Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek, I don't.  So there. *pout*  Don'tsue! All the poems belong to Emily Dickinson, a poet who wrote from herheart.  Even if she were psycho, I still love her. :-)Dedication: To Robbie and Roxann, two wonderful actors, and thanks forbringing the characters alive. <3  and... To Jenny, DICKINSON RULES!!!Authors Note: This is sad.  I think this is sad.  If you burst outlaughing during the story, either you are a very insensitive person, orI'm a terribly bad writer.  I prefer the latter, but the second one isvery possible too. :-)"I've Seen A Dying Eye"by Krystal Banzon*********************"I cannot live with you,It would be life, And life is over thereBehind the shelfThe sexton keeps the key to,Putting upOur life, his porcelain,Like a cupDiscarded of the housewife,Quaint or broken;A newer SŽvres pleases,Old ones crack."      --"I cannot live with you"         Dickinson**********************     "That planet down there is amazing, Tom" B'Elanna said inastonishment.     "It's not *that* wonderful.  No one lives there and the earth isfilled with metals, and crystals, which makes it impossible for farmingand--"     "Look at this-- The ground is rich in Dilithium, and trilithum, andselporium, and the metals are compatible with the metals on Voyager!"she said, eyes shining.  "We could bulid new parts and--"     "The atmosphere is filled with turbulence.  The different aircurrents and chemicals mixing would make it hard to get through." Tomreplied.     "Can you get through it?" B'Elanna asked hopefully.     "I'm Tom Paris, best pilot inStarfleet.  'Course I can, question is, can you hold on?" Tom repliedsmirking.     B'Elanna smiled back, She loved this man.  Everything about him.His blue, blue eyes, his wonderful smile, everything.  B'Elanna lovedhim so much.  "Great.  Let's tell the Captain." she answered.     Tom loved her smile.  She should smile more often he thought.  Shewas so beautiful, He loved this woman, his wonderful, beautifulB'Elanna.  Tom tapped his commbadge.  "Shuttle Dickinson to Voyager." hesaid crisply.     "Voyager here." the Captains voice said over the link.  "Are yougoing to go down to the planet, Lieutenant?"     "Yes, Captain.  I'll take the shuttle down.  B'Elanna and I willcollect some samples, and we'll beam back to the shuttle."     "Affirmative.  You have twenty minutes Lts.   Go ahead, Tom.Voyager out."      Tom looked at B'Elanna, "This is going to be a bumpy ride." Tomsaid as he pressed the controls.********************"Hope is the thing with feathersThat perches in the soul,And sings the tune without the words,And never stops at all,"And sweetest in the gale is heard;And sore must be the stormThat could abash the little birdThat kept so many warm.I've heard it in the chillest land,And on the strangest sea;Yet, never, in extremity,It asked a crumb of me."--"Hope is the thing with feathers"Dickinson           ********************     "Dang!" B'Elanna cursed silently.  The shuttlecraft rolled andpitched and tossed and turned as if in a hurricane.  B'Elanna and Tomwere bith being tossed around like rag dolls.  Everytime they flew outof their seat, they would scramble to get back up there again, anotherforce would just knock them back again.       Tom was desperately trying to take back control of the helm, butfailed miserably.  B'Elanna tries to get thrusters, engines, shields,anything back on line, but failed also.       Tom was bleeding from a gash on his forehead and leg.  B'Elanna wasbleeding as badly too.  Their screams were echoed throughout the cabin,blood was everywhere.       "B'Elanna..." Tom tried to reach over and cover her battered body,with his own equally bruised one, when they both happened to glance atthe viewscreen and see the ground coming toward them at an incrediblyhigh speed....********************* "Because I could not stop for Death,He kindly stopped for me;The carriage held but just ourselvesAnd Immortality.--"Because I could not Stop for Death"Dickinson*********************     Captain Janeway was sitting in her chair in the middle of thebridge when she heard ear-piercing screams over the comm.  "Harry, theshuttle!" she exclaimed.     Harry, knowing exactly what she meant, what to do, and worryingabout his two friends, quickly tried to beam them aboard.  "Captain, Ican't transport them here, we're too far away."       "Chakotay, take the helm and bring us into transporter range."Janeway said calmly as she could.  Truth was, she was terrified for hertwo valued crewmembers.  She tried to think positive, while Chakotaybrought the ship in, but she couldn't help to think negatively, or getthe thought of a funeral out of her brain...************************"I felt a funeral in my brain,And mourners, to and fro,Kept treading, treading, till it seemedThat sense was breaking through.And when they all were seated,A service like a drumKept beating, beating, till I thoughtMy mind was going numb.And then I heard them lift a box,And creak across my soulWith those same boots of lead, again.Then space began to tollAs all the heavens were a bell,And being but an ear,And i and silence some strange race,Wrecked, solitary, here."--"I felt a funeral in my brain"Dickinson***********************     Pain, that was all she felt.  Overwhelming pain, but still.  Shethough of him.  "Tom..." she called out weakly, forcing her bruised bodyto move and her eyes to open.  "Tom?" She called out again, he voiceonly a croak.  B'Elanna was bloody all over, the pain was so strong itwas an effort to stay concious.  But she had to find out how Tom was....     B'Elanna opened her eyes to gape at her battered body.  But shequickly pushed that out of her mind as she looked around the shuttle.Well, not shuttle anymore.  More like wreckage.  Wreckage which lookedas if it were about to collapse.  B'Elanna saw Tom's body in a corner,his face deathly pale, and body limp.Oh, God, she thought, God, please don't let him be dead.  I Love him....     B'Elanna dragged her aching body to Tom's.  She put her bloody handto his face, "Tom, tom, wake up..... please, Tom..."  She felt for apulse, it was there, but weak and unsteady.       Tom stirred, "B'Elanna..." his voice only a whisper.       "Tom, oh, Tom..." B'Elanna gasped holdiing his cheek.     "B'Elanna.... I love you, I want you know that I love you, I'vealways loved you...." Tom said quickly knowing his time was limited.     "Tom, I love you too....  Don't die, please don't leave me,please." B'Elanna said tears rolling down her cheek.        "I love you. B'Elanna.  Tell the captain thank you, and Harry hewas my best friend, and Chakotay that I considered him a very goodfriend, and the Doc that he was always human to me, and tell--"     "Tom, NO!  I love you, Tom!  Don't leave me alone!  I don't want tobe alone again!  Don't Leave me!!"     "I'm sorry, B'Elanna.  I don't want to leave.... I'll always bewith you, always...I love you..."Tom said as his voice trailed off and his hand that was on her cheekslipped down onto the ground.     "NO!  Tom!  Come back!  Come back.... come back...." B'Elanna said,until the darkness, the not-so-merciful darkness claimed her. *************************"I like a look of agony,Because i know it's true;Men do not sham convulsion,Nor simulate a throe.The eyes glaze once, and that is death.Impossible to feignThe beads upon the foreheadBy homely anguish strung."--"I like a look of Agony"Dickinson*************************     "B'Elanna was found by Tom body, Tom's dead body.  B'Elanna wasnearly dead herself.  If we had come any later, she might have beenlost." Tuvok explained to the captain.     "Thank you, Tuvok.  Dismissed." Janeway said.  Inside, Janeway wasafraid for B'Elanna.  She knew the ship already lost part of her.Janeway knew Tom was important to her, and was afraid.  Afraid of whatB'Elanna was going  to put herself through.       Janeway knew what it felt like to lose someone you loved, luckilyher sister had been able  to get her through it.  Janeway was afraid theonly one who could do that for B'Elanna was Tom, and he was.... gone.       She knew what it felt like.  Kathryn knew what it felt like to seea dying eye.An eye that would stare at you, then glaze over....A dying eye.....**********************"I could not die with you,For one must wait To shut the other's gaze down,You could not.And I, could I stand byAnd see you freeze,Without my right of frost,Death's privelege?"--"I cannot live with you"Dickinson**********************     B'Elanna woke up in sickbay, sore, but nonetheless better.  Hercuts and brusies, broken bones, and other harsh injuries were taken careof.  The Captain and Chakotay were there to see her awaken.B'Elanna opened her eyes and saw the light of the sickbay, the concernedfaces of Chakotay the Captain and the Doctor, she was on Voyager.B'Elanna sat up.  "Tom..." she asked.     "B'Elanna, Tom's.... gone." Janeway replied sympathetically.     Suddenly it all dawned on B'Elanna.  The memories of Tom dying, andhis last words.... "NO!!" B'Elanna screamed.  The other three jumpedback.     "NO!!  Why didn't you leave me there??  Why didn't you leave me todie with him??  I wanted to stay with Tom!!  NO!!!!" B'Elanna screamedhysterically, sobbing the whole time.     "B'Elanna....." Janeway took the sobbing B'Elanna into her armslike she would a child, while B'Elanna cried on her shoulder, Janewayshed a few tears for herself, Tom, and her Chief Engineer.***********************"They'd judge us--how?For you served heaven, you know,Or sought to,I could not,Because you saturated sight,And i had no more eyesFor sordid exellenceAs Paradise.And were you lost, I would be,Though my name Rang loudestOn the heavenly fame.And were you saved,And I condemned to beWhere you were not,That self were hell to me.So we must meet apart,You there, I here,With just the door ajarThat oceans are,And prayer,And that pale sustenance,Despair!"--"I cannot live with you"Dickinson**********************     B'Elanna had been out of sickbay for three weeks now.  Doing herduty shifts, not saying a word unless needed, and going straight toTom's quarters where she had moved all her things.       Crewmembers gave her sad looks when she passed by, but B'Elannanever noticed.  She only ate meager meals, and slept.       Voyager had barely moved from their spot in space since Tom'sdeath.  Much repairs had been needed after Voyager got so close to theplanet to beam B'Elanna aboad.  As a bigger ship, Voyager took morepounding.  Plus, with Tom gone, and B'Elanna's situation, repair workswere going extremely slow.       Janeway called a seinor staff meeting, to explain their situation.She told her crew to try and help get repairs done as soon as possible."I want Voyager to start moving and I want her to start soon, please."Janeway said looking at her haggard seinor officers.  "Plus," Janewaysaid, looking straight at B'Elanna, "I want you to start eating.  Thisisn't healthy B'Elanna.  We all care about you and your well being.  Idon't want to make it an order, Lt."      "Yes, ma'am." B'Elanna answered quietly.     "Dismissed," Janeway said watching B'Elanna walk out quickly.      B'Elanna sat in the Mess hall poking at her food.  She didn't feellike eating.  She missed Tom so much.  She couldn't get him out of hermind, his last words, "I love you...." his dying breath, his eyes....oh, his eyes.  his beautiful blue eyes misting over like a fog over thesea...  She couldn't cry anymore, her eyes were red and dry, her worldwas falling apart.     "Hey, B'Elanna, you okay?" Harry asked, sitting across from her.     "NO!  I am *NOT* okay." She practically yelled.     "Look, B'Elanna, I know you miss Tom, so do I, but--"     "You have NO idea how I feel!!  I LOVED him!  I *LOVED* him, Harry!He was my world.  He was everything to me, and now hes gone!" B'Elannacried, and ran out of the mess and straight to Tom's room.       She collapsed onto his bed, sobbing, breathing in the scent of him,grabbing a picture of him and hugging it tightly to her chest.  Shemissed him so much.....  She felt so empty, so alone.  She felt as ifher world had just crumbled in on her, leaving her alive under all thedebris, buried alive.... she felt as if she were going crazy.       B'Elanna fell asleep in Tom's quarters, laying in Tom's bed,covered in Tom's sheets, hugging a picture of Tom, and dreaming aboutTom.*********************"I felt a clearing i my mindAs if my brain had split;I tried to match it, seam by seam,But could not make them fit.The thought behind I strove to joinUnto the thought before,But sequence ravelled out of reachLike balls upon a floor."--"I felt a clearing in my mind"Dickinson*********************     Harry walked up to the door of Tom's room where B'Elanna wasundoubtedly sleeping.  Harry hated to see his friend like this, and hewas trying his best to help her get through this.  Harry pressed thedoor chime.     B'Elanna didn't answer.     "B'Elanna?  Open up!  It's me, Harry!" Harry yelled.     Once again no answer.     Harry pressed in the security access code, and stepped in beforethe sliding doors fully opened.       It wasn't what he thought he would see.  B'Elanna wasn't in there."B'Elanna?" he called out. No answer.      Harry shut the doors and headed to engineering.     The turbolift doors opened.     "Morning, Ensign." Janeway greeted Harry.       "Hello, Captain.  B'Elanna wasn't in her quarters this morning, andshe wasn't in enginneering either." Harry said.     "Computer, locate Lt. B'Elanna Torres." Janeway said to thecomputer.     "Lt. Torres is not on Voyager." came the prompt reply.     Janeway glanced at Chakotay when the veiwcreen came on, "B'Elanna'shailing us." Harry said sadly.     "B'Elanna, you don't have to do this." Janeway exclaimed.       "Yes, I do, Captain.  I'm sorry.  Tell everyone that i'm sorry, andI care about them all.  Thank you, Captain, for everything.  Chakotay,thanks.  I'll miss you all...." B'Elanna said her face determined, butcrying.     "B'ELANNA!  No!!" Harry yelled out, from his station.     B'Elanna smiled, and let out a little chuckle, "I'll miss you too,Starfleet." she said.       B'Elanna's eyes glazed over as the shuttle fell towards the planet,at the last moment, the viewscreen went dark, and was replaced by a viewof the planet and the little spark the impact of the shuttle made on theplanets face.        Janeway cried in front of her bridge crew. Remembering B'Elanna'seyes as the shuttle almost hit, the way her eyes glazed over, like icemelting over fire....************************"I've seen a dying eyeRun round and round a roomIn search of something, as it seemed,Then cloudier become;And then, obscure with fog,And then, be soldered down,Without disclosing with it be,'T were blessed to have seen."--"I've seen a dying eye"Dickinson************************     B'Elanna shut the viewscreen, and saw the ground come closer andcloser.  She held on, but the impact was so fast, she died on impact.       But, truth be told, she died long before that.  B'Elanna died onthat moment, on that planet, with Tom.  B'Elanna died back with herlove.  She died at that same moment when Tom's eyes glazed over.  Themoment when blue skies turned gray, fire was smothered by water, icywater.  **************************"My life closed twice before it's close;It remains to seeIf Immortality unveilA third event to meSo huge, so hopeless to conceiveAs these that twice befell.Parting is all we know of heaven,And all we need of hell."--"My life closed twice before it's close"Dickinson***************************"I saw a dying eye."finiCopyright 7/13/98Krystal BanzonFeedback at StartreX@Webtv.netArchived?  Ask!!Well.... :-) or :-( ???