My Plea For Faith


B'Ellana POV. Her and Tom have been having some rough times and she is writing him 
a letter.

Dear Tom,


This is a plea for you to keep your faith in me. I know that I'm tough to handle. In the 
beginning, I warned you that I wouldn't be easy with me. I sent clear signals that would 
have sent most other men to the other end of the quadrant. However, you said, "I don't 
care". And I admired you then for having the determination and the courage-and the 
foolishness- to face the challenge that was B'Ellana Torres. 
There were some rough times and harsh battles when my demons first appeared. 
But you stood your ground beside me and helped me fight them, sometimes doing it by 
yourself. I loved you for proving your virtues.
And here we are. you watch my demons surround me. You watch me struggle, 
but this time you encourage me to do battle wit them myself. "I can't!" I cry, "I just 
can't!" You persuade me to keep fighting, but you are weary and frustrated, because I'm 
not fulfilling my potential to be myself with no fear. In the meantime, we are dying. 
Through the darkness and the confusion, I see your weariness, the tiny flicker of faith in 
your eye that is being drowned by the overwhelming fear that maybe I won't be able to 
get through this.
But hear my plea. stand beside me, make the flicker turn into a raging fire. You 
see.I love you and you are my reason to fight. Reason to struggle out of the darkness. If 
you leave me, there will be no reason for me to fight, and I be killed off by my demons.
I know that I'm tough to handle. In the beginning, I warned you that it would not 
be easy. But hear my plea for faith.  I will not let you down; just give me a little more 
time. Don't give up on me. I haven't.
I can't quite remember the day we met. I do remember that before I met you, I 
was the girl with the biggest chip in the galaxy on my shoulder. I wish I had known then 
what I know now. If only I had had the love and inspiration earlier, I really could have 
been something, maybe finished the Academy and gotten a posting on some normal ship 
in the Alpha Quadrant. But then I wouldn't have met you, so I guess that I needed to earn 
the chance of love, although I don't know what I did to earn it. I can't help but think that 
you saw something in me that I had yet to discover. For this, I thank you.
I have you to thank for so many things. For being firm with me when I needed 
it. Never letting me run away from myself. For being someone I could look up to, 
someone strong, Thank you for instilling me with a sense of beauty. found within 
myself. Maybe I didn't know it then, but now I know that you think me beautiful, inside 
and out. 
Sometimes, when I get back to my quarters from work-super drained, but when 
all is said and done? I love my job more than anything in this world, except for maybe 
you.  I love those plasma manifolds, and warp coils. I need to thank you for the 
opportunities that you gave me, the opportunities to be myself. Thank you.  For the first 
time in a long time, I see it with perfect clarity.