Green is the Color of Envy

by Zahra
http://www.obsessedmuch.net/dysfunctional


Smallville is so green in the springtime that Lana forgets that other seasons even exist. The crops are ripe, the trees have their new leaves and the grass shines like an emerald mirror. Lana thinks it's a bit like visiting the Wizard of Oz. Of course, she also feels the same way in the fall, when the leaves are golden and the sky is bright and Clark brings over the reddest apples she's ever seen.

It's a funny twist on Snow White because Lana's spent enough time around Clark this past year to know he would never poison her.

Lana's spent enough time around Clark to know that he would do anything to protect her. Clark wants her, a lot, he could be her Prince Charming - once he gets over the shy, gawky thing. Not that Lana's really that surprised, she knows how the fairy tale goes. She knows the rules and the characters and how everyone is supposed to act.

Everyone loves the princess, and Lana has always been the princess. She's never thought of herself as anyone's wicked stepsister. She's never thought she would have any reason to be jealous of Chloe Sullivan, but then again Lana never thought Chloe and Clark would be going to the Spring Formal together, either.

Princesses don't think about the people they rule.

Lana doesn't remember any princesses wearing green, either; and maybe that's why she's wearing red today. Today, when she's in Whitney's red truck and they're heading down Route 90 to the bus station.

If Lana listened to convention, she would probably be wearing black; she's supposed to be in mourning for Whitney's leaving. At least that's how she thinks is supposed to go, but she wore so much black after Whitney's dad died that she just couldn't do it anymore.

It was so depressing. All that black was so confining. She doesn't know how Lex does it, but she's never seen him wear anything else. It may say a lot about the difference between him and Clark and Whitney. Whitney's never worn black, except for the funeral, and the same goes for Clark.

That's actually not true, because Lana just saw Clark in a tuxedo before the Spring Formal, and it wasn't confining at all. He actually looked really handsome, and Chloe looked really pretty in her fuchsia dress, and there was Lana wearing red when maybe she should've been wearing green.

Lana's not used to being envious of people. She's not used to feeling jealous. Lana's always had the charmed life, always had what everyone else wants.

Other people envy her.

It's strange for her to realize that right now she wants to be in Chloe's place, that maybe she's been wanting to be in Chloe's place for a long time.

Lana's always prided herself on knowing what was going on, knowing how people felt and what they wanted from her. How they wanted her. Everybody wants to be the princess. No one ever remembers the old queen that got overthrown. No one ever wants to be the has been that was cast aside.

Maybe that's why Lana has always been good about living in the moment. Why she's always been able to capitalize on what she has now.

It's not that Lana doesn't appreciate the past, because her parents are a part of her past, but Lana's always been about living in the present too. About doing what's right at that exact time, for all parties involved.

Saying `yes' to Whitney was just another way of her doing the good thing, the right thing. Whitney is her present, and he will continue to be until they pull into that Greyhound station. Until he goes off to Wichita and becomes a Marine and is relegated to her memories of him and the letterman's jacket that now hangs in her closet.

It's the only Crows paraphernalia Lana has in her post-cheerleading phase. The red and yellow are a stark contrast to the pinks and the blues and the greens that hang facing forwards in her closet, and in the week that the jacket has been hanging there, Lana's thought more than once of putting it somewhere else. Someplace where it doesn't remind her of Whitney every day. Someplace where it doesn't throw off the calmness of a closet organized by color.

A rainbow spectrum for Lana to wear based on her mood, her whims.

Not that Lana's clothes always correspond to her mood. Not that she would deliberately wear green if she's ever was feeling jealous, but sometimes it just matches. Sometimes Lana wonders if she really is the princess.

Maybe that's why she doesn't choose her clothing haphazardly like Chloe who wears whatever she wants and does whatever she wants. Of course, Chloe's not tied down by any sort of Smallville obligations; she doesn't have to be the princess. Chloe comes from Metropolis. Chloe runs the school newspaper, Chloe is going to the dance with Clark, and today, for the first time Lana can remember, Clark was more interested in someone else when she was in the room.

It hurt. It's not how the story is supposed to go.

Lana has always been the princess; she's always been the first choice. She's always been the girl in the pink dress that all the princes want to marry. For Halloween when she was seven she was Snow White because it was fitting. It was who she's supposed to be. Who she is. The prince always comes for the princess. The prince doesn't marry somebody from the village, that's not how it works.

But this isn't a fairy tale, this is life; and it may not be how it's supposed to go, but that's how it is. That's why Lana is an orphan and that's why Whitney is going off to the Marines.

This is why when Lana goes home tonight, she'll put on her pale green pajamas and wish she was at the dance with her prince.


If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Zahra


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