Title: Do you think... Author: Brigid Email: brigidandmike@juno.com Rating: [PG-13] Synopsis: A small discussion on happiness. Disclaimer: Paramount owns the characters. I thank them for letting me play with them. Date: May 2002 Do you think..... Tom and B'Elanna are relaxing in his quarters after a long day... B: Tom, do you think my breasts are small? T: Just perfect, who needs more than a mouthful? Pause.... B: Am I too short? T: Nah, you're just the right height for resting my chin on your head. B: snort... Pause.... B: My eyes are the color of mud. T: To me they're rich pools of chocolate. B'Elanna rolls her chocolate pools.... B: My hair is so dark and coarse. I wish it were lighter, maybe blond and silky.... T: ah - I see, having trouble with the Borg are we? B: No why would you ask? T: Oh, I don't know, breasts, height, eyes, hair - You know I think you're perfect just the way you are. B: Oh yeah, forehead ridges are sooooo attractive T: Shows there's a lot of passion there, trying to get out. What's got you so upset? B: The way men look at her, Harry, Ayala, even Chakotay. Their deference to her - her Borg efficiency... T: The only reason men don't look at you like that is because you're a senior officer. And they all know you're mine. I've threatened them so they won't come near. B: You've threatened them? T: Well, just a little. B: Oh great, what did you tell them? One look and you're stuck with her? T: I told them you were my girl and they better not get any ideas. Why are you so defensive tonight? B: The borg! She invades my engine room, giving orders like she owns the place and is a total distraction to all the men in the room. You know, Tom, I've even caught the women looking at her! T: Are we a little jealous? B: No, of course not! T: Well, maybe you need a little reassurance, I could go down to Engineering and take a poll: Who's the most beautiful engineer in the Delta Quadrant? B: Only the Delta Quadrant? T: Oh, I don't know, maybe the whole galaxy. B: I need more. T: Well, I could space Seven but I think that might be noticed after a while. B: I'm waiting. T: B'Elanna, what do you expect me to do? I can't make her any less attractive. And I can't pretend that she's stupid. B: You could find her a boyfriend. T: Other than Harry? B: Puhleeeze... I wouldn't do that to Harry. Any others? T: She tried with Chapman. That didn't go well at all. She's already turned down the Doc's advances. B: Think Chakotay could handle her? T: What?!? B: Well, he's available. She's not technically under his command. He's good looking and smart. Seems like a good match to me. T: What about the Captain? B: What about her? She's kept him at arms' length for over six years. Why should he wait for her? T: I thought you liked Chakotay. B: I do. But he needs someone. He's lonely. And he might have a good effect on Seven. He also might keep her out of my hair. T: You have a mean streak in you that I never imagined. B: It's not mean. It's a logical step that meets two needs. Mine and Chakotay's. T: Okay, so tell him. B: No, it would be a lot better if it came from you. And I don't think you should start with Chakotay. I think you should suggest it to Seven first. T: Wait a minute. When did this become my problem? B: Tom, I'm not happy and when I'm not happy Voyager isn't happy, the Engineering staff isn't happy and most of all, you're not happy. Do you want to be happy, Tom? T: This sounds like a threat to me. B: No, it's a request from the short, flat-chested, mud-eyed, kinky-haired woman who can make you very happy or not, your choice. T: Hmmm..... I guess I'll see if Seven wants to go to breakfast tomorrow... End of discussion