=/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\=Very slowly, B'Elanna opened her eyes. She was still sleepy.   There was no alarm clock ringing. It was a rare occurrence that she actually had a day off. She smiled. It was even rarer that she and the person lying in bed next to her both had a day off at the same time, and she intended to make full use of that unique occasion.   Lazily, she turned over to lay on her other side to look at him. Even though she was still half- asleep, it only took her the tiniest fraction of a second to notice that the hair of the person lying next to her was definitely not blond. Suddenly, B'Elanna was wide awake.   "Q!" she yelled as she half-jumped, half-fell out of the bed, thanking every god in the universe -- except for Q, if he was one -- that she was at least wearing *something*.   Q looked up as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on. "Hello there, Engine Girl. Good morning to you, too."=/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\=               <<title sequence>>"The Q-Equation" Niels van Eekelen Maaikeve@freemail.nl          written by: Niels van Eekelen                 June 1998          owned by: Paramount/Viacom(Actually, they only think they own Voyager. In truth, the Q-continuum has complete control over them.)this story owned by: the writer, who does it all for fun, not profit (and, of course, to appease his countless fans.)Archiving and stuff is fine, just let the writer know. Comments and criticisms are more than welcome. And, please, don't blame any of this on that poor writer -- he's controlled by the Q as well.=/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\=               The Q-Equation                 Q/Q = P/T=/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\=   "What the hell are you doing here?" B'Elanna yelled. "Where is Tom?" This time Q did look slightly surprised.   "Tom?" he spoke, "Paris? You mean Kathy's Jailbird Helmboy was supposed to be lying in this bed here? With you?" And he had a wild fit of laughter.   Just a few minutes later, Q calmed down. B'Elanna Torres didn't calm down at all.   "Oh! I *really* have to look in on this puny little ship in the Delta quadrant more often." Q giggled, and wiped the tears of laughter from his omnipotent cheeks.   "Are you about ready to tell me what you're doing here?" The chief engineer's voice would have made any sentient mortal being tremble in fear. "Else I'm going to do something we'll both regret." B'Elanna wished she could call the bridge, but her commbadge was still on her uniform, which was lying near the door, and she wouldn't let Q get out of her sight for a millisecond.   Q held up his hands defensively. "Hey, watch where you put those teeth! And" -- for this part, Q donned his saddest face -- "you really shouldn't yell at me like that. Have a little pity. The mother of my child has thrown me out of the house."   "She did what!"   "I think I just told you. Q threw me out of the Continuum, and then she closed it off. I really think I'm not *that* bad a father."   "So you can't get back in?" Why was she even listening to this? She didn't care. All she needed to know is where Tom was.   "Exactly," Q answered in mock approval, "now that wasn't too hard on your mortal mind, was it?"   "And where is Tom?" B'Elanna raged.   "Well, if he's gone, I suppose he must be in the Continuum," Q said indifferently, "though I honestly wouldn't know why Q would think he'd make a better father than me. He's only a bi-pedal corporeal mortal. I didn't even think she liked him." For a moment, all B'Elanna could do was stare at the entity sitting on her bed wide-eyed.Captain Janeway barely stopped a yawn. It wouldn't do, of course, to yawn on the bridge, but this was truly the dullest duty shift in her entire career. Maybe she should go to her ready room and read reports, so she would at least get *some* excitement.   Then her commbadge chirped. "Torres to Janeway."   "Janeway here. Is there a problem?" the captain replied as she snapped fully awake. B'Elanna's voice sounded stressed. If this was about something in Engineering, she would... Well, she didn't know what she would do, but it would make B'Elanna regret not taking the day off as she was supposed to. The woman was as much a work-a-holic as Janeway herself!   "Kathy!" said Q loudly over over commlink, "it's so good to hear your voice. I'm desperately in need of your emotional support!" All over the bridge, people groaned. Even Tuvok raised *two* eyebrows.   "Yes, captain," came B'Elanna's reply, "we have a problem."   *I noticed,* thought the captain.   "And it gets worse. Paris has disappeared. Q says he thinks his wife took Tom to the Continuum."   "No," interrupted Q calmly.   "What!"   "Not my *wife*. Q do not marry." There was an indistict and loud sound. Janeway and Chakotay looked at each other, their faces showing the unspoken question. "Well, that's no reason to hit me!" Q sounded outraged. "If I were corporeal, you could have broken my skull!"   Captain Janeway cleared her throat to get their attention. "Lieutenant, come to the Conference room. We'll discuss the situation there."   Janeway was just getting up from her chair when there was a flash of light, and she suddenly was in the conference room. In the one glance she had, she could see that her entire senior staff, save Lt Paris, was there, even the Doctor. Then she was nearly smothered in a bear hug.   "Kathy." It was Q. "It's so good to see you again. Do you want to have a baby yet? I'm going to lose my first child to Q at the divorce lawsuit, I just know it." With an effort, Janeway got loose.   "Q," she said, "Can you please be serious this once?"   "All right, all right," muttered the almighty entity, throwing his hands up in the air, "why do you mortals always have to be so gloomy about everything?" For some reason, he looked at Tuvok.   When Q finished explaining the situation, the entire senior staff was troubled -- except maybe for the EMH, who was looking around with an amazed little smile on his face, and was still wondering how Q could have gotten him here without his portable holotransmitter.   Chakotay was the first to speak. "Are you saying that you are banished from the continuum, like you were before, and that you can't help us get Lt Paris back?"   "Oh, no! I'm not banished. Once was enough, thank you very much. No, this is just about one Q. She has a temper, you know. She'll come to her senses eventually." The mortals in the Conference room heaved a collective sigh in relief. "It won't take her more than a century or two, three at most." The general mood turned back to desperation, and, in one person in particular, the urge to strangle Q. Fortunately, B'Elanna was sitting on the opposite side of the table from Q. "Then again, maybe if I could t   "Make up your mind, will you!" B'Elanna demanded.   "Well, if I can find some way to make it up to Q, she might let me back into the Continuum, and I'm sure she'll be happy to get rid of your precious lieutenant. She can't get him out of the Continuum while she's keeping me out. That's because of the... Never mind, I don't want to overburden any of your puny brains."   "So she locked the door." Q looked at Chakotay, who had given the simple explanation, for a moment, then shook his head, muttering something about "bipedal" and "tiny lifespans".   "Make what up to Q, Q?" Janeway asked suddenly.   The omnipotent being blushed. "Well, I know she told me not to let Junior do that, but I'm his father, aren't I? Doesn't that mean I get to spoil him?" Janeway sighed.   "And just how do you plan to make this up to Q?"   "Actually, Kathy, I was hoping you and your voyagers can think of something."B'Elanna was pacing up and down her quarters. If the captain could have seen her temper flaring, she would have locked the door for the safety of the rest of the crew, and the ship as a whole. She wanted to stuff the warp core down Q's throat, but she still needed him to get Tom back. He expected *them* to think up a way to get back in the other Q's favor! He was crazy.   "Think of anything yet?"   B'Elanna turned with a start. Q was sitting on her bed again.   "*You're* omnipotent. You think of something!" Q replied with a martyred sigh. Suddenly, he reminded B'Elanna very much of the Emergency Medical Hologram.   "I'm not *omnipotent*," Q said, "I'm almighty. There's a difference."   "Well, at least you know Q a bit. She doesn't exactly like me, remember?"   "Who knows what she thinks of you? I didn't think she liked Flyboy either, but she chose him, and when she could have had *me*."   "*Don't* remind me." B'Elanna sighed. "Isn't there something Q likes?"   "She's always been fond of Ke'essarian crystal flowers," Q said thoughtfully.   "Then make her a planet full of them!"   Q dismissed the idea with a wave of his hand. "She could do that herself, if she wanted."   "Q! She could do *anything* herself! It's all about the *gesture*, remember?" Q remained silent for a few moments.   "All right," Q said testily, "I'll try it. It won't work, but I'll try it, Ms Know-it-all." He vanished.   B'Elanna sat down at her desk and started to read a report to calm her nerves. She was only halfway through it when she realized that this was supposed to be her day off. Tom was supposed to be going to show her a holoprogram he had been working on for weeks. A romantic place in Paris, he had said. She sighed. Maybe the captain wouldn't let today count as a day off. She doubted it.   Then, from one moment to the next, Q appeared from thin air, sitting cross-legged on the desk right in front of B'Elanna. His face was unreadable. She snarled, but managed not to hit the annoying entity with the padd she was holding. That would probably have ruined the padd.   "Well?" she asked.   "It could have been worse, I suppose."   "What did she say?"   "First, she said -- and I quote -- `Do you honestly think a few shiny petals and stems can get you back in? Q, you're an even greater imbecile than I thought!' Then she went away for a few minutes, and when she returned, she said she would think about it! I doubt if she even knows what a simple `yes' or `no' means."   B'Elanna smiled. Could this be Tom's work? B'Elanna *had* gotten the it's-all-about-the-gesture crap from him. If she remembered correctly, he mentioned it just after he had given her a box of Neelix's Talaxian chocolates -- with leola root fillings.   "Good. Now, think of something else she likes and do it all over again."   "Again? Don't you think once is about enough?"   B'Elanna sighed. "No, it isn't. You'll have to keep sweet-talking Q 'till she let's you get back in."   "I'm not *that* desperate. I can wait as long as I have to, after all."   "Well I can't!" roared B'Elanna.   "The things I do for mortals," Q muttered under his breath. "All right, I'll think of something else. Uhmm... There's that candy, or, no, a vegetable that Q says tastes oh so good. What was it called again? A root, I think... Leola root! That's it! I should have thought of this much sooner. Be right back. I'm going to the Continuum -- or as near as I can get, anyway -- at once." He blinked out of B'Elanna's quarters.   The chief engineer sat down hard on her bed and stared wide-eyed at nothing. Leola root. She thought she was going to faint. Or at least throw up. Of all possible things, leola root! It was horrible. Then again, Q might take Voyager's supply of the near-poisonous substance to give to the other Q. Pity he had left so quickly, or she could have suggested it.   This time, B'Elanna didn't try to find something to keep her busy while Q was away -- she knew she wouldn't be able to concentrate. She did wonder for a moment if one of her fellow officers had thought of anything that could help Q -- and, thus, herself -- but Q had probably been harrassing them as much as he had her.   As time passed by, the half-Klingon became increasingly agitated. Half an hour. A full hour. Two hours. Two hours and seventeen minutes untill Q finally returned, however briefly.   B'Elanna was back to pacing her quarters again when Q reappeared. Sitting on her bed cross- legged, for the third time. B'Elanna wished that if anybody was going to sit on her bed, it would be Tom. Only then did she notice Q's enormous smile.   "My eternal gratitude is yours! And with me, you can take that litterally. Goody! Who said you can never go back home. Must have been a mortal. It may fit your Voyager, but not me!" And he was gone.   "Wait!" B'Elanna yelled, "Give me back Tom!" But nothing happened. She tapped her commbadge.   "Torres to Janeway."   "Go ahead."   "Q convinced Q to open up the Continuum again, but it seems they have forgotten Paris altogether."   "Not necessarily." The voice came from the open doorway. Someone was standing in it. It was Tom Paris, grin and all. "They may be omnipotent, but they did put me in the wrong quarters. Your Mr and Mrs Neighbour were *not* happy to be disturbed." He rubbed his neck, by which he had been physically forced out of the neighbouring quarters. A sudden gleam appeared in his eyes. "Then again, perhaps it was a hint." Tom's and B'Elanna's mouths met somewhere halfway to the door, as they embraced each other. "   "Uh huh," B'Elanna confirmed.   "And do you know what I want to do there with you?"   On the bridge, completely forgotten, captain Janeway broke the commlink before her face became too red.=/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\=               the End=/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\=               <<end titles>>     beta-read by: Maaike van Eekelen          copyright 1998     e-mail adress: Maaikeve@Freemail.nlMy sister's email; she'll pass things on to me.=/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\=(If all goes right, I'll start writing Tom's perspective on these events sometime soon.)=/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\==/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\=               epilogue=/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\=   "Tom?"   "Yeah?"   "About the Q. You called them omnipotent, but they're not. They're almighty. There's a difference."   "Yeah, that's what the other Q said, too."=/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\= =/\=