Summary : B'Elanna is missing Tom terribly and can't sleep. She decides to write to Tom. A hopelessly sappy story. Takes place two weeks after the Killing Game. Rated PG-13. Disclaimer: The characters and the ship belong to Paramount. I just borrowed them but they will never be the same after this. The only thing that belongs to me is the story. Unless of course you didn't like the story then I'm sure it belongs to some one else. Author's note: I'm not sure that this story really needs the PG-13 rating but I am slapping one on it any ways. There is nothing bad in it but it really doesn’t seem like a PG story. This story is just a hopelessly sappy story with no point. Don’t kill me I warned you. Know I will shut up and let you read my story. Sleepless in the Delta Quadrant It had been a long time since B'Elanna and Tom had had any time together. Besides for the brief hellos they said each morning at the senior staff meeting they hadn't spoken to each other for two weeks. Two long weeks of cleaning up the mess the Hirogen had made during their simulated 'hunt'. Two long weeks of little sleep and even less personal time. Two very long weeks of very cold showers. B'Elanna started each day with a cold shower and ended each day with another. It was enough to keep her from attacking Tom when they passed each other in the halls. Just barely enough. She still hadn't found away to control her wandering mind though. She'd be sitting in a jefferies tube all alone performing some mundane repair task and it would be all she could do to keep part of her mind on the task at hand. The other part of her mind would be focused on a pair of warp core crystal blue eyes. Right now B'Elanna was suppose to be sleeping but she couldn't. She couldn't stop her mind from thinking about Tom. As much as she hated cliches a tried but true one was proving its self. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. She wanted to call Tom right now but he was on duty. As understanding as Captain Janeway was she probably wouldn't appreciate a personal call while Tom was on duty. B'Elanna had checked the duty roster by the time was off duty she was back on. Damn it. She hated this. It was such a pain. There was too much to be done and not enough people to do it. She knew that but why did it have to ruin her personal life. Just because the ship was in shambles didn't mean her relationships had to be to. She needed to see Tom, wrap his arms around her and have him tell her everything was going to be all right. Things were going to get better. Almost more than life itself B'Elanna wanted to see Tom. She needed him to make things all better. If she couldn't see him maybe there was there was some thing she could do. She had once heard of an old earth tradition used before the invention of shuttles, transporters and subspace communication. When lovers were separated by long distances they'd write something called 'love letters' back and forth. Even though she and Tom weren't actually separated by a long distance lately it had seemed like they were quadrants apart. Maybe she'd try her hand at one of these 'love letters'. It was worth a shot. A PADD seemed too impersonal for this letter so B'Elanna got out a piece of paper and pen from a desk drawer. She was pleasantly surprised when she still remembered how to use a pen and quickly began her letter to Tom. It took her several tries to get a good start on the letter. Tom, Has it only been two weeks since the Hirogen left Voyager. It has seemed like an eternity. I hate being apart from you. We are on the same ship but I feel as though we are on different planets. I pass you in the halls but it is as though there is a forcefield that separates us. I hate it and I hate the Hirogen for doing this to us, for causing this. I miss you terribly. I think of you all day and dream of you all night. Cold showers, very cold showers are the only thing that has allowed me to keep my sanity during the past weeks. Every day the cold showers get a little colder, a little longer and a little more frequent. I want you. I need you. I need you in more than one way. I need to hear you say you love me. I need you to comfort me. Tom, I am scared. This whole thing with the Hirogen really shook me up pretty bad. The way they took over Voyager so easily. Then they made us completely forget who we were so we could act out their sick little fantasies. I don't like losing control of anything, my temper, my thoughts, my memory, anything. I need to look into your beautiful eyes and see your soul. Kiss your lips and taste you. Tom Paris, I have tasted your blood, I have your scent. I want you. I love you with all of my heart. That is quite an accomplishment for you. Winning the heart of a heart broken half Klingon is not an easy task, but it is a task at which you seemed to have excelled. It was not easy but you have won my heart. Now you hold it in your hands. Whether you choose break it further on try to mend it is up to you. I trust you. Tom, I miss you more and more every day. I hope that me can be together soon. Until then know that you hold my heart. Also know that you are my soul reason for living and that it causes me immense pain to be away from you. With all of my love, B'El After signing her name B'Elanna dropped the letter into an envelope. Before she sealed the envelope she sprayed the inside with wild orchid perfume. After the envelope was all sealed and addressed she threw on her bathrobe and headed down to Tom's quarters to deliver her letter. She figured that Tom was on duty so she let her self in. Tom had given her his access code a few weeks ago. She laid the letter on his pillow where he'd be sure to find it then went back to her quarters. She fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillows. It was the best sleep she'd had in weeks. The next morning the alarm woke B'Elanna at 05:00 hours. As her eyes adjusted to the lights she noticed something on the pillow next to her. It was a single red rose and a note. B'El, I love you more than life itself and miss you so much it hurts. I would never break your heart and if I did it would kill me. I am completely in love with you and will never stop loving you. We are both off duty tonight. I will see you if I have to fight the Kazon, the Borg and the Hirogen to get to you. I LOVE YOU!! Yours always and forever, Tom As B'Elanna set down Tom's letter and single tear rolled down her cheek. That was the first time any one had told her they loved her. Soon the single tear was not alone.