Written in response to the "newbie challenge"
Feedback: Please? It's my first EE story, and I need all flavors of feedback. Just be gentle, 'K?
DISCLAIMER: EE and characters don't belong to me, they belong to Tristar, CBS, etc. No infringement intended-- Besides, you'd have to fight the college I'm going to for the money!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Make Me Laugh
Gary sighed. It had been a long, hard day already- and it was barely
lunch time. He was glad that he had brought his umbrella
along. The paper had correctly predicted rainfall for the day.
A growling sound came from Gary's stomach. *Maybe I should have eaten breakfast* he thought, but then he realized that there had been no time between the traffic accidents he had prevented that morning. Then, Gary remembered there was still a packet of jelly beans in his coat pocket from the day before. He had saved a small grey tabby cat from being run over by a passing car. The small girl who owned the cat had insisted on giving Gary her jellybeans in return. Gary reflected that it had been nice for someone to actually appreciate his actions for once.
Munching the jelly beans, Gary scanned the paper. A headline on page three caught his attention. "Comic in coma"-- he would have to hurry to catch this one.
Gary entered the run-down theatre out of breath. He had run the several blocks to the theatre, assuming correctly that his feet would be faster than the noon traffic. The comic onstage had on a bad blazer, and an even worse hairpiece.
"So, this violin player walks into a bar..." he started.
"STOP!" Gary yelled, running up on stage. "Stop right there!"
The perturbed comic covered the microphone. "Hey, buddy, what do you think you're doin'? You wanna ruin my act, or somethin'?" He asked.
"No, I'm just saying... if you tell this joke, people might be offended," Gary replied.
"Oh, really, buster?" The comic seemed even more irate. "Who do you think you are, telling me what jokes I can tell?"
"Well, what I mean is..."
"Look, mister, this is AMERICA. We have this thing called FREE SPEECH. I can say whatever I wanna say." The man attempted to shoo Gary away.
But Gary could not let the comic put himself in danger. "Hey, listen,
you wanna get pummeled, fine. But, see that couple over
there?" Gary pointed to a petite young woman and her large, hulk of a boyfriend. The comic nodded. "She's a violin player. He would definitely take offense at your joke, and then... well, you'd need medical attention," Gary summed up.
The comic looked incredulously at Gary, but realised that he wasn't lying. He looked carefully back at the boyfriend, and visibly paled. "OOOOOOh... um..." he cleared his throat. "Ok."
Convinced the man had taken the hint, Gary left the stage. He looked at the paper, relieved to find a harmless article on a business in its place.
"So, this.... um... uh... priest walks into a bar..."
Gary walked out to his next rescue.
Email the author: Sonneta