Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek: Voyager and all pertaining: Blood Fever, B'Elanna, Vorik, Janeway, etc etc. I don't.

I returned to duty the day after my pon farr ended the same as usual. However, I did not expect that all would remain the same my relationship with Lieutenant Torres would be changed exceedingly due to the events of the past two days. It was. No longer did she.. tease me, about being what she called "uptight", but instead acted as though she did not know quite who I was. It was not entirely logical, but after these past years working under her I have come to expect that from her, and found that her impulsive methods are usually effective. However, on this occasion the only effect her attitude had was to... confuse me.

I have always respected the lieutenant, and perhaps loved her I do not know quite how to phrase my emotions, as, I am sure, a human would not be able to, for they do not fully understand a Vulcan's emotions as they exist within us. I had thought she had thought of me as more of a colleague perhaps a friend, even. Surely she must understand that I was not acting as myself, as therefore she has no reason to change her attitude toward me this significantly. Of course it could be a little awkward, but I have noticed that since she turned down my proposal she has not directed any even vaguely friendly words to me at all, only orders, and these she says in a tone of voice that is... different to the one she uses with other people. She does not even speak to me as she does to an enemy, as if I am not worth even that much of her attention.

I admit to myself only that I miss her previous attentions, even if they were only comments made to a colleague one must work with every day. I am merely satisfied now that I may still watch her while I am working, and observe the qualities that make her who she is. It is strange that she does not realise how worthy of respect she is, istead thinking that she does not deserve the position on the senior staff that Captain Janeway has given her. Surely she must see that she has well proven her worth to us on this journey home, and that without her expertise and genius we could not have survived thus far? My only hope is that someday she will.


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