Disclaimer: Star Trek belong to Paramount, not me. :( The song "Missing You" belongs to John Waite. Dedication: To all the Ites, and everyone of those talented fanfic authors out there. "I Ain't Missing You" By Krystal Banzon **Everytime I think of you, I always catch my breath. And I'm standin' here, and you're miles away and I'm wonderin' why you left.** "Owen?" A woman's voice asked, as she peeked into a large office. "Yes, Caroline, I know. Andrew told me at the office earlier." Owen Paris repied, knowing exactly what his wife would say. "Well? Are you going to write him? At least tell him that you love him?" Caroline firmly asked her stubborn hushband. Owen Paris stayed silent. He turned his Starfleet swivel chair around, so he wouldn't have to look at his wife. The very image of his rebellious son. "Don't tell me that you won't write him. We thought for years that he was dead. Remember the heartache you went through during that? Remember? Don't even try to say that you don't love him anymore, because you do. I know you do. And you always will. He's your son, Owen. You finally have the chance to tell him that you love him, and you're throwing it away. Write him, Owen. For my sake, your sake, and Tom's." Caroline Paris placed a blank Padd on her husband's desk. Then she silently turned around and left her husband with his thought's and the empty padd. **And there's a storm that's ragin' through my frozen heart tonight.** Owen Paris looked outside his window at Starfleet Intelligence. He heard the door swish shut behind his wife, then turned around to pick up the empty padd. Then with the padd in his hands, he turnedback around to face the stars. He searched the stars, as if looking for his son. Somewhere, in the large universe, he was out there. Alive. He was so glad he was still alive. He loves Tom, he just wasn't sure if he could say it. **I hear your name, in certain circles and it always makes me smile.** Tom Paris sat in the mess hall, thinking. B'Elanna said she would try and get his message through all the interference. Though Tom didn't expect one, deep in his heart, he wanted one so badly. He wanted to know if his father still cared for him. He pretended he didn't care, but he did. Too much for his own good. **I spend my time, thinkin' about you And it's almost drivin' me wild And there's a heart thar's breakin' down this long distance line tonight** Tom looked out the large windows of the mess hall. He looked hard, as if looking for his father, light-years away. He told himself, *Don't get your hopes up, Tom.* **I ain't missing you at all, Missing you Since you were gone Missing you I ain't missing you Missing you No matter what my friends say, Missing you** Owen Paris looked at the empty padd, and started... Dear Tom, Hello, this is your father. So you're a Lieutenant now, congratulations. Though you never finished the Academy... *No,* Owen thought. *Concentrate on the good. He's heard enough bad things, in his life,* He erased the third sentence, and wrote on... So you're a Lieutenant now, congratulations. I'm glad to see that you're still alive... **There's a message, on the wire And I'm sendin' you this signal tonight. You don't know, How desperate I've become, and it looks like i'm losing this fight.** *Dad, please talk to me.* Tom Paris thought. Tom knew he didn't live up to his fathers standards, but he tried. He tried so hard. He just didn't understand... **In your world, I have no meaning So i'm trying hard to understand. And it's my heart that's breakin' down this long distance line tonight** Owen Paris continued writing... I'm glad to see that you're still alive. Your mother was so happy when she heard the news from Voyager. I hope that your life is happy on Voyager. I wanted to let you know... **There's a message that I'm sendin' out, like a telegraph into your soul. And If I can bridge this distance, Atop this heartbreak all along...** "It's alright, Lieutenant. You'll get your letter soon enough." Neelix said, as he walked up to Tom. "No, I won't Neelix. You don't know my Dad. And even if I do get a letter, I probably won't read it anyway. It'll just be a list of my faults. He probably doesn't want to talk to me, and I don't want to talk to him." Tom answered like he didn't care. "I don't believe you." Neelix answered simply, the walked away. Tom sat there and avoided looking at Neelix. He turned his chair and stared at the stars. Little did he know, though light-years away, they were staring at the same star... **I ain't missing you at all Missing you Since you were gone Missing you Away. I ain't missing you Missing you No matter what my friends say** Owen Paris continued... I just wanted to tell you, that your mother misses you deeply. And, for her sake, plus, for what it's worth, I still consider you as my son. If you still consider me as your father. Sincerely, *No, not Sincerely...* he thought. He looked up at the stars in thought, then the stars started to blur, when he looked down at the padd, a tear, a tear of years lost, fell from his eye and onto the padd. He wiped it off, and wrote: Love, Your father, Owen Paris **I ain't missing you. I ain't missing you. I can lie to myself. And there's a storm that's ragin' through my frozen heart tonight I ain't missing you...** Owen Paris pressed the button to send it to Starfleet Command. From there they would forward it to the only ship in the Delta Quadrant. The Starship Voyager, the ship his only son was on. Caroline Paris walked in, just in time to see her husband press the "Send" button. He looked at her hushband through teary eyes and said, "Thank You." **I ain't missing you at all Missing you Since you were gone Missing you Away. I ain't missing you Missing you No matter what my friends say I ain't missing you...** "Tom!" B'Elanna yelled, as she walked into the mess hall. "I got it, I got your letter." she said as she looked him in the eyes. At that moment she saw the real Tom Paris. The Tom who desperately wanted to hear from his father. The Tom who put his hopes up for this moment. Tom stood up, she handed the padd to him. "Thanks." he said, he set the padd down, then resumed looking out the window. "Tom, read it." B'Elanna said firmly. "Later, B'Elanna." "If not now, then never." B'Elanna pleaded. "Then never." Tom said coldly. "Tom, don't tell me you don't care what he wrote to you. Read it. Maybe he changed his mind. Please." "You don't know my father..." "You're right, I don't. But you won't know him either until you read it." Tom hesitantly picked up the padd, and pressed the button to show the text contained inside. Dear Tom, Hello, this is your Father. So, you're a Lieutenant now, congratutions. I'm glad to see that you're still alive. Your mother was so happy when she heard the news from Voyager. I hope your life is happry on Voyager. I wanted to let you know...I just wanted to tell you your mother misses you deeply. And for her sake, plus for what it's worth, I still consider you as my son. If you still consider me as your father. Love, Your Father, Owen Paris **I ain't missing you, I can lie to myself. I ain't missing you...** **I ain't missing you No matter what my friends say...** "Thank You for reading it, Tom." B'Elanna said smiling as she walked out of the mess hall. Tom sat there, staring at the letter. A tear ran down his cheek, and fell onto the padd. As he wiped it away, he said, "I miss you too, Dad." Copyright 4/6/98 Krystal Banzon Feedback can be sent to StartreX@Webtv.net Can be archived anywhere just tell me first! :)