"After the Hunt" By Wendee Borchardt Prologue Tom Paris "Daddy, it's for you." He was only five years old, but he stood tall and proud in front of his bigger-than-life father and held up the drawing he'd poured his heart into. As he stood there waiting, his father sat at his desk keying a PADD with a deep frown. The light shining through the window wasn't even enough to warm the chilly aura that filled the room. "Daddy, I drew it," the little boy smiled. "See, there's you and me and mom my on the shuttle flying to Mars. It's for you." Still he waited, stepping a bit closer to the desk with the original artwork stretched out in front of him as far as his little arms would allow, but his father didn't acknowledge him. He just sat at his desk looking irritated. "Aren't you gonna look at it? It took me a long time to draw and I made it just for you. You can put it in your ready room on your ship so your officers can-" "Thomas!" finally, the elder man let on that he was aware the boy was alive. The only problem was, he wasn't happy about it. "I don't have time to look at your picture!" The admiral stood and towered over his son, giving him a familiar disapproving look. Little Tom lowered his picture and backed away, feeling genuine fear. "But I wanted you to have it," Tommy whispered, looking at the floor. "Thomas, look at me when you speak and don't slouch! I'll have no son of mine behaving in such an inappropriate manner! Give me this," with a quick swipe, the admiral grabbed the drawing from his son's small hands. He didn't even look at it before he tore it in half and then in half again. Ignoring his son's brimming tears, the drawing fell from his hands and scattered on the floor. "Pick that up and get to your room. You can go without dinner for one night, and don't forget to work on the physics assignment I gave you." "But, I was going to see the Zephram Cochrane statue later-" "Get to your room now and stay there until school tomorrow!" Tommy didn't stop the tears from falling down his pale cheeks as he sped from his father's office. Once he was safely through the doors of his bedroom, he flung himself onto the bed and cried into his pillow. All he wanted was for his father to be proud of him. Why didn't his daddy love him? Part 1 B'Elanna Torres Sitting in her dark and quiet quarters, B'Elanna Torres allowed the tears to fall freely down her face. It had been so long since she'd cried that it was almost a painful experience. Why had this day gone from one of joy and excitement to one of disappointment, pain and loss? Most of her friends were dead. Chakotay had received the message that the Maquis had been annihilated the Cardassians and their allies. In one fell swoop she'd lost the only reason she'd had to return to the alpha quadrant. Then, she'd been stuck in astrometrics to finish the job Seven had started. So, she'd downloaded personal message after personal message, watching the words of distant loved ones scroll past and paying no attention. Then, for some reason, her eyes had focused and she'd seen a familiar name staring back at her. She'd actually smiled when she had realized that it was a mess age for Tom Paris. Without thinking she called the captain and asked if Tom could join her. A few moments later, Tom had arrived looking curious and a bit wary. When she told him he was getting a message, she'd expected him to be excited, but instead, he reacted like he didn't care. B'Elanna had been enraged. How dare he just shrug it off like it were a conn report and not someone reaching out from across the galaxy to communicate with him. The fact that the letter was from his father only fueled her anger. Then, for a moment, she'd let her guard down and revealed her pain to him. Deep down, B'Elanna had known that he'd be supportive and understanding, and she was right. He comforted her and put aside his own pain, and she'd allowed him to leave without further argument. All she could do was download the letter and give it to him later. The files came in a steady stream of jumbled words, but as she stood at the computer, a smile spread across her face when she realized that a large amount of text was from Owen Paris. That moment had been the only positive point of her day, and she wanted nothing more than to put a smile on the face of the man she loved. But, as the words scrolled across the screen, her smile had faded, her heart had constricted, and a sick feeling tied her stomach in a knot. ***** Thomas, I don't know what's worse, thinking that you're dead or knowing that your across the galaxy where you can make brand new mistakes. I don't know what to say except I thought Kathryn Janeway had better judgment. When we heard that you were missing with Voyager, your mother shut down. Your sisters tried to bring her out of the mindless trance you put her in, but she's lost to the world now. Not even knowing that you're alive was enough to bring her out of it, and you've ruined yet another life. I hope your satisfied. The news is you broke the warp 10 threshold. I'd say that it was quite an accomplishment if I didn't know that all you had to do was pilot the ship. How much of the actual work did you put into this achievement? Pushing a button does not make you a hero. Well, Lieutenant, I don't know who you're trying to impress, but I'm certainly anything but. A field commission and a second chance to destroy lives does not make you my son again. Your sisters- ***** Unable to take anymore, B'Elanna turned away and shut her eyes, trying to block the words from her mind. Tom had been right about his father. How could anyone be so selfish and cold-hearted to his own son? How could a father not be happy to know that his son was alive? "I'm so sorry, Tom," she whispered to the empty room. "I'm so sorry." ---------- Tom had invited her to Neelix's party, but she'd declined. He had said he understood her need to be alone and went with Harry, leaving her to her thoughts. Those thoughts turned to one night not so long ago when Tom had fallen asleep on her couch... She'd let him sleep, knowing he was burnt out after pulling long hours on the bridge and in sickbay. As she had sat in her chair going over some engine specs, he had started to mumble in his sleep. That mumbling turned to mournful cries, and as tears had begun to fall in his fitful sleep, B'Elanna had gone to him to wake him. He'd jerked awake with a start. "It's okay, Tom," B'Elanna whispered, stroking his hair gently off of his face and wiping the tears from his cheeks. He'd seemed embarrassed, but let out a breath of air and gave her a smile. "I'm sorry," he apologized, taking her hands in his. "It was just a dream." "Do you want to tell me about it?" Tom had gone silent, looking at her fingers to avoid answering. She didn't want to let it go, so B'Elanna made him look her in the face. That's when he'd told her about the dream he sometimes had. He was five years old and trying to give his father a drawing, but he wouldn't take it. Tom's father had exploded in an angry rage at how pathetic his son was, and Tom ran to cry, alone in his room. "Did that really happen?" B'Elanna had asked with concern. He could only nod as his throat constricted. "I'm so sorry." "What do you have to apologize for? You've never treated me like I was worthless and didn't deserve your love," he released her from his grip and stood, crossing to the replicator. "Listen, I don't really want to talk about this. Can I get you something?" "Tom," B'Elanna didn't want to let it go. It was obviously something that was hurting him and she wanted to try and help him through it. "I would never treat you like that, and I don't want to try and justify what your father did, but maybe he's changed now that he thinks you're gone forever. Maybe he regrets what he did to you when you were a child." Tom laughed, but it was harsh and bitter, totally devoid of humor. His bright eyes reflected how much he wanted to believe her, but his heart and his head knew that it would never be true. "Thank you for trying, but my father will never change. I really don't want to talk about this any more." Tom smiled and kissed her on the forehead. "Now, how about a little dinner..." Part 2 Tom Paris It was well into the early hours of the morning and Neelix's party had been over for some time, but it had gone over well with the crew. After the brief contact with loved ones, losing them again was hard, but Janeway had toasted to the comforting thought that Starfleet and the alpha quadrant knew the crew of Voyager was alive. The Resort, which had been the site of the party, was devoid of life save for one person. Tom Paris was sitting alone, stretched out on a patio chair with his hands folded comfortably behind his head. The usual sunshine of the program had been replaced with the twinkling constellations and stars that were visible from Earth. Earth. Why, of all places, would he want to be thinking about Earth? The planet of his birth had been a source of pain since Tom had been born. And yet, here he was, picturing the distant world and the people on it. The people who were celebrating because the fate of the Voyager crew was no longer a mystery. But they weren't all celebrating. B'Elanna, gods how he loved her. She'd cared so much for him that she had tried to shield him from the pain that awaited him in the letter from his father. At first, for maybe thirty seconds, he'd been angry at her for lying, but he'd gotten past that when he realized her reasons. On a day when so many people were supposed to receive a happy reminder of what they'd lost, there had been so much disappointment, and B'Elanna hadn't wanted to contribute to it any more. Unfortunately, by some accident, she had failed to purge the system of the letter that had come from Admiral Owen Paris. She'd tried, but the through work of Seven, who had declined to come to the party in order to work in astrometrics, had uncovered the letter buried deep in the system. Seven didn't read the letter, but had summoned Tom to the lab and presented him with it... --------- "Lieutenant, I found this in the data files we recovered from the relay station. It appears that someone was deliberately trying to hide it." "What is it?" Tom asked as Seven handed him the PADD she proffered. She didn't answer him, but watched him carefully as Tom ran his eyes over the words. He only had to read the first two lines before he knew, with a knot tying in his stomach, exactly what it was. "If you will excuse me, Lieutenant Paris," Seven said without emotion, "I have to return to work." "This is the letter," Tom whispered in amazement. "The letter from my father." "Congratulations, Mr. Paris," Seven offered without turning or stopping her work. "You must be very happy." "But you don't understand, B'Elanna told me the letter-" he cut himself off when he realized that Seven wasn't listening. Turning, he left astrometrics for his own quarters. Once he arrived, he walked in and sat down on the couch with the letter held tightly in his hand. There were so many conflicting emotions churning throughout him that he wanted to scream. Why had B'Elanna lied to him? With a slightly shaking hand, Tom lifted the PADD to his face and read the first word: *Thomas.* Thomas, that was what the admiral called him when he was angry. This wasn't off to a good start. ***** I don't know what's worse, thinking that you're dead or knowing that your across the galaxy where you can make brand new mistakes. I don't know what to say except I thought Kathryn Janeway had better judgment. ***** Swallowing, Tom let his hand and the PADD drop to the cushions of the couch as he closed his eyes and lowered his head. Nothing had changed. His father would never be proud of any accomplishment he ever made, and nothing would ever be right between them. No wonder B'Elanna had hidden it from him. "Tom, are you okay?" With a start, Tom lifted his head at the sound of Harry Kim's voice. He hadn't heard the door chime, but of course, his mind had been elsewhere. With a sigh, he stood and called for Harry to come in. "Tom, I've got to read some of this letter to you. You will not believe what has been going on with my family since-" Harry, who had come to the quarters of his best friend feeling better about life than he had in a while, stopped short when he saw the grief in the expression of Tom Paris. "So, what's the good word?" Tom asked, trying to sound cheerful but failing. "Tom," Harry said as he stepped forward, "what's wrong? What happened?" "Nothing's wrong, Harry," Tom shrugged as he crossed to his replicator. That's when Harry noticed the PADD his friend had clutched in a white- knuckled grasp. "Did you get a letter?" With his back to Harry, Tom let a wince cloud his features and the tears he'd been fighting since he was a child threatened him once again. He wouldn't let them come, though, and he won the battle to hide his emotions. "Yeah, you could say that. It's nothing important though." With one swift gesture, Tom placed the PADD on the replicator and hit a button. The device disappeared in a shower of sparks. It left him feeling marginally better, but the pain was still like an open wound. "Come on, Harry," Tom said as he turned and forced a cheerful smile onto his face. "Let's go to the party." Part 3 Tom and B'Elanna "The computer told me I'd find you here," cracking open one eye, Tom Paris looked up from his seat on a patio chair as he sat under the stars in the Resort. B'Elanna was standing over him with a ghost of a smile on her face and a sparkle in her soft, brown eyes. Tom closed his eye and smiled back, stretching his hand out to her and beckoning her to join him on the chair. B'Elanna took his hand and made herself comfortable on the lounge with him, feeling safe and loved as he wrapped his arms around her. She laid her head back against his chest and nearly fell asleep as the rhythm of his chest rising and falling relaxed her. But before she slipped into the dream world, Tom kissed the top of her head and spoke two words that seemed so out of place, she was silent for a moment trying to decide if she'd heard right. "What did you say?" B'Elanna asked, craning her neck to look up in his face. "I said I'm sorry." "Sorry," she frowned, not understanding. "Why? What for?" "For your loss," he said with deep sincerity. His blue eyes were focused on her face and didn't waver, like he was afraid that if he looked away, she'd be gone when he looked back. "I know what it's like to lose people your close to, and I just wish I could make things better." "Oh, Tom," B'Elanna breathed as she struggled not to cry again. One of her delicate hands stroked his warm cheek, and Tom brought up his own hand to hold hers. "You have made things better. I'd be a lot worse if I didn't have your strength right now. If I didn't have you then I would have lost my entire universe today." Tom nodded, kissing the palm of her hand and then putting her hand over his heart. "I have lost my entire universe before, and I found it again when I came to the delta quadrant and met you." "It's funny, though," B'Elanna said, searching Tom's face for the answer. "What's funny?" "I don't really know how I could mean so much to one person. How I could possibly be the difference between a life devoid of hope and a life worth living." "Oh, B'Elanna," it was Tom's turn to struggle with his emotional control as he closed his eyes and dropped his head back against the chair. After a moment, he opened his eyes and looked at her, and a smile once again lit up his angelic features. "How could I really mean so much to you?" B'Elanna's eyes went round and she quickly brought her lips to his in a sudden and passionate kiss. A few seconds later, she pulled away and smiled. "Gods, Tom, you have shown me love for the first time in my life. You make me feel beautiful and important, you make me feel like I have something to live for. Not to mention the fact that for the first time since this impromptu journey began, you make me want to get out of engineering and enjoy my off time. You make me- " Suddenly, as she watched Tom nodding his head, B'Elanna knew how important she was to him. It wasn't so funny after all, but it was a good feeling. No, it was a great feeling. "I love you, Tom," B'Elanna breathed as she forgot about the Maquis and about her past. All that mattered was now. And now, she had the arms of the man she loved wrapped around her. "I love you, B'Elanna," Tom returned as he forgot about his father and about his past. All that mattered was now. And now, he held the woman he loved with all of his heart and soul in his arms. Tom and B'Elanna's lips met once again, but in a soft and tender kiss filled with promise. They would never be alone again, and they would always be loved, no matter what was happening a galaxy away. That's all. Comments are always welcome!