!  Let's play!"Tom jumped up and B'Elanna vaulted over the rail that separated the engineering station from the command center.  "I was wondering what happened to them," she said.  "Get rid of them.  Right now.""NO!" shouted Tom.  "B'Elanna, I can't believe you'd say that!  They're us!""They're NOT us, Tom," she snapped.  "They're . . . they're . . . I don't know WHAT they are.""They're US, I tell you.  Just listen to them."Sure enough, sounds of squabbling were emanating from the dollhouse.  "Who said you could snuggle up to me like that?" shouted Tiny Tom."This house is not big enough for the both of us, Hotshot," retorted Mini B'Elanna."Then why are you glued to me like a Cekinian clam?!" returned Tiny Tom."I was cold!""See?" asked Tom.  (The big one).The female Q knelt down beside q.  "Remember what Mama said?"q sighed.  "Yeth, Mama.  No playing 'Starfleet' till I'm older."She straightened and Janeway thought she almost looked embarrassed, if that were possible for a Q.  "Actually, this is not the first time something like this has happened.  We can, um, put them in a special little universe we created just for, uh, 'toys' like this.  Kirk and the Enterprise crew are there.  Kang is too, so the little Klingon can play on whichever side she wants."  The dollhouse disappeared."We'll be taking Q2 with us now as well.""What will happen to him?" asked the captain."Oh, about a hundred years as the scarecrow, I think," said Q.  "Are you ready my lovely ball and chain?  Good-bye, my dearest Kathy, and  . . . " he faltered.q ran to B'Elanna and Tom and hugged them about the knees.  "Thank you!"  They all disappeared.There was a sudden silence on the bridge.  Another disappointment -- there would be no getting home today.  Kathryn surveyed her crew and decided the moment needed lightening.  "My.  People come and go so QUICKLY around here!" she quipped."Well," said Chakotay, smiling, "you're not in Indiana anymore."She sat down in her command chair.  "Mr. Paris, there's no place like the Alpha Quadrant.  Ahead, warp factor seven.""Yes, Ma'am."FinisThe Star Trek: Voyager premise and its characters belong to Paramount Studios, a Viacom company.  No infringement on Paramount's or Viacom's rights is intended.  Please keep this disclaimer attached to the file.  This round robin story was written by fans for fans for fun.  We hope you enjoy it!Other stories in our "canon" series:Cracks in the WallClear as MudTest of FaithFlight of MemoryInheritanceWhither Are They Vanished?The Judgment of KarisWith Murderous IntentKathryn Janeway's Flying CircusOther stories by the AOL P/T Collective (our "non-canon" series)Mind GamesPoisedWomen Warriors at the River of BloodEcho of a NightmarePlasma Chills