Claustrophobia by GeminiThis is a bit of story that sprung into my head. I decided to write it down. I hope you like it. It is a bit of a tear-jerker but not that bad. This is my first story so please be nice. All flames and/or comments to Rach@jphob.globalnet.co.uk.As usual I am not making any money from this nor do I expect to. I do not own Star Trek: Voyager or any of the characters if I did I would not have to save up to go on holiday to Italy with my FriendsClaustrophobia by Gemini"So...." B'Elanna stood with her arms crossed facing Tom. "So What?" "So. As in why are you so afraid of Stasis?" "I'm not afraid. I just...." A small tear trickled down Tom's face but he wiped it away before B'Elanna saw. "Are you going to tell me or not?" B'Elanna carried. Her look threatened violence if he didn't tell "not" Tom replied and then he walked out of the mess hall. B'Elanna paused for a second before running after him. Seven turned to Harry, with a curious look "Why was Lieutenant Torres so keen to find out about Lieutenant Paris' fear of stasis?" She asked "I don't know. Curiosity killed the cat" "What cat?" Seven replied."Tom, wait... Why won't you tell me? How bad can it be?" Tom whirled on his heels his face dancing with rage "Why can't you just leave me alone?" This time he didn't succeed in wiping away the tear before B'Elanna saw "I'm sorry" B'Elanna replied "but I love you and I want to know what's going on" B'Elanna placed her hand on Tom's shoulder, her eyes pleading Tom to tell her. "I will tell you. Just not here, not now" and with that Tom broke from her grasp and headed into the Turbolift to his quarters.The next day, Tom didn't see much of B'Elanna he had Alpha Shift and she had Beta shift so they managed to miss each other until B'Elanna finished her shift. "Carey, Can you check the Plasma Manifolds, I think there may be a problem. I'm off shift now" and she left Engineering and headed to Tom's quarters. She heard his voice inside saying "Come in" She walked, slowly, into his quarters, huddled on his sofa staring at a padd. She walked up to him "Tom, I know you didn't want to talk last night, but will you talk now" He looked up his eyes brimming with tears. "okay, but please don't interrupt I need to tell the whole story" B'Elanna sat down on the sofa next to him and placed her arm around him. He started the story"I was 9 at the time. It was the 21st of June. We were living on a colony on Mars at the time but Dad was going to be posted to a Starship soon and we were to be moved to a colony on Terrus 4. It was a week before we were supposed to leave and Dad had been packing his bags to join the Starship. It had been really busy that morning. My sisters had been saying goodbye to all their friends and making up padds with all their friends details. I didn't have that many friends, Dad had moved me forward in class 2 years and all the other kids treated me like a spoilt brat so I just sat in my room staring up at the sky and wondering if I would find any friends on Terrus 4. I sat there all day. Eventually my sisters came home, crying about all their friends, Melissa was especially upset because she had to leave her boyfriend of three years. Andrea was complaining about the weather on Terrus 4 and how it wasn't artificially controlled like it was on Mars.""It was about Midnight and everyone except me had gone to sleep. I heard a rustling in the room next to me. I thought about getting up and asking what was going on. I just thought Alex had brought one of his pets into the house but the rustling didn't stop" "Who's Alex?" B'Elanna interrupted, forgetting her promise. Tom just carried on "Alex was my brother. Anyway the rustling didn't stop so I grabbed my Jeans and Sweater off the back on the chair and quickly got dressed, putting on my trainers. I crept outside my room and I waited. I must have waiting for an hour before Alex crept out of his room with a large bag slung over one shoulder. He placed padd on the table in the sitting room before walking out of the door. I grabbed my coat and followed him, making sure I shut the door behind me""He walked for a long time until he reached the ruins of an old house that used to stand in one of the craters. He walked into the house and dropped his bag on the floor. I followed, cautiously, I had heard that the house was haunted and I was quite gullible in those days though I was so adventurous I had to find out what was going on. I watched him walk up the staircase and walk into one of the rooms. I started to follow him but one of the stairs creaked and he came back out of the room and he stared at me 'Tom' he said 'What are you doing here?' 'I wanted to know where you were going' I replied. Barely, daring to look at his face. I thought he would be angry instead he just smiled and helped me up the stairs. When were at the top and turned round to me and said 'I hope no-one followed you. I don't want Mum and Admiral Paris' he did a fake salute at those words 'to know where I've gone' He turned round to me and said 'you better go home'. I just stared up at him 'Where are you going?' I asked. It finally sunk in that he was leaving home. 'I don't know' he replied, his words were intertwined with sobs 'away from here'""I didn't understand why he was leaving on that day. I do now. I learnt why shortly after that day. 'Why?' I asked Alex 'Because Admiral Paris' again followed by a fake salute 'Is very nasty to me' he said, trying to put it into words I'd understand. 'Nasty? How?' I questioned him further 'He likes to hit and beat me because I don't do what he says. Because I don't want to go into Starfleet' Alex was only 17 at this time but Dad had already enrolled him in Starfleet Academy. 'why? You always told Daddy that you wanted to go?' 'I told him because I didn't want to be hit again' and then he sank to the floor 'I know you don't understand, Tom, and I hope you never will but Daddy likes to pick on someone weaker than he is. So he picked on me. He might pick on you someday but I will try and make sure that never happens. As soon as I get settled in a new place. I'll send you a Comm and you can come and live with me' He was right, I didn't understand. Admiral Paris was always nice to me apart from when I was really bad. I didn't that Alex's multiple bruises had anything to do with Dad. Alex was very clumsy you see. Always falling over, Dad said."" 'Look this may be my last day here. So Tom, I'm going to give you the responsibility of looking after Andrea and Melissa. You're going to be the man in the house. Gods know, Admiral Paris can't be' I felt very proud that I was going to look after the house at that moment but, also, sad that Alex was leaving. 'Can I stay here tonight?' I asked. Alex smiled and said 'Of course, but when you wake up in the morning I'll be gone. I'm getting an early shuttle' I just smiled and Alex picked me up and we went into one of the room. I went to sleep on the floor while Alex slept on the bed"Tom ran a hand through his hair. B'Elanna kept silent though she could see he was getting to a difficult bit. "I was woken up that night by a massive shuddering of the building. I knew what it was. Mars very commonly had Earthquakes but I was still afraid. The building was very unstable. I stood up and walked over to Alex and woke him up, 'Don't worry, Tom, it's just an Earthquake. It'll pass' He got out of bed and we sat huddled in the middle of the floor waiting for it to pass. I'm not sure what happens next but suddenly the floor and roof caved in I felt myself fall and Alex grabbed my hand as we fell together. I don't remember hitting the floor. I must have blacked out""When I woke up, I still had hold of Alex's hand but I felt cold. I thought it was because there was no roof to shelter us. I tried to move but I was completely enclosed by rubble. The only contact I had with the outside was Alex's hand and that felt so cold and clammy. I couldn't see a thing. My lungs felt clogging with dust and every breath was a wheezing cough. The pain was, almost, unbearable. It felt like every bone in my body was broken. In fact most of them were. I tried to scream but every effort just filled my lungs with more dust. I lay in the dirt for almost 6 hours trying to warm up Alex's hand when I heard voices. 'The old house collapsed last night in the Earthquake. Thank god it was deserted' I tried to scream again but no sound came out 'Hang on what's that' I heard feet scrabbling. 'Oh my god, it's a kid. Check for a pulse' 'No, there isn't one' I remember thinking that they couldn't be looking in the right place. Alex had to be alive. 'Let's get him out of here. The rest of the house could come down any minute' I felt Alex's hand being pulled away from me so I just hung on tighter. 'It's caught on something in the rubble' 'See if we can clear some of it away' I could hear stones being pulled away until I felt a slight chill on my hand. 'Holy shit' 'What is it?' 'There is another hand here' 'Oh god, not another one' 'No, this one seems to have a pulse, just a weak one but there is something there' 'I go and get help. You see if you can speak to him or her' I heard footsteps running away from the site and repeated calls for help." "Meanwhile someone took Alex's hand away from mine, I tried to hold on but I couldn't. I felt another hand in mine. A warm hand. It was, then, I realised Alex was dead. I tried to pull my hand back but the other person just held on. 'Shush, It's all right. My name is Andrew Green. I'm going to try and get you out of there. My son, Jonathan, has gone to get help. What's your name?' Somehow I managed to reply 'Tom' the voice sounded hoarse. 'Okay, Tom, I going to try and dig you out. I may hurt a bit' 'Where's Alex?' I asked. 'Os that your friend' 'My brother. He was here. His hands gone' A silence filled the air. 'I'm afraid your brother was very badly hurt in the fall. He isn't alive' I let a massive sob into the air and my body was racked with convulsions. 'Hey, hang on, kid. Where are your parents? I need to find them' His voice sounded reassuring. 'Daddy's leaving for a Starship today. Mummy's a home' The man decided to try and keep me talking. 'Is your Daddy in Starfleet?' 'He's an Admiral' I replied. I, now, know why the man went silent. I didn't then. I could imagine the feeling of knowing that trapped under the rubble was a Starfleet Admirals son and that one of his sons had already died. 'Help' I whispered, my mouth was clogged with dust. This seemed to spring him back into life and so I felt rocks moving off me, soon my face was clear I tried to open my eyes but I couldn't see anything. I heard a lot of people scrabbling down the bank and soon all the rocks were moved off. A stretcher was placed under me and I was carried off to a shuttle near the house.""There weren't good enough facilities on Mars so I was taken over to Earth. Apparently my sisters sat with me the whole way but I don't remember any of it. I remember my Dad telling everyone to leave us alone and then he turned to me and said 'Your brother is dead. It is your fault. I wish you were dead' and then he turned around and left. I believed him. I thought it was my fault Alex died. After about a year I was able to walk normally again. Dad had left the day after the accident for the Starship. We moved to Earth for most of the time so I could keep having physiotherapy and psychotherapy. I didn't say that I was responsible so the Psychiatrist thought I was getting better. As soon as I was released I tried to commit suicide. I slashed my wrists. Andrea walked in and found me she rushed me to casualty where they managed to save me but I took a month for me to recover. I was in constant psychotherapy for 6 years. When I was 16 I joined the academy. Dad had come back in the last year and he constantly beat me and hit me. I realised what Alex had been talking about. I wanted to run away but I didn't. I thought it was my fault and that I deserved the beatings. The rest of my history you know" Tom finished with tears running down his face. B'Elanna drew him into a tight hug "Ever since then I've hated being in any sort of confinement. Severe Claustrophobia, the Psychiatrist called it. They tried to cure it but I could never face any sort of small space without a severe panic attack often leading to me knocking myself out to get away. So they stopped. There you go, my story. Happy?" The tone of sarcasm in Tom's voice didn't cover up the severe sadness in his voice. "I'm so sorry, Tom, If I'd known, I wouldn't have teased you" "I needed to tell someone. Thanks for listening" "Anytime" Tom and B'Elanna just sat there hugging each other until it was time for Tom's shift to start. "Are you going to be okay?" B'Elanna asked her voice laced with concern. "Now, I will" Tom replied as he left for the bridge "With you, everything is okay"The End Any flames, comment, threats of violence if I Write another fanfic should be sent to Rach@jphob.globalnet.co.uk