Title: For Miral
Author: Dasia
Email: njpm143@hotmail.com

Synopsis: An Endgame coda: mostly B'Elanna's thoughts about
Miral's birth
Rating: PG
Written: August 2001

Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom own Star Trek and its characters.
I am not writing about them for profit but just to see if I
can do it.

Thanks: To Brigid, for suggesting I try writing. And to her
and Barb (SamzMom) for reading the story and encouraging me.

Feedback: I'm hoping for some; this is my first story.
Please do not do anything with the story (other than reading
it, of course) without permission.



ENDGAME CODA: FOR MIRAL


Emotions washed over B'Elanna as the doctor placed the tiny
bundle in her arms--so unbelievably light. The only possible
response was to burst into tears. This, she thought, is how it
feels to create life. Overwhelmed almost to the point of
numbness. Proud, that she had after all been able to do it.
Humbled by the realization of her part in a much greater
scheme into which this experience had given her the merest
glimpse.

Wide-open, deep blue eyes regarded her. A little stranger.
B'Elanna had always been slow to warm to new acquaintances,
and even though this was her and Tom's eagerly-awaited
daughter, she wondered: 'Who are you? What are you going to do
to my life?' And, 'Will I be able to be the mother I want to be
for you?'

The door to Sickbay slid open, and Tom was by her side. "Are you
all right?"

"More than all right, Tom. Look."

"This is just--incredible, B'Elanna. She is so beautiful."

He stopped speaking to fill his eyes
with the sight of the two of them. His family.

The baby turned her head from side to side, her miniature
tongue flicking in and out of her mouth. B'Elanna passed her
to Tom. He looked deep into his wife's eyes as he cradled his
daughter in his arms, and realized he had never seen B'Elanna
smile with such radiance.

"I can't believe how far we've come together, you and I," he
told her. They were both silent for a time, overcome by the
wonder of it all.

"If only I could have been here with you." There was a world
of regret in Tom's voice.

There was no denying it; the timing had been cruel.
B'Elanna tried to find a way to help Tom come to
terms with missing their daughter's birth.

"I know how much you wanted to stay. But Voyager needed you
even more than I did. And we'll have such a story to tell
Miral about what her Daddy was doing at the very moment she
was born. You'll be her hero."

The baby's movements were becoming more pronounced, almost as
though she was looking for something. Tom and B'Elanna were
lost in rapt admiration of the purposeful way she seemed to
be examining her surroundings. Already an explorer!

They both felt slightly foolish when the doctor pointed out
that she was, in fact, hungry. B'Elanna remembered what he had
told her about nursing, and loosened her gown. Tom carefully
handed back the baby, whose tiny fists were beginning to beat
at the air. Once near her mother's breast, she rooted around
briefly before homing unerringly in on her target. B'Elanna
gasped a little at the unexpected sensation that surged through
her as the baby latched on firmly. Her daughter certainly had
the resolute grip of a Klingon!

Tom took a deep breath, and looked around for a chair. He
felt a little unsteady. But so very proud. Only just born, and
she knew just what to do.

Miral finished nursing, then settled into sleep nestled in her
mother's arms. B'Elanna gradually relaxed, letting go of the
energy and emotion that she had summoned during her labour.
Tom told about her Voyager's daring return to the Alpha
Quadrant, and Janeway's victory over the Borg Queen. But for
the two new parents, the major event of the day had taken
place right here in Sickbay. Their eyes never left Miral,
unless it was to share a contented smile or incredulous laugh
as they admired her lovely little face and kissed her tiny
curling fingers.

B'Elanna described the birth to Tom: "The medication the
doctor gave me took the edge off the pain, but eventually it
wore off. By then, though, I had realized that my body really
did know what to do. It was amazing, it was--" she searched
for the words-- "like I was part of a machine I'd never studied
or used before, but that functioned really, really well. The
waves of pain didn't seem to hurt as much if I worked with them.
Giving her that last push out into the world, I felt so powerful.
It was more exhilarating than I can tell you." B'Elanna finished
her account in a faraway tone of voice.

Tom wondered if he would ever really understand the Klingon
attitude toward physical pain. And he still profoundly
regretted not sharing that transcendent moment with B'Elanna.
But he knew very well by now how to live with what could not be
changed, and his disappointment was already beginning to be
softened by the growing enchantment he felt for his daughter.

For as long as he could, the doctor preserved their privacy,
but eventually, led by the Captain, the friends waiting
outside Sickbay would not be denied entry. They gathered
around B'Elanna's biobed offering hugs, tearful congratulations,
and extravagant admiration of Miral's perfection. They shared
in the Paris family's joy and, as they returned to their
workstations or quarters, they carried in their hearts a bit
of the sense of awe that pervaded Sickbay that day.

Tom and B'Elanna slept at last, with Miral in a tiny bed near
their two biobeds. When she woke for feeding, Tom brought her
to B'Elanna, handing her over almost reluctantly. As B'Elanna
embraced her, nuzzling her soft neck and breathing in the
pure, clean scent of newborn baby, she became aware of yet
another new sensation. She felt herself falling in love with
her baby as she held her close.

Loving Tom had taken months, years even. A few steps forward,
a step back. Gradually realizing that what she felt for him
was more than just that intense, irresistible desire. Hardly
daring to believe he could feel the same way about her.
Penetrating his cool defenses and allowing him to know her
real, fallible self. And finally being able to trust that he
really did love her, no matter what. The long, sometimes
painful, often joyful journey that had brought the two of them
to this triumphant moment.

But B'Elanna's love for Miral stole over her during that first
quiet night of nursing, tending to baby needs, gazing at that
exquisite little face, and sleeping with Tom by her side. She
felt it take root and bloom in her as the hours passed and she
recognized it for what it was. Effortlessly, B'Elanna's heart
opened and her love for Miral was born.


THE END