Disclaimer:  Star Trek and its characters belong to 
Viacom/Paramount.  I am borrowing them for fun only, 
not profit.

Synopsis:  Neelix needs a small contribution to his 
weekly gazette.  P/T.  Rated PG13 for sexual 
situations and innuendo.

Note:  This short story is dedicated to PJs, and to 
all the other Collectives/Feverites who share her 
particular...obsession.  You know who you are ;-)

*********************************
"One Little Question"
by Julie Evans (Juli17@aol.com)
*********************************

"You want to know WHAT?"

"Specifically, what part of Tom do you find most 
sexy?"

B'Elanna stared at Neelix, who had simply repeated his 
question in the same animated tone, unfazed by the 
incredulous, forbidding tone in her voice.  She 
glanced around the Mess Hall, glad that the handful of 
others present were seated several tables away.  None 
were looking their way.  Then she leaned closer to 
Neelix.  "That's not really anyone's business..."

"But as I explained, I'm starting the new Relationship 
Corner in my Between Decks Gazette and I need 
contributions-"

"I don't really want to contribute, Neelix."  
B'Elanna's tone was firm.  "And I think you should 
keep the Gazette confined to the stories and columns 
you've been doing."

"Oh, I'm not getting rid of those,"  Neelix said.  
"After all, everyone loves the stories, especially 
Michael Ayala's detective serial and Sam Wildman's 
poetry, and the Dear Confidante and How To columns, 
though I can't say that the Doctor's last How To 
contribution on identifying parts of the humanoid 
brain from preserved brain slices was very popular, 
though he did include some nice sketches-"

"Neelix."  B'Elanna gave the Talaxian an impatient 
look.  He'd appealed to her before to make a 
contribution, and maybe she should participate.  But 
she certainly wasn't about to write a letter to Dear 
Confidante, and this new column Neelix had now come up 
with....  "Fine.  I'll contribute to the Gazette.  I 
know I'm past due.  I'm sure I can come up with 
something for the How To column."

"Of course,"  Neelix agreed brightly.  "I'm sure there 
are many things you can share.  Perhaps from Klingon 
culture,"  Neelix mused, looking down at the PADD in 
his hand, and not noticing the dark look B'Elanna shot 
him.  "But this month's How To column has already been 
written by Susan Nicoletti."

"Okay, maybe next month then,"  B'Elanna said, 
pressing her hands against the table in preparation 
for making her escape.

"But you haven't answered my question!"

"Neelix, I'm not sure this new column of yours is such 
a good idea-"

"Commander Chakotay thought it was a great idea."

B'Elanna stared at Neelix, nonplused for the second 
time in as many minutes.  She dropped back into her 
seat.  "Chakotay thinks there should be a 
"relationship corner" in your Gazette?"

Neelix nodded at her skeptical question.  "He thought 
it was a fine idea.  After all, everyone loves gossip, 
and we all know how it runs rampant through the ship.  
As the Commander said, we are pretty confined here, 
and the love life of others is by nature an endless 
source of fascination among virtually all humanoid 
races.  Well, perhaps not the Vulcans,"  Neelix 
amended.  Then he gave B'Elanna a conspiratorial look.  
"Though I suspect Mr. Tuvok and young Mr. Vorik will 
read it anyway."

"Did Chakotay contribute something to your new 
column?"

Neelix nodded again.  "Of course, the Commander's not 
exactly involved in an ongoing romantic relationship 
right now-"

B'Elanna raised an eyebrow at that, and uttered a 
small "hmmph".

"So I asked him something of a more general nature, 
about romantic compatibility.  Kind of the inaugural 
question for the new column." 

"What was the question?"

Neelix shook his head and responded cheerfully,  "Now 
if I tell you everything that's in the upcoming issue, 
what will you have left to read?  You'll just have to 
wait for that, and for the everyone else's answer to 
the question I just asked you."

B'Elanna gave Neelix an astonished look.  "You asked 
other people what they find sexy about Tom?""

Neelix chortled, then stopped when B'Elanna speared 
him with a sharp glare.  "Oh, B'Elanna,"  He couldn't 
contain one more chuckle, though he tried to make it 
sound like he was clearing his throat.  "Uh hum.  I 
asked the each of the participants about the person 
they're currently involved with.  In your case that 
would be Tom." 

"I see."  B'Elanna's glare only fractionally subsided 
as she held Neelix's mirthful gaze.

Neelix barely noticed.  "Actually I had to go with my 
second choice, since my first question was "what is 
your favorite sexual position and why-"

"Neelix!"

"And that was exactly the response I got!"  Neelix 
shook his head, as if he still found that reaction 
perplexing.   "I forget that most Federation species 
are more reserved about sex than we Talaxians.  We 
would see sharing such information as a simple offer 
of knowledge that might be helpful to others."

"I'm sure that's very enlightened, Neelix,"  B'Elanna 
muttered.  And maybe it was, but she wasn't fond of 
envisioning a bunch of Talaxians conversing about the 
merits of various sexual positions with the same 
animated enthusiasm with which Neelix compared leola 
root recipes.  

"Commander Chakotay also reminded me that Starfleet 
Terms of Service does place certain restrictions on 
extremely explicit material being disseminated 
electronically on starships, unless it is under a 
personal privacy code not for general public access.  
So I used this follow up question and it has gone 
quite well.  Tom was the last person I asked-"

"You've asked Tom this question?"

"Yes, I caught him during his lunch break earlier."  
Neelix leaned forward and lowered his voice.  "He 
actually said there were so many things about you he 
found sexy that he would have to get back to me in a 
few hours to narrow it down to one answer."

"Really?"  B'Elanna was pretty sure Neelix was 
delivering this piece of information to convince her 
to participate, but she couldn't help feeling 
flattered by Tom's remark.  She still wasn't crazy 
about this though.  Maybe the question was innocuous 
enough, and meant in good humor, but sometimes the 
circumstances on Voyager precluded taking anything too 
lightly...  "Does the captain know about this?"

"Of course, but truthfully she didn't express much 
opinion on it, and she declined my offer to be the 
inaugural contributor, which is why I went to 
Commander Chakotay."  Neelix shrugged.  "But since the 
Gazette isn't an official ship newsletter and is 
designated to be read by the crew in their personal 
time, the captain's position is that the content is 
dictated by the interest of the readers.  And I think 
the captain understands that the crew has been put in 
the position of living out a significant portion of 
their lives on Voyager.  At least until Starfleet 
really does find a way to get us back to the Alpha 
Quadrant, or we find one ourselves."

That was something B'Elanna had no intention of giving 
up on, but Neelix continued before she could speak,  
"The captain knows the crew can't be expected to be 
Starfleet officers twenty four hours a day, every day, 
for years on end.  The crew needs the opportunity to 
pursue their personal lives also, and that's part of 
my job as morale officer."  Neelix's chest puffed 
slightly.  "And we need some lightheartedness, some 
fun, to keep our lives from being so Starfleet serious 
all the time."

"I see your point, Neelix,"  B'Elanna admitted.  She 
did, even if he expressed it in his usual long, 
annoyingly cheerful fashion.  She doubted the captain 
could come up with much argument against it either.  
She sighed.  "So, everyone else has answered  your 
question?"

Neelix nodded enthusiastically, sensing B'Elanna's 
pending capitulation.  "Everyone I've asked, that is 
everyone who's involved in an ongoing relationship.  
Gerron, Megan, Susan, Roberto, Ethan, Janine-"

"All right."  If everyone else was willing to answer-- 
if Tom was willing to answer-- then maybe she was just 
being too rigid again, too Klingon.  She shuddered at 
the thought.  She sighed, decision made.  She could be 
just as easygoing as the next person.  "Fine.  I'll 
answer it."

"It is just one little question after all, and all in 
fun,"  Neelix said, smiling widely.  Then he happily 
repeated it for her.  "What part of Tom do you find 
the most sexy?"

That wasn't a little question.  What part of Tom 
*didn't* she find sexy, B'Elanna thought.  She told 
herself to focus, to think lighthearted, and to pick 
out one thing, the sexiest part of Tom...

Neelix leaned forward as B'Elanna pondered, PADD in 
hand, prepared to record every bit of her answer with 
full and complete accuracy.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^


"She actually answered that question?"

Neelix nodded, looking perplexed.  "Why wouldn't she?"

Tom shrugged.  If he felt an occasional need to guard 
his privacy, it was small compared to B'Elanna's 
general reserve in that area.  

"B'Elanna has become much more congenial with the crew 
than when she first boarded Voyager, Tom,"  Neelix 
said approvingly.  "She's not as prickly as she used 
to be.  In fact, since you two have been  together, 
she has become much more at ease in social situations.  
I think your natural conviviality has rubbed off on 
her.  Some."

Tom smiled at Neelix's qualification, knowing the 
Talaxian was fond of the Chief Engineer as much for 
the challenge of  breaking through her prickly nature 
as anything else.  And it was true.  B'Elanna had 
become more comfortable socializing with the crew, 
whether through his influence or not, he didn't know.  
In any case she'd hardly lost her sharp edge entirely, 
which he could easily attest to.  And he had no 
interest in changing B'Elanna, since he liked her just 
the way she was.  "So B'Elanna answered your 
question,"  he mused.  "What exactly did she say?"

"Oh, no, Tom."  Neelix waggled a finger at him.  "You 
have to read the Gazette to find out the answer.  
That's part of the fun of a blind survey.  And no 
cheating and asking her."

Tom shrugged.  "Fine.  I guess I can wait a day."

"Now it's your turn to answer, Tom."  Neelix leaned 
forward eagerly.  "What part of B'Elanna do you find 
the most sexy?"

That was a loaded question.  Tom couldn't think of a 
single part of B'Elanna that he didn't find incredibly 
sexy, from her softly defined brow ridges all the way 
down to her shapely feet.  There were a hundred-- a 
thousand-- answers to that question.

Tom Paris decided to play it safe.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^


Less than twenty four hours later Tom sat in the Mess 
Hall eating an early dinner and reading the latest 
edition of the Between Decks Gazette.  More 
accurately, he had skimmed most of it, passing the 
fiction and poetry sections for the moment, glancing 
only briefly at the other sections like the How To and 
Dear Confidante columns, finally skipping forward to 
the Relationship Corner.  It was hard to miss since 
the silhouette of two bodies wrapped close together, 
lips just touching, filled the screen of his dataPADD.  

He quickly bypassed Neelix's wordy intro, then read 
Chakotay's short essay on romantic compatibility and 
spirit guides.  He was amazed Chakotay had been talked 
into it, but Neelix definitely had a talent for 
persuasion.  Chakotay's answer to the question was 
typically ambiguous, but Tom could imagine how many 
couples would be rushing to the Commander's office 
wanting to know if their spirit guides were 
compatible.  He chuckled at the thought.  

He moved on to the survey question, headed by the 
promise "And now a lighthearted question for the 
romantic couples on board Voyager..."  He read through 
the various answers, amused by some, and surprised by 
the revealing, even risqué, nature of others.

"The soft skin in the hollow behind her ear just 
drives me wild."

"The look of promise in his eyes when he first spots 
me in a room."

"The way she looks in her backless black silk dress 
that hugs every curve, especially the delectable 
curves I can see when she's walking away."

"His lips.  His lower lips is so pouty, so kissable."

"Her gorgeous, endless legs."

"The way he looks when he first gets out of the 
shower, with his hair all damp and curly, and beads of 
water glistening on his skin."

He was beginning to wonder if he'd approached this 
survey a little too cautiously as he quickly read 
through the rest of the answers.  There were twenty 
two couples on Voyager, and his and B'Elanna's answers 
were listed last.

"Tom, what do you find most sexy about B'Elanna?"

"Her amazing brain.  That's the sexiest part of any 
woman, after all."

Well, it had seemed like a clever and safe answer at 
the time.  And it wasn't likely that B'Elanna was 
going to give an outrageous or revealing answer to the 
question either...

"B'Elanna, what do you find most sexy about Tom?"

"I suppose, his chest hair.  It's soft and springy 
against the solid muscles of his chest and I love to 
run my fingers through it.  When my cheek is resting 
on his chest it tickles a little, but it also feels... 
cuddly."

Tom stared openmouthed at those words displayed on his 
PADD for nerly two full minutes, his brain temporarily 
frozen.  The most coherent thought he could finally 
come up with, notwithstanding that he'd never realized 
how fond B'Elanna was of his chest hair, was to wonder 
if she'd read this yet.  Not likely, or she would have 
already found him. 

Tom rose abruptly and strode out of the Mess Hall, 
passing several other crew members on the way.  He was 
pretty sure he saw some quickly repressed grins, 
though everyone quickly looked away when he caught 
their gazes.  He knew it was a sign that he was 
probably in some serious trouble when B'Elanna did 
read the latest issue of the Gazette.  But he also 
couldn't help the small smile that played on his lips.  
It might just be worth it for this small new 
revelation he'd just read.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^


"My brain?  The part of me you find the most sexy is 
MY BRAIN?!"

"B'Elanna."  Tom backed away slightly as B'Elanna was 
pressed up right against him, and not looking too 
happy.  She'd stormed into his quarters mere seconds 
ago, sooner than he'd expected her.  She must have 
read the Gazette the second she got off shift.

"I read things like "her gorgeous legs", "the 
delectable way she looks in her slinky black dress", 
"the throaty sound of her voice when she whispers 
sweet nothings in my ear", and then "HER AMAZING 
BRAIN"!?"

B'Elanna's voice rose again at the end and Tom backed 
up further, only to be stopped by the arm of the 
couch.  "B'Elanna, I meant that in the nicest way.  I 
thought you preferred to be respected rather than 
ogled.  Not that I don't do that, too..."  his voice 
lowered suggestively, but trailed off when B'Elanna 
didn't respond.  "And I didn't want to embarrass you 
with flowery compliments or sexual innuendo..."

B'Elanna met Tom's earnest gaze.  It was hard to argue 
with that.  He respected her and her amazing brain.  
Great.  And he hadn't wanted to embarrass her.  Which, 
of course, she done very well to herself.  She cut off 
that thought.  "I know you respect me, Tom,"  B'Elanna 
said, her voice softening.  "And I know I'm not a very 
sentimental person.  But it would have been nice to 
read that you find something besides my brain sexy-"

 "B'Elanna."  Tom heard the slight edge of hurt in her 
voice, and he gave her an admonishing look.  "Are you 
serious?"  He closed a hand around her wrist and 
raised it when she didn't pull away.  "There's not 
anything about you that I don't find stunningly sexy.  
For instance, the silky way your skin feels right 
here..."  He ran his thumb lightly along the smooth 
warm underside of her wrist.  

"And the way your pulse jumps just a bit when I do 
this..."  He pressed his lips gently against the pulse 
point there.  "And the way your tongue darts out and 
moistens your upper lip when you start to get 
aroused..."  Tom's mouth curved into a small smile 
when B'Elanna unconsciously did just that.  "I find 
that incredibly sexy,"  he said, his voice a husky 
drawl.   

"Then there's the way your jaw clenches just a little 
when I do this..."  He brushed his fingers along the 
line of her jaw in a feathery caress.

"Okay, I forgive you,"  B'Elanna said, her breath 
catching as Tom's lips touched the spot on her jaw 
that his fingers had just sensitized.  "Stop."  Her 
breath hitched again as his fingers trailed lightly 
down her throat.  "No, don't stop."

Tom smiled at her flustered reply, his bright blue 
eyes meeting her dark smoky gaze.   "I'm just getting 
started, B'Elanna.  I plan to kiss every part of you 
that I find sexy, starting here..."  He kissed the top 
of her head.  "And moving down..."  He kissed the top 
edge of her gently sloping brow ridges.  "Until I work 
my way all the way down."  

Her eyes closed and her voice was a throaty whisper as 
Tom's lips trailed down her face.  "Tom..."

"This could take quite a while..."


Tom was good to his promise.  It took quite a while.  
And when he was done he found himself sprawled on his 
couch with B'Elanna settled comfortably in his arms, 
her cheek against his chest, and her fingers brushing 
against him....

"B'Elanna,"  Tom said softly.

"Hmmm..."  B'Elanna's response was a low, drowsy 
murmur.

"How come you never told me you were obsessed with my 
chest hair?"

B'Elanna's hand, that had been absently stroking Tom's 
chest, stilled, and she groaned softly.  "I can't 
believe I answered Neelix's stupid question.  I should 
have followed my first instincts-"


"B'Elanna."  Tom pressed a hand against B'Elanna's jaw 
and gently pressured her to look up at him.  "I don't 
care if-"  He paused in mid sentence and his eyes 
widened.  "B'Elanna, are you blushing?  Just because 
you're obsessed with my chest hair?"

"I'm not blushing!"  She frowned at the amused glint 
in Tom's eyes, and the smile he couldn't quite keep 
off his face.  "And I am not obsessed..."  She glared 
at his widening smile.  "I just didn't appreciate the 
looks I got in Engineering this afternoon.  I couldn't 
figure out why everyone was staring at me with 
these....absurd grins on their faces."  She growled 
out the last part.  "It was that stupid question."   
She groaned again.  "I'll never live it down."

Tom's chest vibrated with laughter as B'Elanna dropped 
her head and buried her face against his chest.  He 
stroked her hair.  "Don't worry, B'Elanna.  It'll only 
last a few days, until the next bit of gossip starts 
making the rounds, or until the new issue of the 
Gazette comes out with Neelix's next relationship 
question."

"One which I will not be answering,"  B'Elanna 
growled.  "This one has me in enough trouble..."

"Hey, I thought it was kind of revealing.  For 
instance, I never knew you found my chest hair so 
irresistible..."

B'Elanna raised her head again and her eyes narrowed 
at the grin on his face.  He was finding this whole 
thing entirely too amusing.  Her fingers curled 
against his chest.  "Do you know the real reason I'm 
so fond of your chest hair, Tom?"  She yanked gently, 
pulling the red gold hairs caught between her fingers 
taut, and was rewarded by his exaggerated wince. 

"You enjoy torturing me?" 

"Well, there are moments when you deserve it."  She 
unclenched her fist and patted his chest lightly.  

"I know, but I thought I...apologized adequately 
earlier.  Uh, more than adequately."  Tom gave her a 
smug smile.

B'Elanna squirmed a little at that.  "Yes, I suppose 
you did,"  she admitted, with a small smile in return.

"And, B'Elanna,  I really am flattered that you find 
my chest hair sexy,"  Tom said softly.  "In fact,"  he 
added slyly, "from now on you can consider my chest 
hair your chest hair.  Figuratively speaking."

B'Elanna's eyebrows rose.  "Really?"

Tom gave her a mischievous grin.  "Feel free do 
whatever you want with it, stroke it, kiss it, yank 
it, braid it-"

"Shave it off?"  

Tom's eyes widened in alarm.  "What?!"

B'Elanna smiled wickedly, then she patted his chest 
again.  "Just kidding, Tom."

"Oh."  Tom sighed with exaggerated relief.  "That's 
right, you find my chest hair to sexy to shave it 
off."  He frowned, though there was a teasing glint in 
his eyes.  "I feel a little...used that you love me 
for my chest hair.  Not for my charming personality, 
or my stunning good looks, or my own amazing brain.  
For my chest hair.  Ouch!"

B'Elanna had yanked a bit harder this time.  Then she 
smiled at him provocatively.  "You know, there are a 
few other things I find sexy about you, Tom."

"Only a few?"  he asked.  

"Quite a few."  

Tom gave her a hopeful look.  "Care to show me?"

B'Elanna nodded.  "Uh huh."  She slithered up him and 
dropped a light kiss the blond hair brushing across 
his forehead.  "From top to bottom."  She kissed his 
brow, his closed eyes, then trailed her lips down his 
cheek.  "And it could take a while."  Her lips touched 
the corner of his mouth.  "Quite a while..."


It was indeed again quite a while later when they 
curled up together in Tom's bed, with Tom's arms 
holding B'Elanna closely to him and B'Elanna's cheek 
cuddled against the soft red gold hairs on Tom chest. 
as they both fell into a deep and contented sleep.


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The end.