Whose Save Is It, Anyway?
by Sonneta

crossover: "Whose Line is it, Anyway?" (American version)
spoilers: I'm considering everything in both shows fair game. This  takes place in what would be EE's 5th season.
rating:PG-ish

DISCLAIMER:Early Edition and its characters belong to CBS and Tristar. Whose Line... belongs to ABC and Hat Trick. Lyrics within are copyrighted by R.E.M./Athens Ltd., except for "Superman" which is by the Clique.  Please, don't sue. It really wouldn't be worth the effort!

SPECIAL THANKS: Cindy H., for suggesting "The Palace." (and saving me a lot of work!)

this story is for Louise and Sarah, because they specially requested a copy. :) (I love you guys!)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Whose Save Is It, Anyway?
by Sonneta

PROLOGUE

"Hello, my friend, are you visible today?
Y'know, I never knew that it could be so strange (strange.)"
~R.E.M., "Pop Song 89."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The day started normally.

Well, as normally as a day could start for a guy who got tomorrow's newspaper today.

There was the meowing of that same striped cat, along with the "thump" of a newspaper.

"Good morning, Chica---" SLAP. Gary pummeled his alarm clock before the announcer could continue.

"6:30 already?" Gary grumbled, trying to ignore the cat and go back to sleep.  But, another meow got Gary out of bed and to the door.

"Hey, Cat, when's my vacation?" Gary asked the orange tabby in question as it scampered into the loft.

It was not until after he had poured milk for Cat and coffee for himself that Gary had a chance to look at the paper.

"LOS ANGELES TIMES" it read across the top.

"Oh... great," Gary sighed

Maybe it wasn't going to be a "normal" day after all.
**********************************************************************

ACT 1

"Nations call.
Par- parallels.
Neighbors call.
All in all in all in all in all."
~R.E.M., "Romance."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"...So, basically Marissa, I have to go to Hollywood and save five actors from being killed," Gary explained.  The two friends were sitting together in the office at McGinty's.

"Why don't you call Chuck?" Marissa advised.

"Chuck?  Now, why would I want to get him involved? He's probably busy."

"Well, Gary, Chuck has a better knowledge of the area than you do. He can get you wherever you need to go," Marissa pointed out sagely. "Besides which, it sounds like you could use some help on this one."

Gary had to admit that Marissa had a point.  She usually gave him great advice. "Yeah.  You're right," he conceded.  "I guess that means I should call Chuck.  AND make last-minute travel arrangements."

He had a thought as he walked to the phone. "Could you handle the bar alone today?"  In truth, this was mere formality.  It wasn't like Gary wouldn't go save lives if Marissa said no.

Marissa smiled at Gary's gentle question. "Gary.  What do you think I do *every* day?"

Gary tried to respond to that, but could come up with no fitting retort.  Instead he picked up the phone and dialed Chuck.

"Hey, Chuck?.... It's me, Gary....... Yeah, great to hear from you, too, buddy.  Listen, I've got a favor to ask...."

**********************************************************************

ACT 2

"I remember traffic jams,
motor boys and girls with tans,
nearly-was and almost-rans,
I remember this."
~R.E.M., "I Remember California"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chuck met Gary at the airport.

"Chuck, I really appreciate this," Gary told his best friend.

"Hey, what are best buds for?  It's great you finally got a chance to come see me," Chuck grinned. "Besides which, I needed a day off."

Gary stared quizzically at Chuck as they both climed in Chuck's sporty red convertible.

Chuck finally noticed Gary's stare as he went to start the car.

"What?" he asked.

"Hmmm?" Gary was shaken from his thoughts.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Oh, it's nothing," Gary shook his head. "I'm just surprised you're so willing to go along with this.  I didn't think you liked dealing with the paper."

"Well, it has its advantages," Chuck replied.  "After all, that is how I got my cheerleader movies."

Both men grinned.

"So, what's so important you had to come all the way to Hollywood?" Chuck questioned.

Gary got out his newspaper and showed Chuck the front page. "Five actors from a popular T.V. show are going to be shot later today."

"What's the plan?"

"Well, I suppose I should go to the police," Gary grimmaced.  His experiences with the police in Chicago had never been great.  He was usually written off as a freak/psychic-wannabe-- when he wasn't suspected of being the culprit. "I'm not sure it will work, but I should at least try."

"Ok, the police station it is," Chuck agreed, driving his car in that direction.

**********************************************************************

ACT 3

"If you believe there's nothin' up his sleeve,
then nothin' is cool."
~R.E.M., "Man on the Moon."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gary had worked out what he thought to be a reasonable story on his way to the police station.

He was sent in to see one Detective Daniel Lockerbie.

"Come in, Mr...?" the Detective searched through his notes.

"Hobson.  Gary Hobson.  Call me Gary."

"Alright, Gary.  You have a crime to report?"

"I was at the airport, and I heard these two guys talking.  They were threatening to kill the cast of 'Whose Line is it, Anyway?'."

"The popular T.V. show?" Det. Lockerbie asked. Gary nodded. "And you believe that these threats were serious?"

"Well...yeah.  They sounded like they meant it."

Det. Lockerbie frowned.  He could see that the man was really worried... but there didn't seem to be enough evidence to point to anything serious.

"You're not from around here, are you, Gary?"

It was then Gary realised he was fighting a losing battle. "Well, no, but..."

"Look, Gary, actors in Hollywood get death threats all the time," the detective explained. "These two fellows you heard probably weren't serious.  Maybe they just don't like this T.V. show, and so they were joking around about killing the actors."

*I should have known,* Gary thought. *All cops are the same.*

"Listen, couldn't you just drop by the studio later?" he wrote down the address. "I'm really worried these guys were serious."

"We're pretty busy around here...." Det. Lockerbie changed direction at the look on Gary's face. "But I'll see what I can do."

"Yeah.  Thanks," Gary flatly stated, unable to keep a hint of sarcasm out of his voice.

Gary was not surprised to find the article unchanged as he climbed back into Chuck's car.

"So, how'd it go?" Chuck asked.

"How do you think it went," Gary retorted, exasperated.  He hadn't meant to snap at his friend, but he felt frustrated. "Sorry.  I'm a little angry.  It looks like we're on our own."

"Hey, sorry it didn't work out, bud."

"Yeah, I guess by now I should be used to it.  Let's get over to the studio."

As Chuck drove, he tried to come up with a way to cheer Gary up.  Then he remembered his surprise.

"Hey, Gar?"

"Yeah?"

"How'd you like to come see R.E.M. with me tonight?"Chuck asked.

It was worth it when Gary's face lit up.  "R.E.M.? Really?"

"Yep.  They're playing The Palace tonight, and it just so happens I have an extra ticket.  I was going to go with Jade, but her sister's in town so they're going to see some play," Chuck explained.

"Alright.  This'll be great!  As long as we're done in time," Gary amended.

"Hey, no worries.  The concert doesn't start 'til 11 pm anyway.  We'll have plenty of time," Chuck smiled at the almost giddy look on Gary's face. *I knew that extra ticket would come in handy,* he thought.

**********************************************************************

ACT 4

DREW CAREY:... Africa, it's a country over there in the middle of the
world, off the coast of Madagascar.

GREG PROOPS: It's also a CONTINENT, if you're a geographer!

~from "Whose Line is it, Anyway?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, Captain Hair!" Drew greeted Colin as he entered the studio where the rest of the cast was already assembled.

"Gee, Drew, so nice of you to show up," Greg smirked sardonically.  "I thought maybe you'd moved to a different country--
like *Africa.*"

Colin gave Greg a high five for that retort.  Drew just shot Greg a withering glare.

"Kids, kids," Ryan chided good-naturedly, "No fighting... off-camera." He added a half-smile to the last two words.

"Hey, Drew, do we have to hoedown today?" Wayne queried. Everyone rolled their eyes at that thought.

"Huh, I dunno.  Maybe it depends on how much you all insult me,"  Drew threatened.

"That'd be a 'yes'," Wayne translated.

Everyone burst into laughter.
-----------------------------
Meanwhile, in an alley nearby, two brothers were having a discussion.

"Marcos, I'm not so sure about this," said a small, skinny teenager.

"C'mon, Ray," Marcos prodded.  "It'll be easy.  We point the guns at them, they give us money."

"They're pretty well-known, Marc," argued Ray, who was starting to shake a little.

"Yeah?  That means they're rich," Marcos grinned, showing his yellowing teeth.

"It could also mean big trouble."

"Raymond, listen, little bro, it's gonna be OK.  We've got masks.  They'll never catch us," Marcos put an arm around his younger brother. "You want the money, don't ya?"

"Yeah....Ok," Ray finally agreed.

**********************************************************************

ACT 5

"I love wearing pants that are very tight,
I wear them in the day and I wear them in the night,
Sure, sometimes it cuts off my circulation,
But I...<faints>"
~Colin Mochrie, "The Tight Trousers Hoedown".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcos and Ray crept into the studio just before Gary and Chuck arrived.

"Come ON, Chuck, we gotta hurry," Gary called.  Traffic had slowed the pair down more than Gary had planned on.  Once again, he was rushing to make the save.

Ray was startled by the opening studio doors.

"You two! Over here! Hands up!" Marcos barked, directing them with his gun to the wall that the cast was standing against.

Gary and Chuck complied with his orders. *Oh, great. What now?* Gary thought. "You guys OK?" he whispered to the actors.

"Yeah, fine. How'd you two end up here?" Ryan whispered back.

"No talking!" Marcos yelled.

Then, Ray's mask fell off.

"Ray!  You've blown it!  You must not have tied the string tight enough!" Marcos grumbled. "Now we'll have to kill them."

"No! No, don't do anything rash," Gary advised, trying to keep his voice calm.

"Marcos, you didn't say nothin' about killin' no one," Ray argued.

"Well, you don't wanna get caught, do you?" Marcos questioned.

"Ray. May I call you Ray?  Put the gun down," Gary spoke evenly.  "You don't wanna kill these people, do ya?" He gestured to Drew, Ryan, Colin, Wayne, and Chuck.  "You wanna spend a lifetime in jail?"

"No," Ray replied. "No.  Marc, no, I won't do it."  Gary stepped forward and took Ray's gun from him.  Ray walked up to his older brother.  "And if you're smart, brother, neither will you."

But Marcos kept his gun trained on the hostages.  "I have to," he said, his voice becoming shaky.

Just then, Colin fainted.

Marcos gasped in surprise and let go of his hold on the gun.  Ray expertly caught it before it hit the floor, and passed it to Gary.

They could all hear the sirens coming toward them.
------

"Colin?" Gary called as the police were arresting Ray and Marcos.  "Are you OK?"

"What?" Colin asked as he got to his feet.  He saw the worried look on Gary's face.  "Oh, you thought I *really* fainted." He chuckled.

"Wait a minute... you faked that?" Chuck asked the taller balding man.

"You haven't seen the show, have you?" Greg asked, smiling.

"He does that all the time," Ryan explained.  "Pretending to faint..."

"Or have a heart attack," added Wayne.

"Or pretty much anything else he can think of to get out of having to sing," Ryan grinned.  "It's kind of a running gag."

"I believe the fans have dubbed it, 'pulling a Colin'," Drew put in.

"Well, it gets me out of having to think up a rhyme," Colin defended.

"Wow," Gary replied.  "Well, this time, it may have saved all our lives."

Everyone smiled greatfully at Colin.

"Thanks buddy," Ryan said, shaking Colin's hand.

"Yeah, Col, that was great," Greg added.

"Good thinking," Wayne remarked.

"Ok, no bald jokes tonight," Drew chuckled.  "You deserve it."

"Hey, it was no big deal," Colin waved his hand, a little embarrased.  "I just did the only thing I could think of."

"I guess you really are a good improv... um.... performer," Chuck complimented Colin.

"Hey, you guys," Wayne said, breaking the tension in the room, "we've just been through something big here.  how about sticking around a while?"

"Yeah, and you could watch the show tonight?" Ryan added.

Chuck and Gary conferred for a moment.  The concert wouldn't start for several hours, and Gary didn't see anything else to take care of in the paper, so....

"Sure," Gary smiled. "We'd be glad to."

"Hey, we don't even know you guys' names," Drew complained.

The group made their introductions.  Detective Daniel Lockerbie walked over to where they were standing.

"I need all of you to give a short statement, please," he said.  Gary turned towards him at the familliar sound of his voice. "You!" the detective cried, looking at Gary. "You're the one who knew about this, aren't you?"

"Y-yees, sir," Gary stuttered.  He hoped he wasn't about to be suspected.

But the detective simply shook his head.  "I'm sorry, Gary.  I should have followed up on your advice."

"That's OK, sir.  I understand," Gary stated.

**********************************************************************
Act 6

"I am, (I am) I am Superman
and I know what's happening.
I am, (I am) I am Superman
and I can do anything."
~R.E.M., "Superman" (originally by The Clique)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"....so, then, Ryan kisses me full on," Colin finished.  "On the lips."

"Well, what was I supposed to do?" queried Ryan. "You had built up this big 'shocking, but funny' thing I was supposed to do.... it was all I could think of."

Everyone laughed.

"I'll have to try and catch that one in reruns," Gary chuckled.

"Would you kiss me like that?" Chuck deadpanned.

"No!" Gary immediately shouted.  He turned a corner of his mouth up. "Unless, of course, Drew offered me a billion points."

Another burst of laughter washed over the group.
-----
"Great show, you guys," Gary complimented the five actors after the show.

"Yeah.  I practically fell out of my seat, I was laughing so hard," Chuck added.

"Hey, it's all fun," Drew replied.

"Woah. We better get going, Gar," Chuck said as he looked as his watch.

"Big plans tonight?" Greg asked.

"Yeah, Chuck and I are going to see R.E.M. in concert," Gary smiled.

"Oh, over at The Palace, right?" Wayne asked. "That should be a good concert."

"Have fun, you guys," Ryan called.

"Hey, anytime you want, call us up, we'll get you tickets to the show," Drew promised.

"Yeah, thanks," Chuck smiled.  "That'd be great."

"So long, guys," Colin waved.

"Let's go," Chuck stated.  He and Gary excited amidst a chorus of good-byes.

"That was fun," Gary grinned.  "I'll have to start taping the show."

"Yeah, those guys are great," Chuck agreed.
-----
Later, Chuck and Gary stood among a large crowd, waiting for R.E.M. to begin their next song.

"Wow," Gary said.  "Today has been great.  Whose Line and R.E.M? I never get days like this!"

"Well, neither do I," Chuck replied.  "Maybe you should come to Hollywood more often."

"I'd love to," Gary agreed. "But I doubt the paper would like that."

"Yeah, yeah, Ok.  Still, it's been fun."

"Yep," Gary was practically glowing.

Michael Stipe came to the microphone.  The crowd cheered loudly.  "We've received a special request.  This next song is for
Chuck and Gary.  Apparently they know why."  The band broke out into their cover of "Superman."

Gary and Chuck stared at each other for a moment before it clicked.

"The Whose Line cast!" The laughed together.
------

"So, let me get this straight," Marissa stated.  "You saved the actors, got to hang out with them, saw them perform..."

"Had Wayne sing to me," Gary interjected.

"...And got to see R.E.M.?  Sounds like you had a good day."

"Yeah.  It was great," Gary grinned.

"Well, I'm glad.  You deserved it," Marissa replied.

"Have you tried the new snacks I bought?"

"No, not yet."

Gary handed Marissa a few out of a bowl on the bar.  She practically gagged at the taste.

"Gary, what are these?" she grimmaced.

"Twiglets.  Greg recommended them," Gary defended.  "They're from England."

"You aren't planning on-- *serving* these-- are you?" Marissa asked.

"Well, of course I was, Marissa!  They're great!"

"Well... I just don't know if the customers will like them."

"Come on.  Can't we just give the Twiglets a try?" Gary begged.

"OK, ok,"Marissa conceded.

THE END.
**********************************************************************
I have no idea who owns Twiglets. :)

Email the author: gala618@hotmail.com
 
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