Summary: Not much had been happening on Voyager and so Neelix decides to live things up a bit with a party. Takes place an indefinent amount after Day of Honor. Rated PG-13.Author's note: Originally this was suppose to be a short pointless story but it doesn't seem to want to end. I think I am having way too much fun with this story. This story was an attempt to write something funny but I am not a very funny person. I thought I better warn you. Comments and criticisms are welcome but be kind I am fragile.Disclaimer: The characters, the ship and the unknown universe belong to paramount. I am just taking the characters out to play. Please don't sue I am making no profit off this now nor will I ever make any profit. The only thing I own is the story, unless of course you didn't like it then I have never seen it before.BOREDOMThe USS Voyagers bridge crew sat at their stations looking very bored. They had been passing through a relatively empty piece of space for the past few weeks. At first it had been a nice change of pace but recently the crew had been bored out of their minds. Everyone seemed to be wishing for the kind of action that was so common place on the ship."Captain, sensors are showing a large unidentified mass at heading 103 mark 7." Harry Kim reported from opps with some excitement. Maybe they would get a little action today. "Wait, scratch that it was just a smudge." He said rubbing the screen vigorously with his thumb. "Neelix to the Captain" The Talaxian and self appointed morale officer said over the COM."Captain here." Janeway replied straightening herself up. She had been slouched over in her chair daydreaming when the little man had interrupted her. "Captain, I have come up with a idea to help relieve some boredom." Neelix told her."What is it Mr. Neelix?""I'd rather not spoil the surprise, if you wouldn't mind coming down to the mess hall ""I am on my way" Janeway replied practically jumping out of her seat.* * *"Well, heard anything about Neelix's surprise yet?" Harry asked Tom as they  sat down with a plate of what ever Neelix expected them to digest today."No, nothing concrete. Stellar cartography is saying it's a dance, engineering is says a party and the Captain's lips are sealed." Tom told his friend."I don't care what it is as long as it is interesting" Harry said. " You don't care what, what is?" B'Elanna asked joining them with her own plate of florescent glop."Neelix's surprise." Tom informed her. "Oh that" B'Elanna replied picking up a fork full of food (if it could be called that) and mindlessly shoving it into her mouth. "Yuck!! This is awful" She exclaimed almost spitting her food right into Tom's lap. She forced herself to swallow then grabbed her water and downed it in one gulp."I think I'll pass on lunch." Tom declared. After seeing B'Elanna's reaction there was no way he was going to try and down Neelix's latest creation. "I will to." Harry added. "So much for my break. I've got a job to do around here unlike some other Lieutenant I know." B'Elanna declared. She really didn't have much to do but it was fun tormenting Tom."I like to let some other pilots get in some practice. Its good for them." Tom said. "Yeah right. You just hate it when you can't show off your hot shot piloting skills cause Janeway is making you fly in a straight line." B'Elanna exclaimed.Harry sat back to watch his two friends. He wondered if they ever knew what a scene they created when they were tormenting each other. The noise level in the mess hall would drop two or three notches because everyone was ease dropping. Their flirting in the mess hall is practically what kept the betting pools up and running.* * *The alpha shift had just ended and Tom was headed for engineering. He was hoping to get B'Elanna out of engineering on time for once. The Doors parted before he got there and B'Elanna Torres strolled out. "Torres, what are you doing out of engineering your shift only ended five minutes ago." He joked."Oh, I'm on my way to a date with an absolutely gorgeous guy." Torres joked right back. Tossing her hair back she made like she was going to walk right past Tom. As she came close he grabbed her and pulled her into a kiss right in the middle of the hallway. "Now, about that date?" Tom said."What date?" She replied with her best innocent act. "Good." He stated. He loved the way she liked to tease him. "Actually, some one recently mentioned feeling that I was neglecting them so I thought I would make it up to them." She told him."I'd like that. But we should probably make an appearance at Neelix's party first." Tom said."What party?" B'Elanna asked with no hint of joking in her voice."Didn't you hear? Neelix is having a beach party to help relieve the boredom that has settled over the crew.""Do we have to go?? I could think of a few better ways to alleviate my boredom." B'Elanna Whined."Sounds good to me Lieutenant, but we wouldn't want to arouse suspicion." "Oh, alright. We'll go to Neelix's boring old' party as long as you promise we can do something fun afterwards." She complied. "Yes, ma'am." Tom replied.* * *"Ah, Lt. Paris and Torres, glad to see you could come." The Little man exclaimed. He looked so much like an elf from ancient earth mythology that it sometimes made Paris want to break down in laughter when he saw Neelix."We wouldn't miss it." B'Elanna lied trough clench teeth. In fact she would have not even come if it wouldn't have aroused so much suspicion. "Ah there's the Captain. If you two will just excuse me." Neelix bubbled brushing past them. He was very much enjoying his role as host. A little more than necessary in B'Elanna's opinion.B'Elanna and Tom headed in the direction of Harry and Seven. B'Elanna didn't really feel much like making small talk. There were other things that she really wanted to do on her first night of getting off duty on time since she became chief engineer. Alas, poor B'Elanna was stuck being a social butterfly (yeah right) at another one of Neelix's boring lame old parties. A few moments after the couples entrance Neelix stood up on a chair, cleared his throat and called for everyone's attention. "I would like to thank you all for attending my party. I'm sorry it is on such short notice but with the recent lack of interesting happenings I thought the crew could use some entertainment." Neelix squealed."I could think of much more entertaining things to be doing right now." B'Elanna growled in a sultry voice for Tom's ears only.  "Oh really" Tom purred. Then he slipped his arms around B'Elanna's waist and pulled her towards him so that her back was pressed against his front. At first B'Elanna resisted but then she gave in. It was not like there was actually a person on the ship who didn't know about her and Tom. She also didn't really think that Janeway would bust them for it considering how fast the space between her and a certain commander (whose name I will leave to your twisted imaginations) was shrinking. "Tonight I have prepared some of the greatest delicacies known to humanoid species." The morale officer continued. "I have gathered favorite recipes not only from the alpha quadrant but the Delta quadrant too." At that the crew tried their hardest to suppress the collective moan that was about ready to exploded. They were rather successful based on the odds. The moan ended up to be some what of a large release of air. "I am especially proud of the drink I have prepared for this occasion. On Talaxia puncnara is only served to the wealthy on very special occasions. I have been working for almost two months to get the recipe just right. I believe I have finally made it perfect." The little man (elf) beamed. With that he finished his speech and jumped of the chair heading towards the kitchen. Moments later he reappeared guiding to hover trays full of mugs. Each clear mug was filled with a frothy fizzing neon red liquid. Stopping in front of each crew member he handed them a mug of puncnara. When he reached Tom and B'Elanna he paused for a moment unsure of exactly how to go about making sure both of them received some of his precious puncnara. He screwed up his face a bit. He was rather annoyed that these two thought they were so important as to stop his neat process. He was relieved he didn't have to say anything because B'Elanna wriggled free of Tom's grasp and took a drink for both herself and Tom. The drink smelled sweet and tingled her nose when she tried to smell it to make sure it wouldn't end up all over Tom's Hawaiian shirt. The drink did not smell particularly appetizing to B'Elanna but she noticed the rest of the crew seemed to be enjoying it. "It's not that bad B'Elanna" Tom reassured her. "Kinda taste a bit like an old earth drink called coke and rum."Not wanting to insult Neelix, whose cooking she'd be eating for the next few weeks because she blew all her replicator rations on the swim suit and wrap she was wearing, she cautiously sipped the puncnara. Surprisingly it wasn't too bad. It kind of made her head swim a little but it was a lot better than she thought it was going to be. It was defiantly a much needed and welcomed improvement over the leola root shakes Neelix had served at his last party. B'Elanna glance up at Paris who had inhaled over half his drink already. Looking around the room B'Elanna noted that every one seemed to be enjoying their drink. Even the stoic Vulcan and former Borg were sipping puncnara. "Tom, I don't know how you can drink that so fast" B'Elanna said with pure amazement not the slightest hint of nagging. "I just took one drink and already my head is spinning a little.""This isn't anything, I've defiantly downed a lot stronger stuff faster than this before." Tom bragged, which he was very fond of doing. "I just thought I might want to be semi conscious later". "You better be more than semi conscious fly boy!" B'Elanna snarled. After downing her glass of puncnara the spinning in B'Elanna head subsided and she felt quite exhilarated. Apparently so did the rest of the crew.   The noise level in the holodeck had risen several decibels in the past few minutes. Several crew members were carrying on very heated conversations. The most interesting one was between a certain "green" ensign and a certain someone who thought body paint was clothing. "Ensign Kim, I am in need of clarification on a subject." Seven stated. Even in a state of half drunkenness she was still mechanical in her manor."Okay Seven, I'll do my best." Harry told. "I am having trouble understanding human courtship. It seems illogical.""Whose courtship are you using for an example?""The only courtship I have been giving the opportunity to witness is Lt. Paris and Torres'""Don't base any assumptions on them they are highly irregular people.""Highly irregular!" B'Elanna yelled bursting in, in the middle of the conversation. "I'll give you highly irregular!" She raised her arm and was about ready to punch him when Tom grabbed her fist. He seemed to be much less drunk than the people around him. "B'Elanna you can't pound Harry into the floor." Tom told her. Even though he didn't act drunk his speech was slightly slurred. "Ahh, but Tom he said we were irregular." B'Elanna whined. "That doesn't mean you can pound him into the floor.""Pleeeease, I won't hurt him that bad. I'll just mutilate him a little bit." "Nah, you wouldn't want to do that. I might make a bit of a mess." Harry told her."Don't bet on it starfleet." B'Elanna yelled as Tom pulled her away from Harry and seven. He was going to take her over to talk to Kathryn and Chakotay, but after he saw them he thought it better not to interrupt them. Janeway was pressing Chakotay up against a wall and examining his dental work quite thoroughly (you knew it was gonna happen eventually t.p.t.b. destined it so). Instead he took her onto the beach which seemed to be quite the hot spot tonight (duh, it's a beach party). As the couple walked across the beach hand in hand they came up to two red shirted ensigns laying passed out on the sand with several puncnara glasses scattered around. Tom remembered nights like that before he came aboard Voyager. The thought of the hangover those two would have tomorrow made him cringe. "Tommmmmmy, are ya gonna finish your punc. . whatever it's called. B'Elanna asked him. Her speech was thick and slurred probably from the alcohol like effect of the puncnara (like that took Sherlock Holmes to figure out)."No, I'm not and I don't think you should have anymore either." Tom told her."But, it's a party." She whined to him. Tom made a mental note to try not to get B'Elanna drunk ever again she acted just like a two year old. "B'Elanna you're drunk let's go back to your quarters." He tried to get her out of here before she embarrassed herself."Yeah so what, you're a poopy pants, but in the morning I'll be sober." She retorted then stomped off in the direction of the beach house they had just come from. (I can't take credit for this witty piece of humor it is a spin off of Winston Churchill's reply to a lady who told him he was drunk).Tom raced after B'Elanna as she headed towards the beach house. He didn't realize how fast she could move. When she heard him behind her she broke into a run. Tom tried to run after her but it was like a spring breeze chasing a tornado. When he reached the beach house he was greeted by quite a sight.There was some loud 20th century dance music on and both B'Elanna and Janeway were up on top of the tables dancing. Janeway had discarded the Hawaiian shirt she had been wearing with her bikini top and B'Elanna had discarded the wrap she had been wearing around her waist. Both were dancing as though their lives depended on it. Tom slid into the group of people who had gathered around to watch their senior officers dance on the table tops. He found an opening next to an ex-Maquis named Ensign Merle. Ensign Merle was a Bajorn with a first name that was impossible to pronounce. Every time Tom ran into him he either had to have him re-pronounce his name or he just referred to him as Ensign Merle. "You know that is awfully hard on tables." Merle said in Tom's direction. "Yeah but it will be even harder on them in the morning if they're not so drunk that they forget this happens." Tom replied. "Yeah Lt. Torres is gonna get alotta crap about this tomorrow in engineering." Merle replied. The man was almost three inches shorter than Tom but somehow he seemed to look Tom right in the eyes. Tom had noticed before that Merle seemed to be on the same level as everyone. Tom looked up to Merle. Even though Merle was one of the oldest ensigns on the ship he seemed to be equal to everyone. "You work in engineering?" Tom asked."Yeah, I just got changed from gamma crew to Alpha crew recently so you probably haven't seen me around. On the other hand I have heard a lot about you from Lt. Torres. She talks about you a lot when she stays for the gamma shift to finish something up.""All good things I hope?""Sometimes""Well I probably should go rescue B'Elanna before she embarrasses herself any more than she already has." Tom told him. He would have like to have stayed and talked to Ensign Merle because Merle didn't seem nearly as drunk as the rest of the crew but, he really needed to help B'Elanna. "You probably should" Merle agreed. Paris excused himself and headed over to talk to Commander Chakotay. He was hoping that the commander wouldn't be to drunk to help him save Janeway and Torres from themselves. "Ahh. Lt. Helmboy nice to see you." Chakotay called as Tom neared him. The Commander was obviously very drunk. "Chuckles" Tom replied. He figured that he might as well get the commander back while he was to drunk to remember. "I was thinking that maybe you would be willing to help me save our lovely ladies from completely embarrassing them selves while the night is still young." "Oh but I am quite enjoying Jane of the jungle's rain dance. I think a little rain would be a good thing. The crops are quite dry." Chakotay told him. His speech was thick and slurred. It seemed that it was quite a process for him to put words together to make sentences. After deciding it was useless to try and convince the commander to help him Tom moved back to his spot by ensign Merle. He just hoped that B'Elanna would wear herself out and stop dancing soon. He didn't feel much like wrestling a Klingon off a table, not even a half Klingon. After a particularly wild dance B'Elanna hopped off the table and walked over to Tom as if dancing on tables was something she did on a regular basis. Tom just hoped she was drunk enough to forget this ever happened or she'd be in a really bad mood for the next week if not the next millenium. Tom really didn't want her to scare off to many ensigns, there were already enough people who had transferred over to stellar cartography to avoid her notorious temper."Come on flyboy, you promised we'd do something fun after we made an appearance at this party." B'Elanna called over her shoulder as she headed out of the holodeck door. Tom instantly regretted letting B'Elanna have any alcohol. He did not need the whole crew knowing about his and B'Elanna's life. For the next few hours B'Elanna would answer honestly any question. Klingons don't lie when they are drunk. They say nothing but the truth. B'Elanna leaving the holodeck was probably the most rational thing she had done all night. It would save both of them a lot of embarrassment Tom hoped. B'Elanna stumbled out of the holodeck and towards a turbolift. Her head was spinning and she was seeing spots but she felt great. She'd have to remember to ask Neelix exactly what was in that drink of his. On second thought maybe she didn't want to know. Behind her she heard the doors to the holodeck swish open and then swish shut again. There were hurried footsteps coming close to her, then she felt a hand on her waist. Quickly she spun around and smashed her fist into the strangers jaw. The adrenaline started pumping through her veins. She had to get to engineering and check the warp core. If there were intruders on board they may have messed with the warp core. As she stumbled towards engineering she remembered that if there were intruders on board she should probably notify the bridge.  "Torres to the bridge.""Bridge here.""Bridge we have an intruder on board. I am heading to engineering to check it out. Torres out.""Bridge out."*Tuvok shook his head in an attempt to force the spots out from in front of his eyes. He would have been feeling better than he ever had if it weren't for those stupid spots. Moments ago he had discovered how to achieve true logic. The discovery would bring him total inner piece and satisfaction. While contemplating human behavior Tuvok had discovered that human emotions were the most logical thing that existed. He didn't know how he could have been so blind not to have seen it before. Logic was illogical the pure chaos of human emotion was the truest form of total logic. As soon as he could learn how to exhibit emotion he could finally achieve peace and total logic. Something Vulcan's had been striving for, for centuries. Tuvok was almost ashamed of how foolish his race had been. They had tried to achieve pure logic by suppressing the most logical thing that existed. All he had to do now was prove that he was right. If he could offer proof he would be remembered as the Vulcan that brought what Vulcan's for centuries had been striving for, pure logic. Now he needed some one to test his theory on. He and Ensign Vorick were the only Vulcans on the ship. Vorick didn't seem to be around so that left himself. He would have to use himself to test his theory. Then after it worked on him maybe he could try testing it on Vorick, if he could ever remember where Vorick was. "Captain, a moment of your time please." Tuvok called. He forced his lips to curl and raised his eyebrows slightly in his best imitation of a human smile. Janeway spun around and faced Tuvok. Her short hair was mussed up and her eyes were blood shot. When she saw the attempted smile on Tuvok's face she began to laugh uncontrollably. "Tuvok, what is that you are wearing? It's not a smile is it?" Janeway roared. Displeased by the captains reaction he decided to find someone else to practice his emotions on. Maybe Lt. Paris could help him with his sense of humor. That is if he could find Lt. Paris.* * *The sight that greeted B'Elanna when she entered engineering was one that almost knocked her off her feet. The three night shift ensigns were going about their duties while the warp core flashed every color of the spectrum. Near the base of the warp core was a very alien looking device that was flashing a different alien symbol at regular intervals. The possibilities raced through the chief engineers mind. The alien must have brainwashed the crew then placed the device on the core. But what was the device. A bomb that is all that made sense. B'Elanna didn't know what to do. The crew seemed oblivious to the threat that the little device posed. It the bomb exploded that would set off a chain reaction that in the end would blow the ship into space dust. It seemed to leave her with only one option. . . . . .  eject the warp core. It would be tricky because the alien had most likely reached the bridge and brainwashed the bridge crew. She'd have to do this with out any help if the ship was going to be saved. * * *Tom awoke slowly to the throbbing pain radiating from his jaw. Even completely sloshed  B'Elanna could deliver a nasty right hook. Slowly he sat up and rubbed the left side of his jaw. Luckily it didn't feel broken just very bruised. He should have remembered that even totally sloshed Klingons could deliver a wicked punch.He had to find B'Elanna and fast. Who knows what she might do next in her current state. Where would she go? He couldn't think his head was pounding and he was very dizzy. He wasn't sure whether it was from the puncnara or the nasty bruise quickly forming on the left side of his jaw. Tom got up and headed down the hall. Before he reached the turbolift the growing dizziness over whelmed him he tumbled to the ground and passed out. * * *B'Elanna had to work quickly if she was going to eject the core. "Computer prepare for warp core ejection authorization Torres-alpha-omega-3". Quickly she raced out of engineering. Her head was spinning and she barely made it out the door. She called out for the computer to eject the core but passed out before she could initiate the procedure with her access code. * * *Tom was out cold for almost an hour but nobody found him because everyone else was out cold too. All except for Neelix who sat in the kitchen with a smug look on his face. He couldn't help but think how much he had done to relieve the crew's boredom. They would have a lot to talk about. Probably enough conversation material to last them all the way back to the Alpha Quadrant.When Tom awoke the dizziness and the headache was gone but his jaw still hurt. At first he couldn't remember why then it came back to him. Man, B'Elanna had a wicked right hook. B'Elanna, he was suppose to be finding B'Elanna hopefully she had passed out before she did any serious damage. He headed down to engineering. When he got there he found B'Elanna sitting outside engineering rubbing her temples. The computer kept saying it needed an access code to eject the warp core. "Computer, cancel warp core ejection." Tom called out. "Hey Babe, feeling better?" he asked her. B'Elanna blinked her eyes and stared at Tom as if she didn't know him. Then it seemed to register. "Tom, you promised that we could leave the party and find more entertaining things to do. How about you and me back in my quarters."At first Tom thought that B'Elanna was still drunk but when he saw her smile and the glitter in her eyes he knew she was dead serious. The already long night was about to get longer.   Love it?? Hate it?? Wonder about my sanity?? E-mail is a good thing. Harmony4@worldnet.att.net